The vest grows heavy on my shoulders
Fuse in one hand
Match in the other
Fingertips practically itching to act.

Why is it so hard to self destruct?
I've got all the required materials right here
Why can't I be just like them
Loose with words and actions
Spreading myself like cloudcover?

They've got me thinking
Maybe if I could just explode
Pulverize myself into tiny bits
In that brief moment
Of becoming nothing from something
I'll forget your scent
Your eyes and your voice
That for a heartbeat, if only just one
Your name won't be pulsing through my veins

Even if it was the last thing on my lips.

The darkness falls behind us faster than our thoughts,
Just the same as our sweet vibrant youth,
I want to spend an eternity; swimming in your memories;
                  Admiring each one that's caught,

The light stays in front of us quicker than our breath,
Just like the future we seem to be heading towards,
I want our future to be as full as life as it is now;
                  Let's forget the rules and cheat death.

.

What is it,
dripping from the skyline,
peach bloom worries,
those shiny petals twirling,
hypnotizing, creating that image,
the dark words, caustic phrases
they mimic because it sounds cool

Playing with minds waiting
for that next head way,
standing before a store front,
watching fuzzy televisions,
stealing what's new,
spitting on sidewalks and sticking
chewed gum under sills

They follow blindly
where they are led,
waving flags of faded glory denim,
ripped at the knees
from falling before guidance
that is off center at best

Still they praise,
in four letter monotone voices
demanding to know, what the...
receiving only laughter
and discarded job applications,
tossed in stainless steel bins
they have no business emptying