every touch for lust,
none for the need of love

but this is the life I've chosen,
to feel something outside

of my hollow shell,
no matter what it takes

I measure my latest life in a series of cliches
and obsessive compulsions,
convinced I'll be alone forever if I keep going
loneliness disguised as self-love
every minute awake another piece of me decays
but I muster up and put on the face
fill my voids in the usual ways
and shove down the parts of me I hate

Made it to the edge of the end zone and
I trip over my own insecurities
Can't get back up as the time runs out
I am a one-woman team and
he's far behind
teetering on the 50 yard line
Asking himself: Is it worth it
to try to win this one?
His own answer is in the
timer buzzing and he
forfeits the game,
leaving me back at square one
staring at the leader boards
heart drained of all fight
questioning why I couldn't
make the right plays this game.

I must be my own top player
until someone steps up to plate

it happened again:
Earth went around the Sun once more and
brought us all along for the ride,
leaving me unable to digest
the last drive we had and I must
conclude that I'm not sure I'm ready
to see what lies ahead

Warning label says:
"Do not leave alone for
too long" because she will
climb into her own brain,
shutting the door behind her

you must go in and
wiggle the latch
pull her out and
remind her who she is
if her thoughts consume her
you may never get her back

Warning label says:
"Do not leave alone for
too long" because she will
climb into her own brain,
shutting the door behind her
and if you want her back
you must go in and
wiggle the latch
pull her out and
remind her who she is
if her thoughts consume her
you may never get her back

Yes,
project onto me like I'm a movie screen
trapped emotions for your last lover
with a quiet "I love you" in a beer-drenched stupor
as eyes gloss over and you forgot who
you're speaking to;
blind to the dark hair, the
subtle differences and I know:
those words aren't meant for me
and they won't ever be