Stuck in your own circles of confirmation
Facebook-algorithms inspired from
your circled ignorance
Peel off all your words
and all that's left
is a question in regards of your own acknowledgement
seeking affirmation of your own existence
a deep desire for your true self to be seen by others
yet you keep on hiding it
subliminally and subconciously showing it
in your own incongruent behavior
over and over and over and over

do you have any idea
how ******* annoying it is
to hear someone being stuck on repeat?

go look at yourself in the ******* mirror.
cuz I'm done repeating myself.
Seek your own answers.

Ooh Old One, yet so young
Whose habits are etched into my body
Emotional scars, physically invisible
You can't see, but you could feel..

Place your hand on my lower back
Run your hands up and down my neck
Feel my calves, thighs,
shoulders, everything still so tight

Yet my mind is light
my smile is genuine

Hardships are guided
for a safe landing inside me
Tears run down my cheek
Close my eyes and see

All kinds of me,
Sadness, Happiness, Anger,
all running up to me
Smiling, greeting, consoling me,

So what I see
is that I need a soft home
For my inner family.

Perish in a world not yours
because you haven't made your world yours
drifting alone on a penteconter
one man, manning, fifty oars

A gold seeker in your golden world
Never to return to your city
Because all you do is seek
All you do is find
but you never acknowledge

In search for heaven on this world
You travel and travel,
meet people and people
Been everywhere, experienced elsewhere
Yet have never dared to travel
within yourself
The only place, truly worth to see

Why do people dare to skydive?
Go through the length of all such extremeties
but are so afraid to face themselves?
To find the calm inside the turblence?
Your world is yours.

Head in the clouds,
Feet on the ground,

No need for a mentality check
Comfortable in a blanket
and my anxiety wrap
I'm chill.
I'm good.

Got food for thought that'll last of days

A connectivity check
Emotions relaxed
breathing....in
smiling....out

Walking a steady pace
when "I hear a funky beat
The music is so heavy
It's going straight to my feet"

On this mellow brick road.

A death that was foreseen,
yet a consequence was not,
The end of pain and loss
was met with acceptance and love
and inspiration slipped from my grasp
and I tried all the tricks in the book
to keep my pen writing

And I wish it were as simple
as going out and buying a new pen
From what source do I draw out ink,
when on the road to selflove and acceptance?
When old questions and doubts
have met with answers and a clear path?

I used to talk and write
About being forgotten and lost
My path brought me to my knees
Did it not?
The poems were moments of
Silence...
...
And descriptions of the turbulence
Within
Of movement
Where I'd dig deeper

A dog
Eagerly looking for buried bones
In forgotten moments
That passed by within the blink of my inner eye

But never have I described
The walk I walk
Never have I shown you
My vulnerability
Because I love her as dearly
And protect her behind my masks
And silence

Maybe another time
A different poem
When I no longer fear your rejection
Maybe when I no longer crave your acknowledgement
But find fulfillment in my own

Will I show you
The wisdom of that small child inside me
Who carries a closed book titled potential
Maybe then..
Will I show you
For now I'll hide it in my words.

These hands have never written a word
a thought or a feeling.
They have never captured the essence.
Never reached the centre.
These hands will never shine.
What writes is only my heart
and mind.