If my heart was a red wheelbarrow
If my hands were like leaves that shake
If my head was a pile of stones here
If my red wheelbarrow breaks...

If my love was a problem for us
If a force was the way to go
Is it wrong that we feel enjoyment,
As we drown him in the lake?

I am not the one who's
In control,
Although they say it helps
To frame as partial.

The world's a toy but now it's
Getting old
And I just
Think integrity is integral.

If my heart was refrigerators
If my eyes were like TV screens
If my hands turn to alligators
Would you still lay love down on me?

I am not the one who's
Medical
I guess I'm lucky but I'll never really know

I was a boy and now it's
Getting old
But I am not the one who's in control.

If my heart was a red wheelbarrow
If my hands were like leaves and snakes
If my head was a pile of stones here
If my red wheelbarrow breaks...

If my heart was a red wheelbarrow
If my hands were ...
If my head was a pile of ...
If my red wheelbarrow breaks...

If my red wheelbarrow breaks...

deranged scream

IF MY RED WHEELBARROW BREAKS

Nuclear holocaust.
Empty houses.

Irradiated dust on the shelves.

People's silhouettes on the sidewalk.
No detectives.

"Sir?"

Then it all comes flooding back. We're still here. Right.

Is that any way to speak to your mother?

I scan the ground beef. Can haz. 2 peppers. Yep, can haz. An onion, American cheese. Mhm. I swipe my food stamps card. Kitty lives to see another day.

Enjoyment. Enjoy it enough. Hope you have a nice day! I hope Jesus has a nice day too.

But what if he doesn't? What if simply going forward draws the utmost hatred and ire? What if I tell you I can't change the story? At some junctures, you'd go into a rage. Or maybe scoff at me.

Just look at me, trying to excuse myself! I don't even know what's going to ha... ah, there's that gift again.

So I walk into paved paradise and there's the big yellow sun.

And there are rusted cars. One of them with its windows cracked. I peer inside and see they were reading a book by a really clever, super famous writer.

I guess I'm the most clever writer in the universe. But that doesn't change how ******* stupid I am. I start the only car in the known universe that still runs.

I'm passing empty swingsets. Lawn mowers in the front yard. The final reprieve of every restaurant, motel, and living room couch.

Vacancy, no vacancy. What's the difference?

Honk!

God, I wish you would stop doing that! Or no, I love it. The company of another person. The engineering of roads. The engineering of the horn. I take a second to apologize to you in my head and start thinking about Indian people honking at each other. When everyone was here.

My phone rings, and now I'm back to being upset. I wish you would just stop doing that. Take me off your list. I don't want any. You'll hate me. I won't enjoy it enough to say it was all worth it. I'm a predator seeking prey. You're allowed to just exist, but I'm not, and I understand why. I feel perverted when I try to interact with you. You have to let me in. If I think you're ugly I'm wrong. Just stop calling. The economy is terrible and the whole world is falling apart. Take me off your list. I'm the one calling you telling you to call me and it's just been causing problems.

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

...what was that?

I guess my mom's right, maybe I'm schizophrenic. But I didn't hear it. Jesus ******* christ man, read between the lines!

I don't read things. I don't find things.

Anyway, that was nothing. It was irrelevant. We have those. It's called living.

As I pull into our driveway I decide I regretted the whole holocaust thing and I fall back in love. Everything snaps back into place and all the cute corpuscles set in motion and the world and all its people come back to life. It's not as grotesque as I think it is, as long as I don't look inside myself for too long, as long as there is something else to distract myself from it.

You cuddle me and validate this little idea I have that I'm the same innocent boy I was years and years ago. That the bad things in the world aren't my fault. I write another ****** poem I don't care about and you like it once or twice and I won't bother to look at your profile because I've accepted I can't keep up with everything. That's just nature. Too prolific for its own good and always trying to spin that like it's some good deal. Oh trust me it is sometimes but what the hell, like...

Dream maker

If I ever found in my deepest essence
The spring of Flora's fine Dehiscence
A contrary spirit, unimpressed
The product of my loneliness

If I ever had to hold my tongue
I might just lose it in my lungs:
A gasp so sharp and **** so deep
I'd sleep so much I'm losing sleep

If I ever found some mortal wound
Beneath my flesh, pristine and pruned
If ever such a snag I'd find
I'd dance around and lose my mind

And that is all life really is
Don't mean to hurt your feelings, kid
Just calm your **** don't flip your lid
Your present goal is healing this

Feathers are fine,
In my down blanket they are fine
A surface area to keep mine
Working the aspects
I'm in the after effects

Weather my spine,
Prove no point to me
Yeah that's fine
Trying to understand
Why I'm limited
I've wasted too much time

So I would explode
Against myself
Just to feel something
I might regret but I
I would explode
Against myself
There is no way to make it softer
It would seem...
It would seem extreme.

You found
A way into my heart
Stole a beat or two or maybe more
I've kinda lost track

Sent me reeling
I got lost inside my feelings
I'm not sure if they all made sense
But God, I can't stop looking back,

I guess, because I can't make ends of this
Fumbling my sentences
Professing things I might regret
But knowing the whole time

That ****, I gave you everything
But all you did was sentence me
And loving such a selfish person
Surely was my crime.

I hope you stay away forever,
Please consider our love severed
When the way you get your kicks
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try to stop me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you stay away forever, empty

You said
We'd do it for all time
Well if all of time is watching us
I'd hate to be you

I had a feeling
But I never would suspect that you
Would throw it all away like this
I will shut you out forever

And yeah, you can pretend it's fine
But your crooked head is built on lies
And I hope you do regret sometimes
The life that you have led

'Cause I regret the time I waste
Just processing the awful taste
You left as you were leaving
I was hoping! I was breath(ing.)

(I) hope you stay away forever,
Please consider our love severed
When the way you get your kicks
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try and stop me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you stay away forever, empty

Don't come looking
I have shifted
You won't find this burden lifted
You have done yourself in
Darling, you have done yourself in

Don't come looking
I feel different
All you do is take, I'm giving
All my love to someone else
All my love, all my love

(no inst, soft vox)

I hope you stay away forever,
Please consider our love severed
When the way you get your kicks
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try and stop me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you stay away forever, (empty)

(I) hope you stay away forever,
So now, consider this love severed
When the way you live your life
Is sick, I think I'd rather run

To the darkness of the valley
Don't you ever try and find me
Cause I think that it's just better
If you just stay away forever, empty

Baby, empty, baby.... empty
Baby, empty, baby... empty