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86 · Oct 2023
The Circuit
Sometimes Starr Oct 2023
You make it so bad
You make it so bad
You make it so bad
Stop acting like I shouldn't be upset
Stop acting like I shouldn't be upset
Stop acting like I shouldn't be upset
It's not my fault
It's not my fault
It's not my fault
It's always like this
It's always like this
It's always like this
I don't make my own decisions
I don't make my own decisions
I don't make my own decisions
Then who does
Then who does
Then who does
86 · Aug 2023
The Merry-Go-Round
Sometimes Starr Aug 2023
Everything is right with you
Everything is wrong with me
I don't know what you said
That made me believe

I am just a fallen child
****** hair fossilized
You always meant the worst for me
Things I was waiting to see

A cackling flame swallows up my belief
Then you curse the unbelievers
It's happening to me
Shoot him on sight
Don't take my greed
Don't swallow this pill,
I'll make you bleed
For me

For me...

I wanna have fun but I
Always feel guilty
I don't know why these flowers are
Always wilting
But I've seen worse and I'm
Thankful for
My bruises and cuts
And aches and sores, oh no

What have I done?

You better not say I'm the only one?

I'm in
Company with
All these demons
At least they all know how I always mean it

I know you know
Everything
You'll never go away
Just stop looking at me like (that)
..you know
Everything
I always meant the best
But I
Cracked open my head

I've never been to Chicago
I don't care
I don't want to hear your songs
Cause we're nothing and nowhere
And by any other name
You'd hurt just as much
I feel the weight of my shame,
I feel molested by your touch

I know you know
Everything
I'm missing some songs
But they never meant a thing
I know you know
Everything
You know I didn't mean it
Just let me go and deal with this
86 · Oct 2018
One With The Cause
Sometimes Starr Oct 2018
I'm in the senate
The legislation I pass
Becomes the law of the land
My nation is small
And held like sand

I'm the police
This law enforcement
Executed perfectly by me
Shapes the whole world
And breaks a disease.

And I am in the council of death,
The decisions I make
Cost good blood and breath
Behind closed doors
Behind my mind
There is a need to die,
Deep inside.
86 · Oct 2019
i apologize
Sometimes Starr Oct 2019
i'd like to apologize to anything i've ever said i loved,
for the more horrid form of suicide which i have committed,
and am committing right this very moment,
and that is letting yourself go.

now my love means something strange
and for each diluting moment it spends in purgatory,
it feels more half-assed.

can you tell when we're chilling and smoking after the party,
and my eyes stay furrowed the whole time,
never rising to a round and even conclusion?
i think god's got me on a string
and it's attached right between my eyes,
i'm always worried about something
trying not too list too hard to the side
trying to engaging,
fun.

i'll do better next time.
86 · Jul 2021
Thank you Lord
Sometimes Starr Jul 2021
My lord, my lord
I don't want to be king
A peasant, a peasant
A peasant I'll be!

I'll live in the swamp.
I'll live under a log
And try not to bother a soul.

But under my log
Would be very clean
And you'd be quite surprised
I have all I need!

To run my own kingdom
Of me, and just me
But lord, oh lord
I don't want to be king.

The stress of running
Everything
I judge to be too much for me
I'll help along your Majesty
But lord, oh lord
I don't want to be king.

Why run so much of the world through me?
I shan't be trusted, fuckey old me
I'm dumb, I'm crass, and just... **** me

Lord,
THANK YOU Lord
That I'm no king.
85 · Sep 2023
Mr. September
Sometimes Starr Sep 2023
Do you feel heavy,
Crossing in front of this car
With a black tee draped over aging muscles
Muscle wrapped around aging bones?

I've convinced myself that I'm light
That I'm young
That what I know deep down isn't eating me alive
That it's not that bad.

You lifted your eyes
They saw through the windshield
You saw my levity
And I'm sure I saw stress.

Well I thought the universe was caving me in that day
Well it must be getting us both
Because I saw the weight but it wasn't crushing you
It was making you glow

Yeah you looked worried but I know you're a strong man
I could tell by your eyes
I could tell by the beard.

But it was just another day,
Who knows what imbues the sunset
Who knows why I'm still holding on to hope?
85 · May 2019
"Love and Lost"
Sometimes Starr May 2019
Day's decline on the leaves,
Gilded hairs on the eaves
Of your eyes, facing west
How you break on the crest.

On the edge, on the edge
Streams wind to me
All the love that you gave
The mind as a haven.

Day declines all the leaves
Heavy eve breaking eyes
And the house falls apart,
It collapses my heart.

On the edge, oh the edge...!
Streams are winding from me
All the hurt that you sell...
The mind as a cell.
85 · Oct 2019
Untitled
Sometimes Starr Oct 2019
I don't get a rise,
Expressing drops of the chasm
They bead up inside us all
Sometimes watching one retching
These black bubbles
Will make us cry a couple more
And I think they collect in our heads
And time pushes them out one way or another,
With me or without me! Ha, with or without you, too.

What I'm saying is,
I dont get a rise out of making you do that,
Or maybe I do sometimes but I know it's sick.

Where does that kind of thing get a person anyway?

But no, for the most part I don't
Because it stunts the growth of anything good--
Gives me pause that you, too
Have to travel through this tube.
85 · Nov 2023
That shits gonna kill you
Sometimes Starr Nov 2023
In a way, this didn't make sense
My automatic writer
My anarchic disembodied chemist

How could they all be smarter than me?
I've seen you before
The ******* demi-urge

It feels so tenuous!
I need you to mean something.
WAIT--
As if you don't mean anything!

And something started to unravel in my head.

Yes, we know. That was where it started to end.

Do we rip it faster or pull it slower?
I guess it all just depends.

Necessarily, I would take my role and you, yours.

Necessarily, I would be something evil.

Necessarily, I might be said to require a savior.

Necessarily, sometimes I wouldn't find one.

Emergent phenomenon.

Glass house.

Tickled pink, then red, then black.

White people. Tan people. Black people. Red people.

Rainbow death man.

Accused of contrivance, no kid that's just bold reality.

Going to bed.
Forfeit.
Calling in sick.
Feels like we could have, should have, would have done more.
Sometimes Starr Nov 2018
What deeds will you turn today?

The intentional are strung on a web with all the animals
And there in their little cove they speak a dialect--
Making gestures of gentry
Having little rendesvous'es

I'll get up and turn a wheel at a chain restaurant,
That is my place for now
I am on probation
The world is not on probation
It is free to do what it wants,
Unlike me.

And soon I will be driving my own car.

And you, I will take your sad days
And turn them to a man
I will take your turn-aways
And do the best I can
I will take your anger
And bite my ******* tongue
And I won't let them send me to jail again
I can't be the only one
85 · Jun 2019
Up and Down
Sometimes Starr Jun 2019
A cascade from grace is visible across my striped visage
Buried beneath layers of flesh that wanted hope
The gray body piled in time
Constricting me,
Compounding itself.

My hopeful eye juts out, odd and lingam-like
Crazy hair wraps around my head and makes a question mark
A smile leads her to the exclamation point
Echoing, echoing, echoing through time
Of everything action stemming gravely from me.
85 · Nov 2019
Passive and Seething
Sometimes Starr Nov 2019
In my idle state
Evils percolate
Irritations at the waking
This is hell in the making

I bystand as serpents charge the throne
The subject who stood by
And no one knows why
But he froze

The flickering characters of my life
Flying up and down my halls of my sight
And now the tape is running faster
And now the world means less to me--
Objectively and subjectively.

Too fast, too fast
Operator's drool drips overhead
He wants to smash the silly toy
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
The universe is capable of weakness
Finding jealousy between the stars

Its center cannot stake its claim
I wish I would stop projecting better men
Sexier men
Men who can do things I will never do

It creates this ill effect.

I have all the cheat codes
But it ruined the whole game.

Now all I can do is step aside
And when you send a wave, I'll ride
And when I try too hard, you snide
Because I'm  encapsulated by something mathematical,
Which cannot try
And each iteration, a more indebted slave to that property
But time is a labyrinth and we shuffle outcomes to stay alive

Still the apparent spectrum seems to snide
Which makes sense.
85 · Jan 2019
Second Guessing
Sometimes Starr Jan 2019
That's what I see in a rose, anyway.
85 · Oct 2024
Septic clown
Sometimes Starr Oct 2024
Holy abstinence is the fallow sod that yields your strange crop
My dirt is leached and shallow
His benefits were reaped
He made a safe home inside a deep depression

From certain angles we look insane
From others we far exceed ourselves
Having things we can't have
Looking at each other through thick glass
The thick glass is us
We are the air
We are the light

You can't have teeth without cavities.

You can't have a tree without a bear.

And you can't have love without a septic clown
With its crooked head shoved up its glass
Sometimes Starr Jul 2019
dizzy boy falls all over the place everywhere he goes
pretty faced dizzy boy bug eyed dreamer
knocked off a couple IQ points
you can lose your mind and get it back
you can have a little renaissance

scans items for customers and engages in conversation
feeling like he lost time and missed opportunities
trying to figure out how he fits with his girlfriend
trying to figure out love

tearing off chunks of flesh and cursing at his reflection
throwing those chunks at him
they slide down the mirror with blood
he's disgusting

suckling pleasure's golden ****,
is he playing with poison?
i don't really think it's that bad.

i guess we'll see
i guess we'll see what time holds for our insane friend
his fiddling hands spark magic
his mind has some smooth curves
i guess we'll see
84 · Sep 2024
cheeky
Sometimes Starr Sep 2024
Computer gods walk all over me
My crooked dice yield ferrous sulfate
Just as soon as I feel you cursing my name, you embrace
But I feel confused now and I don't know you anymore

Nobody thinks they're Jesus here
Options sink to the bottom of the ocean
People sing songs they were always going to sing
I **** on the sour stone of jealousy and offer dim-witted approval

I am the one straddling it
There is nothing we can do
84 · Oct 2019
Rose Morose
Sometimes Starr Oct 2019
I've never been such a rose morose
I've never sang so low as this
These days
I wear my heart
On my stuttering wrist

No I don't cut anymore
I have other ways to bide my time...
Where the blood comes from is pretty pure
But where it goes is such a crime!
Emo Frank Sinatra
84 · Sep 2024
Manage Me, I'm a Mess
Sometimes Starr Sep 2024
Someone dissect me, I'm bored.

I need some valor to chase,
I'll be an equalizing force.

Yes, I'll do it for science
I hope you find out what's wrong.

I need a mission for myself
I need a place to belong!

Someone please write down all my sins

All this suffering,
We need to find where it begins.

Like when did he decide to let all that stuff in?
I didn't, it just happened, life is weird, I hope it wins.

Someone please put me in my place
This thing works just like clockwork
With a dutiful face
No, it don't always make sense, no
I don't always speak the language
But if we take it to the limit
I think we all can manage,

Manager?
Turn a page, I'm a book, half unread.
Sometimes Starr Jan 2020
slide past me
like the moon
that missed my tongue

like the knife
that slits my life
84 · Feb 2019
Untitled
Sometimes Starr Feb 2019
Most of these poems are like TV static
Echoes in my brain
Sometimes a crisp flower unfolds from within.
When I set out to write something of substance
Then you will know what I mean
84 · May 2024
Go Blame Someone
Sometimes Starr May 2024
What I'm already giving you!

What you want,
The lights dancing in your eyes
No, that was for me
Didn't they teach you not to be jealous?

You will choke on it
Oh you'll never learn

I do feel bad!
That's what I'm already giving you!

You don't know how good it is
Trust me you'll see one day
When the thing that's not me treats you so cruelly
I have stopped doing things
84 · Sep 2018
Half hearted half poem
Sometimes Starr Sep 2018
Try again, find the fountain
Drink up your might
Will the self to live

Or to leave-- exhale
Subsist
Follow the easy path of the drop along the string
Into death,
Fold.

But muster strength, coordinate those chemical ropes
Focus them hard
Hope against hope,
Whatever that meant.

But know
That Frostian wisdom
As fall comes to find us
And the night's shade reminds us
Oh, really anything could.

That no gold thing can stay
Nor anything else
Even holes in our minds
Are anything else
84 · Mar 2023
A Stab at Empathy
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
Simply because it was you,
My hairs raised
A clenched jaw and tightened fist against you

Simply because it was you,
I slung words.
Our spirits, opposite sides of a battlefield.

Simply because it was you,
I drove the dagger in.
You ruined the world
Poisoned the air in my lungs
And froze the blood in my veins
...But my hand still works.

I have been processed enough times to test my patience;
Now I know Patience
Is not the Answer

I have died for you again and again.
I never sate that greedy maw!

But you should learn to fear me,
Because I
Gave you all.

And I never saw this coming.
84 · Mar 2019
The Paleist
Sometimes Starr Mar 2019
Distraught and sputtering with anxiety,
He took an exacto knife to his life
And did the most wretched thing he could think:
A mathematical simplification.
A human unit, following straight lines at every scene
A processor module with receded feeling
Minimum art, maximum science
A paleist
A defense mode
Like a black hole whose deep core is a granule of resentment.
84 · May 2024
Untitled
Sometimes Starr May 2024
Does she see that her strangling vine is automatic?
Does she know that she has made a killer out of me?

Maybe I should become an apologetic vegan at the end of the world.

Or maybe I should simply enjoy the delicious taste of meat.

If you're not crying all the time you're a psychopath,
If you are all too dour then you need to lighten up.

But I am not some senseless thief as you'd decree,
I have always been sensitive to your feelings and your needs.

But run the numbers anyway!
We're living in bubble but we have to breathe

It begs the age old question:
If it's all God where does Satan come from?
Are you trying to say it's me?
Do you think I am blind to eventuality?
Of what you will do to me?

I am he who has been born from nowhere,
Never asked for any part of this.

IN CLOSING:

The things you've told me through song and in writings are intensely disturbing.
While it is better to be aware of things ahead of time, yes
I don't understand how you could blame me at all, then
If you already know how this story goes!?

I feel so weak, so dwarfed by revelation
I am always terrified
This is our totally blameless condition, I know how passionate you are that it's my choice however IT IS NOT
And I can't believe what we have become
83 · Oct 2019
my own world
Sometimes Starr Oct 2019
i am in the colors between the colors
luciferian bubbles spring from me
yes
i am effervescent in space
i am more than whole
i am a gathering of bowed hues

leck mich im arsch is playing in the background
i don't give a **** what you think about me
everything
is gonna be alright
83 · Feb 2019
Giving Just to Give
Sometimes Starr Feb 2019
What is giving just to give?
Is it the same color
As self-mutilation
Or talking to yourself
In the car?

I see the stone, I see the stone
It is still and it is silent
The delirious alpha, Jesus Christ
An echo in the cosmos, life

Was it given just to give?
And take, because my body's
Like a ***** drain.

The highest act of dominance
Is giving just to give
It leaves a target on your back
And the army wrought by fear
He lacks

The highest act of dominance
Is giving just to give
Not just because you have enough,
But just because
It is.
I love you, Kate
Sometimes Starr Oct 2019
You & I

A rolling of the eyes,
A rolling of the eyes.

We pass on in different ways,
Going down different streets
And making different marks
On different worlds.

Our skin made symphonies but our guts reacted
Constricted, bashed and bruised inside

You and I
Are rolling our eyes
Just looking for the best chance
To get inside.
There's m o r e to it
83 · Oct 2023
Giving birth
Sometimes Starr Oct 2023
I give birth to chemical boy
Halo swim in halogen water
Summer sun here, tree limb overhang there
Emergent halo, the world is my halo, whatever happens

Organic chemistry of the tree limb,
Physical reality of the sun
Tracing the same line
Turning like a kaleidoscope
Includes me swimming

No one hates me
Not even myself
Demons can't come here

Stick out my tongue at demons underwater
Thumbs in ears wiggling fingers
Demons are not people

Girl is a chemical
I don't want to think about it
"He will not like women"
Yes I will, I can evade the prophecy

A thought is a chemical too.

A cool animation is welling up in my head
I wipe it from my mind like a tear
You can't save me
I'm going somewhere terrible I can feel it

What puts nutrients in the soil?
Yes I know but never enough
And why situated there like that?
Everywhere I look I see it
Make a shark out of origami and drop it in the pool
It's chasing me around
Oh no

Sierra, Sierra, Sierra
Who is Sierra
When am I gonna die
Is it again? Or only once
What's wrong with my head

The nature of playing cards changed
I noticed that
But it's always the same
Pulling cards all day
Could you call it a stacked deck
And now the poem has written itself
Fireworks shoot out of my brain and I'm not as sad as I sound
We're in love and it's Sunday the first of October
83 · Sep 2024
He's Gonna Save Me
Sometimes Starr Sep 2024
He's gonna take me to
Outer space
Our moonwalk
Will be
What they talk about
For decades

He's gonna write
Such a captivating story
All the people will glow
They won't ever have to worry
If the blood spilled the right way
If potential was wasted
If we spawned several horrors
When everything tasted

He will set forth
Such wonderful music
No curse could affect
Based on the person who wrote it

He's gonna rescue me
You'll see, you'll see
He will

He's just waiting for the right time
Sometimes Starr Oct 2022
The sky, and I am falling
With the music of twisting wood
And august
Standing beside a poison lake

Falling, and September follows deer tracks,
Looking for itself,
And falling men build the world while everything is falling
Falling around the Sun,
Swinging around the Moon.

Then the world crashes through something called October,
A concert of gusting wind
And streams of discarded leaves blow into the purple lake:

Even poison is a part of nature--
The metal organs of machines cough up black smoke,
Crude spires are lifted into soft blue skies
While on the broad, but falling ground, a young stag stands beside.

See the herds of cars lined up,
Hastening bodies along their cosmic paths
And November crashes to the ground with a dull thud.
A chilling rain begins to fall
On the cold grass of Lenapehoking Pennsylvania.

Oh, those native bones can feel the cold rain seeping through the Earth.
Just like American eyes can watch objects of the world being hurled through through the sky,
With all the planes, pilots and passengers praying to Buzz Lightyear.

December hesitates to even start.
But it comes, with all its frost, and gathers human hearts.
Nested in the glow of houses, moored against gravity
They can forget about falling for a while.
83 · Nov 2019
darling, you know
Sometimes Starr Nov 2019
darling
you know
i don't care about these little things
i just couldn't see our love was so big
taking over the world
radiating over the crown of your heart
and into mine
your blood is pushing love
through the twisting sublime
and your medicine wafts over my skin
it flows straight into my ears with your voice
and finds each little nerve in my skin
and strums a single note of love
the car is getting hotter
there's fog on the window
we're drawing little hearts
and making out again
in the dark
82 · Feb 2018
just so everyone knows
Sometimes Starr Feb 2018
i do a lot of free writing and venting on here

this is not who i am as a poet

i have moments on here, but it's not my best

i've had some poems published and most publishers don't accept
previously published works

a lot of my stuff on here is sappy, trite, or just weird
i think it has value, but again, not my best

thanks for appreciating my work, such a great community to be a part of, so many talented writers, you guys are great <3

keep writing!
82 · Sep 2024
Wibberty Beww
Sometimes Starr Sep 2024
My eye fell into the abyss
Oh no
My hands followed them down
And found
A delicious cheesesteak,
American wit
I thought it was me
But it was just the most delicious cheesesteak
I f*ckin love cheesesteaks, man
82 · Oct 2018
Google
Sometimes Starr Oct 2018
Do you remember the songs i improvised
They could get impressive
Brilliant even

I forgot how it goes,
But at least someone heard it.
82 · Aug 2021
Ignorant and dying
Sometimes Starr Aug 2021
Spotting death
From clear above
But rotting flesh
Can still make love
Black and rank
Just add perfume
Give your thanks
Accept your doom

I am not
As cool as you
I am dead
Still getting through
82 · Jun 2023
That's Not What I Said.
Sometimes Starr Jun 2023
God can't be greater,
Forced to compete with himself.

A quantum God,
A limited God.

A God who turned into Satan.

A God who can't.

A God who's scared.

I'll never be greater,
I have to be me.
82 · Dec 2019
Don't forget!
82 · Jul 2019
death is not a flower
Sometimes Starr Jul 2019
a flower can't be black
but a prophet can be concrete
its disciple might be your back

or your ***

death is coming for all of us
but life is not
so touch all the right woman
in all the right places

for me,
that is how it seems

deeper draughts,
deeper goes some dream

reeling, spinning out from my hands and eyes
farther than i can throw some rock i picked up
and yet watching me from the bushes
in between the leaves

and under my fingernails

breathe into the open womb
really feel that breath leaving you
and glow, bead, along that musical string
concentrate. style yourself well

or let style leave you wild

i am not inside with you
i am apart, another thing
you are your only friend
with fingers inside other lives

that is like death, isn't it? forever,
being apart...
Sometimes Starr Jul 2019
I'm a funeral pyre,
Recess all day.

Your devil and advocate,
The only way.

I can't help my past
But that's all that I am to you--
That's all you are to me.

I'm old light,
Even by a little.

I'm bud light,
Aqua vitae.

It's lost on me,
If it's gained by you--
I'll take it back again.
Lil bleach reference
82 · Oct 2021
Travested Elemental
Sometimes Starr Oct 2021
Compelled into existence by his sorceress progenitor,
See the great Elemental.

Travested now,
His back, his shoulders, his head
Sloping toward the ground
82 · Apr 2024
An Incel Type of Energy
Sometimes Starr Apr 2024
Inside me, nature cannot satisfy itself
Manifesting an external terror
Insignificance
Look how easily I am *******!

Gee I wonder why our dynamic would play out like that

And now I am some lazy *******
Who doesn't want to work!
With all the cards stacked against me
(But I'm just looking at it wrong! Exactly!),
It's a wonder why the guy doesn't want to work!

I see what is happening here
Charge me with complacency
When you claim your want to see me satisfied!

I will not aim high,
When I know what we are.

So just leave me alone,
Let me settle out.
82 · Apr 2024
Piedras
Sometimes Starr Apr 2024
i see a rock
i see a rock
i see a rock
i see a rock
i see a rock
i see a rock
yes, but the land is different here

and it melted his heart,
from the day he began noticing

he became a detective of the earth
his passion for deducing
those deeper truths.

when he transcended the utilitarian,
he stumbled unintentionally on fortuitous prospects.

he sees through time
in the layers of the earth
and has become his own reason
for examination!

let's all celebrate the geologist
this time it was a man geologist and the earth as female,
but it could be any way you please :)

for Myron Cook, a Youtuber I've been following recently!
82 · Jun 2023
Melancholy Droop
Sometimes Starr Jun 2023
This is everything you'd to to hang on your thinnest shred of novelty
Can't help but think we're trading our dignity

Dignity *****.

Life *****.

I can't quite understand the exact way in which it's happening, but I can feel us dying.

It's a torrent of paradoxical energy
There's something wrong in paradise
There's a riot in heaven

Every concept is broken

Life could be awesome
But you are charged with agency,
That card they keep playing.

I swear, there's something strange about it.
Nope, I actually feel alive and I'm negating this actually right now!
Sometimes Starr Sep 2024
I may well be detritus,
The reflection of a pedestal
Inverted in the retinas.

Let me be, collected
Petals on the surface of a pond
Just like a person

The gusting breeze
Will flirt with me
Don't you know,
I tease my own
Existence?

I may feel the tension,
But let me be
Please
Petals on the surface of a pond
I'll dissolve
And come apart.
82 · Feb 2019
Hello
Sometimes Starr Feb 2019
Hello
Are you there
Where did your heart go?
82 · Jan 2020
Losing my mind here
Sometimes Starr Jan 2020
Kiss up to the sun
Give it back all your love
We were wild for a while
Then we gave back all our love

What's wrong with the system?
Nothing. It's on the way
Like a nice cut of steak
On the way from my plate
82 · Dec 2019
kill your little boy.
Sometimes Starr Dec 2019
angel,
wake me up again
get in my blood
and make me believe the way i did
when i was a kid

if you had a time lapse,
it'd hurt you in your soul to see
to see what has happened
what's happened to me

is it your fault or mine?
i don't want to fight
get in my blood and heal me now
or i'll **** YOUR LITTLE BOY
holding him hostageeeeee
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
Angels,
Always showing off.
It's so easy for them,
Afforded by universal law.

My life was the heaviest.
You seem so phony,
But I who am I to say?
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