hey baby i think i love you
saw you across the room
all the flowers began to bloom
the smile on your face
oh it takes the pain away
the warm of your arms
oh its tearing me apart
because all i what is you
you make your way towards me
oh we’ll have to wait and see
will you fall in love with me
like i fell in love with you?
see the twinkle in my eye?
yes i maybe kinda shy
but put your arm around me
please just let me know you’re mine
because all i want is you
and to be yours

i sit down at the table with my one waffle
one of the egos ones that you put in the toaster
it’s covered in peanut butter and syrup
yet i still don’t want to eat it
one bite, two bites, three bites i’m good
but soon enough i’m sick of it and want to throw the rest away
one more bit i say
then another
then another
until the whole waffle is gone and my stomach hurts
because i need the extra calories don’t i?
fifteen pounds underweight
being told i look like i’m starving myself
i just want to be normal
that’s normal, right?
packing my lunch with extra snacks
not because my mom said i couldn’t
but because i need the extra food
i’m so tired of being this way
i forced myself to eat and eat until i gag and then i stop for a bit so none of my hard work comes up
people who can’t stop eating aren’t the only ones who need help
someone please help the ones who can barely eat at all

oh i know i shouldn’t do it
but God, it feels so good
anything to stop the pain
is something i’m willing to do
don’t push yourself like that
but please i need to
all i can ever feel
is what this causes
release the dopamine or whatever you call it
just please keep me from going back
i would rather betray myself in every way
than go back to that
back to the way i was in the dark
back to the way i was all alone
back to the way i used to be
please. just let me hold on
just this one thing
it will make it all better in the end
you’ll see
you’ll see.

there are some things you just learn in life
i learned
you either
live
die
or live dead
and the best choice is to live
and the worst is likely live dead
because even though you can come back from it
you feel like you never will
whereas dead is already gone
but still
you don’t chose to die
over to live dead
because help can be found
for the pain from your head

so much to handle
it rolls and rolls
down the page
down my face
like a raging waterfall
not understanding
hurts the worst
superior they are to you
you know nothing at all
just another reason
for the waterfall
oh all the confusion
building up inside
i use the hurt to build a wall
i close the door and hide
visiting hours they come and go
like my will to move
people pass by with their own words
that hurt to the roots
so dark and cold in the tower i built
but who could get me out
one day the door will soon be gone
and i’ll be left with doubt

There are many things that people believe in
Some more playful than real
Like how the sun and the moon are lovers
So many theories about humanity
All the ins and outs of it
All the whys and how’s
How the sound of toes tapping on the floor
And water falling from the sky in drops
Can make us who we are
But what if there really is more?
Maybe inside of us there’s something making us who we are
So many of us of this world being held down
How someone’s views and opinions are what makes them
What about the ones who are more?
The ones with the beautiful souls
The ones who only care about feelings, happiness, fullness of life, and beauty
The ones who are a spark in the darkness of he world
The ones you notice simply by how they don’t touch the earth when they walk, they glide as if every step takes place on a star
The ones who come when people need it most, sending boring lives into hurricanes of colors, thoughts, and questions
The ones that are a little more beautiful and a little more tragic than the rest
Maybe, just maybe
The people are a little more universe
Maybe a normal soul is made of grass and trees and warm spring days or cold and snow on a winter night
But that could not compare to the soul of a universe
Infinite and dark and beautiful
Where stars are steps and ideas are realities and colors are just a bit more vibrant
Maybe some of us are just created more universe than the rest of us
But it makes all the difference

I can scream
I can rip
I can yell
I can grip
I can slice
I can cry
I can run
I can die
Because no one notices
When you hide how you feel
Behind the door
That is your mouth
That you can not open to strangers or neighbors
And behind the eyes
That are your windows
That you can not pour water out of no matter how bad it’s flooding