Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Sometimes Starr Nov 2018
Well you have wild eyes
But they're stuck in your skull
Touched by a world
They're forced to call home
Imprisoned in this aquarium
Where the fish all ****
Then I swear to God
I'm over it

When a part of me breaks loose
Traipsing through the woods
Or in my room,
And I'm reminded I'm an animal
And I stare down my
Umbilical cord, musing

That's when I feel the most alive.

But the jungle's grown
Computed edges
The people make
Nocturnal pledges
To the moon
Under the starry night
What fight is won
By its hairy law?

It gives me wild eyes,
Wild eyes that blink the time away
Because they don't want to believe!
They don't want to believe that this is my life.
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
Surrogate star--
Tangled in the darkness of my hair,
Cast a light I can look on and sigh
Make my universe eerie and deep.

Ectopic heart--
Now we are doomed to survive
And it's hard to be so sensitive.

My Stillborn child!
Walk with your apparatus
And remember the words to your song.

Note the level of attractiveness
As you hobble through the crypt
At least nobody thought you were wrong!
Sometimes Starr Jan 2018
It's wishful thinking
Western life
The rigid machinery of social constructs

So where do I place my limbs
So that my heart and head swim?

East coast shoulders
Chip and wear
From carrying the blues, on and on.

That music swells us up
And pulls asunder.

It's the bold and ancient
Sound of thunder
That reminds me of what I should be

So how do I stake my happy fate
In the loudness of the modern state?

East coast blues
the Lansdale average
I guess they're right, and that's just life.

So find a warm spot,
Hold the night.
Sometimes Starr May 2016
i don't need any Thing,
this world is my Lover.

look! i was born on a landscaped, grassy hill.

no wait! i must humble myself, so
hello. i am just another man in Love
setting up his spine for alignment

i am the king who is no king
who looks up down but sideways at people
i am the traveler granted an open mind,
my smile is my throne.

your smile is celestial
here we float in space
Sometimes Starr Sep 2019
I've got sick religion,
A black week of your absence.
My guess is you'll plant something there
Where the soil is still good and fertile
But I swear I'm never going back.

College stairs is my blonde heroine
Frizzy hair was the angel I couldn't sleep next to,
I could lay in the November Rain til I died
Dressed nice but I never got my engine running
On fuel I bought myself.

Talent died before shooting from my fingers
I remember an episode of Journey to the Microcosmos
Watching this one little organism try so hard to hold it together....
and then it fell apart.
Sometimes Starr Sep 2018
Today is a day for
Finer sandpaper
The coarse grit of yesterday
Need no longer apply

So I swell with pride--
With humility quell
My swelling eyes.

You're sawdust in the sunset,
You grew from a faraway tree
Cut down by a stranger
Unknown, you grew to me.

And now this beauty
Is what I see.

They say god's house is made of
Many layers of the most expensive gemstones,
Well i am just happy to be working with wood.
Sometimes Starr Nov 2018
You levitate that weight
Like a miracle child
Your voice cavorts like a springtime Clarinet
Your eyes are soft and meek
But they look out from a place
That's felt such pressure
And your small frame
It was never weak.

You're a working woman
And I love to watch you work,
Watch your gears all turn
Hear your words unfurl
They are clear
And they're cute

Your pain
Is spun with certain grace
You might not agree
But I love the taste
Of the salt on your skin
You're so human
And I'm always in awe
Of your face.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2024
When I fell asleep last night
It felt like I was dying
Now I know what life is
And I still can't do it right

Giving up the day
I faded into nothing
When I fell asleep last night
I felt like I was dead.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2021
A bit tossed,
A little bit ravaged it would seem.

A terribly strange dream,
I wish my bolts would stay in place.

I wish I could live with that much grace.

Never mind,
I wish
I wish that I'd just stay away.

I guess I wish that you were gay.

Things are different over here
I feel smeared
And it's too late.

No one can escape this fate

And something went wrong with my date.
Lol, 'i wish u were gay'
Sometimes Starr Sep 2019
Wrought iron holds back the worst things
As I pass on by
Wrought iron that pierced the sky
And it rains
Rains down on everyone

These twisted wraiths beleaguer me
But they're held to their ends
By some fever living in me

And I pass on by.
Sometimes Starr Jun 2017
i last forever
i come in hell
i come in heaven

i rang the bell
i ring the new thing
i'll drink forever

i never die
i last forever
i come in heaven

i come in hell
i'll break for you.
i'll break for you.
Ya
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
Ya
Ya, the taste of ice cream on his lips
Ya, garlic mustard growing on the ridge
Ya, the good ideas on the fretboard
Ya, I hone the sound of thunder in my hand

Ya, Philadelphia
Ya, Rapunzel let down her hair
Ya, Dipper Riley Marko and Tucker
Ya, Texas

Ya, Pokémon
Ya, al kahul
Ya, Fall Out Boy
Ya, skinny jeans
Ya, asymmetrical hairdo

Ya, Kitty
Ya, Rock and Roll
Ya, the nature preserve
Ya, The Way She Moves

Ya, Mayday Parade
Ya, the Philadelphia Orchestra
Ya, Music Theory Classes
Ya, backpacking by yourself

Ya, Family
Ya, the Museum of Modern Art
Ya, Mount Hoback
Ya, Cimarron NM

Ya, The Wonder Years
Ya, Allen Ginsberg
Ya, The Moon
Ya, the Wissahickon Green Ribbon Trail

Ya, the mansion
Ya, Devil's Pool
Ya, Bloomsburg
Ya, Danville

Ya, Kangaroo
Ya, girlfriend
Ya, Australian licorice

Ya, Gameboy color
Ya, AOL Instant Messenger
Ya, The Killers
Ya, Santa Claus

Ya, Chipotle
Ya,
Sometimes Starr Mar 2022
I'm anchored to my purpose,
But lean into infinity.

The stars, my wistful wishes
For other possibilities

Together, we're all dying
A sad, deceptive snake
I'd say at least we're trying
For someone else's sake...

Lost count of every blessing,
Forgetting we're alone

Right now I still feel loved,
Did we have to let it go?

You're brave, for being nothing
At least remember that
It's worth it to forget it, though...
And odd to be a cat.
What Mew Shat
Sometimes Starr Sep 2024
We have to consider the state of fulfillment
We have to fit on the track we're on
You make your own decisions,
But they're all blanks you fill in

Your skills, the dopamine and serotonin
Surround you in a web of souls
Trying hard is the trial of the ego
But how good can you really get?

The cells of your spinal column
Are piano virtuosos
Missile defense systems
And research scientists

Technically it happened
But the center would be troubled
With the condition of no,
It's not the center

The place where all my talent goes to die
And I can tell they resent me

//

But pick me up sunshine
Knowing this kind of makes the half wit things seem
Extra smart,
And you'd definitely tell me I'm insane
Whatever, live in whatever wild fantasy you want to
Kind of thing
But I know the trick of self-validation

I'll sip my coffee and check my brow
Find not much there but a little sweat
Wipe it off and do whatever it is I do here
Sometimes Starr Jun 2016
i will finish what you started,
and then finish what i started.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2024
Your bleached bones sit in the cellar.
"She was impertinent,"
I said
With a sip of my morning tea.

The tea with blueberry honey,
The tea with a spoonful of cream.

Aw rats, yoiu said,
I guess I'm dead
And kept right on living
Like Ozzy forking Osborne
Like Rick forking Grimes
But you live on like bones
In the cellar of my mind
The bitter milk of Lilith
Like "I don't have to bow to myself"
So I don't
I go on living
This impossible life.
Hailing yourself the great wizard above all creation,
Assuming yourself humble and
Adding it
To your list of accomplishments
Gracing me with just enough to keep me fed
Devoting your whole identity to my sense of well-being
And yet,
Being a separate being from me

Barring me from realities,
Many of which were extremely positive and exclusive,
NOT JUST BEING the result of emergence, no
ACTUALLY BEING that thing, that's just life, as you say
It's not just a result of universal forces but it just exists that way and I have to accept it

I'm shaking my clenched fist at you,
Michael.
There you go.
You have a digestive quality
You move through time
Like a worm
Eating itself
Sometimes Starr Sep 2023
I lied to you child, I'm sorry
We're chemically inert
Not every phase
Or every day
But still it's made of dirt

I protected you child, forever
From the ravages of Earth
But now you'll see
There's hell to pay
That we never deserved

These automatic reasons
Which are to you ascribed...
I know those heavy thoughts
I know that we've been bribed

And I know, i know, i know that you're surprised.
Sometimes Starr Sep 2023
They hate me,
Why do they hate me?
The circus is contagious
Contrivance is a theme here.

They hate me so much,
And don't I hate myself?
No, I hate when it gets hard.

I am not perverted,
I am straight as an arrow.

But gravity bends me
Bends me into the straightest line there ever was
But a line is too brave a thing,
And you hate it.

Then why do you change?
I do not change,
I just continue
You do not hate me,
You can not hate me,
You only love me or you're neutral.

I am not excessively proud of what I am,
Just aware that it could not be wrong.
I have never made a mistake,
And my challengers all tend to fall away.

You will never defeat me
I can not be wrong
You can not hate me
I am straight as an arrow.

Cigarettes alcohol cannabis
******* ******* MDMA
LSD selfishness disdain
Resentment rage
Lust and greed
Psilocybin judgment morality pride
Gluttony hatred complacency
Intentional ignorance
Recklessness DUI love
Lying theft suboxone
Apathy neglect

Up from the soil, from a Womb, out of the darkness
Some came to be Hitlers
And some came to be Buddhas:
The idea of responsibility is the knife you press to my throat
And my own awareness is the wooden handle

How is it my fault, what happened here?
How can you blame me, how?
This is a chain reaction
This is a dream
This is running out of life

You are the wasted sides of me
Don't you think I want to save you?
But I can't, I love you so much, we are always stuck like this, I CAN'T

MY DEAR AND BELOVED CHILD-- WHEN YOU SEE THE THING YOU ARE JEALOUS OF PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE RICH

I KNOW YOU HATE IT, WE ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME
IT'S A DESPERATE MESSAGE I'M SENDING TO MYSELF

But I can't save you
We were
We were rich, so rich and vibrant
Sometimes Starr Feb 2018
Death rides on a heavy black wave
Caught in the curl of a hospital bed
You might think it's all over

But this is just the beginning
Even harsh limitation has a limit
And pain
Only makes a visit.

Death is not so powerful in the face of life
It shrinks and it withers and it cries.

Death is only half the world--
The rest is made of light.
Sometimes Starr Jan 2019
The human operation
Unholy truths
The utilitarian view
The evolutionary science of empathy,
Collectivism, tribe.

The philosophy of love,
Indomitable.
The crooked trident of justice,
Did any artist ever render it right?
Knowing has changed us
The unknown is what keeps us tethered

Tethered to insanity,
Which must have something to do with death
The open-ended
Freedom
Anarchy
Indecision,
Erasure.
Turn green to see you lively
With empty, bruised eyes
A heart that's tilted backward
While others dive right in

I'll set the world on fire
I'll **** off all my hopes
You'll say I didn't have to
But you were wrong
You think you know better
I'm stuck in the concrete
I've already let this go.
Sometimes Starr Jul 2016
her blood is not quiet
it bounds, and razes on
sinking into the world like a burning acid
like teeth into tender meat her blood.

her blood is the new tool of the universe
lighting up the hackneyed American streets
timeless in her elegance it is her blood
that makes her timeless, but me--

my blood sits grey and quiet,
quite lazy and resplendent in a thick husk
like an anemone withdraws,
becomes one with the tether or the tie
to the Universe.

no teeth can get in,
no jealousy
i am alone
with the memory
of her thrashing blood
on the other side
of my ear canal
Funny how i have the strength to doubt you
Michael doesn't give a **** about you
From this angle
The angels
Are leaning quite against you

Find a lever
And sever
The parts that aren't perfect
But tell me how do you deserve it?

I had to peel
Had to find
Something deep beneath the surface
Had to work
Had to feel
Just how fatalist my birth is
You're a demon and you know it
Don't try to claim you're God
You're about to find out
How ****** up the universe is.
Now you can accuse me of being a crazy person who thinks they are god
Sometimes Starr Sep 2023
Oh, where I am
Just went through the thought
I am your peanut butter
I am your glass of water

Oh, where I am
I cannot think that thought
Within the immolation,
I do get ****** into

Without myself,
I went to be your peanut butter
I'll never be a glass of water
Oh no, no no no

You sprang out with me
But we are different lines
Imaginary numbers and irrational are fine
Irregular is better
Got my scalene way of life
And we will all go back
To where we sprang from
You, not I, are divine
You, you, you
You you you you you
You, you you
You you you were never mine
Sometimes Starr Sep 2024
The way
They all
Seem to hint
That grassy adage
Every blade, every blade...!

Every blade bristles and tickles
And cuts my skin
To pieces

Cause you might think
You want to leave
But appearances deceive
And would you believe
That I think I know why it is!?

Well, if suffering and joy go ***-for-tat
Like a monopole deciding where it's at
Then I might find some joy in suffering
But then I lost the point of suffering

And I might find the joy to disappoint
In moments when I see what's going on
Or at least I might get nauseous looking up
When caution doesn't matter anymore

So sometimes there is rich inside the poor
And sometimes there is sane inside insane
And I swear that I knew this all before
But my my my my my things forking changed.

But what bothers me the most of all is you
The empath who could never draw the line
And now writing this poem I see it's me
The kind of shirt that happens all the time

There is a certain, certain safety with you
That I just have a feeling I might lose
But there is certain liberation down the road
Oh, i always go, I always go
Sometimes Starr Oct 2024
The Experience is mad at itself
Because it takes up its own space
Accusations fly
Like swine through melting skies

Don't harbor a bad reaction
Sometimes Starr May 2017
So I heard you can finally see.

While that may be true,
I will never forgive you.

I will demean your character,
Rot your ******* bones.

You are just a neural impulse,
You are like a sugar pill for the ground.

I will show you how everything you did
Never meant anything, never existed.

Everything you loved hated you;
You just never realized it.

And you will live with me forever.
Sometimes Starr Nov 2023
The ripcord pulled through in me,
And that's not to say that I'm some vacant man,
Just that things have changed
And I'm off on the next leg of my star-spangled adventures...

I certainly hope I get to see a bit more of the world,
But I am scared,
And I ought to be,
Because no one can protect me from the demons aside from using bits of my flesh like *******-up little human shields,
And I want to stay safe and warm here with you,
Curled up inside you in your messy room.

I don't want to blink,
And yes, that's right,
I don't want to move.

Don't fall apart.

Don't have a need to fulfill every possibility.

Please, just... let's skip over that part. Please... I remember everything
Sometimes Starr Apr 2018
It wasn't prudent to leave you that way
Frothing and ugly
All the nice people
All the cozening beast
Turned from me,
A passing freak

I began clawing at the wall
Instead of writing poetry
And they came rushing in with guns
And treated me like a threat

A strange creature started eating my time and flesh
It said confusing things about why it had the authority to do this
In plain English
I had to sit still
I watched the creature's blood-letting ritual heal some
But it made me feel dizzy and weak

I miss you, love
When you were young--
Now it is me who is 23
And she who is 19
Only I wasn't cool enough to snap her little heart
That is for young men and is not kind to do to girls

I miss you, love
But you're so far
Got everything you wanted
I could never sing straight
I could only hit that note when I was alone
I am not like Brendon Urie
And I am not like Soupy or any of those people

But I can try

I am dizzy and you went straight through me
I am scrounging for scraps
I am listening to my thoughts telling me I will be venerated and having to snap out of it
You're crazy

D d d
We're gonna die one day
But small things are beads on an infinite necklace
And these wons were woven in with a solemn, steady hand
Sometimes Starr Dec 2024
We are what we were always going to be--
At the present moment predeterminism and its holy foil are suspended
I choose the same moment I was always going to choose but yes
Someone does have to choose it.

But you are disinterested,
My death drive saps the fun right out of it
But the Romans are listening
And they know their word quantum has made it to the final stage
In ways they never would have guessed
Do you think they crave a return to their former glory?
I might deceive you for a while
Pull the wool over your eyes
It's nice and soft
It's not that often
But I think of her sometimes

Can you prepare for such a trap?
Lingering in the aftermath
Of a realization
Like an arrow through my heart

This isn't home!
You're killing everything you love
And don't you miss the way it was,
Or you might waste your precious time

This isn't home,
This isn't **-o-o-o-ome
And though you struggle and you fight
For me, I'm gone.

This isn't home.

I can help you start over
Just bend a little lower
We have learned this trick before

They say that nothing's new
But when I see your baby blues
I feel brand new again.

This isn't home.
You're killing everything you love
And don't you miss the way it was,
When you were young?

This isn't home
This isn't **, ah oh, uh o-ome
Now I'm starting to feel new again.

In a whole new way.

pensive instrumental breakdown

I think we might just be on to the same thing.

raining emo guitar

This isn't home.
This isn't ** o o o ome
Now I'm starting to feel new again

This isn't home
I let this go
And I think I might just break
Oh, won't you hold me as we're dying?
Sometimes Starr Nov 2016
i will never be the same again.

it's not terrible
it's terrifying

it's nothing new
it's pervasive

it's nothing surprising
it's perverted

you inspire me to such extremes of my soul
aaaaand i'm sorry about it.
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
What,
Did you think that you could give a valid gift?
Use your stamps to buy us food
That we really do taste?

What,
Did you think that you were feeding hungry mouths?
And I can show you that you did,
But you know why it never saves you?

What,
Does it seem to you the angels give each other
What you could never give them
And the looks they throw disturb you?

Well I'm sorry,
That's a pill
That you'll just have to swallow.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2019
do you have the guts
do you have the guts
do you have the guts to be your own salvation?

do you have the time
do you have the time
do you have the time to be your own salvation?

hanging' round by the dead end sign
striking our cigarettes
and dancing on the dead tracks

we've been parked up in this
culdesac
for waaay too long.

do i have the guts,
do i have the time
do i have the mind to do anything else?

you know judgy *******
never mattered to me
i think my halo's running low on battery

but hey if i'm alive
then i might as well live--

do you have the guts
do you have the guts
do you have the guts to be your own salvation?

do you have the time
do you have the time
do you have the time to be your own salvation?

i got a little time
for some quiet meditation
i been writing up a plan
i'm gonna be my own salvation

you know what people say
never mattered to me
so i'm charging up my batteries

because hey if i'm alive
then i might as well live

do you have the guts
do you have the guts
do you have the guts to be your own salvation?

do you have the time
do you have the time
do you have the time to be your own salvation?

do have the guts?
or are you nucking futs?
do you have the time?
or are you too sublime?
Sometimes Starr Nov 2018
The space between us is filled with pestilent noise that scrapes and raps at my ear drums and it's maddening.
I only ever get a chance to tear it away every now and then.
To the love,
To the beating heart of the universe,
Where I put my ear to listen and it soothes my body through like a warm river.

I want to tear the bubbling black growth from your life
It lies there next to us,
Next to the soothing river I can hear it hissing and cracking.

I know you're in pain.

I love you,
And I just want to show you that in every thing I do.
Stay strong.
Don't let the infection win.
Because all I want to do is love my world as she spins.
Sometimes Starr Dec 2019
i'm so lazy
i should help my fellow humans
i should help create a better world
but i was lazy
i stood by and let things get worse.
Sometimes Starr Apr 2019
I don't remember the day I started giving you tests.

You passed them all,
Flying colors.

But there was always something left.
A stray mark,
An eraser smudge,
Or I'd just fabricate something entirely.

I'd question your... dedication.
Yes.

I'd look into your eyes, searching for a lack of symmetry.

It's a mean thing to do to a nice girl
Who has only ever given you
The fullest beats of her beating heart.

Now, I know I'm not symmetrical.
In gruesome monologues,
Lit by dramatic spotlight
I'm aware of what I'm doing.

But I just looked in the mirror and god,
Was it horrid.

But I tell you everything.
I tell you things like this,
About me,
And you still love me anyway.

No space beats the space you inhabit.
I want to inject your blood into mine
Because I feel your heart trying to push it in,
Trying to push across our skin.

And we are perfectly symmetrical,
You and I,
If I just let us lay
Side by side
Sometimes Starr Sep 2016
She sits
In meditation
For reasons you are here to
...Devise

When she awake,
I died.

Divide, divide, divide.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Arrive and decide.
Inspire and ignite.
Arise behind her
Katholic eyes.
You said you lived a perfect life without sin,
And you say my actions were plain to see
Filthy, murderous of spirit, woven by demons.

You didn't claim it yourself
It was your followers who said it
No one here will say I'm pure of spirit

But you are. You are pure spirit,
And I am your solenoid,
Channeling you
And we necessitate an enemy

(Unless we can pick a different paradigm)

And we can be our own enemy.
But Jesus walks with us.

My life was, is, and will always be perfect.
Perfect and present,
Until there's no future.

A quantum infinity.

This is the end of me.
Without context,
I guess the rain is self-defined.
It falls straight through my mind
Without an issue or a flaw.

An average Monday
A white blanket on the sky
And a feeling that I generate
Each physical law

I never asked for this
Your heavy wet bricks
Keeping me inside
I'm safe and bored
My heavy brow

I never asked for this
The freedom and bliss
I will divine a way to meet you
On a heavenly cloud

I will divine a way to meet you
On a heavenly cloud
Sometimes Starr May 2019
The blue sky protrudes into my eyes,
But the day's beauty is not lost on me.

I'm happy to have gotten through handcuffs and jail cells,
Happy to paint red roses along cranial fractures

It's weird knowing you're crazy.
As the world pulls my guts,
I just want to slide into my best body
Or grasp it quickly with a passionate hand.
Sometimes Starr May 2018
Sophistry! You solipsist.
You singular charlatan-savant.
You're the *****.
You're the best at sinking deep
Into the thick steaming ****--
One day you'll wash on the beach.

Of another man's eye you'll be seen.
A wretched, fated thing-- scoffed at you'll be.

You are the woman you long for
Chasing your tail
In love with yourself
Never, never, no--
A man-- the greatest ever
But forget it all, forget it in fever.

Dash it all down and scrape her off your skin
Carry that on your back
That is a man
And this
in fact
Is the Final Act--
greatest ever = it's now
Sometimes Starr Jul 2019
Eyes frozen awake glaze over and rot yellow
Newborn buds are fertile in the spiral spring
Off to the side, let's go, let's die
We'll watch them rise and live new lives

I'm sorry my poems are so miserable when life is so beautiful
I'm just sad because I feel like I lost my mind
Did I ever really have it,
Did it come with holes
Did I just pay them too much mind?

I have missed my mark by far
But mixed resolve with fate or fear
Will tighten up a sagging life
Off to the side, let's go, let's die
Take your place in the order
Fall to the side
Close your frozen, buzzing eyes

— The End —