They devoured it,
Romping through city streets in esteemed cliques
Touting handheld devices and filming it
Their probosces twiddling for a taste of sweet, disappointing fame

My generation's appetite makes me think about all they want,
Not in terms of conscious thought but chemically what they want
Like society wants to fall apart, like the body wants to die

Because their desires can be so shallow

(In a deeper sense, what do we want?)

Or perhaps desire,
Perhaps LIFE is not so deep, because
Hippies and beats are made into silly time-wasters
Lost dreamers in the dust of trap artists
16-year-old business moguls and social media stars
Famous drug dealers
And turncoat social climbers

Because it feels good.

Shallow as a knife's edge, they cut through reality
Perhaps even taking into account the suffering (we are all the suffering after all)
But dismissing it with a cool suave.

I pause for vain guesses at the life of some destitute person
And consider how small are my efforts to help this mysterious soul.

A Rolex s'lecting heads
to roll
Don't you know he's just
Father time, and
Mother soul
Confounded codes
And Quantum foam

A froth that you think,
It could mean anything
And it can
But here are the rules
And
In elementary school
You were taught
Long from tight,
Learned to use a tool.

Here comes the purple people eater
Here comes you, either appetizing
Or purple

cup of tea, extra honey
another cigarette
bitter, languid days

gonna get a new job

I shrink at your memory
But need I shrink?
In my current state I'm like a worm
Reminiscing on days when I'd chew at leaves
Lush and verdant
Summer eves

Gorgeous girls, the worm remembers
My mandible all over them
Intricate, designed by God
The worm shall shrivel up
And die.

There's nothing you can do to make it right
All we ever could afford is a bleeding dream
And my mind is in abyssal depths tonight
With all the helpless light to keep me company

We're lost forever,
Secret death
You said we won
But I'm seeing red

Cause no one's gonna hear me when I'm screaming for an answer,
And I'm drowning at the bottom of the sea

Captain, you're insane
You've got a look in your eye
You've got a deathwish in your
Broken mind
You've got a world to unexplain

*******, lonely God
And with a hopeless nod
You're gonna write it off
So just **** your pride
And deconstruct your brain

I'm in a world of pain

Captain, you're insane.

There's nothing we can do to save you now
When you're petrified, you're a sinking stone
And I don't even know if it floats
Cause all these lonely boats are just sinking slow

Between the stars and into nothing
Emptiness is coming
Loosening the skin from my bones

Captain, you're insane
You've got a look in your eye
You've got a deathwish in your
Broken mind
You've got a world to unexplain

*******, lonely God
And with a hopeless nod
You're gonna write it off
So just **** your pride
And deconstruct your brain

I'm in a world of pain

Captain, you're insane.

Fever's setting in
I'm alone for all of time
Head is jutting out
Without a plan or a lifeline

Vessel of the world,
Navigation was a lie!
What am I to do
Without a plan for a lifeline?

I guess that I'll just wait around
And die

Captain, you're insane
You've got a look in your eye
You've got a deathwish in your
Broken mind
You've got a world to unexplain

*******, lonely God
And with a hopeless nod
You're gonna write it off
So just **** your pride
And deconstruct your brain

I'm in a world of pain

Captain, you're in

Captain, you're insane
You've got a look in your eye
You've got a demon in your
Open mind
You've got a world to unexplain

*******, lonely God
And with a hopeless nod
You're gonna write it off
So just **** your pride
And deconstruct your brain

I'm in a world of shame

Captain, you're insane.

Seated in your cortex
You are excused for a time
By molecules of destiny--

Hallelujah.

Mr. Crowley,
Wyrd and wonderful
Mr. Feynman
Precise, boisterous, and exquisite
***** Wonka,
Pay him a visit.

Because I've got a golden ticket.

Encased by the left and right,
Hanging down in particular symmetry
Operate that scintillating organism!
Humming with treasured melody

Thanks for your music,
and who knows why?
Good fortune is here,
But don't worry, darling

It will all be washed away.

sear this chemical into skin
the mask of death lets life begin
it's never really here at all
and never gone, so fear that fall

but push the spear beyond the flesh
what's gushing there?
you'd never guess!
a sea, a sea, a sea of blood

And all its fins and wings are good.

so anoint my head with viscous oil
suspended there, i'll toil slow
and sip at syrup atmosphere
so bittersweet my sugared fear

i'll count the blades of grass backyard
the sun will set--
we won't get far.

Carefully tend to your embers
Burning in the open atmosphere
Give fuel and form for solace
And cherish them above your fears,
And when we get together
We burn within our temples
And I fell in love
With the music that I heard from yo-ou.

Swollen emotion that bloats the soul
Flickering eyes, but they do take hold
From time to time
I feel sublime
But the key has grown warped and it does not fit right.

Grasping hands that wanted more
Yes, sometimes charm the cryptic door
From day to day
I swing and play
But it's become so complicated and I swear this is unethical.

People do not see the man
Lying in a hospital bed
On the edge of life
Just barely fight
In all the right ways, make the change

People think I'm angry, dumb
They would not understand that I've
Been bullied by the law since I was young.

Been bullied by the law since I was young.

Been bullied by the law since I was young.

Strange things happen in the quantum foam of the universe,
But perhaps the strangest is you.

Your weird suggestions of normalcy do not fill the universe's cryptic appetite.

The answer you provided meant strange symbols in the sky
So stay here, trip out for a while
And when you return...
What did you learn with your flitting eye?

I think focusing is a bad idea
Let the waves wash over you
Instead of focusing, try maximizing
I mean, what the hell
Does anything mean.

I sold my guitar,
I was a ship gone adrift
With several bright stars
I choked out the nebula.

I watched myself falling apart
With the sad emoji face
I went dumb, I went numb
And took a knife to my face

Unrecognizable.
A product of collision
With a cold hard world
And stupid decisions

Take me apart
Under the night sky
Show me what I mean,
Show me what is left.

All four of our hands evoke pathos.
All four of these walls are more easily seen in the morning,
Except the day tears leaked from my eyes.

But I didn't feel human,
At least not natural.

You didn't gently go like I wanted,
I made you give that baby tooth the last wrench it needed and now my brain feels all better baby,
No heart to argue against,
Full steel going off into the night.

And then we'll see smart-sounding, ambiguous lines resolve
One way or the other,
I suppose.

And it's not that you did anything
Wrong,
But exactly the opposite
That hurts, love.

sometimes i just write my feelings
i hope you don't think
that i think all of these
are good

Nociceptor X
Another bud is grown midstorm
Surrounding, mother's treachery
And blurry eyes escort the form
Excluded from debauchery

Debauchery in paradise
In lustful love you can take part
She's ever present in the dice
The dice that roll on with our hearts

Her rolling eyes would turn me green
If I could even taste the world!
I'd give my all and better, still
Than you could ever give that girl!

Your moral turns are kink and fetish.
The universe from my perspective
It's barely even lit to think
And never bought
A stroke of ink--

When I decide to write actual compositions... I wont be publishing on here. I love this site though. Sorry I am mostly output oriented xc

maybe what hurts the most is that you can't blame anyone when they recede--
the typical, "look, i don't know, but it's got nothing to do with me!"

i have friends encouraging me but i don't know if they realize what they're supporting
now this is my time to crave dissipation.

with don't really care
coming from chasms
he talks of purity,
he is not a fine specimen

he is a bad fisherman.
an undisciplined idiot,
a terrible poet
and a stargazer desperate.

with few points of brilliance,
i'm absentminded
out of tune and an awkward singer

a pathetic punk
giving you the *******.

with few points of brilliance
with few points of brilliance
i cling to what matters
with few points of brilliance

Two towers stand alone in the night
Towers of flesh bone and blood

The air was still and the night was dark
Slanted beams illuminated human faces

Brothers, we stand
And bits of the universe
Like strings or streamers between us

We spoke of those deep things
With two sets of ears that enjoy music

Two brains respond in kind
And voices that patter down streets

Leading up to farewell and departure
Parceled purpose carried home
Waiting for roles in the next adventure.

Clouds triumph over the little bay of macadam behind the shops,
Like the area behind a supermarket.
They parade on jubilantly

The sun is a medallion I am not allowed to wear
There is a house arrest bracelet on my ankle
And my bike is chained to a telephone pole.

I am on break, smoking one

My boss doesn't know about the house arrest bracelet,
I keep it concealed under loose denim,
My phone is blaring Back in Black.

I am rolling along the highway with a tribe of hooligans
I am playing a guitar solo on top of an old van,
Cutting up the clouds with my body as it screams along the highway

Cocktails in different locations,
Making out with felinish women behind stages.

I wonder if I'll ever make it there,
Or if I'll be left behind in the wake of smooth operators
Forced to stifle my groaning bones as she walks into the sun
(MY sun)
With him, hand in hand.

The embrace of the stars. It leaks

And the lake where it leaks to,

See it simmer up and take control.

Giving depth to beautiful things
By desecrating the table of God.

This is all i can think about.

This is all i can write about.

my ambivalent sweetheart,
don't shy from my love--
these veins run through all things.

i see you on the fruiting vines
a wild-haired woman
running down the street
to apologize

i see it in your homebound eyes,
she's made it just in time.

if you give me what i'm looking for
we'll die a happy death
and no one's words could ever change
our polished paradigm.

and rough in love was breath--
but if you're looking for a body
i will give you mine.

i will give you mine.
i will give you fine, fine jewelry
i'll make it from the sky.

and what do you mean you miss me?
i am right here, we're here
my lover, don't be shy.

The sun shines where mountain crags hold magnificent pine trees
Whose strong limbs hold wafting awns,
Home to many singing birds

The forest floor gives and cracks underfoot
The fresh and sharp scent--
From that glinting sap
In the morning sun

Life is bound on all sides by a crashing light
An impenetrable boundary forcing you to a finite sum
You are fine with this--
You will remember this trip, this place
Until your ends start to fray
You make no desperate offers to death
And require no souvenir
From this place

The Earth is gonna be our home
For a long time
We'll make sure of it
We love it
We don't want to be floating around
In some tin can
In outer space
We love our Earth
We love the trees
And the bears
And the fish
And the saigas
And all the beautiful sights we see from mountaintops

We are born of clear waters
And so shall we keep our minds,
Keep our government
Keep our Earth
In the palm of our hands
Because we really
Love it.

Her body, suspended in the air
All around, wearing the crown of technological advancement
A gift of her father's
Wearing something tight,
Something ****

The knowing fire in her eyes
The Olympic torch.

She is absolutely breathtaking,
With the Earth under her...

"What?"

She giggles.

You push off the wall and into her embrace
Skin slides on skin
In a way only zero G's can bring
(well, close to that, anyway)

She is a space *****
Her hair floats around when she lets it out
She is a gem in the sky
A dream in your eye
The space *****

God is dead and we are like maggots eating his body
Nowhere getting further
Bursting away from my eyes at the speed of light
Lament, lament
It lasts and decays
Nothing can stay, nothing can stay

Here we are, a morbid picture
Rosy for no reason
God is dead and we are like maggots
Hold up your reason.
Hold up your reason.
Lament, lament
It lasts and decays

VERSE 1.

Sli-
ther

INto my mind,
And SEE through-my eyes...
The BIG ger PIC-ture
Is a BIG surPRISE!

I NOticed you there,
I DON'T real-ly care
I THOUGHT you-should know
You were the only... one, out, HE-RE!!

(dramatic silence)

Don't cry

(more insts)

With BILLions of us
You're WILLing to trust
With SPILLing your guts
You think you're better off?

And WHEN you feel dead,
And ****** in the head
Keep LIVing through me
Vi-car-i-ous-LY-Y!

PRECHORUS.

So welcome tooo me!
We're living through ME!

CHORUS.

Woah, It's just another injection
Ohhh... We're here for your protection
Won't you please just shut
Your ******* trap?

Woah, I got some men in the lobby
Ohh-oh, don't need to bury your body
When we're six feet down,
No coming back.

VERSE 2.

There's NOwhere to start
Got ICE in my heart
It's NICE to make art
But I. don't. think. WE--

Billions of us,
You're killing for lust
There's billions of us
There's billions! There's BILLIONS!!
(?)

PRECHORUS 2.

mockingly, as in "Hang 'Em High"

And all ah-long, we wrote you songs
No dedicace, when you know you're wrong
You chemical, you little *****
You ****** us

YOU REALLY ****** US!!

CHORUS

Ohhh! It's just another injection
Ohhh... We're here for your protection
Won't you please just shut
Your ******* mouth?

Ohhh, I got a ******* hotel now
Ohhh, I think I'm going to hell now
And we're all just six feet un-der-GROUND!

Massive creaking noise

Loud whispering

BRIDGE.

You just turn around now,
And face it alone
Just turn around and leave us
And never come home

(You thought you had the answers
You thought you were the key
You'll never fix this,
But at least you'll be free)

LAST CHORUS

(?)

Perambulation's a grotesque crack on gravity--
Bending knees sending us sideways into turns and eddies..

Aloof, you say it's comical
With your gilded expression and clever slights of motion.

But here, I see you narrowing
Stuck in my awkward corner of Society
Pinned between dimensions in the grand scheme of things
I am the backside of the deal
The marriage of bone marrow
And death's razor
Bubbling around you,
All the lysing parasites and wasting nutrients
All the questioned purpose and reeling emotion
I will serve you greatly
Or else, slough the rind of flesh

There, I see you walking
Hooked on destination
Pretty Christmas bauble, seething
Jewel of my surprise.

old friend, rest your head on his shoulder
now time has made us older
and smoothed the scars we left each other.

old friend, running through so many cities
nervous nerves alight your pretty
eyes-- but when you settle down,
you coolly wear that golden crown.

how strange has the world made you?
i can tell you, it's cleaved my skull in two
and made me weary

but it has not yet broken my spirit.

old friend, where is your lover?
from the pictures my eyes have flitted over
in times my mind found need of memory
to set my soul against the Enemy

old friend, always running up and down
fire escapes-- we all have something to escape
and now it's all a mess again
so bat your eyes and say, "de rien"

would you believe i've gotten better?
by bitten tongue and earnest effort?

i hope that you are well,
you, where my love was broken in
you, where my song was listening,
but wrong

the world will hear it.

Oh, I...
I can't pretend I understand you
I run out of breath just thinking about
How far I let you slip, you slip
Away from me, well
Anything could happen.

I fall in love so dizzy
I break my heart for everyone to see
All the little pieces
See all these little pieces?

So if you dog-eared different pages

If you

Hold them in your hands,
While they don't burn
Admit it then, you love me
Oh, will we ever learn?

I was a great poet,
But everyone just scoffed at me
Only a few respected how hard i tried
To fix my life.

The law cut me down,
Did not care that i was trying hard
Brought such pain and misery to my life

But it was also great to see that people genuinely do care
And the world is trying to change for the better

Keep working on it,
Keep trying to perfect government
Don't be too lenient or too harsh
Work with societal and individual affect in mind

Be decisive and aware
Lay your ego to the side when necessary
Be realistic, stay educated...

And don't avoid doing things you'd like to do
Like i have been doing...

Foster something worth fostering
With the fullness of your heart and mind
Hold your tongue
And be kind
Yes
At all times.

This form has been
Played upon in different ways
And she seems to master all of them
On each disparate string

Steel strings stretched out
Over a hardwood box
Cause I can't get out
Of your heart-shaped box.

And the sunrise
Nauseates
You left your kitten in a state

I know that I'm not the answer
But I could be your moment
And every time it's so dear,
Soft flesh and blood
It leaves me thinking about love.

It happened again
They wet the wood and braced it strong
And she manufactures all of them
In each disparate song

My nerves stretched out
Under the big hard sun
With the animal herd
I'm just another son

And the sunset
Dinner plate
You keep your lover out of state

I know I'm not the one
But I can substitute
And each time it's so dear
Soft flesh and blood
Leaves me thinking about love

(Null)

I am the north
I am the south
I am the life that I don't know about
Maybe you're versed
Yeah, you've caught a wind
You owe it all to me
I'm your progenitor

I am the east
I am the west
I am the first, the last and second best
Blame it all on me
I've got it figured out
I'm your progenitor
Faith and your doubt

Abandoned by himself
He sits disheveled
But not as far as he can go
No street corner waits for him
Just walls that don't listen to troubled banter
Raw meat
Walking slumber
A pity cradler,
Self-identified and oft morose--

Crumpled papers.

Is he hiding large and cartoonish pair of scissors
Waiting for the right moment
Waiting for some grand debut?

How blind was the man who thrashed his dreams?
How wrong was the law to lock him away?

How many rocks does it take
To break
An electric sign
At a train station?

How sad should we be that the dreams decayed
Locked in a cell for days and days
Now days pass by on nerves too numb
And guitars gather dust
Past the 25th year

And drinks will make these pale worms clear
As potential dies,
Each moment sears

A tiny shell is traced by an even tinier ghost
Ringing free in foamy black
She runs along the convex structure
Moving like a drop of water
Running like a rivulet.

Sorrow thickens the atmosphere of my bedroom
I move slower these days.

Sixteen is on the other side of this wall
That world is so much brighter
There were butterflies and things
Imagination followed me everywhere
Because I was going to be something

Now everything is darker,
Things are less saturated with joy
Hard people everywhere look down on me
They got bigger, they gave me bruises
I wince
There is a deep **** in my head

My hero gained some experience...
He is quite the character.
But he doesn't move so often
The battlefield is in a thick haze.

Wounded, I stay in my room.

It took me a while to realize I was doing it,
That the soreness of my mind
Made it too hard to socialize.

It's too much to wait for my doom.

I send out pseudopods of effort
Baby steps, job applications, practicing guitar
Reading, learning new things

But each of these little legs is shaking
Shaking for fear of failure

Background checks ruin job opportunities
The law stands ready to interject with all it coldness
And has already done so much wrong to me,
But I know what they'll tell me if I say that.

Sure, people care, but no one can secure my future
And no one can secure my happiness

Like, don't worry too much, I always push myself
More than a survivor by nature
And I'll probably be really happy someday.

But... I never saw this coming.
I am wounded.
I just stay in my room.

have you ever sidled your way
into a low enough position
that the universe actually seems to strongly suggest that you **** yourself,
where you're so miserable that it'd hardly surprise the people around you if you did it?

that's where i am right now
but i'm eating a chicken cutlet sandwich

a fractured sphere, born of fractured mind
is intermittent like the sallow moon.
the space between action, bold and confused:

i take my place in the crumbling marble.

here and there i lift a stone
with music that is warped and warbled
with muscles that are fit, but leery
for all the cracks that lay beneath them.

we are going to the stars
cracked and addled, we will meet them.
finished here and finished there,
i can only hope to seek them.

You are flocks of wrinkled hospital gowns, flying to the junkyard
You are memories of good ***
You are cigarettes dropping from speeding cars
You are the wind, you hear no regrets

You are passed out in the back of dive bars
You move hordes and cities with words
You are chemicals mixing and seething
You were innocent, crushed by the law

You are paradox whirling and singing
You're a judge, that's the best you can do
You are a red wheelbarrow, a sick young girl, and a doctor who writes poems

You are dead to me, dead to me.
You are dead to me, dead.

the glow of an eye
is proportional to how strongly
she distracts you from life's *******

i've two seared in my mind...
but **** all the (evolutionary) scientists
they pile on fodder for an empty feeling i have.

Occupation is such a daunting task.
The ironclad God swears up and down
That he's not asking me to jump into a dragon's mouth.

Blame me, the thing with the experience
The tacit pact among the angels
To tear it down, tear it down.

You didn't write such scathing songs,
Between your teeth, it was about a girl.
She did you wrong, and did you wrong.
Can't even see her crooked steps.

Well it's the world that's crooked, not me
And I want to hear you out
In court of law,
But we are sitting in a dragon's maw,
And noticing retracted claws
Could be of use to scrape and brawl
And make our own way, rect and raw
And that's our job here, after all--
To make a stand so strong and tall!
Yet all we do is hem and haw
While manifesting every flaw,
And now I cast my eyes in awe
To see my fatal friend's been mauled
The sherpa of my love who hauled
Us both up Everest, hear my call!
You were the only thing I saw
The novel taste of ripe pawpaw
Who drop their fruit in early fall
...
So sitting in that dragon's jaw
My job would be to lay there, sprawled
Into the stomach, break and fall
But until then, I dream
And draw.

the ****** poems were written so antimatter could have its day.

i am an alternating current,
i let her go, she loves another man.

that is the natural way of things.

black holes tug vainly at my skies
me, i got away. i live in paradise

what if this was all one big grandiose delusion?
what if i had fun deluding myself?
what if i am vapor? and death,
and the universe cycles around
but i could never be everything
so i wrote some ****** poems.

maybe it was hard for god to say it was good--
maybe that was just a silly, random new word he made up
"good," he said
"that's what i'll call it."

--and perhaps he chuckles--

"like me,
but different."

maybe he had to stop kurt from singing
all in all is all we are
all in all is all we are...
just so he could forgive himself for an eternity or two
just so there'd be more than one long apology.

bodhicitta drags on a cigarette
bodhicitta sits slumped over in a bar corner and ****** on itself
bodhicitta forgot how to lie,
but there is still hope.

turn my dreams inside out before my eyes
puncture me and tell me it's not so easy
throw sand in my gears and leave me wondering
what is wrong with the world?

splintered open, i remembered
because the sun's river was broken there
my ideals melted and left disfigured
it was my job to provide form.

tell
me
the
whole
truth

and i'll try
to echo you

Billowing, billowing, billowing
Sipping wine and blood-siphoning nether
Don't you think I know what I could be?
To empty halls, to empty rooms
This is a declaration of insanity

I don't know what the best option is--
A frantic schizophrenic,
A gulp of wine and silent frenzy
Good poetry comes from serene oases of mind,
Mine is loud, loud and careening inside.

You don't get paid if you call in sick.
Don't complain about it.
You're the one wasting everyone's time!

On the eve of my commitment,
I stammered.
The sky caved in
But resolve stayed blue.

My shifting feet held perfect stance
With heaven howling at my dance
Until it took me in its maw,
My name was Matthew Michael Shaw.

I told you how I loved you dear,
My fractured darling, ear to ear
I swam into your broken heart
Was it I who broke you,
Tasting art?

Of course he has to write a poem
For his biological mom

All fractals and dancing crystals
Singing life across the world

They're spinning bravely on woodland trails,
All trilliums and violets and pink lady's slippers
Even invasive narcissus, obliged by the drops of morning dew

He's happy there,
And he thinks to himself:
I must have come
From somewhere...

She is a blazon of Love
Vibrant with galaxies, nebulae
And bioluminescence
The glow of her mind sprouting flowers and funny things

Deep in her heart,
She finds Love as a spring

You levitate that weight
Like a miracle child
Your voice cavorts like a springtime Clarinet
Your eyes are soft and meek
But they look out from a place
That's felt such pressure
And your small frame
It was never weak.

You're a working woman
And I love to watch you work,
Watch your gears all turn
Hear your words unfurl
They are clear
And they're cute

Your pain
Is spun with certain grace
You might not agree
But I love the taste
Of the salt on your skin
You're so human
And I'm always in awe
Of your face.