I liked your status
in 2007
I didn't know how ****** we were then

I can't fit the world in my head
Can't fit the world in my head
If I could, it would explode
And all the people would come back
And we'd just be here again

But don't... take myy word for it.

These days I wanna stay in bed, and
I just need a place to dissolve my head in

I can't fit the world in my head
Can't fit the world in my head
And so some things don't belong.
I think one of them's this song

And if you think you can mess with me, you're wrong.
I'm the only thing around for miles and miles.
And if some of them seem minor
Then I'm sure to make it major

So don't front you love it, **** my bones are strong.

Everything I used to want to learn broke
But they still let me ride the same wave.

So I guess you'd say I'm saved
But my Spanish ain't too great.
And I'm fading glory, some things don't add up.

I guess I should change my **** perspective
I guess that's how you get to heaven
But I'll never get back to 2007

I guess I could change my **** perspective
Hey isn't that how you get to heaven?
So I'm never dying, I'm staying here forever.

Looking at the event horizon,
I see derivatives.

Aspects i could only uphold for a brief section
To you, that was the whole time.

People who were physically beautiful their entire life,
Well how could they be and not me?
Because they are derivative,
And though I could always be invalidated on this point and called insane,
I believe I'm looking out
And seeing all reflections of myself,
Everything derivative.

People who could always sing,
People who were always sad,
I was always a baby, i always had to die.

All mixed aspects
Infinity lensed through infinity
You end up with products utterly dissimilar.

But they all have veins tied in to me
I am the heart of this entangled matter
But I always existed and I'm just a moment along that recurring timeline
Each moment fighting to be important
Or maybe some taking a submissive role
Or maybe some fighting and losing
Or maybe some are both
Or maybe some winning
Or maybe winning is losing
Or maybe there are always so many ways to look at a moment
Or maybe there is only one and that's this right now
But I see derivatives
These characters are all derivatives
All necessitated by my existence

But am I special
Or am I inert?

She's in labor,
You can tell.
This dream is set free by death
Because only through death can there be definition,
A terminus.

Pangs of fear,
Not work not hapless
But somewhere in between
Where they lay in the experience.

You can tell you're about to be born,
That it's on the other side
That it fills itself and spills and repeats like a swiveling bucket

That good enough for eternity is a terrible thing to be.

You found
A way into my heart
Stole a beat or two or maybe more
I've kinda lost track

Sent me reeling
I got lost inside my feelings
I'm not sure if they all made sense
But God, I can't stop looking back,

I guess, because I can't make ends of this
Fumbling my sentences
Professing things I might regret
But knowing the whole time

That ****, I gave you everything
But all you did was sentence me
And loving such a selfish person
Surely was my crime.

I hope you stay away forever,
Please consider our love severed
When the way you get your kicks
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try to stop me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you stay away forever, empty

You said
We'd do it for all time
Well if all of time is watching us
I'd hate to be you

I had a feeling
But I never would suspect that you
Would throw it all away like this
I will shut you out forever

And yeah, you can pretend it's fine
But your crooked head is built on lies
And I hope you do regret sometimes
The life that you have led

'Cause I regret the time I waste
Just processing the awful taste
You left as you were leaving
I was hoping! I was breath(ing.)

(I) hope you stay away forever,
Please consider our love severed
When the way you get your kicks
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try and stop me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you stay away forever, empty

Don't come looking
I have shifted
You won't find this burden lifted
You have done yourself in
Darling, you have done yourself in

Don't come looking
I feel different
All you do is take, I'm giving
All my love to someone else
All my love, all my love

(no inst, soft vox)

I hope you stay away forever,
Please consider our love severed
When the way you get your kicks
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try and stop me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you stay away forever, (empty)

(I) hope you stay away forever,
So now, consider this love severed
When the way you live your life
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try and find me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you just stay away forever, empty

Baby, empty, baby.... empty
Baby, empty, baby... empty

I am dreaming of
Collapse
The aimlessness
Of poetry

The hopeless reach
Of poems that
I'll never read.

What a ****** poem

You figured it out!

You don't want to enjoy it.

Because it feels wrong
That it should all be for me.

I like your style,

Go ahead and argue.

But you know that it's true.

Just give me something to do.

And I'm just glad to be alive with you.

Charmer,
Put on your best face.
That's what they see!
Our work is to the curve.

And stay far away
You are not,
You are
You
Y

I left you
On the operating table
But you said
That you understand

So if you wake up
And things don't seem to work right
Just know that I'm
Out drinking tonight

For the both of us

I saw that it was always gonna be some type of way

So i made no special effort to avoid the cycle
That nucleates and brings the rain

Puppeteers all vying for
Their own attention
Felt and buttons
Wearing all their threads apart

Giapetto made himself a pretty, wooden shelf
Can you imagine being forced to be yourself?

can't you tell by my eyes?
i want you.
let everything else fall aside,
let me inside you.

Being your mother isn't easy--
You never would believe me.
The branches of the trees that hold
That cradle, and my baby.

And I'm a man who has to know it
But won't speak up to try and show it
Because I have reservations
The truth is strange sometimes, we know that.

And so layers deep, careening
We start to understand the meaning
But we all have different pieces
And reject the things that hurt.

But in inherent association
We call our God a Satan
And the system can't exist
Without the flames of hell escaping.

But maybe the meaning is ultimately nothing.

I won this heart in a radio contest.
Something so beautiful, I should put it on display
It just falls apart, whatever the context
But it does it in this very certain way.

I thought that sounded nice,
But now I'm not so sure.
Sometimes things seem dark,
Like it's knocking on a door.
Sometimes, I give up
And sometimes I get scared.
Sometimes I erupt
But like a friend, you
Were always right there.

|||

Well, they came knocking on a Sunday
Some stolen property, some terrible mistake
They told me I got time
Well, isn't life sublime?
I wonder who I'm stealing from today.

I guess I'll never know,
I guess that we're not friends
I guess I'll hold my own
When I meet the bitter end
Sometimes we find hope,
And sometimes we just go
On to the end of...
A nightmare!
.

In a field somewhere your voice is smooth glass
I can trace with my finger and feel you sing
That thunder crashes all around
That lightning from celestial fingertips

And volcanic drums echo all around.

That's what my soul can be.

I want to gather up
My tangled ****** nerves,
Scoop them to their bony box
And wander somewhere far and wait

Wait for it to be over
Wait for my good looks to fade
I want to carry this monster away from you,
And seal away this pain.

I want to find a cave.

Where sputtering lips can sing a broken song, that maybe once could be. (You)
Where the idea is the thing that matters, and art need not be polished. (All)
Where paranoia and jealousy thud softly on rock and shadow (you)
Where the memory of your betrayal cannot find ears, and so I don't seek them
Like a bee seeks out nectar (all)

Red
You tear into me every day,
A blind maw tearing cartilage, muscle and bone

Red
Take your meal, you filthy ****
And leave me squirming in the dust

Red
My tendons snap
But you are deaf
And hungry

Red,
Like your gay champions
But you're a liar
How can they be better

Red
When you buried me
Still breathing
And spit in my eyes

Red

Red
I won't read books

Red
I hate your stupid song,
You passed right by my own

Red
You can go **** yourself
And leave me all alone.

stomach's pulling for a hole
mind, pulling for
everything, everything
going around the bath tub drain

The tide pushes my arms and legs outward
Reaching for it
The tide's name is
Something's Missing, Something Incomplete;
Need.

the external shimmers and reveals itself as you,
the needle-beak of a hummingbird makes plunges for nectar;
a middle-aged mess smokes cigar behind a gas station.

but i am the thing i'm missing.
chaos swims with the face's discolored
lumpy and insane
swollen and directionless
loverboy recycled around the sun again
scotch-taped dreams and jagged eyes.

open enough and you'll find the pearl
or stay at home
and you'll never know

girl

You were smooth like river rocks,
And time made you hard

Under my skin and all around me
The charm
Of your skeleton

I lived to drop you on my tongue
And hold you in my mouth

...

Traveling now, along the stretching slopes of your body
My body jerks around the bends

With want of skin like river rocks
A moment to defend.

You're a slippery devil--
When there's not enough,
You'll say I didn't try.

i'm sorry

Nuclear holocaust.
Empty houses.

Irradiated dust on the shelves.

People's silhouettes on the sidewalk.
No detectives.

"Sir?"

Then it all comes flooding back. We're still here. Right.

Is that any way to speak to your mother?

I scan the ground beef. Can haz. 2 peppers. Yep, can haz. An onion, American cheese. Mhm. I swipe my food stamps card. Kitty lives to see another day.

Enjoyment. Enjoy it enough. Hope you have a nice day! I hope Jesus has a nice day too.

But what if he doesn't? What if simply going forward draws the utmost hatred and ire? What if I tell you I can't change the story? At some junctures, you'd go into a rage. Or maybe scoff at me.

Just look at me, trying to excuse myself! I don't even know what's going to ha... ah, there's that gift again.

So I walk into paved paradise and there's the big yellow sun.

And there are rusted cars. One of them with its windows cracked. I peer inside and see they were reading a book by a really clever, super famous writer.

I guess I'm the most clever writer in the universe. But that doesn't change how ******* stupid I am. I start the only car in the known universe that still runs.

I'm passing empty swingsets. Lawn mowers in the front yard. The final reprieve of every restaurant, motel, and living room couch.

Vacancy, no vacancy. What's the difference?

Honk!

God, I wish you would stop doing that! Or no, I love it. The company of another person. The engineering of roads. The engineering of the horn. I take a second to apologize to you in my head and start thinking about Indian people honking at each other. When everyone was here.

My phone rings, and now I'm back to being upset. I wish you would just stop doing that. Take me off your list. I don't want any. You'll hate me. I won't enjoy it enough to say it was all worth it. I'm a predator seeking prey. You're allowed to just exist, but I'm not, and I understand why. I feel perverted when I try to interact with you. You have to let me in. If I think you're ugly I'm wrong. Just stop calling. The economy is terrible and the whole world is falling apart. Take me off your list. I'm the one calling you telling you to call me and it's just been causing problems.

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

...what was that?

I guess my mom's right, maybe I'm schizophrenic. But I didn't hear it. Jesus ******* christ man, read between the lines!

I don't read things. I don't find things.

Anyway, that was nothing. It was irrelevant. We have those. It's called living.

As I pull into our driveway I decide I regretted the whole holocaust thing and I fall back in love. Everything snaps back into place and all the cute corpuscles set in motion and the world and all its people come back to life. It's not as grotesque as I think it is, as long as I don't look inside myself for too long, as long as there is something else to distract myself from it.

You cuddle me and validate this little idea I have that I'm the same innocent boy I was years and years ago. That the bad things in the world aren't my fault. I write another ****** poem I don't care about and you like it once or twice and I won't bother to look at your profile because I've accepted I can't keep up with everything. That's just nature. Too prolific for its own good and always trying to spin that like it's some good deal. Oh trust me it is sometimes but what the hell, like...

I remember the mental clinic
In my teens and early twenties
You could call it the millenial clinic, too
Cause you know how we do

Check yourself in

I remember how I rammed my father's car
With the one he bought me
I remember being that disease
Chalking it all up to a cheat

I remember breaking things in anger
Breaking things in anger
Breaking things in anger
Train station night
Running over someone's car
Going back to sleep
Knowing I'm wrong

I remember the county jail
*****, terrifying
Stay away from me
I'm not the one you want
I can't sleep

I remember the sting of defeat

I think it's supposed to rain tomorrow.

Nobody really knows how this got here
Or what it means

You are the one observing,
Are you the one in control?

You better believe it's gonna rain tomorrow.

You are running the water cycle.

I'm sorry if thats too much for you to handle.

I promise we'll die, how about that?
But I'm scared to die.

I want to be a good person,
But what if that's selfish?
What if wanting to be a good person
Makes me a bad person?

I think it's gonna rain tomorrow.

I think
I think it's gonna rain.

On a street my mind's gone down before,
What moves inside the night's thick shade
That wandering minds would pass and miss,
That plays upon a whitened eye?

I found us on the other side,
Conspiring with a stolen Kiss
A street I had walked down before,
But nothing could prepare for this:

Two melting silhouettes that twist
And turn with such a burning bliss
That watching it, I followed suit
And reached out just to touch them

My lover, total ecstasy
Her friend--*******
Sexing her
Your long hair in between her legs
The night we set on fire

Two silhouettes against the moon
Are something to admire
Their bodies throwing light
Like all the clothes flung to the floor

Let's all do DMT and lose our minds
We all have to kiss the world goodbye
Sometime

But this will be an odd sort of french kiss,
Where your tongue is consciousness
And the infinite depth of the universe is her mouth

Leave your darling body behind,
That carnal carnival will go still far below you
And you'll be an astronaut on a distant planet
Where there are no clothes
To take off

Find the sweet magenta meaning of everything
Bite into it, feel the juice run down your chin
And just as soon return to Earth
And your kin

There's a fine line between a raised glass and a graveyard jig.
Can we call that class?
I guess we'll call it grace.

I know you'll hold me to all the days I ****** away
But that's your design
I only fall in place.

Now I will determine
Something crawling and squirming
To an empty, wretched
Joke of an alarming fate.

Some say greatness is something that you work for
It's what you burn for
Just to believe that you could make a difference
Desperate for something now to break for,
I'm mediocre
And I keep thinking, it's just not what we planned.

There's a fine line between a nice guy and a cannibal
I walk it so **** well
And it gets hard to tell

So hold me to the nightmares I can't erase
They weren't your design
If I ignore them maybe they'll just go away.

Now here comes the sequel,
In the end we're all equal
-Ibrium will cut me down to size
And weight.

Some say greatness is something that you work for
It's what you burn for
Just to believe that you could make a difference
Desperate for something now to break for,
I'm mediocre
And I keep thinking, it's just not what we planned.

Don't you think
You should do something?
You won't ever pull this off
Without some elbowgrease

Well I don't think
That I should take what's mine
Because it's yours.

Not keeping score,

Just keep the beat

Any way...........


Some say greatness is something that you work for
It's what you burn for
Just to believe that you could make a difference
Desperate for something now to break for,
I'm mediocre
And I keep thinking, it's just not what we planned.
amped up final chorus
Some say a life is just a journey
Now I'm returning
But I don't think I can call this home.
Aeneas, you're washed up and depressing
Just take the blessing
Carry the sun to where it sinks tomorrow

With Reverb:

(Greatness is something that you work for...
But I keep thinking it's just not what we planned)

Today is a day for
Finer sandpaper
The coarse grit of yesterday
Need no longer apply

So I swell with pride--
With humility quell
My swelling eyes.

You're sawdust in the sunset,
You grew from a faraway tree
Cut down by a stranger
Unknown, you grew to me.

And now this beauty
Is what I see.

They say god's house is made of
Many layers of the most expensive gemstones,
Well i am just happy to be working with wood.

My blistered ears can't take any more
Your searing love gave birth to a snarling animal
Snapping at your stupid wagging fingers.

From here, it seems like you gave it all to yourself
And you mostly left me out

But that still don't make you happy
As I work down the edges of my heart
Losing hope

Infected blood that cannot relate
I've grown a crust of apathy
Locked myself inside a cage

I don't paint on these metal bars
I like sliding in my filthy blood
And smashing my guitars.

No learning
But gripping familiar
A tight fist

Brahma's children see
A man stuck in his ways

But they have always been
Waiting to discover him

But-- I should let you be
I am running into problems out here

And it's like saying to a child
"One day your hairline will recede,
Then how will you feel!?"

But no learning
I listen to every old song
I am manifest familiar
I see the fake novelty in Lilith

It's alright, I forgive everything
That's the way we are

The Throne.

Give it to me.

Now. I want Everything.

I will **** all of you.

When a child's eyes bloom up to her mother,
I feel the season of your love.

Rich and robust
An exploding love
Spills from the scene and comes alive.

With plans to touch every heart.

She is the most meaningful thing--
Her mother's love will grow and sing
And stitch the world
A quilt of love

And will it find some homeless soul,
And patch for it a little hole?

That always made a difference--
That always took me home.

*******
I don't like you
I don't want you around

I'd rather be alone
I'd rather be alone

I want to saturate space with an impossible plasma
And rejuvenate you
I hate time for dragging us forward
Crippling your hearing
Dwindling us down

My love for you burns more intensely than all the fusion
Of all the stars in the universe
I may not always act like it but life is crazy
And it's true

And I hate that it feels like we could only love as much as we could,
That we were limited somehow

In a reversal of roles I want to protect you
And I fear that I am the one who is hurting you
Which is one of those things we could just never admit to each other
Because it's sort of not true anyway and the angles from which it is true feel evil,
Inimical.

I know that by my nature I cannot protect you.

Can i even do anything for you at all?

Or was that just a lie I told myself?

Kind of.
I'm not entirely aware of it.

I've passed through myself so many times,
I've convinced myself of my shape,
And that it's right.

It's my destiny.

(Woman)

My eyes are just mousetraps
Covered in sweat
Mouth full of cottonballs and teeth are cracked

A beautiful dame
A tres jolie femme

Stuck in the world,
My identity lysed
We go on living with organs in the sky

My guts stretched all around me like Saturn's rings

My jeans and shirt are stuffed full of straw
When I breathe, which way does it go?

Drown, drown
Your mortal soul!
It sours the mind to think
Of a stone that sinks
Fast into the sea.

The stone
Is the famed black mark
On th' palm of pirates, burned
The rot of creation
The spoiled garden dying
And you have
No help.

Hunger is the vehicle of desolation,
And to think
You wanted this
Desecration

Therapy,
Drown in the drowning
Wake, every morning!

Yes my child
You are free
It was all free
Death, yes... death too
Is free

So there.
Have a death.

I
hope
you
Know
that
I
am
the
one
who
opens
all
your
letters.

This
one­'s
in
second
Person.

everyone has a tongue like a serpent,
slipping and sliding over teeth
lying to you, and
lying to me.

but i won't let their flicks distract my eyes
because everyone has to hunt like a mongoose,
staying vigilant at all times.

To the data analyst,
The outlier is a fringe scenario,
Worth less than a slice of time.

But to the outlier
God is just as real as ever.

But I am not perfect,
I am present
And your derision isn't lofty
It comes from the pits
And my heart goes out to them
Like reflections of a snake in the mirror
Oh, you're trying so hard to fit in
And you but you don't

I know all about your struggle
I know you don't want to hurt anyone
I know you want a solution for all of this
Where we can all just be peaceful
Where i can be your friend

Stop trying, you can't write from the perspective of your enemy
You sound crazy
Take the pharmaceutical
You're unstable
Born with bad levels
So why would you ever drink libations?
Take the pharmaceutical
It's not that you're bad or wrong
It's like any other disease
Take the pharmaceutical
I understand what you think about yourself and the universe
But you're just a man
You are *****, and low
And men make me uncomfortable
You might think you're good but you're really just a predator, you creep
And you should be thankful I am holding back the floodgates because you really ARE evil
Don't doubt it
But I'm treating you with GRACE,
Have you read the texts
The texts that waited for you as you emerged from within a hospital
Oh we TRIED TO WARN YOU

We warned you to be good
We told you how to live, and did you listen?

So how did this precipitate?

And no I don't care if you really do have a valid perspective,
The truth is I need to protect myself and my family from you
Because you are cancer
And I can't help it, and you can't help it, and everything can't help it

You made bad choices,
And you knew it.

You let it in, so one day you'll accept the full onus of sin
You are so selfish, you are so bad, you are the worst and the lowest
And stop trying to write from the perspective of your allies,
You don't understand.

And it's not as if things all just folded in around you in some weird, creepy way
And it's not as if you complain too early every time
And anyway, you sound unstable so just take the pharmaceutical.

I bear witness
To the object and obstacle of the mind
"Eat it!"
It says to me

And if i do, i know you don't need it
We are eating just for pleasure
You know you are undoing my body

Cue the caricatures of the glutton
Food flying everywhere
And we are watching from our death
Like the ghost of Christmas past.

And if i don't, which happens less
Then I am holy and sacred
For not listening to that devil
Ignoring rumbles,
Staying steadfast.

See how ravenous you were,
Just taking it for granted
And eating, and eating,
How dare you,
You eater.

And the fact you will be judged
And being exposed to that fear by an automatic universe
But you think it must be for some reason
You must have done something wrong.

Vein
Silence
Thumping walls but the rhythm's canceled

Ignorance
Periphery
Awareness
A cracked eye

A coma

The rhythm was canceled

But not yet

Crest crest crest CREST crest cress  s s
Who knows if it happened
Thinking about it destroys the thought of thinking about it

So don't think about it

Take her hand, let's go
Don't hesitate, why?

It never happened
The rhythm's canceled
Heart knocking against itself
He's a bit of a pervert

I am not the devil
The devil is a ghost,
And me
I'm alive
Unless I'm not invited

I don't wanna know how crazy I am
I don't wanna walk this road to the end
I never want to see the cycle
I never want to see the cycle

I don't wanna know that there's nothing to know
But secret nonsense in a perverse show
I don't think I speak my language
I don't think I speak our language

Now I just dissolve
I left clues but there's nothing to solve
I think it's kinda cute how you dodge
My questions
I feel so arrested
I sit here and precipitate bombs

It is what it is
You swear it's my fault but I'm in
You want to isolate a slice of this kid
I'm changing, yeah no **** I'm changing
But this is what the universe did

I don't wanna find out how
I don't wanna find out how
I think you should be leaving now
I think you should be leaving now

The essence and the ether
Process yourself truly
Admit that you are evil
And swallow down that ego

Be scared of what you read,
Accept the poison sunshine
Tremble to the music
And cursed is this man

Who makes an enemy of Michael
and of Gabriel...

Whether you chose it or not
It doesn't matter
I know you are poison
And I will deal with you thusly

And of course we know
He always despairs long before he really ought to,

But is it really too early?
Is it?

This is everything,
And this is what it does

Choking on the concept of trying,
Trying to hide seems better
Than trying to shine

Wherever I am,
I cup my blood to the brim
What else could you give,
With constellations written into the night sky?

That is the seeming visage of neighborly vibration,
While invested here in Earth music
Sipping the deep with our eyes

Drunk human on heaven's lease,
Hold sanguine love like a drop on a gossamer string.
And concentrate the reality underneath.

I mean what I mean,
And I follow what I mean:

Building a home from my eye to the tip of my tongue,
Making taut the line
And arms as rafters to the spine,
Making sure my heart and taking good care of my mind,
Making love to Clarity all the time.

Tending to a garden with hands,
Hands that need washing
A garden I'll expand
And she opens and closes like a flower,
A lovely breath to breathe

Seeing red in our jagged edges
Throbbing maroons in our Moloch's slumber
I am in defiance

True charity pollutes this sorted wasteland
This is not what I want
I am in rebellion

"Strain to say you're sated,
Turn the day around with a smile!"
Yes but I
Heard my heart is hated
Need to bleed through to the other side.

Oh, these regrets of mine...
They can't last forever
I'm carving out things that would have to be.

She wanted love--
Love is a hug
From my sharp and shining teeth.

Visited hollows refract in the mind
Setting their waves with available light
And my various limbs find suitable places--
I can't tell you what this means.

And what I am protracts with time
I cannot change these things of mine
My various limbs find suitable places--
I make echos with each cavern.

I make echoes with each cavern,

I make echoes with each cavern.

I make echoes with each cavern,

I can't tell you what it means.

Don't brag, words are for the insecure
Bare your strength and weakness to the world in silence
People observe the prominent attributes
As you move across their world

It taints the schema in their minds
To have to boast at all

If you're lacking, give it slack
And sense out what is wrong
Look for ways to hone the skill
And build yourself up strong.

Before you opened up for me, I was settling down--
Guard up, hopes down, trying to carve a life.

Before you came around, I was sharpening my knife.

Your skin was so pretty in the rain. But you were so far away
Our words caressed and sexed in that summer's air, teasing possibility

When we met, you were a scintillating mystery.

Now you've spread petals up close to my pupils
The depth of your fortune, the breadth of that garden...

My guards never sought so direct a pardon!

Because you are the sweetest thing,
So befitting me.
And you've been a target of pain and misery,
But you've met it with strength.
And you've never been loved
The way that I'm loving
You.