I don't think you know which direction,
Surrounded on every side
Sides that bleed whenever you take a step
Sides that blame one another for being sides.

Sides that are ultimately delusion,
Sides that come together as a whole.

But I just don't think you know which direction,
Doesn't anyone understand what I mean?
When you exist as an array and a spectrum,
Which direction should you try?

Should I go ahead test God?
But it's arrogant!
Should I let myself be odd?
Do you dare me to?
Should I try to live straight, avoid sin?
Oh you're so far above me now, with a path I was never able to follow.
Or you're an intersection of reflections of my own life which I can remotely access in the present moment.
Should I listen to The Starting Line?

I am what is apparent,
And I am resolute.

I wish you'd step aside and let me shine,
I wish I could do what you do.

And how could you even do that?
You said you did something different.

I just don't know
And I'll never have proof.

This is what God won't let you do
You've got a sour tongue

My thoughts fall heavy into mud
Seen, heard but so inert
I puppet nods among the trees, encouraging conspiracy
Swallow me in your boughs and leaves

"What point were you trying to make, boy?"
They cajole, tickling me
And they're half a nightmare but for now I can love

Since all things hang from my singular head,
I do feel a little heavy
And it weighs me down.

But there's no one to catch my fall,
No one to listen but me.

I fall through lovers and family and therapists
I fall through coffee and paint and food stamps
I fall through probation and panic attacks and karaoke
I fall through these refractions of infinity

Why are you always so pathetic?
What makes you feel like there's some purpose?
Where do you get your motion?
And why do you think they blame you?

Wrench your dream from my future heart
It doesn't want to let go
Though the weight will crush him surely
We will have this forever, foolish

There's no such thing as me
Spawning such brilliant memories.

I swear I've lived it all before
I have been noticing things.

But you say that makes me sick,
And I don't disagree with it.

I guess you could say
I've been noticing nothing,
Nothing at all.

So there's no such thing as me,
Why even write about it?

Spawning such dark memories,
Why burn so bright about it?

But we've gone critical now
We are just chemicals now
And now there's no such thing as me
At all.

And now I'm nothing at all,
At all.

Vein
Silence
Thumping walls but the rhythm's canceled

Ignorance
Periphery
Awareness
A cracked eye

A coma

The rhythm was canceled

But not yet

Crest crest crest CREST crest cress  s s
Who knows if it happened
Thinking about it destroys the thought of thinking about it

So don't think about it

Take her hand, let's go
Don't hesitate, why?

It never happened
The rhythm's canceled
Heart knocking against itself
He's a bit of a pervert

I am not the devil
The devil is a ghost,
And me
I'm alive
Unless I'm not invited

Do you feel heavy,
Crossing in front of this car
With a black tee draped over aging muscles
Muscle wrapped around aging bones?

I've convinced myself that I'm light
That I'm young
That what I know deep down isn't eating me alive
That it's not that bad.

You lifted your eyes
They saw through the windshield
You saw my levity
And I'm sure I saw stress.

Well I thought the universe was caving me in that day
Well it must be getting us both
Because I saw the weight but it wasn't crushing you
It was making you glow

Yeah you looked worried but I know you're a strong man
I could tell by your eyes
I could tell by the beard.

But it was just another day,
Who knows what imbues the sunset
Who knows why I'm still holding on to hope?

I didn't know what gravity meant when I was just a child.

But a man is tasked with responsibility,
And innocence is wild.

Of course this would mean there's something I can never be:
Satisfied by my own existence.
And by moving forward at all, I create a cavity I'll never fill.

I want you to understand how the worst parts of me spring from that idea,
But who are you, you say you're not me.

They just sink in from the shadows like rows of mathematical teeth,
In concert with each victory
We will run out of buffer space.

As I bite into chzbrgr,
I know I'm innovating.

You can help me,
And I can help you cross the street.
But no one can help my blood,
And no on