I will avoid being the bad one,
Be the bad one for me
Commit atrocity
I don't ever want to be
Like them
Sever straight
Be the wolf
Me, I am just a sheep

We know some have abstained
Bless their holy *****
144,000
Orders of infinity
They will never be considered evil

But me, I have to be
Have to be eventually
144,000 I fell straight through
There is no safety net
We must fulfill every state
We must complete the cycle
We must inhabit the spectrum

We are the versions of the self.

We describe it as trying to be
Or say we simply are

We pass one another on trains
Breathe in the other's skin cells

We know the condition of brotherhood
And that of a stranger

We are ignorant of motherhood--
What man is a mother?

We still go to war, with our history recorded
We know the unintelligent condition
We know the intelligent condition

We trash solipsism
Tell me any other story

So she read her book, the living page
She knows what's a gift,
Senseless rage

Dancing in theatres
That certain way

We borrow from stars in the furthest reaches,
It will never matter

Fluff up the product.

When I see the ones you hail
And hear the dull thud after my own actions
I do come to expect a precarious
And undue praise

Holy abstinence is the fallow sod that yields your strange crop
My dirt is leached and shallow
His benefits were reaped
He made a safe home inside a deep depression

From certain angles we look insane
From others we far exceed ourselves
Having things we can't have
Looking at each other through thick glass
The thick glass is us
We are the air
We are the light

You can't have teeth without cavities.

You can't have a tree without a bear.

And you can't have love without a septic clown
With its crooked head shoved up its glass

Nature breathes into me as I sleep
Decision traces days to come
Days gone past
Characteristics line my face
To tear my skin into itself
To tear the world asunder
Where it decides against itself

I have become the world
Now sleeping
Now I have become nothing
Not a man, not the world
Not asleep, not alive
But I am nothing, nowhere
Seeded black holes that wait like lions
The deepest roots of our very nature

The halcyon spirits that play along
The harmonic nodes that secure happiness--
They are only castles waiting to crumble
Fall to disrepair
They have seen the whole thing before
Over and over again they watch the world end
I can't tell if they are trying their hardest fighting for me
Or if they're jaded traitors, ready to draw the line in the sand

If they're angels or demons, afforded through each other
Oh but I know
But nothing escapes my mind's incessant questioning
Now this is the part where you explicate my destiny.

Don't get it twisted
I feel rush of giving

I gush for you
I want to give until I'm raw
Give until it doesn't even feel good anymore
Until I regret it and have to squash the regret because it's a false thing
And then feel good for giving a second time.

I don't even want things for myself
I want you to have enough.

I don't need greatness
I just want us all to have what we need.

And I'm sorry if my experience automatically means you don't always get what you need.

Or do I always get what I need and it's a test of faith?

Looking at the event horizon,
I see derivatives.

Aspects i could only uphold for a brief section
To you, that was the whole time.

People who were physically beautiful their entire life,
Well how could they be and not me?
Because they are derivative,
And though I could always be invalidated on this point and called insane,
I believe I'm looking out
And seeing all reflections of myself,
Everything derivative.

People who could always sing,
People who were always sad,
I was always a baby, i always had to die.

All mixed aspects
Infinity lensed through infinity
You end up with products utterly dissimilar.

But they all have veins tied in to me
I am the heart of this entangled matter
But I always existed and I'm just a moment along that recurring timeline
Each moment fighting to be important
Or maybe some taking a submissive role
Or maybe some fighting and losing
Or maybe some are both
Or maybe some winning
Or maybe winning is losing
Or maybe there are always so many ways to look at a moment
Or maybe there is only one and that's this right now
But I see derivatives
These characters are all derivatives
All necessitated by my existence

But am I special
Or am I inert?