Plunge from the seat of humanity
in the chasms within abyss
Rip out my limbic system
and **** that parasitic sibling
without giving him an inkling
Rip out my senses, it's sickening
untill all that's left is a nervous system
Inject liquid anxiety that twists my reality
to standing in a mist of damp from parasitic fungi
Shower in liquid methane
cool my mellow heart
the bane of my existence
until it stops and all goes dark
and when I walk on a harrowed path
All hollow, lost..
cut me with a razor blade on every thought I make
Slice all my veins but don't let me fade away
Put my tongue in chains
And tear this kindness from my face
**** every mask I make
Punish me for my past mistakes
Free me from the kindness and the love I have today
So I can tear down this seat of my humanity
And Come back to the comfort of the darkest place

I feel like I'm standing on the precipice
Another leap of faith
Another leap in the dark
Another trust fall

Facing the choice of self-belief
To persue a different path
with hardships to endure

Do I dare persue this passion?
Does my heart point in this direction?
I listen.. and calm my self.

Deafening winds on the mountain
I stand
I climbed high
I came from far

I grab my gear
and pack my experience

I smirk
ofcourse I'll jump

Because the difference now is.
that my brothers are waiting for me.

I took a dive..
A little too deep
and now I miss the ground
from under my feet

I come up and gasp for air

The taste of salty defeat
gritted between my teeth

My heart is pounding
My bones are throbbing
enveloped by the chill of the sea
I am shocked and in awe
emerging in the silence of the storm

in a cloudy night before dawn

*"It's time to go."

Succumb to a place of light
Because the dark is comfortable,
Safe even,
The familiar feeling of lingering regret and failure
the wobbly walk of the night, supressing tears in self induced despair
Promises to others are more easily upheld than promises to yourself
Self sacrifice is a sad character.
Running away from those feelings of conflict is cowardice.
Running your mouth about loyalty now?
You lie, betray and manipulate on a daily basis.
You lie to your God, the one being truly capable
of changing your loyalty, the path you're bound to..
is you, sinner.
so..
Succumb to light

I peeled off my faces
with voices and expressions
to try to come to terms with sadness,
my development was heart agression

Questions filled with tears and doubt
thoughts filled with fear, it clouds

storm heavy, torn every
face from my body into a Skin Leather Jacket

My brain a smoked Onion Head
so all my heart could do was crack
tears trickled down
numbing my body like life "handed" a smack

Woke up groggy and slow
in the midst of a storm
Feeling foggy and old
stitched up and worn

Use my jacket as a blanket
as I lie in the eye of the storm
as I rest and transform
bare and naked
wholehearted again
as a man with many faces.

I struggle with
broken
yet wholesome thoughts
as I feel the pain
of that very contradiction

lines of progress intertwine
like our bodies
but I crave
double helix through life
a dance, fundamental,
seperate, yet connected
parallel, yet revolving
around eachother

is what I crave fair?
is what I need just?
Or do I need to double-helix
my feelings and thoughts?

I have changed
and you are changing
each to move more to be ourselves
and once that process is complete
Will we still match?
Or will we dance to
a different beat?

Serene views..
Way past curfew
Lucas Arruda
and the sweet
sound of the waves
softly landing ashore
fusing with the music
and landscape
relaxing the space

A cool breeze cruises  through
like soft emotions moving you
the gentle rustling of the leaves
providing a complete symphony
the Palms sway in harmony
with the waves on the beach

The soft whisper of burning wood and fire
Shadows bobbing on the sand
and the stars flickering light
bring a marvelous sight
the arm of the milky way
opening a view, seen far and wide
It's my blueprint of the world
but still it is a raw design