Kiss up to the sun
Give it back all your love
We were wild for a while
Then we gave back all our love

What's wrong with the system?
Nothing. It's on the way
Like a nice cut of steak
On the way from my plate

presently a whirlwind of neuroses
tragic light thrown upon walls in the dark,
crazy light
stuttering existence flickers the madman through dark tunnels
the angels stare down their noses at him
because he fell from their eyes like a tear
doing doses in their arms until he melted to the floor like a puddle
he woke up a sewer rat
a sour man with addled mind and waving at an invisible swarm in front of him
pulling a girl's name from between his teeth
and sending texts to sir Jesus Christ,
baby i'm sorry i'm paranoid
what are you doing right now?

she is dying on the cross,
and your babble is sanctified you wrinkled poet.

so what's
he gonna
do
Now?

i guess i'll just pick
apart
the stars
and the planets
until mercy has been shown to love
and everything makes sense again.

touch me any way you will
just don't take my queen
she's sleeping there in the bed
my heart laid beside hers in the other room
enslaved to her whims in the infinite. stars,
reaching out to her from
across the universe--

she works hard.
to give life to me and to her
she pours her cup
--of blood--
into mine

i smile

i almost can't take it

i start
to come apart

god bless the ***** prayers of hotel rooms,
sanctified and cathartic,
in the face of the world they are pure,
unabashed heavens in the maelstrom of life
Jesus Christ and his aeternal wife
I assert that they might just be next to Nirvana
otherwise just a motley crew of individuals knocking on heaven's door with a knife...

everyone has a tongue like a serpent,
slipping and sliding over teeth
lying to you, and
lying to me.

but i won't let their flicks distract my eyes
because everyone has to hunt like a mongoose,
staying vigilant at all times.

There's a side of you that I don't see
Which terrifies me
Because something seems too clean

What secrets do you keep
Locked away in a box
Justified in your mind but held away from mine

I don't want to complicate the sun
But really, I'm alright
If you think that it's love
And we'll just carry on
I don't want to waste my time

******* stupid *****

a bad dream darling
these red-black tendrils and feral fangs
an impish hypersexual
wrapped twice tightly
with a crashlanded life

alright you have no money
but at least you can still **** me right ;)

i drift through the winter in a total haze
hibernation is in full effect
i hate thinking about the times
when you weren't my friend
so i sleep beneath my skin
and drive around
with a nimbus cloud
gathering

it takes a lot to **** my mind's kicking
throwing tantrums like the ones that split us
so i smoke my buzzing brain out
to get the honey underneath

but it sits there on the shelf,
i think that i should **** myself
then i swiped the mason jar onto the floor

a sticky mess indeed,
and what a shame
when you're so sweet
i can't stand myself
anymore

slide past me
like the moon
that missed my tongue

like the knife
that slits my life

i draw a circle for the blood moon
denaturing, lux in tow
peeling off from the TV static
i spent all day staring into

it still tastes like sugar but my tongue is cut and throbbing

the order of objects is important
5 candles, lit counter-clockwise
i sit in the center,
HIM

when will the little waves swallow up my vacant space
do i make a solid crest before the shore
or just melt into the sea
with all my dreams

HIM
you're twirling around
you bring the sun and daisies up
you two
the less blood i pump myself,
the more that just passes.
the less it's me--

HIM
the black flirts with the edges of my eyes
and like a winsome man, tries to cajole her into bed with him
her fingers start twisting up that tablecloth

at night we talk across balconies
and deface our holiest relics in my
little white church

****** things,
blasphemous things,
things no one ever says but us,
because we're so in love,
sipping at each other's necks
like a summer cocktail

a rough lover,
you always left me squealing
& anxious
i never felt quite right in your arms,
so what will i do?

all i want is an answer
all i get is HIM

and the whole thing is encircled by her
who laps away the poison
leaking from my head

she loves me so perfectly,
i say nothing about it
i keep whining and whining

waste it waste it waste it waste it
bash my stash against the wall
crash crash crash
i'm gonna waste it all down
smash smash smash
i'm gonna clown around til i'm a
pile of ash

this used to work--

do you ever wonder,
what is the experience of a damaged brain like?

it's very weird.
it all comes together,
but the sensation gets very strange.

you know something's off.

i used to be stronger,
i used to give a ****
i used to have a will to live
i used to feel that purpose,
just below the skin

now i'm digging deep
tearing off clumps of me
no, that was the wrong one
a mutilation mystery

o, slit my wilted wrists
get on with the rest
today won't please
so i'm waiting to go back

*******
you never existed

sear this chemical into skin
the mask of death lets life begin
it's never really here at all
and never gone, so fear that fall

but push the spear beyond the flesh
what's gushing there?
you'd never guess!
a sea, a sea, a sea of blood

And all its fins and wings are good.

so anoint my head with viscous oil
suspended there, i'll toil slow
and sip at syrup atmosphere
so bittersweet my sugared fear

i'll count the blades of grass backyard
the sun will set--
we won't get far.

A sour soup of chemicals
Makes life acidic, astringent
To the bilious mind of an addict.

The half-witted steps were stolen,
Stolen from the floorboards!
But not without a great moan--

They never asked to be involved in any of this.

I hate the sound
Of the little rushes of blood
That your heart sends up to your head

I hate the things you whisper into my jugular,
I'm right there, you know...
Some of us are listening.

I hate the place where it goes
And the thoughts it fills up
All disparate and hairy,
All tangled in Earth and Pluto and Mars.

But you might not get to light up like this again for an eternity!
Ha, what a joke.

As I watch your flesh rot in the sun,
I'm shaking my head
It's not mine
I never knew him
I used to love him but he gave up on me
And yes it hurts but that's why we ask
Are you or aren't you?
Will you or won't you?

I started at that question.
We both got excited.
But then I left the party and you started talking to another guy.
The next day you read that i'd died
The next month you cried
But now it's always June and July
I see your spring and raise you 9

The world meets my brain in acidic red
Puffy-eyed, childlike, wrong side of the bed
Swollen feet fumble for steps that seek only
To placate the mind for each baby bird moment

My golden track winds out to the sea
But it's empty
And I'm riding the much simpler bronze one
And not making it easy
Let this be our secret
We messed up, so quick
Pile on the dirt
And don't mark my grave

angel,
wake me up again
get in my blood
and make me believe the way i did
when i was a kid

if you had a time lapse,
it'd hurt you in your soul to see
to see what has happened
what's happened to me

is it your fault or mine?
i don't want to fight
get in my blood and heal me now
or i'll **** YOUR LITTLE BOY

i'm so lazy
i should help my fellow humans
i should help create a better world
but i was lazy
i stood by and let things get worse.

im tired already
i cant initiate things well
i shat all over myself
i feel
it's time
to go back to bed

A tiny shell is traced by an even tinier ghost
Ringing free in foamy black
She runs along the convex structure
Moving like a drop of water
Running like a rivulet.

if you're anything like me,
please,
do us all a favor and
calm the **** down

about ****. about everything,
just in general.

you need to calm down.

chill out. idk. something

Just enjoy life.

Miss k8
Is driving
Her red car

she writes down the formulas of my dreams
when i sleep
and does chemistry experiments at home--
illegal stuff, stuff that could get her in big trouble

but she manufactures drugs
and puts them on my tongue
just to change the color of my sun

bizarre
dedicated to the cause
a team player
coming through at times like dynamite
striking lightning into the hearts of demons
masturbatory and inspiring
the collective soul, the self dividing
come find solace in my broken heart
i have installed the most spectacular
stained-glass windows

you are the era and the time
names carved in trees of flesh
works of art as if made by an insane savant
taped around
half finished plots
all on the ground
crumpled up
and beaten down

i am a twisted failure
a breathing bleeding heaving wreck
and i've got another name
carved in my flesh

you are the era and a stubborn donor of love
i've been like lonely deserts
you plant your flowers in my toxicity,
scream.

shadows slipping over one another on the sea floor
how much of the sunlight do we use
and what is abuse?

sip my brain like a teacup
i'll throw around your veins like streamers
and we'll collapse all the same into bed
my brain in my head
and your veins in your skin

how can you do this?
*** is the reason we stay
salvation just a stone's throw away
how can you do this?
and how!

do you feel it, though?
your faith in someone's kindness-- it's chemical
it's tied to a biological mechanism that's been hammered out by time
a pattern
the human genome has in general identified certain actions that help promote itself
or, that keep it in its current motion

it isn't just that thought anymore.
that thought has unexplored context for most of us
most of us don't explore the depths present there

so, given that stopping there is not always the best option for the human--
what is it about that response to seeing another's kindness that may be too shallow?
are you perhaps biased in some way?
have you considered the negative aspects of it?
we have the math and we have the science
now we should arm ourselves with it.

you thought it was tailored,
that was part of being human.

when you died you saw the Presser
the pressure we call satan
with flaming ropes around all of humanity,
all of it became his.

and you saw this happen

when you died.

you thought it was a close call,
but no.
all of that reigned in for particular form
for a particular story,
there was always so much more.

THERE WAS ALWAYS SO MUCH MORE
the space held by the ropes gets smaller
you're almost insulted

and yet

it all came flooding in
to your life
it stopped there for a while
just to play a simple melody
you might look forward and think it's petty--
but look back and see it ripple

but no, child
let go of that pressure now
give yourself over
to the other side

He's got
Some things to say
About me

I'm sure
The *** is great
That you'd be fine
Without me

But you brought that art from the other room
And there was a tear
When you set it gently in the wastebin in this one

I saw the shadow man
Sitting across from
The twinkle in your eye

Never apologize to a shadow man,
Don't send your love to the creaking depths of unknown places
Or don't heed my advice
And decide for yourself
Is this bravery, or ignorance

...Or maybe something else?

darling
you know
i don't care about these little things
i just couldn't see our love was so big
taking over the world
radiating over the crown of your heart
and into mine
your blood is pushing love
through the twisting sublime
and your medicine wafts over my skin
it flows straight into my ears with your voice
and finds each little nerve in my skin
and strums a single note of love
the car is getting hotter
there's fog on the window
we're drawing little hearts
and making out again
in the dark

i'm sorry

that's a pretty little thing that you've got right there,
that's a pretty little thing, would you care to share?
would you care? would you care?

/

sometimes, when the sun is going down
i can taste it--
i can taste the taste of leaving.

and sometimes when i'm down
i can't steal it
and i taste the taste of losing.

//

it's always getting late
in our little city made of glass.
a wish on a wing,
if only it didn't mean so much.

///

we make more and we break more
we build a city, then we take more
i run with you
who's the **** **?
she's not a friend to me,
she's just a stranger!

we have *** then we get dressed
we get born then we meet death
you left a really, really big mess
you're not a friend to me,
you're just a stranger.

/

sometimes, when my head is spinning
i just question
i just question the whole thing

because sometimes, for all we're given
i just hate it
i just really hate the whole thing

//

it's always getting late
in our little city made of glass.
a wish on a wing,
if only it didn't mean so much.

///

we make more and we break more
we build a city, then we take more
i **** witchu,
who's the **** *****?
she's not a friend to me,
she's just a stranger!

we have *** then we get dressed
we get born then we meet death
you left a really, really big mess
you're not a friend to me,
you're just a stranger.

////

you're just a stranger.
when the world feels cold
and my help's not with me.
check my sanity,
am i even listening?

don't get me wrong,
i've got a mind for love
but i'm staring long
'cause it's not always enough.

(for everybody!)

and sometimes
i start coming apart
and i feel so strange.

so strange

///

we make more and we break more
we build a city, then we take more
i run with you
who's the **** **?
she's not a friend to me,
she's just a stranger!

we have *** then we get dressed
we get born then we meet death
you left a really, really big mess
you're not a friend to me,
you're just a stranger.

I dreamt up resentments,
A cubling choking on milk.

I was the least deserving of constellation,
But you hung me from a hook in your night sky anyway
Your fingers stretched out
To cross the divide
Caressed my face with bated breath

I was surprised to be treated that way
I am peeling from myself
Becoming a series of dead ends taped together at the heart,
And that tape has been wet and dry and told it isn't tape

But oh what does the tape care anyway
You're right
It isn't tape anymore,
So I'll **** the judge
Light up another cigarette.

Your fingers are still touching my face

And what did you slip into the water?
I catch glimpses of Lillith in the trees
I'm jealous cause she's the only one
Not on her knees
I'm worried you're tainted
You know that I am
I know that you're lying
But I'm alive all the same

I don't want to cling
To something other than me--
If I lie to myself
At least I can see

it would seem
i've lost
the tempo
there, unhinged
behind my eyes

some years ago
it came undone
and ever since,
i'm telling lies

maybe you've noticed
the patterns of my speech
the tossed and fumbled looks
the talking out of turn
the longer way i took

sometimes i get a feeling
consistent with my youth
just tinged a slightly different hue--
then, i can live with truth.

but brave into the cut i go
for gracelessness awaits me there
and i pick out tiny crystals
from a lazy haze solution

it's too cold inside,
outside,
so i stuff some food
to keep a warm spot
for good measure

i keep a candle lit, like it's whatever.

crossfaded crucifix
i can't be a loser if
i keep bleeding blue

and she wants a sip
she wants a trip
to the *******
moon

//

i'm losing faith
yes,
i'm slipping away
as i slather these substances
tripping all over you

these muted tones
just turn to stone
when they reach my ******* center.

your muted tones
just turn to stone
when they touch my ******* center.

i guess one day i'll get better.
i guess one day i'll get better

these muted tones
just turn to stone
when they reach my ******* center.

she creeps an icy finger up under my jaw to remind me
her hand clamps down and twists my head
forcing me to face it

grotesquely
her body twists and and out of mine
her dress flows around everywhere
the folds of fabric fall down and become the sky
you know what i mean

i wish she'd just suffocate me all at once
not slowly in a stupor
it's an insult to the kid

i can pull out sun wafers and pass them around
it doesn't matter
this crazy cadaver hit a hard truth deep down
it's gonna ring true for the rest of my time here

In my idle state
Evils percolate
Irritations at the waking
This is hell in the making

I bystand as serpents charge the throne
The subject who stood by
And no one knows why
But he froze

The flickering characters of my life
Flying up and down my halls of my sight
And now the tape is running faster
And now the world means less to me--
Objectively and subjectively.

Too fast, too fast
Operator's drool drips overhead
He wants to smash the silly toy

don't have time to think about what it is--
gotta head out that door and make that money.

This form has been
Played upon in different ways
And she seems to master all of them
On each disparate string

Steel strings stretched out
Over a hardwood box
Cause I can't get out
Of your heart-shaped box.

And the sunrise
Nauseates
You left your kitten in a state

I know that I'm not the answer
But I could be your moment
And every time it's so dear,
Soft flesh and blood
It leaves me thinking about love.

It happened again
They wet the wood and braced it strong
And she manufactures all of them
In each disparate song

My nerves stretched out
Under the big hard sun
With the animal herd
I'm just another son

And the sunset
Dinner plate
You keep your lover out of state

I know I'm not the one
But I can substitute
And each time it's so dear
Soft flesh and blood
Leaves me thinking about love