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Sometimes Starr May 2019
Opaqueness speaks to me, stark and singular
"You are alone and you did not see"
Spurring me, I suppose, to hide secrets in myself
But I spit out the thought, like mud flung into my mouth

I always wanted to be trustworthy
To lay out my insides for everyone to see
Because that is the piece I wanted to be
And those are the people I want next to me

But next to me, I wonder who's there
My eyes flit back and forth, aware
That secrets lay behind these walls
I passed one by, just down that hall...
Sometimes Starr May 2019
bodhicitta drags on a cigarette
bodhicitta sits slumped over in a bar corner and ****** on itself
bodhicitta forgot how to lie,
but there is still hope.

turn my dreams inside out before my eyes
puncture me and tell me it's not so easy
throw sand in my gears and leave me wondering
what is wrong with the world?

splintered open, i remembered
because the sun's river was broken there
my ideals melted and left disfigured
it was my job to provide form.

tell
me
the
whole
truth

and i'll try
to echo you
walkthrough:

even as some humans try to unite the species and do what they can to make a more sustainable, harmonious earth, things just tend to fall apart. the "slumbering enlightenment" sits there, observable and understandable by others. but still we try to organize.

i have profound appreciation for the hardship and mind-bending struggles i've been through in life. i've changed my opinion and position and demeanor so many times and i know i still need to experience more "pain" and change more. tell me i'm wrong!

those times were pretty sacred to me and i can play them back like a record.

i feel this concept of bodhicitta goes that deep, to where it no longer looks like what you might expect. it fades out into... is it still "enlightenment-mind"? What is art and what is not? Much like my artistic name, bennu, works in my mind. You could almost call them synonyms.

And so my goal is to be a good human, whatever that is.
Sometimes Starr May 2019
if we were like an orchestra,
what would it sound like?
we're like a growth of self-replicating instruments
assembled haphazardly
with some spots really glowing...

twisting, splintering, breaking
airy and light, slow and morose
snapping strings and shards of wood
set off their chain reaction
inspired pieces, conversation
and wild innovations...

can you hear it like i can?
Sometimes Starr May 2019
Rosy for no reason...
Bicycle-pierced misery
Petals fall to puddles,
Reason for no roses.

Bloom before you choke.
See what you can see!
Pedal through that sea and cut
A handful for your love.

Whatever is your bicycle,
Get on and pedal hard
You'll make it safe to work, and dear
Next year you'll buy a car

Chase the gray away like birds
Cutting through the rain
Rise atop the hill and plant
A flower for your pain.
Sometimes Starr May 2019
your cackle echoes through a troubled mind,
long shadows touch each other's corruption.
Sometimes Starr May 2019
God is dead and we are like maggots eating his body
Nowhere getting further
Bursting away from my eyes at the speed of light
Lament, lament
It lasts and decays
Nothing can stay, nothing can stay

Here we are, a morbid picture
Rosy for no reason
God is dead and we are like maggots
Hold up your reason.
Hold up your reason.
Lament, lament
It lasts and decays
Sometimes Starr May 2019
My lover dances on my lips with a crimson kiss
Sharp as a razor, it cuts through my mind
And burrows deep inside, whispering words
In the tones of her voice
Deep in my mind.

My lover envelopes me in understanding
The paradise canopy I shouldn't expect
But once grown around, I see where I am:
A place in her heart
She's tended so dearly.

My lover is a patient woman--
She should tap her foot to the beat of my heart!
And give ultimatums, but no
She waits.
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