I've got friends who don't talk to me.

I've got this one friend who acts like he cares,
but in reality just wants to talk about himself.

I've got this another friend
who only cares about being on good terms with everyone.

I've got another friend
who doesn't care about anyone else but his girlfriend.

I've got this one friend
who talks trash about me.

But what I don't have
is a friend who actually cares.

A friend that's willing to talk to me,
to help me.

And I desperately need one.

Why are you like this?

Everyday, it's a battle.
You try to get me angry,
but it doesn't work.

Everyday, in order for you to have something to talk about,
you try to make me cause a scene.

Why?

I don't know what you gain from it,
nor what you want from me.

People happen to like me more than you,
so why do you tell them:
"She got mad at me for no reason"?

They know.

They know that you try to aggravate me,
that you try to get under my skin.

Is this some sort of accomplishment for you?

I'm sorry but you don't mean anything to me,
so I'd appreciate it if you stopped trying.

You're just hurting yourself.

I'm not broken anymore,
because I've already pieced myself together.

I'm not empty anymore,
because I feel something resting inside of me.

I'm not lonely anymore,
because of you.

You've filled me with warmth,
in these cold seasons.

I'm probably not worthy of your attention,
and your care,
but you gave it to me anyways.

You've let me breathe,
and helped me to live.

I can't find the correct words to express my gratitude,
for "thank you" is too easy,
and I don't know of a word to describe how I feel.

I remember the one of the worst parts of being in school,
I was used.

I believed that I loved this boy,
a popular, funny boy,
and he was my world.

I usually watched from afar,
until one day he came up to me.

He asked me if I could help him on his homework.
I ended up doing it for him,
but I was so happy.

Eventually, I just kept doing his homework,
and he'd lead me on.

Giving me hugs,
calling me sweet names,
sitting close to me.

But I realized that I had nothing,
he would just talk to my friends,
and only talk to me when he wanted me to do something.

He'd never let me have anything,
and I regret not seeing it sooner.

Everyday she goes to school
a smile plastered on her face.

She is lonely and despised
by her horrible classmates.

All she wants to do is fit in,
but alas,
people will never let her.

She has natural beauty,
but people don't acknowledge
or let her enjoy it.

She wants a chance,
a chance to breathe,
but alas
they'll never allow it.

I'm not entirely mad at you,
and I'm not entirely disappointed in you.

I kind of expected this,
but I didn't know how it would feel.

All I know is that I'm not happy with you.

I know you want to apologize,
and that you already have,
but if there's anything I've learned from my emotional wreckage,
it's that saying sorry right after the fact,
is always insincere.

What's worse is that,
the next day after our fight,
I was ready to forgive and move on,
but every time I tried to get your attention,
you ignored me.
It was humiliating,
in a public place,
to be ignored.

I just sat quiet,
astonished by your behavior.
I should have be mad at you,
not the other way around.

Again, you apologized right after.
Your insincere words hurt me,
but I'm willing to look over that.

But now,
I want space.
Space and time to reconsider,
to evaluate.

You've hurt me,
other people around you,
and yourself.
Think about it the next time words come out of your mouth.
You know, if there is one.

Do you ever get that feeling,
when you're in a large room of people,
that you're lonely?

It's an icy cold sensation that just
freezes your blood flow.
It's a cold feeling that spreads from your ribs,
to your stomach.

I hate that feeling.
It hurts both ways,
emotionally
and physically.

But that feeling just melts away,
when someone notices me.
The feeling just leaves
when someone talks to me.

But that doesn't happen most of the time.

And so I'm still stuck with that icy feeling,
with no one to talk to,
with no one to look to.

But that's okay.
I don't suppress my pain anymore.
I don't need to,
because I know I'm not alone.

We're told in school that food gives us energy,
but they don't touch on support.

Support gives me energy to keep going,
a will to live.

It's the unspoken thing that keeps us alive,
the thing that makes you keep running.

I know for me,
it's what helps me wake up in the morning,
it's what helps me open my eyes,
it's what helps me go about my day.

Support is vital for a human being to survive,
it's the food your soul needs.

So I thank you,
for all the support you've given me,
for all you've done for me.