"To each her own"
I say to my friends
who are insisting
they need to lose weight,
As I choke on a
piece of pizza
I ate too quick

A relationship based on
lies and deceit
is no relationship at all

It was already long ruined
and I ****** on the pieces

What I say bounces
off of you and back onto me
I reabsorb my own words
into my bloodstream

shallow is the understatement
to express your intents
towards our pseudo friendship

you are far above,
wrapped in your nonchalant cloud
your only concerns:
"will the weather be nice enough
to golf tomorrow?

are the wheels on my new car
shined well enough?"

just because you do not try
to be any deeper in life
than a kiddie pool
does not mean I should stoop down to you

Feel the drunk room spinning
sloshed in *****
as I stumble up the stairs
attempting to make it
to the bathroom

instead my guts empty everywhere

now I, back for good,
notice
you still give me
the very same look
as you did
when we sat on
my dorm room bed
nervous freshmen
anticipating
each other's next
move
and in this current June heat
I find that
time continues with you

the fear of being content with life stems from
convincing yourself that as soon as things are
going well and you grin sheepishly at the people
you love,

that angry hand called depression pulls you back under
momentarily reminding you that
things falter and moods change