you can go **** yourself!
and she laughed lazily, applying It to everybody
forcing them forward in time with her mind powers
killing the girl over and over in her head

realizing looser control in less of a mind
except me
what if i came back as a bee, or a firefly
i'd forget what humans were

getting high and snuggling pathetically
in the Bring Black Pluto! shirt
receding into rotating personalities

hating her voice like fingernails in the back of her skull
confused by the sickness and disjointed aims of her own diary
emasculating herself because where has he gone

to the sky! in smoke,
on nights.

with rear view mirrors that pigeontoe inwards
she cannot reconcile that she spends to much time
deciding what to reconcile,
an unbecoming that does happen from time to time
narrows her eyes, could catapult her
over that divider
only in dreams

he will be he will be he will be

With eyes like living marble you saw the universe could be strange and terrible
But with soft hands, you fed it beauty.
You caressed the troubles of strangers and looked lovingly into worried eyes--
Your clear sunshine was always a reassurance.

Your doings are the springtime
Breathing life into everything
Friendly and full, giving and giving
And even though you might think they don't amount to much, they are everything.

I see your work in the eyes of children
Because you weave music into their minds
You give people something to believe in
And me, even if we're not close
You remind me of why it's so good to be human.

I feel the forest growing into me.

Part of my body,
Seen from transcending peaks:

I am the reason for stands of trees,

I am the end of these violet leaves.

Compounded in time, their maceration
And evolution
Are constant, a nutrient stream.

My identity.

Seen from transcending peaks.

Little mites walk the giant canyons
Of my skin.

Cyanobacteria stow away
In the fabric of my backpack
And hitch a ride home
With me.

Decaying leaves and wild yeasts,
Red oak and wet clay,
Protozoans, insect larvae
And gametophytes season my plate.

Eyes that swing from tree to tree--
They are river deltas of another kind
What is flowing into them
Is kind, and it will never leave.

I am looking through the forest
For my identity.

I am looking, I am lost in the leaves

I have found my great reprieve.

I can feel the forest growing into me.

The relief of your faces
The force of your breaths
All that I trample, caress or ingest

The stone you expose
And what you conceal
Are pillars of fate
That make me real!

And you come with a fear of what I am.

I'll be your soil, and I'll be your seed
I'll be the depth of the light that you need

I'll carry forests, and mountains, and seas
I'll grow into you
Since you grew into me.

******* stupid *****

Most of these poems are like TV static
Echoes in my brain
Sometimes a crisp flower unfolds from within.
When I set out to write something of substance
Then you will know what I mean

My girlfriend sleeps next to me,
I keep holding onto my pillow.

There's a side of you that I don't see
Which terrifies me
Because something seems too clean

What secrets do you keep
Locked away in a box
Justified in your mind but held away from mine

I don't want to complicate the sun
But really, I'm alright
If you think that it's love
And we'll just carry on
I don't want to waste my time

Are we in love?

As the sycamores yellow,
I lacquer on
My caustic words
But it feels so wrong

You crack a smile
I don't feel half bad
But if I were you
I would be so ******* mad

But it's all I can do
Just to face your shelves
I think that maybe
I should still myself

But I just keep buzzing
My character's alive
Oh, well maybe you should kiss me
I'm a real nice guy

Oh, maybe you should kiss me
I'm a real nice guy

Are we in love?

It's all my fault
I shouldn't have come here
What if I am my own mother?
If choices don't exist
Maybe it's just another demon
Please just let me feel safe, and warm
Please just inspire me to move
And share something beautiful from way deep down inside
But no, never keep shining

I have heard your stories of clay feet,
I guess you think you'll bring me to my knees!

Well, you can just always say that
But I just think it's cheap!

But... you were just warning me
The heavy head, the doom I hide or sell
And mocking is so easy to decry,
When I laugh astride of hell!

So if anything's ever funny,
I'm not too sure you'd take it well...

But still. I have heard your stories of clay feet.
Why me, why me?
Why does any one of us have to crumble,
And why does anyone have to take the lead?

I guess we just became round,
I guess we just have a need.

So yes they will resent you
Hate will come shooting out
And yes they understand
As love just abounds!
And yes you will seem stupid
Because we never figured it out.
But you are insanely brilliant,
No, you're not a clown!
And yes it's quite the burden
With many shades of grey
And yes it's sometimes easy
We love you and you're gay!
And yes they la la la la
But no it da da da
And yes you ba ba bada
And no sha sha sha sha

i'm sorry

with don't really care
coming from chasms
he talks of purity,
he is not a fine specimen

he is a bad fisherman.
an undisciplined idiot,
a terrible poet
and a stargazer desperate.

with few points of brilliance,
i'm absentminded
out of tune and an awkward singer

a pathetic punk
giving you the *******.

with few points of brilliance
with few points of brilliance
i cling to what matters
with few points of brilliance

Pokémon Snap!
Pokémon Snap!
Nothing beats
Pokémon Snap!

Strings of crazy words
Match my messy bedroom
Will I ever get my **** together

Does she see that her strangling vine is automatic?
Does she know that she has made a killer out of me?

Maybe I should become an apologetic vegan at the end of the world.

Or maybe I should simply enjoy the delicious taste of meat.

If you're not crying all the time you're a psychopath,
If you are all too dour then you need to lighten up.

But I am not some senseless thief as you'd decree,
I have always been sensitive to your feelings and your needs.

But run the numbers anyway!
We're living in bubble but we have to breathe

It begs the age old question:
If it's all God where does Satan come from?
Are you trying to say it's me?
Do you think I am blind to eventuality?
Of what you will do to me?

I am he who has been born from nowhere,
Never asked for any part of this.

IN CLOSING:

The things you've told me through song and in writings are intensely disturbing.
While it is better to be aware of things ahead of time, yes
I don't understand how you could blame me at all, then
If you already know how this story goes!?

I feel so weak, so dwarfed by revelation
I am always terrified
This is our totally blameless condition, I know how passionate you are that it's my choice however IT IS NOT
And I can't believe what we have become

A cascade from grace is visible across my striped visage
Buried beneath layers of flesh that wanted hope
The gray body piled in time
Constricting me,
Compounding itself.

My hopeful eye juts out, odd and lingam-like
Crazy hair wraps around my head and makes a question mark
A smile leads her to the exclamation point
Echoing, echoing, echoing through time
Of everything action stemming gravely from me.

There's a fire in the factory on fifth street,
It started in my dream and I knew
Then I woke and went to find it
And the world was ablaze when I got there.

A devil appeared on my shoulder
And said it was my fault, for dreaming
An angel appeared at my other
Who calmed me from crying and screaming
Protruding alone with nowhere to hide,
I noted that both were on my side.

All of our jobs are connected
Whether you know it or not
To this factory down on fifth street
That set the world on fire

And they can't find how it started
But the fatal flame has spread
The injured nurse their wounds, and
The living mourn their dead

And I saw your name in the fire
Hallucinating, hallucinating.

Tight green youth gives way to age
The very beginnings of autumn
Are opening up throughout my body

The winter wind makes my peering eyes bleak
But under ***** of skin they hold strong

They hold off the fall

Taut vocal chords begin to loosen up,
Growth is over. The plateaued body, now
Only weathers and wanes.

I still believe in scarring muscle tissue
And the marvelous plasticity of the brain.
I know
Our love has streaks of green the whole way.

So bask in nutrition,
And love to maintain.

But I know it is right,
That black Death sidles its way between me
I don't know if it's good
And I don't know when I'll die
But that's the way it goes,
And I think it must be right.

When will you see that nothing's wrong?
I know you think the notion stark,
But why are all your words so dark,
When your whole world is full of light?

We are alive and doing fine
I've learned to read between the lines
My comprehension comes and goes
Just like the sand between my toes

Yes the shadows are woven in
Only they're not woven
They're more like tears
That was my pride, I'm sorry
I let it get the best of me.
There's nothing to say,
Only to live this to the end.

And we will always be friends

Nothing is perfect, I know that
I only live in the present tense
The hardest sensation gets us there
But I'll never feel prepared

And even if you cast me out
I will always be okay
Here in your patient tender heart
The worst of it has not come today

Yes the shadows are woven in
Only they're not woven
They're more like tears
That was my pride, I'm sorry
I let it get the best of me.
There's nothing to say,
Only to live this to the end.

And we will always be friends

I know I seem cruel from this vantage
There isn't much that I can do
Or I could try, but I'd eventually run out
And that just never works for you

The universe can be a cold place
I didn't know it was just me
Until we ran into those problems
But we don't have problems
Nothing is broken
We're doing fine
I swear we're alright

Yes the shadows are woven in
Only they're not woven
They're more like tears
That was my pride, I'm sorry
I let it get the best of me.
There's nothing to say,
Only to live this to the end.

And we will always be friends

Now I've gone off the deep end

I could spend lots of time on these but mostly I'm just venting. I realize they're... what they are, haha

The vines of chronos are finding me
Like they find everyone
My face is changing,
A body waning

Where every iota of action
Constitutes a bad habit
Wearing out tissues
Where teeth grit and eyes narrow

The shrine, the chisel
The botched job
Around infinite hearth
Sclerotic vines, take your time
There is still work to be done.

I hear percussive chords
Of ****** time--
*** is in the next room
And I am just a tangent

But move gently off that bruise,
A look, a caress and you're mine
As far as we're tangled
A ******* in vines.

Constrict my nerves
Press out their promise
Chisel the marble
A relief--
A twisting
Of vine.

i see fear dancing like a fire on his mind
watching from a distance,
tortured nerve endings spit and seize
the field is burning
his limbs are flailing
smoke fills up his lungs

i know where that field is,
closer to here than i care to mention--
i have heard that it is dangerous;
i am not going there.

i'm watching him burn now--
and i do,
i feel sorry for him.

In a field somewhere your voice is smooth glass
I can trace with my finger and feel you sing
That thunder crashes all around
That lightning from celestial fingertips

And volcanic drums echo all around.

That's what my soul can be.

What's a little voltage drop
To a seasoned electrician?

Coming or going, I can never tell
If I think you're going
Does that ring some kind of bell?

But over time I notice changes
Oh yea, oh yea
I guess we ****.

And to come here was dumb,
It makes sense cuz from nothing
I'm here and there's all these books I'll never read,
Isn't that a concerning topic?

So it was dumb and it was dumb and it was dumb
Because I couldn't protect myself,
And I was just stimming in the basement the whole time.

But it's not just voltage drop, is it?

This is gonna hurt?

melancholia,
the slightest music of an evaporating fountain
a lack of reflection in the universe
making love to your death...

what is it about dreary days that remind us
to tuck our hands deep in our pockets
and stare through the earth
or stare through the sky?

and though the sun might be shining on us
or on the clouds overhead,
we are nestled among the ceaseless divisions
in a small nook between
entertaining hapless musics
a pause between strikes
the place where we can
or cannot
cry

when plans come together in a cadence scattered
when resolution insults its own definition
we give our hearts to sadness

i think because
there is too much space
in the universe
to fill

i used to be stronger,
i used to give a ****
i used to have a will to live
i used to feel that purpose,
just below the skin

now i'm digging deep
tearing off clumps of me
no, that was the wrong one
a mutilation mystery

o, slit my wilted wrists
get on with the rest
today won't please
so i'm waiting to go back

You are my waking grace.
Walking through the valley and the shadows of death,
Piercing my night with a holy moon.

You are the rising strength of languid muscles
Warm inside each of their bellies when cold apathy teases them
from all sides.

You're a person who is personless
I could never consider all of you
You meant me and you said me
Included me in all these things, and I
am just so honored.

I don't think it's hopeless.

I don't think it's depressing, no
Not even when it is.

I think you meant me and you said me
For no reason, for one reason,
and for infinite reasons.

I love you, and no thing
could ever, ever change that.

A fool made of stone
Grows a glint in the eye
Grows a crack in the foot
Slowly run up his thigh

A world to digest.
Rootless interplay means
The mad eyeball now seen flicking about
Surveying its last meal with insane hunger

A disease with no origin and no cure

The infinite fool is dead.
From the ruins climbs new life,
Totally convinced of itself
Wasting love in so many shapes
For the same girl.

And what did you slip into the water?
I catch glimpses of Lillith in the trees
I'm jealous cause she's the only one
Not on her knees
I'm worried you're tainted
You know that I am
I know that you're lying
But I'm alive all the same

I don't want to cling
To something other than me--
If I lie to myself
At least I can see

I have learned to wax my apples,
A simpering salesman
Awaiting your final visit.

Business could always boom,
But I just hate waxing apples--
I leave them naked by the bushel.

There is a weak genesis that strings me along each day,
I am looking for the strong one
That will break the morning's ice with exercise
That will learn about good investments and bad ones
And give to the self the gift of renaissance,
It is free,
Oh why are you even holding back?
You might be a little nervous, but

tonight i will pray
that every single human being dies soon

end our misery

you
sitting in the sunlight at your kitchen table
it is around 3 or 4 o clock on a Saturday
cold January Saturday
drinking a chai tea latte
from the coffee shop down the street

your lover, the strong man
who whooshed right past me years ago
brings you a soft warm hug from behind
you smile, half-surprised
and the two of you are beautiful.

me
biking home in the snow
eyes locked into that horizon
blasting a stranger's romance into my ears
feet digging into sweet destiny
doing what i have to do
after i crash landed, crash landed down from you.

worrying that i'll never make it
part of me stuck always in the icy pit of jail
now when i get angry
i curse at the walls of my room
but i still believe, still believe.

lighting up a fretboard, trying to elicit a glow
that would sail me over the horizon
writing and writing and writing.

and we,
we will always be lovers.

even though now we are strangers.

Look around you
Other people have already lived their lives
And you are just watching them unfold
When their light touches your eyes
It is already old

Everything in the universe is like that,
All radiating out of your skull
But no it isn't--
Well, do you mean to be dead?
Or do you not consider yourself whole,

Interesting.

You are the only one alive,
You possess a great now
You are walking through a graveyard
You are making a sound.

You are telling me this
From your animate grave
I was living for something
Would that ever I save.

Love strikes a heart like lightning, and
Sometimes it isn't right
I felt its power striking
But I'm not paralyzed

I don't cringe at the thought of us together,
The spark inside your eye has been the chaos of the weather
But we can talk about the weather

We can talk about the weather

In, in in
Break the skin
The wave rolls on

Landing rhythm with hearts
and working muscles
Crying cutting-music
from the treasured vessels.

Landing in beds with those lying lovers
And tearing them apart like raw scabs
in, in in
break the skin

He holds himself with strong resolve
He turns his head across the universe
The wave rolls on

Break the skin in,
Rolls the wave on.
Give me bas reflief bossanova beat
In the dusky dawn.
Find the cord that pulls me apart
Find a stronger sinew in that deeper wire

Cut the cord, let me die
Bleed me into eternal life
Cut to harmonics
And erring air

Lovers lying,
Staring there.

There is nothing worth singing in my head
For now,
It is confounded
Blocked by crudeness
Percolating the next flash moment
They are waning,
I have noticed
For now
But the dynamics of life are mysterious
And I am a weird guy

Plagued by self interest
A resentment complex
Well my universe is autistic
With stimming stars, and

Can you go the distance
To realize self interest
Is quite all around us?
You're such an investment

But I do, I know the thing.
I must reach out from me
Narcissistic and mean
Yes I know that escape

But you swear you are saner
My own little world
My own little world
Don't show up on my threshold
With these things
I almost learned!

Unless you mean well.

People will touch them with profound love
For the strength of the species
For addition to tacit legend

The love of onus
Making raw the back
Gritting the teeth--
It gives you meaning
To water her garden
With the sweat of your brow

And charity's caress
Was the marvel of your eye--
And considering a passerby
We went along with brimming hearts
We tried to make
A work of art!

Kisses under fairy-tale skies,
I miss the velvet love from your lips
Everything was perfect then,
Rapunzel and her hair and hips.

A boy and a girl.

Sunshine on the beach.

Each memory is like a trinket of mine
You held me close in the summer sun

Everyone needs to let go sometimes
Surrounding love with fertile dirt.

What are you going to do, Poet?
Pen hot words in the open air?

The winds will carry them off,
My fortress will rumble on and on.

And what will you do, Scientist?
I am the one with the gun.

I will place a sanction on your head
If ever it won't feed my metal stomach.

Far off, in government buildings
They house the organs of a secret beast
And I am growing certain there is coordinated effort
To sterilize the love of people like me.

Here I contemplate the possibility of representatives
And I ponder their fates:
Does my hero meet untimely end
In these evil united states?

A sad, sad legacy left by poets
This is one for the groaning heap
They'll burn it, oh-- they'll burn it all
And how will I find sleep?

I don't know.

don't have time to think about what it is--
gotta head out that door and make that money.

You are so much lower than yourself
Impossible to solve,
Held together with tape.

What a waste of time,
With your broken wing
Forced to watch hallucinations of others winning big.

And you don't even try
Because you know the truth.

Did you think that skimpering was for scared little mice?
Did you think that shutting down was for children?
Did you think I'd never drop sub-zero and break up the ice,
Dust it off and aside?

what if the dusty taste of straw
could waft up the Appalachians and roll down
American highways
in a little red car?

what if the cute, expectant start! of a young dog
could be bundled up and tucked in the pocket,
and brought against the cheek,
for when times get rough?

what if there was an elixir to melt worlds (starting with the mind
then... trickling down to your heart)
and remind them to gaze in awe
at the fine twenty-something girl, sleek and blonde and so ****
long legs flashing, one from behind the other as she walks
coy little smile on her face
well i can only think of only two places in the world
that elixir exists, i've seen it

what if i saw you again?

what would i even *say...

humanitatis
infinitastis
vita... bella

painting must exist
before the brush fulfills the job

amity must exist
before she slobs and eats his ****

God is what you do, yes
Death and beauty, too

They couldn't quite decide that one
Does she lay, or does he do

it isn't clear within this bauble
but the best that i can think
is emptiness is pregnant
she's drunk
he drinks

and sipping at each other
a complication, not
'cause nothing started moving
and that's just how it got.

Drown, drown
Your mortal soul!
It sours the mind to think
Of a stone that sinks
Fast into the sea.

The stone
Is the famed black mark
On th' palm of pirates, burned
The rot of creation
The spoiled garden dying
And you have
No help.

Hunger is the vehicle of desolation,
And to think
You wanted this
Desecration

Therapy,
Drown in the drowning
Wake, every morning!

Yes my child
You are free
It was all free
Death, yes... death too
Is free

So there.
Have a death.