Sparkly hazel eyes
Mirroring the sun’s radiant reflection
Have a stardust countenance that belies
The intricate seamless indignation
Concealed by the piercing glint.
Portals of the mortal soul
They are, a squint  
An unnecessary undertaking as it’s ephemeral
When they speak stories untold.
Tears shy away
They’ve a mind of their own and know when to horses hold
This in spite of the mind and heart being in disarray.
My speech superfluous
  As  eyes  hint at being imperious

I must be incredibly wary
and alert
and I gotta follow my gut because there’s a reason to why
it aches
or jumps with excitement;
it knows
much more than my head does;
and I must hold myself firmly like a proud statue, but I can’t just stay in one place
I need to tiptoe on a tightrope
I mustn’t fall, but if I do, I mustn’t fuss
just get back up again,
just get on with it

I went to an art gallery this afternoon
and the theme of one small contemporary art room
was,
“just get on with it”,
(I decided that myself anyway);
there was a painting of an airplane, resting on snow,
that one was obvious
I said, “just get on with it, then, fly”
there was a painting of a snowy road,
that one was obvious too
there was a painting of a sad girl
again, obvious
but then there was a painting of a person
with a large smudge of green on his face, he barely had a face
and a large smudge of white on his waist, he barely had a waist;
I concluded,
“sometimes you don’t have a face and you just need to get on with it”
because my mood was easy breezy silly this afternoon;
but now I’m thinking
sometimes you lose your identity
and you just need to get on with it

I can barely take anyone serious when they ask the question,
“who am I?”
the answer is obvious if you allow simplicity into your heart,
“you’re what you are experiencing and feeling and being right now, and it’ll change all the time in every moment”
so,
I feel kind of commiserable
and much of a parody
for sitting in a busy mall foodcourt, with a cup of coffee I didn’t even buy at that foodcourt,
remixing an old song on garageband,
then looking up and realizing I’m surrounded by all of these kiwi strangers
and finally asking the question
“who am I”
oh I’m a lunatic, aren’t I?

I must be open, but not too open
and easy to get along with, but not too easy to get along with
I must catch a wave on the first try,
but if I wipe out, I mustn’t turn red;

I need to watch what I say
before I say it
but also find the courage to speak
when I’m shy
and I must be considerate
but not let people walk all over me

I can’t be a pushover, and I can’t be too much of a leader
because I don’t know what I’m doing
here;
I can love but I shouldn’t fall in love
at least for awhile
because I’m still high from the transition and I’m dubious of how
authentic and sincere
my falling in love
would be

worrying is the most unnecessary thing
money isn’t an issue
(right now)
and loneliness is a blessing
but it’s also a sickness
and I must remind myself that I’m worth not being lonely
and instead being free
and above all,
I am capable of anything I set my mind to,
even if I forget
“who I am”
or “what I wanna be”
above all,
I must always be me.

Litigation of repressed distraught,
Ambiguous embellishments of euphoria,
Cast asunder infatuation in hopes her eyes capture,
Perchance hell revoke my admission and allow an old soul
A craved desire coveted keenly upon the heaving *****.
Lest I cling tight with passion adieu,
And ****** not skin but a heeded heart,
summation of abysmal damnation.
Capture my love hold dearly my heart in your claimed hand...

you are like black magic,
a hidden lip underneath a night of grace; underneath the canopy
of old soul trees, stretching out above
to protect hearts from being
hurt;
but you,

you are like black magic
and cheeky lick kisses under ****** blankets.
you were a secret
you were a shame
you were a dose of mortifying pleasure;
a sore amount; a quarter of a cup; a batch of chocolate chip cookies
with just one egg,
splenda, not sugar,
tofu, not meat,
never enough;
but I’m a sucker for vegetarianism and anything
orthorexic – I’ve compared you
to my biggest demon
too often; so I should really know that
you’re toxic –

I dance alone
with my eyes closed
and you’re there; step step, close.
your fingers slide into the gaps between mine
and now we’re interlocking,
like a devil on my back;
I move with you; dancing to your heartbeat
step step step, hold me close
and never let me go
-- oh please let me go
-- oh maybe I should let go.

We’re Getting Older,
the lyrics in the song I am listening to
tell me;
but I feel young under your gaze
a time machine; taking me back to a year ago
in the winter
in the cold
under the open, black sky
because the trees are broken and little in the winter,
leafless,
and don’t have enough life in them
to protect my heart
from being hurt
(by you).
oh you,

you are like black magic,
and I am like a baby lioness,
proud and easily tamed.

you’re free;
you’ll see

maybe all it takes is a seagull
******* on your cap

and you’ll just sit there and laugh -

that’s clarity

Can you see it now?
Tell yourself the sky is blue, the grass is green,
Close your eyes say it again,
The sky is blue, grass is green,
Open your eyes, is life still gray?
Did the colors leave my life when your hand left mine,
I can't remember, where is your smile where is the warmth of your love?
I still remember, those fatal words that I couldn't fathom,
I collapsed, I still sleep reaching for you, I feel you still
But the vision of your face so lifeless I realized I died with you.
What good is my contribution now? without a family,
I don't know what's waiting for us, where we will go but baby I'll be there soon. I'll be coming home to that abyssal slumber