My first love, I had thought she has came from heaven above, but it wasn't true..
For she had lied to me.....for she had blinded me with this false hope that I could be happy with another person, these feelings churning in my stomach, left my thoughts tossing and turning in my head, meaningless fights, sleepless nights....for all had come to an end with two words..."we're done"

Please stop trusting me.
I love you but you think that's a good thing.
It's not.

Stay away from me.
Don't you know that I'm poison?
I am.

Things don't work out for me.
You say someday they will.
They won't.

I love you so much more than you could ever know.
Go away.

Today a man told a **** joke.
Everyone laughed.
I stood there and thought about it for a moment
And then I asked,
"What is funny about that?"
The laughter stopped
and they stood there in silence.
The momentary silence of shattered illusions,
There was no answer
Because it wasn't funny
So why laugh?

My love is strengthened, though more weak in seeming;
I love not less, though less the show appear;
That love is merchandized, whose rich esteeming
The owner’s tongue doth publish everywhere.
Our love was new, and then but in the spring
When I was wont to greet it with my lays,
As Philomel in summer’s front doth sing,
And stops her pipe in growth of riper days—
Not that the summer is less pleasant now
Than when her mournful hymns did hush the night,
But that wild music burthens every bough,
And sweets grown common lose their dear delight.
    Therefore like her I sometime hold my tongue,
    Because I would not dull you with my song.

I can't help it!
In my heart I feel so alone
In a crowd of people
Don't feel like home
Something is missing
Even though I have everything
I could wish for

People think they know me
In reality it's all just bluff
They try to understand
Let's face it, they give up
One moment I'm easy to read
The other I'm a Rubik's Cube
Try to solve me
It's practically impossible

People tell me what's right and what's wrong
But in my head it's all just a blurre
I make mistakes - I'm human as you can see
That's life - that's the reality

I'm crazy and weird
I don't fit in
Trying to look perfect but I keep living in sin
An image of a respectful and good girl is
What I want you to see
But the actions fail to prove that fact
That's what I think - what a pity

I respect myself, I really do
It's just the past that haunts me
It tears me apart
I won't be able to forget
In stead I'm living a life full of regret

I'm a mirror with fingerprints and stains
Looking at myself with a body full of cold blooded veins
It's not me I'm looking at
Even though it's a representation of me
I feel so foreign to myself by the actions that I've done, empty

What's wrong with me
Can't I just be like everyone else; normal
Not questioning everything about life?
No, I just had to be like this

Loving myself is one of the hardest things to do
I'm telling you - it's such a pain to go through
Especially when the mirror is almost broken
By all the people who have let me down, cracked it open

Matter of fact - I've let myself down

Who am I, you ask
I have no clue
I might never find out
But as far as I know, I'll try
Try to accept myself
Try to let go of the past
Try to move foreword