I want to feel in love again,
I want the comfort of it all.
I want to rest my head in the lap
of a new man
and smile, happy that the first
was not the last.

My surrender was a spicy-chicken sandwich. No lettuce.
I placed it on the kitchen island:
a white flag, asking for forgiveness.

There was no smile. Quiet acceptance.
My wallet would grow thin
with the make-up gifts.

If only we could have solved it
rather than masking the issues
with the scent of mediocre fast-food.

I see the vicious cycle.
A culprit of my own self loathing.
Yet I fall for it.

I'd never felt that way;
instead watched
the boy whose first
innocence I took
emotionally invest
in other girls.

Maybe you should focus less on my actions
and instead, reconsider yours.
It takes two people to **** everything up.

the final leaf
drifts off an oak tree
as the snowflakes
wait on the cloud's
starting line
far above,
hoping to be
the first one
to hit the ground
and win
against the Fall

I did it for once. I made my own decision. Of course, one can hope they make the right choice.