Hold your reservations,
For just a while longer,
I know you see I'm crumbling,
And you know there's nothing you can do,
Just hold on a little longer.

I'm slowly seeing colors,
Getting some more sober,
Will it finally be over,
Once I find my home and hunker?

Creeping up behind me,
Holding it over my head,
What else should it possibly be?
Where could have I been lead?
If not for the searing fire under my skin?

I'm slowly seeing colors,
Getting less and less sober,
Will it finally be over,
Once I find my home and hunker?

If I'm wild, If I'm uncontrollable,
Then I'm untouchable,
Don't you ******* touch me,
You sickly mangy hog,
I am nothing but god,
No I swear, I'm above it all,
I am, I promise, I beg,
Stop prying, stop vying,
I'm lost, I am, I beg,
Please call for the cops,
They'll shoot me,
Shoot me dead before you enter.

I'm slowly losing visibility,
Getting much less sober,
It'll never be over,
I'll never find a home outside my pretty head.

Hold your reservations,
For just a while longer,
I know you see I'm crumbling,
And you know there's nothing you can do,
Just hold on a little longer,
I'm finding ways to crack walls,
Taking chisels and hammers,
Please, hold on somewhat longer.

When sitting within the room where I was reborn,
I cannot tell if the fumes that I exhale are toxic,
When I'm so afraid for anyone to know me,
For what if they find out I'm a tyrant before I do?

Sitting in a crowded room with the lights,
Bearing down on my shoulders and tongue,
Manage the twisting shame through trials,
I am a twisted beast full of sin and carnage.

I am a twisted beast full of sin and carnage,
A dictator pleading with deities for forgiveness,
Ravage the next night with vicious vices,
I am nothing more than a young and dumb kid.

Sitting in a crowded room with the lights,
Bearing down on my shoulders and tongue,
Manage the twisting shame through trials,
I wish I was confident in my impoverished crimes.

Don't look my way, no, cause I'll feel it,
Bitterness that crawls into my throat-

Is it that I'm a bad dog?
Am I dog trained to protect myself?
Or am I a stray yearning for a home?
Can I follow someone home and curl into their lap?
Can I lick my own wounds and share them carefully?
Or will my hackles begin to raise as my lip curls?
Or will I turn to bite and tear at the hand's flesh?

Sitting in a crowded room with the limelights,
Bearing down on my shoulders and tongue,
Manage the twisting shame through trials,
I am a twisted beast full of sin and carnage.

I am as I was raised to be.

Why do you care for me at all,
When I can barely care for myself,
They say that you can't love someone,
Unless you begin to love yourself,
Then why do I still look for your smile?

Its all this debris that clutters the epicenter,
The point of no return was the moment you looked into my eyes and saw a human worthy of love,
I'd rather you curb stomp my head and take me out,
At least then I don't have to reconcile with the inevitable consequences of being alive.

The feelings are all the same,
Hopelessness, worthlessness, impending doom,
With the context of all that I was,
And all that I have become,
They feel mature these days,
Perhaps more manageable,
but I'd argue that they're worse,
The consequences are only tenfold,
I'm supposed to operate without hitch,
Yet here I am, reiterating the feeling of a fall.

the feeling of the fall

the feeling of the fall

the feeling of the fall

F
A
L
L
.
.

Pockmarked arms,
Sound off alarms,
Stargazing farms,
Dependent on charms.

Unrealized power,
Atomic shower,
The flavor's sour,
Everybody had better cower!

I dont give a ****,
By stupid, you've been struck,
As you run amok,
Running over kids with your truck.

Unrealized power,
Atomic shower,
The flavor's sour,
Everybody duck and cower!

Planted marigold at the doorstep,
There's blood left in your stead,
It's all you've ever been fed,
I think you're out of your depth.

Hats off,
Heads down,
Gather round,
Pray for the sound,
Pray for the sound,
Pray we'll all be found.

Do not be afraid of me,
We are all but creatures,
Flesh and bone molded from mud,
Sculpted perfectly imperfect,
Impulses are nothing but challenges,
So, little one, **** me if you must,
I’ll find you once I roam for long enough,
Imperfections exacerbated into anger.

Taking faltering steps as you stare,
Into a formless form that only peers,
Curious but no more wary than a neutered cat,
Turn your fingers to daggers, stab through its flesh.

Now, don’t be afraid of me,
You’ve tidied up your own deathbed,
As the impossible, possible, completely lost control,
Cascades through your fragile mortality,

And you just can’t help but to scream,
Your voice carries into the eons,
The scream resonates through four planes,
Intersecting now as the axis splits.

I can feel your fear,
Your blood pulses red, then blue, then absence,
Nothing matters when you’re only just matter,
A tattered speck of dust left out to settle,
Until the wind picks up and you’re sent,
Like a letter to your final destination,
I can’t feel your fear anymore.