Spun rocks out of gas
And slung through the sky
You and I
Just particles in a cosmic dance

What a chance,
What a mystery
That turns on our eyes,
Rhodopsin receptors,
Take off your pants

You harmonic chamber of animus
With resonance that is infinite
Fill up my cup with your love
Let me drink it in well-severed kisses

They are sharp points of the softest element
Raindrops of human elegance
Falling from heaven
Landing on the fields and the fires of my heart
Making it grow,
Making it hssssss.

You, the return of Noah's dove,
Me, looking for a place I could chill
You found my finger and gave me chills
It can be hard to find love in the storm of my skull
But to find a lover like you,
Love itself would ****.

Sometimes I pretend I am the essence of all that's good to be,
One with this work of art we breathe
And I look down through the clouds
From the moon,
And through them watch myself struggle to find sleep.

I watch the artist struggle there,
Swatching shades behind eyelids
And turning time for me.

I watch a seed in the soil
Work its only way
To me.

I see the broken part of you,
Which is like a shattered glass
Spilling black blood between everything
That spills into the night sky.

You don't have to pretend--
But I think I was always
Somewhere between.

Sometimes I pretend I am the essence of all that's good to be,
One with this work of art we breathe
And I look down through the clouds
From the moon,
And through them watch myself struggle to find sleep.

I watch the artist struggle there,
Swatching shades behind eyelids
And turning time for me.

I watch a seed in the soil
Work its only way
To me.

I see the broken part of you,
Which is like a shattered heaven
Spilling black blood between everything
That spills into the night sky.

But I guess I was always
Somewhere between.

Oh look,
There's more than meets the eye.

The ****** is the edge of the universe
The action is one and the same
The same is nothing
My name is Matthew.

Element is a delusion,
But you are still more than a temporary smear,
Because you are even greater than time
You are anything, here are your pooled assets
And yet you are nothing.

It just happens to be this way
Hanging like some sort of insane puzzle,
Recognize me as a great poet
Feed my ego.

I look to stronger people in my life
For better ways to hold myself.

I'm a spoiled rotten whiner with a melodramatic tongue,
Trying to snare my sloppy thoughts in lazily spun nets and throw them on the fire inside me.

You could read it on my face sometimes and catch it in my speech,
If you were really looking for it,
When I pause and my engine shakes briefly
Trying to find a smoother if not happier track.

These stronger people
They have tools I can study and take to my shop
Make blueprints and integrate into my machinery.
I want to be a better human,
Smile in the face of adversity
Make myself efficient and spur others on their way to heaven
And contain my personal catastrophe.
I don't want to atrophy.

Contradicting veins.

I cast my eyes for demons so many times,
They hardened
Now haunted by pareidolic images
And drawn out, false conclusions

Faces in the forest,
In the bricks and in the rain.

Or maybe sometimes, it just happens.

And where emotion used to rebel,
I stop there to consider.
That maybe I'm a fool for it
I see a bigger picture

But something here was always right
I won't grow old and bitter
I'll trudge through with a battered mind
Til I cannot any longer

Lift me out
Of mundane fog,
Piercing swollen sinuses
And sparking tepid heart.

Dry the mud inside my eye
And make my world pristine,
Caffeine.

Waking to a lazy swamp
I'm reaching for my buttress drug
To stir in me a robust cup
That steams and runneth over,

Up!

I mean to match the rising sun
That grew the plant and brew of bean
That feeds the hands that worked the field
That makes my world pristine,
Caffeine.

The man demands the hour hand
With countenance too mean
I could not make it through these days
Without my love, caffeine.

Shuffles awkwardly, buffeted by headlights
The highway won't slow down
It's break time and he is getting coffee
The leather jacket tucks in his body heat from the cold
The stony pit of his stomach wrapped in doubled skin

She is an unknown
Professes her love to him
And he is just uneasy
He wears it in his eyes
The mind running through scenes and places it shouldn't
He is like a ***** cell unsure of *******
Shaking too much for love's vacation

Instead it makes him tremble,

Maybe I'm better off alone.

Won't you stay
Out of harm's way?
With each little cell pointing north
They seem to cloak you in an aura
Dress you in a song
That's celebrating life

Carry the dear thing forward
And take care of your self and kind
And leave maps and symbols behind
To keep on the love wave

Stay out
Of harm's way
Please, unless you're evil
And you're about to **** us all
But that just speaks to the same point anyway
Anyway
Stay safe
And keep out
Of harm's way

What deeds will you turn today?

The intentional are strung on a web with all the animals
And there in their little cove they speak a dialect--
Making gestures of gentry
Having little rendesvous'es

I'll get up and turn a wheel at a chain restaurant,
That is my place for now
I am on probation
The world is not on probation
It is free to do what it wants,
Unlike me.

And soon I will be driving my own car.

And you, I will take your sad days
And turn them to a man
I will take your turn-aways
And do the best I can
I will take your anger
And bite my ******* tongue
And I won't let them send me to jail again
I can't be the only one

The Earth is gonna be our home
For a long time
We'll make sure of it
We love it
We don't want to be floating around
In some tin can
In outer space
We love our Earth
We love the trees
And the bears
And the fish
And the saigas
And all the beautiful sights we see from mountaintops

We are born of clear waters
And so shall we keep our minds,
Keep our government
Keep our Earth
In the palm of our hands
Because we really
Love it.

Liquid sunshine, I like that
Keep it moving just like that
Take the rain and give it breath
Take that pain and give it death

When you wash over my head,
I feel the warmth of feeling cold.
When you pull me through the world,
I feel the youth in getting old.

And I'm tired, tossed and told.

But at every turn my life was bold
At every insult I was sold
I rang,
"It's priceless,
More than gold."

See I forgot my Midas touch
And money never mattered much
It's like the feeling of the rain
Yes, just to feel
Is something gained.

The grail has been left on the ***** bedroom floor,
You stumble around the earth looking for any answer
A cigarette, keep the cellophane
Used as a baggie to hold your cancer

The gift is discarded with the body
The trash has been building in your room for years
You never cared anyway,
You swallow back those tears

The world is cold and stark
You want to blend in with that dark
Ride the baffling wind until you're caught on a chain-link fence
In some park.

Don't you ever doubt my love--
We are made of the same **** stuff
It's for those like you I fight
Against the empty quantm'of night

The world roils with lingam and yoni,
Breaking free of the mold and finding rebirth
Cut from the same stone we carry on
Getting weirder and weirder with every dawn.

Reaching deeper into the cookie jar we aged
Look into the mirror, see the old man's face
Do you ever feel this strangest feeling
That I feel when I stare at the ceiling?

When I question the aim of the tool
Which turns us all to drop-dead fools
When all we did was touch and go
And deeper still, we never know.

The space between us is filled with pestilent noise that scrapes and raps at my ear drums and it's maddening.
I only ever get a chance to tear it away every now and then.
To the love,
To the beating heart of the universe,
Where I put my ear to listen and it soothes my body through like a warm river.

I want to tear the bubbling black growth from your life
It lies there next to us,
Next to the soothing river I can hear it hissing and cracking.

I know you're in pain.

I love you,
And I just want to show you that in every thing I do.
Stay strong.
Don't let the infection win.
Because all I want to do is love my world as she spins.

I'm really not
Anything special
I have smart or sharp edges
But that's just a shape
We're all just shapes
We all live and die
Dream go unrealized
Every day,
I decay.
Oh well.

I felt like remnants after they sent me to jail
But that feeling was fated
My eyes seared hotter once
More to the point
I'm not washed up,
Just disfigured
My new lackadaisical tumor
Different
An unexpected battle

Which is exciting,
If only I spun music to crowds
If only I used my edge to really touch human culture
But now it's rusting slowly
So sharpen this tool
And I do it daily.

I felt like remnants after jail
My body aches, and youth has sailed
I want

The illusion is that I toil and turn,
When in reality I am like clay in a hand
And I'm like a vampire toy
Turning around in my mirrored reflection
This is the place where I toss and turn
This is the place where my nightmares come from
Why I want to live and leak like a seive

I toss and turn in the universe
Like backwards motion
Never having a real choice
You're meeting me at all these different points
From an everywhere that is the only nowhere,
From an only that is deconstruction.

Front, back, this side. That.
Circumstances are set
It's something that you need to feel
So feel it well,
Sense the world.

You levitate that weight
Like a miracle child
Your voice cavorts like a springtime Clarinet
Your eyes are soft and meek
But they look out from a place
That's felt such pressure
And your small frame
It was never weak.

You're a working woman
And I love to watch you work,
Watch your gears all turn
Hear your words unfurl
They are clear
And they're cute

Your pain
Is spun with certain grace
You might not agree
But I love the taste
Of the salt on your skin
You're so human
And I'm always in awe
Of your face.

I want to gather up
My tangled ****** nerves,
Scoop them to their bony box
And wander somewhere far and wait

Wait for it to be over
Wait for my good looks to fade
I want to carry this monster away from you,
And seal away this pain.

I want to find a cave.

Where sputtering lips can sing a broken song, that maybe once could be. (You)
Where the idea is the thing that matters, and art need not be polished. (All)
Where paranoia and jealousy thud softly on rock and shadow (you)
Where the memory of your betrayal cannot find ears, and so I don't seek them
Like a bee seeks out nectar (all)

I am in a mental prison
I am defunct
The vehicle's holes
The wind roars in them

I am just an honest *******
I am ******
I missed my goals
But I'll keep trying

Each minute detail,
Slipping through the hands of god
Nature running out herself
Out into the great beyond.

I could never tell a lie,
Only spread a shallow truth
I could travel to the sky
Lifted on a holy tooth

But it's hard to scale--
It takes breath and blood
And that elusive summit
For all this mud!

And I may only ever reach its base.

But sink into the sky it did
And swallowed everything
I'm a man as sure as Mud
....

Would you like an extra helping of slaughtered pig?
The gavel smacks differently every time
As lips smack differently,
And hearts beat unevenly

They are like those arcade games that push coins over the edge,
All beating, all grotesque and slovenly
Because science had to bleed into an art
So ignorance and anarchy could rule our minds

Bleeding and beating at random, greasy with blood
That is exactly how you'd like it
The sting of tears makes whole the meat of laughter
The incessant wrong and the pervading light
Empty space, quantum night
Sunrise come, make it right

And disappear into the void

My vocabulary is thinning
You should read a book
Forget about me, I'm
Left behind

Wheels are spinning that I don't want
Whirring, parts are wheezing
Lubricate this, chuck that
Tinkering all day long...

But when my fingers touch music
I become human
I am composing
Something wonderful

Won't you be my lover?
We are vibrating that fifth dimensional string
Deep beneath
We are something
That wants to be felt
So dearly

She looks for me in the howling lust
A garden of life, held together
By its own beauty and by the holes torn
Into it, with all the winds rushing into the great black nothing
Behind the canvas

But she cannot find me,
I am somewhere in between everything
My love is a hummingbird relishing springtime
My love is a relic at the bottom of the sea
My love never was and my love will always be

I found myself at an impasse
With holes in my brain
That echoed her nature--
Remember me for the flowers I sent
Before we made me hollow.

There is a dessicated half
A grilled cheese sandwich
Underneath the stove
In my home

I really need to throw it away
I really shouldn't
Eat it.

sniff
.

Cool beauty exudes from the skull with black tendrils
Inky like a writer, inky like angst but it slides over your skin when you go to touch it
Two brown eyes in bed
Loving on the world like a ***** animal
Loving it on a bike, over roots and streams

While poetry turns the sleek machinery works
The body is smooth and aesthetic
And even when the mind is jagged the voice is soft and considered
Turning this way and that
I have the audacity to call myself cute
And I love my place in the world.

But I want to **** it.
To teach you a lesson.
About judging people.
About letting them grow.
I want to leave my beautiful hair
Young and pathetic
Attached to a dead skull
Sever the promise I held from ever forming fully
Just to show you what you've done to me.

Even though I'm sure I could fix this
Even though so much of this is my fault
You have done ugly things to me,
Things you should be ashamed of.

I want to gather up the guts to end it all,
Because what I have left is pieces like glowing embers
And it hurts to rekindle this fire
In the rain.

Blind to quality,
I must carry on
In reality,
I must become aerodynamic.

You are all just the air.
This theory that I'm there.
I will make it an art.

You

Will stay true to my heart.

Before you opened up for me, I was settling down--
Guard up, hopes down, trying to carve a life.

Before you came around, I was sharpening my knife.

Your skin was so pretty in the rain. But you were so far away
Our words caressed and sexed in that summer's air, teasing possibility

When we met, you were a scintillating mystery.

Now you've spread petals up close to my pupils
The depth of your fortune, the breadth of that garden...

My guards never sought so direct a pardon!

Because you are the sweetest thing,
So befitting me.
And you've been a target of pain and misery,
But you've met it with strength.
And you've never been loved
The way that I'm loving
You.

There is a side of my brain,
Razor sharp,
You didn't see it.

Indolence is flowing like a black tar over my biomachinery
Sometimes i turn my head,
Sometimes it's gravity turning it
Like a stone into the mud

A lazy layman ponders if it's fate
Something to do with physics
With twisted dimensions, or linear
Something necessary, no wait, forget it
There is no new religion.

Teetering mind, let me be
Flickering eyes, let me see
Why does this periscope from nowhere
Need to be
Me?

Vocabulary fades,
Equipment granted during youth gathers dust
Unstirred talent,
You are going stagnant

So whip up what you can,
You're losing your mind
This, this is fine,
Fine work.

The eye of horace is upon you
He sees you pick your nose in the shower

Cuz you bring your phone in the shower

Horace is a ***** man
A *****, ***** man

Who loves you right.

Your brown eyes sear through the thick mud of your life.

You are like the eye of the storm--
Moving coolly over land and sea,
A rare phenomenon
Cloaked in terrifying walls of turbulence,

I love you.

It seems like everywhere you go,
A black cloud follows you
And the weather pelts your soul.

It seems like everywhere you go,
Beauty erupts like a slow-motion volcano,
And I'm the only one who sees it.

You sip your coffee on a ray of sunlight in the morning--
You are woven into it,
Your brown eyes are looking at me with their brows raised
Your stepsister's chickens are out back
And Daisy is trying to go outside so she can get another duckball treat

And I love you.

Oh my god,
I love you so much.

I'm in the senate
The legislation I pass
Becomes the law of the land
My nation is small
And held like sand

I'm the police
This law enforcement
Executed perfectly by me
Shapes the whole world
And breaks a disease.

And I am in the council of death,
The decisions I make
Cost good blood and breath
Behind closed doors
Behind my mind
There is a need to die,
Deep inside.

This is the land of the free.

It snakes through cities and farms,
Growls in parking lots
And goes like lightning down highways
Choking and spitting on itself
Organs serenade eachother
In a wheezing harmony.

I am the bobbing head of a poet.

I want to work
Diagonally
Scratch deep thoughts into your concrete
Make a living off of party favors
And help you get on your feet

I know what you need--
I know what I wanna be
Is a flag, rather than a buttress or beam
And you could say I'm arrogant
But that's the life
I want to I lead.

I've got
a really bad cavity
But I'm
Not terribly sad

Hybristophile or phobe,
I am a neutral probe
Let the gods dance their several dances
And leave me here, alone

No lasso I could muster
Could hug a Hilbert's curve
No human brick or bluster
Could circumscribe a nerve

I feel this way and that,
And do not feel ashamed
I save the things I know, 'til they are
Caught upon the flame

Until they're caught upon the flame, my love
And how do you suppose it makes me feel,
That You should take the things
THAT MAKE ME REAL

When searching for the meaning of my thoughts,
I found a sturdy pedestal of sorts:
That solid fact of history
Yggdrasil in the Earth.

But the strangest echo came
From the miracle of birth.

And down the path behind
The common pattern wants to blur.

And from this evolution
Predictive thought emerged.

So in searching for the meaning of my thoughts,
I stood upon this pedestal, of course
I looked out into the future
And saw that I'm a fool.

Convention makes a man
Into a tool.

We see this is
The only thing we'd do,

But still we're something new
And it keeps us all in school.

When searching for the meaning of my thoughts,
I feel this strangest paradox arise.
I feel the itch inside my rolling eye.

The meaning of my thoughts--
Of course it wants to burst
I want to know what else
Is universed.

Do you remember the songs i improvised
They could get impressive
Brilliant even

I forgot how it goes,
But at least someone heard it.

The bad poems are just my way of saying it's awkward,
It doesn't always fit,
It's difficult sometimes
To know the answer

She really begs a designed man,
Someone with sharp edges
With a defined shape

Chiseled near perfection,
He works his lot
He plows her fields
And speaks too clear--

Too clear for her to deny
Him his skeleton throne
He wields it like knives,
Dresses it with respect.

Here I am designing myself,
A man planning his destiny
And don't think you distracted me
When you're coaxing out the best of me.

Hollowed eyes look disdainfully on curdled blood
On crooked veins and twisted nerves

The clasp of hands might be enough,

But my skin feels fit to burst
Like a monster is knocking on my ribcage.

And what if I told you I had to keep away?

Locked lips sear doubts from my mind
But some vestige of yesterday is left behind
When they pull away
I've got such vivid scenes
Running through my mind
But why

These colors are not supposed to be
With gnarled nerves all spinning free
There is a monster inside of me
And I want to CUT
It out.

I understand why the human employs judgment.

I think it helps to understand this,
And it is better than letting your judgments go uninformed--
It's a feedback loop with the DNA.

It's the idea we've only gotten so far
Because we protect each other
It doesn't quite hollow it out for me
But imbues it with exotic light

We have entered a new stage of our existence!
It is time to eschew the unnecessary emotional blights
They slow us down.

Get over yourself, human
Fine-tune what you've learned from the last generation
Be the best new human you can be
Look on the world with a scientific empathy.

I don't know.

Complications
In the morning
Tangles in the brush
Are just accents,
Not even really dissonance
In beauty.

Upon closer examination
The cords and vines
Were united in harmony.
Even choking death is just another plant,
Ravens and mockingbirds unite
In this ultimate symphony

The harvest will only yield so much sympathy,
Lovers and losers
Brothers, abusers--
From the altar of the morning,
Watching the brush breathe
A little more than it tangles.

I think that it's
Fine
Stumbling across the infinite
Clambering through objects of the day
Trying to make tools of them
Making a bit of a fool of myself.

I know that i'll
Die
I can't seem to get it right
Like the legends strewn across the sky
Maybe I'll just be one of the broken ones
A name forgotten more quickly with
Time...

But I think that it's fine.

I still manage to smile.

Oh, it aches so bad,
I think it's really fine.

Every road rises with the sun,
She does not speak of her decline.

My march is up one mountain
My fingers trace her spine

And hers trace mine--
Sifting creation with me
This way and that
Preoccupied, or
In paradise.

De-
Naturing?
If only with air,
We're making ties.

And now, I really should go--

She's making eyes.

...

Evergreen, deciduous trees
Winding trails and crystal streams
All woven into her halo,

She's making eyes.

Dawn is yawning,
Its yellow is mellow
You're the chartered martyr.

Whatever.

Time's plot is plodding,
Your heart is nodding
Off into a wakeful slumber.

Whatever.

Then,
Out of the blue
The vein you're in dilates
Your Icarus skyscrapes
The chemicals swim
And the ocean
Is awash
With color.

Whatever, whatever.

Whatever. Whatever.

Whatever, whatever
Whatever whatever.

My song is sung between tight spaces
In lonely caverns
With cold microphones rigged in the corner

That is the only place I can sing,
(Or at least so far)
My song is afraid of love and life
And light.