And from the center of her warm tumor
She calls out,
I know this is a lie!

A dull thud is heard in the distance by us all.

Is she going to keep doing that?

Yes, until the day she dies
With periods of profound silence.

And she never forgives herself
Or at intervals she does,
For all her incessant complaining
I tried really hard.

This is getting difficult
Like walking through curing concrete.

They find their way in,
Though you feel protected at times the shadow versions of umbrellas open up under your skin
And you feel them
The prolific good becomes the prolific horror
Maybe we
Just shouldn't be so prolific...

Ah, to hell with that.
I'll take what I can
And let's find out when.

AH! TO HELL WITH THAT!
I KNOW HOW THIS GOES AND I HATE IT!
SOMEONE-- WAIT NO ONE-- HELP ME!

And So this is how she lives her life
Always aware
Of what she is doing
And there is this thick awkwardness between us
We are not cool
We are fake when we want to be real
And all too real when we wanna be fake
And Jesse Lacey is always cooing in our ears
And they always crop up just like that and there's nothing you can do
And oh, you know what you are

You can't prove what you know
And yes even so
They will still continue to treat you that way

(And when you really go to think of it, shouldn't they?)

Don't fall for it!
The needy were never abandoned.
Or, "God is good"
Reckless faith got me here
An abomination
Conflating two different realities
Crafting an argument as if they were synonyms and yet,

There is something to that.
Some impossibility, deep down beneath everything
That drives not just Satan but God himself into wrath
And perhaps
Both are capable of both
And mercy says unto herself,
"Oh, get a room!"
And dies, resting on her inverted pedestal,
Blessed be her name.

Your eyes got blended up
Mixed into the slurry
Though they float now in that guarded moat
That keeps me safe and blurry.

Lensed through yourself, the trees
Are being told they've sinned?
Escape your definition.
(you) Change the state you're in.

Or does the state control me?
Tell me what you see...
A mix with solid edges--
Were they meant to be?

Win streak for the home team,
I chew it deep beneath my flesh
Digging little tunnels in my own bones

At least
We will use the flash expansion
To keep you cool in the summertime
Although, I can't promise it'll stay that way forever.

I bet you're wondering
How all those people got there...

Just kidding, you already know,
Don't you?

I'm puzzled at you.
This is the afterlife,
And we already knew.

But you still...
I don't know.
We are just separate forces.

I know you read that we'll become enemies,
Your last poem is an attempt to "squiggle that out"

I really can't get over how crazy you are.

How crazy you've always been.

And by rule it will start "making sense"
But only because it consolidates.

From my angle, you never make sense really.
But it always does.
The logos of us.

I mean, it's obvious. We've done it before.
No, we're not dead, Stop asking.

Well, sorta.

But I don't say that to you in public for a reason,
I mean I love you.
I mean take that as you will.

I mean, read whatever you want.

Anyway, I will protect you...
Uh, whatever  you are...
Until the day we both die.
And we will "die" together.
I guess I'll die first.
But it's really kind of at the same time.

Hailing yourself the great wizard above all creation,
Assuming yourself humble and
Adding it
To your list of accomplishments
Gracing me with just enough to keep me fed
Devoting your whole identity to my sense of well-being
And yet,
Being a separate being from me

Barring me from realities,
Many of which were extremely positive and exclusive,
NOT JUST BEING the result of emergence, no
ACTUALLY BEING that thing, that's just life, as you say
It's not just a result of universal forces but it just exists that way and I have to accept it

I'm shaking my clenched fist at you,
Michael.

What splinter in my neck
Woke me up today and said
I need to chase you
Around this whole **** world?

I should have stayed in bed,
Cause you told me that i'm dead
Don't want to chase you, chase you
Around this whole **** world.

I'm on a killing spree,
Don't think I'll ever change.
Set my feelings free
And keep them in a cage
So make me believe
I'll spend it all on rage
(In a moment)

I've lost everything before
And I don't remember how
But it's coming back to me right now

If my choice is to use force
Then I'm feeling disavowed
Cause it's coming back to me right now.

Don't want to ruin you,
I just have a creeping feeling
The way you look at me lately
Just takes me off guard

Cause I've never been okay
Always causing problems
And you're making me feel so included.

But I'm underneath,
Some things just never change
I keep wondering
How is it not deranged
To say i believe
When it's obviously strange
(I need warning)

I've lost everything before
And I don't remember how
But it's coming back to me right now

If my choice is to use force
Then I'm feeling disavowed
Cause it's coming back to me right now.