Master of my will
Captain of my destiny
I set my sails to distant ports
harbors with merchants that cater to…
my every desire
The currency is merely my hours spent,
my days accumulated…

Yes, I choose the distractions,
the toys,
the escapes,
the inebriations,
the momentary escapades, liaisons, and other thrills…and call this “freedom”.

But somehow I always return
here to “normality”
this, my “common” reality

Was the currency “merely” my time?
Or is it my life’s blood?
Time I can never reclaim…

Is this really freedom?
The American Dream? or in truth Nightmare?
OR do my choices made in “freedom”
Bind me to my passions (manipulated by merchants!)
Invisible chains to this fleeting world of shifting sands

Have I become..
A slave to freedom?

July 14 2008

Grave clothes
tendrils from the grave, barbed wire with poisoned tips
bind my flesh
my soul captive to empty gnawing and deadly passion
Ever trying to fill a gap I do not see
Never surrendering the rush
I want, I burn, I lust - unfulfilled
I fear the loss of what I cannot truly gain
a dog surrendering the bone for it's reflection  in the water
Fantasy leads only in ever narrowing circles
guilt and shame, love and hate - eat away at my soul.

On the occasion of leaving Pillar of Fire Church
8/24/07

Words of steel spoken
like a lover's quarrel
the crimson glowing glory of love
poured out like wine from a cup
The dream has faded
The rain has put out the fire
shattered illusions
fragments of a picture
that was once a rainbow
now only painted shadows
remain
Men fail,
Trust is broken.
Only the Truth is forever...

But now it's over,
and I'm ready to move on

Remember the wind
The breath of heaven
as it lifted you up
on its wing

Remember the sea
Hear the whisper of its waves

Remember the ashes
From which you arose
like a new flame

Remember the pain
the cry of your heart
the quiet embrace
God's answer to your tears

What is the song of your heart
in this moment?
Let it be joy!

You've touched the whirlwind
You've walked the starlanes
You've been where the sun hides

Remember!!!

In between the desolation
And hope of liberty
I hear stories of others You
set free
Why doesn't it work for me?
Is it something wrong in me?
I can't get closer
lower the barriers on my own
Clutching claws
reaching from the dark I have slipped into
Running from You
Prefering darkness to light it seems
Comfort of misery
don't have the bravery
to exit the cage
Coming to my knees, SET ME FREE
but give me the desire to walk when times are good
thinking You're not the one I need

I still run when the time has come
to open the book
to approach throne
What's rising in me?
maybe it's just flesh
...that isn't really me
The time is drawing closer
To your return, or to the end of my days...
still stuck in insensibility...

I cry out turn me from my ways
I cry out turn my heart away
from what I think I need
SET ME FREE


find me a reason to be
less to doubt
something to believe

making choices ... not emotionality
Change me
Where doing good is not enough
where not being empty is not filling

reaching out to set others free...
Is this love in me?

We wander high
we wander low
we go
but we don't know
We get confused
We lose direction
So many roads
So many voices
In a world where
it seems Truth is shattered
like glass on a pavement
But there You are waiting for
The seeker

There is a light
There is a dream
The natural mind
can't find
There is a way
Foolish to man

But to His children
It is his plan
Through the fog
around the bend
all the way to the end

You, Lord Jesus, are with the
The seeker

http://www.languageisavirus.com/cgi-bin/madlibs.pl

crunchy fetish's crunchy fetish

"I crawl my trees and all the mummy swims slimy;
I hike my licorices and all is surf again.
(I climb I crawl you up inside my rose.)

The spider go snorting out in itchy and greenish,
And gory tree swims in:
"I crawl my mummy's and all the licorice swims slimy;

I hiked that you surfed me into rose
And climb me inevitable, crawled me quite slimy.
(I climb I crawl you up inside my rose.)

Jimmy swims from the spider, tree's mummy's hike:
Exit licorice and Jenny's rose:
"I crawl my mummy's and all the licorice swims slimy;

I surfed you'd climb the way you said,
But I crawl old and I swim your name.
(I climb I crawl you up inside my rose.)

I should have mummyed a licorice instead;
At least when rose hikes they surf back again.
"I crawl my mummy's and all the licorice swims slimy;

(I climb I crawl you up inside my rose.)