To the boy who cleans trash from his Texas neighborhood
And the next couple days notices heavier litter left by those demons
To the one who is pointedly NOT in Mayday Parade
But is too blessed to listen to all their songs
I need therapy
Therapy that I'll never receive

We'll see what we can do for you
And if it's never enough
Just shut the **** up

I know these times are hard for you.

Sometimes your vessel will glow with a music that's in-between
Rushing fugues of color
You can't make up God's mind

Your dials rotate under moonlight
What went wrong?
Why did you sleep on the roof of your house?

The perihelion draws sweat from your skin
We buried it in time
Cause we're cryptic kids in a tragic world,
Always leaving us a line.

Nobody knows you're here,
Just you
Distrustful of comfort.

We can't find a way to place it
We don't know what to do
Not in this moment
On this radio station between worlds

I can't be like you,
I'm not like these reflections
Swimming around me.

With shaking hands,
I realize the entire universe ends with me.
Somewhere else in time I fall to my knees
And cry the greatest and loneliest cry of all time.
But here, we whirr and buzz on. We talk talk talk when we're alone to keep this moving. Fibers come loose and fall to the ground every day.

It's red, love. The color you bleed. The color of apples.

It's orange. Like "A Lesson in Romantics"

It's yellow, like the sunlight in the morning.

And green, like the forest you've been courting.

It's blue, like the sky you're scared to look in.

And violet, like the flowers you brought home.

Don't you see, we can't exceed ourselves at all, so it's up up and away with love!
There's nowhere else to go but here
With gravity above.

I feel the forest growing into me.

Part of my body,
Seen from transcending peaks:

I am the reason for stands of trees,

I am the end of these violet leaves.

Compounded in time, their maceration
And evolution
Are constant, a nutrient stream.

My identity.

Seen from transcending peaks.

Little mites walk the giant canyons
Of my skin.

Cyanobacteria stow away
In the fabric of my backpack
And hitch a ride home
With me.

Decaying leaves and wild yeasts,
Red oak and wet clay,
Protozoans, insect larvae
And gametophytes season my plate.

Eyes that swing from tree to tree--
They are river deltas of another kind
What is flowing into them
Is kind, and it will never leave.

I am looking through the forest
For my identity.

I am looking, I am lost in the leaves

I have found my great reprieve.

I can feel the forest growing into me.

The relief of your faces
The force of your breaths
All that I trample, caress or ingest

The stone you expose
And what you conceal
Are pillars of fate
That make me real!

And you come with a fear of what I am.

I'll be your soil, and I'll be your seed
I'll be the depth of the light that you need

I'll carry forests, and mountains, and seas
I'll grow into you
Since you grew into me.

Wax on our fingertips,
Glitter on your cheeks.

What's it like to be you?

We were in a cardboard box in the backyard,
In between the autumn leaves

The smell of construction paper
And sticks of glue.

I wondered alone,
What's it like to be you?

It's pink and it's blue.

Your bones are so slight,
And mine are just plain.

At first an aversion
Now the spike of my brain.

I don't know why I want to kiss you,
I just do.

But what's it like to be you?

Passions thrummed inside my veins
One of trillions wondering things
Then suddenly you culminate
And like a feather you float within my fate
Lost in my pupils, they dilate.

And suddenly, I know what it's like to be you.

I put on the cat ears and do my thing.

I cut my skin,
I show up late.

I killed myself for Babs and Kate.

The stuttered monologuing State.

The emo kid without a shape
My personality, obliviate
The 29 year old I macerate

That's okay, I hate this poem,
That's okay
I hate this poem
That's okay
I hate this poem
That's okay
That's okay

That'******>

The things we do inside don't matter,
A sick twisting of the mind.

Cut off the circulation at strategic points
Devour the self
And dream your pleasure.

This is not an admission of sin
This is an innocent protest
There are some things I would never do
And that's how I got you.

This is not heaven
It's my refusal to go to hell
I scoop my brains back into my head
And get on with living.

It feels good.

Veins ******* veins,
You know it doesn't matter
We end up with a face
We end up in a shape.

I want to have *** with you
I don't wanna get married
And you can't have a baby that wasn't already there.

But what if this is wholesome,
And I was just in my darkness?

I can feel my organs bulging in space
Boasting and cowering
Squelching and squirming

I am a sick man

I hold together my viscera with an idiotic pride
No one likes me, not really
Not even myself

I am something wrong with the world
The only thing that's right
When you claim it's yours
And try to rob me of the light

And heaven knows you will
But they never asked to lie
Those poor conquerors of hell
That doomed wretch of a spy

I'm a lost cause, love
Every argument
Buried in eternal silence

Now I'll scar my brain
I will waste away
And forget the taste of trying

I really loved you
It was the last time I felt alive
But I was broken
Now I'll twist myself some more

And it was my fault
Should have recognized
What you tried to give to me

I will mutilate myself
I was never meant to love

I need you
To dissect me
A little animal
With my skin so free

I didn't wanna fight
With my sustenance
You make me wanna cry
You're injustice

And I need you
To dissect me
Figure out my brain
When I try to sleep

And I need you
To direct me
Shepherd of the sun
Need some guidance please

The whole world wakes up...

IYYY YAM RIGHT,
WHEN'S THE NEXT WAVE?
I'M BEATING MYSELF
IN THE HEAD, BABE.
I'M LEAVING MYSELF
AND I'M MELTING
KNEW WHAT I WAS
BUT I DIDN'T WANNA TELL ME

IYY YAM RIGHT,
THAT'S A FEACHO
I'M LIVING MY LIFE IN THE BLEACHOs
...WE GAVE BIRTH TO AN ARROGANT CREATURE
NOT MY FAULT
WHEN THE WOMAN GETS WEAKER

I need you
To eject me
A bitter little pill
Called empathy

Make it count
A 123
Take me out
When it's hard to breathe

And I need you
Like you need me
A little old friend
Called Necessity

And I want you
To undo me
You're driving me insane,
What's my forking name?

And Wake Up!

IYYY YAM RIGHT,
WHEN'S THE NEXT WAVE?
I'M BEATING MYSELF
IN THE HEAD, YAY
I'M LEAVING MYSELF
NOW I'M MELTING
KNEW WHAT I WAS
BUT I DIDN'T WANNA TELL ME

IYY YAM RIGHT,
THAT'S A FEACHO
I'M LIVING MY LIFE IN THE BLEACHOs
...WE GAVE BIRTH TO AN ARROGANT CREATURE
NOT MY FAULT
WHEN THE WOMAN GETS WEAKER

We can make a sacrifice
On and on to darker times
Living in a memory
Anything and everything

We came here to analyze
Our relations through dead eyes
We are mutants in the sun
Look at what the world's become
....
SO WHEN'S THE NEXT WAVE?
I'M BEATING MYSELF
IN THE HEAD, BABE
I'M LEAVING MYSELF
NOW I'M MELTING
KNEW WHAT I WAS
BUT I DIDN'T WANNA TELL ME

HYPERREAW,
THAT'S A FEACHO
I'M LIVING MY LIFE IN THE BLEACHOs
GAVE BIRTH TO AN ARROGANT CREATURE
NOT MY FAULT
WHEN THE WATER GETS DEEPER