today i’m a little bit more sad that yesterday
the pain of the missing person i won’t see sinks into me
so used to having them by my side whenever i call
not having them here makes me feel ten times as weak as i am strong
i want to hold his hand and feel his touch
but the fact that we’re kids puts a wall between us
and the time that we spend with other people
limits the time that we have to ourselves
holding on until he is back is all i can do
i’ll wait day and night just to hear his “i love you”

part of me still loves all of my old loves
all the ones that left and hurt me
no matter how bad they treated me
a part of me will always be with them
intertwined in the pages in my mind
that keep the story of my past loves

my depression is a monster
clothed in a shadow hiding its face
it wrestles me to the ground
and i try to fight back
but i’m barely strong enough to stay alive
sometimes it hits me and i get knocked down
the damages can last for a while
and sometimes i get a hit in
but that only makes it angrier
more hungry to feed on what is inside of me
i hope one day to take this monster
to be able to walk it on a leash
and maybe it will listen to most of my commands
but until then i just have to keep trying
and until then that is what i will do

I’m insecure
And that is okay
In a way
Yes i should work on it
No i should not be
Criticized
Disrespected
“Proven wrong”
Or anything else
Because that is normal
And no matter what
We are all beautiful