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1d · 37
THAT GIRL
Ya, I'm sad girl,
I'm a hurt girl,
Sink to the bottom,
Float to the top girl,
Because I want more,
Even though I'm still sore,
I can't play at the bottom and let it soak,
Cut my oxygen but I'll never croak,
Hold all my pain back in a chokehold,
Yes I'm a bad *****,
Got that mad itch,
Dont step over my toes I'll make your eye twitch,
The blood on my hands,
I had em wiped clean,
And there's nothing more they can take from me,
I had nothing to lose,
Everything to gain,
And life's just another roller coaster another gamble in this card game.
1d · 20
CALLOUS
My hands are hard and callous,
Veins swollen,
Skin's tight,
I can barely close my fist,
My fingers stiff and unaligned,
Each knuckle bares a scar,
From each tooth and chin I made contact with,
Arthritic, numb, & unapologetic,
Sore fists still swinging blows,
Although it hurts to use them...
Stubborn is the host,
And even if these hands are battered,
When I draw blood it's the moment I savor the most,
I'm quick to anger,
There is no cool off until a blood vessel is expanded,
I'm cold with malice,
These hands are calloused,
Don't **** with me if you ain't ready for the bleed
1d · 12
TEMU GIRL
He said I found someone,
I really like her,
She wears glasses,
Reminds me of you,
She's on the bigger side,
She's independent too,
But she supports LGBTQ,
I said: Haaa that's gay!
"don't **** it up now" ,
She sounds like a softer version of me wow,
He says: "she's tomboyish but she's kinda lazy she talks too much, she might get clingy" ...
I said: "that's too bad, maybe that's not water weight"
But honey there's only one of me,
You said you didn't like me *** I'm too ******* mean,
Now you got a girl that's " kinda like me"
You make comparisons but I'm a limited edition and deep down you know she's just the temu version of me
I'm one of a kind,
Nobody's girl,
Highly addictive,
Short in supply,
Some try to claim me,
Some try to see me,
But I'm like a shooting star that flies by once in lifetime,
I'm easy to love,
But hard to swallow,
Boys try to catch me but I'm like catching lighting in a bottle,
I runaway from love at full throttle,
Drown my sorrows at the end of a bottle,
I'm like a butterfly that can't fly when it loses powder in its wings,
I won't land on your flowers and get caught in a dead end dream,
Silly boy's  pollen is just poison to me,
You can catch me like a firefly if   I can keep your love by my bedside in my battered heart shaped box
1d · 15
DREARY
It's eerie..
Every time I see that 14th st sign,
It's hopeless..
Sitting on this Blvd of broken dreams today,
It's hollow..
This place that ****** the soul out of my chest without any warning,
It's dreary..
Seeing the ghost of us every morning at the slab when you're no longer there,
It's frightening..
How your permanent silence left messages on that green electrical box long after your body decayed,
It's carvings..
On a nearby tree that leaves the only sign of our existence that day,
It's heavy..
To know that even if your body died that day my soul still stayed to accompany you in death,
It's pain..
All that I can taste when I drive down that street to this very day
1d · 33
HEAVY
My mind's heavy with the words I don't say,
My hands are ***** with the work I put in,

My soul is drenched with the blood that I sprayed,
My body's covered in the scars of the pain,

I fought to gain more than I could get,
But my life's been a gamble for the bet that I've placed,

It ain't ok to think about the things I don't say,
But if I say them..
I'll be in four point restraints,

It's heavy..
But I have a mean poker face,
I don't show it..
I grimace through my dismay,

I told you,
My mind's heavy and you can't live in this space,
I'm a head case therapy and pills don't work for this damaged case
1d · 12
MARGINS
I was skipping on that fine line of life and death,
I was running through the trenches and drug habits,

Not for a second did I fear it,
In fact, I loved every moment of it,
The fast life gave me a taste for the hell I've made,

I made my bed,
Now I gotta lay in it,
It's about time I got up and set it a flame,
I'm here to stay,
No overdosing today,

But I'm living in the margins with no one to blame,

Yea, I told him:
"You either bring it to me or I'll go find it"
Like danger was the only thing that I craved,

And I normalized the needle to vain,
The monkey on my back grew into an ape,
And I couldn't get enough so I ate and ate,
Til my stomach was sick and my life's a mess,

Hey, this wasn't the future I saw for myself,
And now I'm sitting on the sidelines of could-have-beens,

I could've been smart,
Could've been great,
I could've stayed in school and built my mansion on bricks,

Instead I deviated the plan and it was plagued,
I was blinded by puppy love and the money I made,

It's safe to say pretty soon I needed a place to stay,
Because the home that I built was never a safe place,

It's taken me 9yrs to repair the damage I made,
And I'm still on the margins of my duality where there is no escape
Jan 4 · 28
KISS THE SUN
ScaR SavagE Jan 4
I kissed the sun,
I raised the dead,
I took another shot to the head,
he asked me "baby you need another one? You good?"
And I said "I'm ok",
I took that shot of matchstick ******, leaned back on momma's bed,
turned blue I flatlined then,
I kissed the sun,
I joined the dead,
The baby's screaming like an alarm clock and she crawls to me,
Im drenched,
I wake,
He says "sorry baby your face is gonna hurt tomorrow"
He says "you stopped breathing and you were blue we threw you in the tub there's no response",
"We slapped the **** out of you" ,
I licked the sun,
Flirted with death,
I tasted for once all the damage I had done,
Momma came home she never knew just hours ago her baby laid dead in her bed,
This was the 3rd time that I blotted out the sun,
And it's the last time I'll take my soul back
Jan 4 · 29
CAPTIVE
ScaR SavagE Jan 4
He's gone,
But I'm still here,
He's held me captive for so many years now,
I've stopped having those dreams where I've moved on but always returned to my torturous old home,
Where he won't allow me another lover,
Where I am no longer comfortable in,
Where it no longer brings warmth or joy,
Just a vision of my ruins pain and despair,
I have a chastity hugging my throat,
From it hangs a rose crystal meant for healing,
But in return only holds me as it's only prisoner
Jan 4 · 27
LOVE ME WHEN I'M GONE
ScaR SavagE Jan 4
The fire has long expired,
This one sided love got me bored and n tired,
You said you never saw me like that,
Like I was never to be loved,
Like I was never your girl and that's fine,
I get better with the time,
I'm that girl that ages like fine wine,
You're a grape that rotted off my vine,
Every word out of your mouth nothing but lies,
But now another one caught my eye,
And unlike you I know how to say goodbye,
And now I know you'll love me when I'm gone,
Love me when I'm DONE,
Miss me when you no longer can pick up that line,
Thought you can keep me in the back burner,
But honey I'm the burn and hurt you when I take my heart back,
And you can diss me when I laugh,
Miss me when you cry,
I always knew I'd leave a mark,
Leave a scar,
Leave your ***** bagged up in the back of my car,
And it will never matter what you do,
I will never come back to you,
And you can love me when I'm gone,
Miss me when I'm done,
But there is nothing you can have that I will ever, ever want
Oct 2024 · 46
PLUNGER
ScaR SavagE Oct 2024
Push the plunger,
Pull the thread,
Stars in my eyes,
I can be anything when I am HiiGH,
Kiss me sweetly,
Blood on my lips,
Licked that poison off the top of a needle,
Push the plunger,
Stars in my eyes,
I only love you when I’m high,
After the train has left the station…
***** dont touch me!!
It stings like broken glass,
Left these track marks all on my arms,
Push the plunger,
Pull the thread,
I am nothing when I am DEAD
Oct 2024 · 40
TEASE THE THOUGHT
ScaR SavagE Oct 2024
I tease the thought of what love could be,
I tease the thought with a fine toothed comb,
Weaving intricate designs that appeal to the eye and mind,
I think about all the fruits he brought,
Sweet tooth tricked my brain into thinking bitter fruit was bliss,
I tease the thought of love with ease,
But the bitter after taste stung my lips with a poisoned kiss,
I flirt with the fantasy that love may be real,
I **** the flame the moment I feel,
I've walked the walk enough times to know...
That love teases me and I don't tease it.
Oct 2024 · 35
LIE OF MY LIFE
ScaR SavagE Oct 2024
I wanna wrap my arm around yours,
I wanna lean my head on your shoulder,
I wanna blow smoke to the sky
I want you to see the stars in my eyes,
Glossy, glossy, feel so high,
Glassy, Glassy, feels so nice,
I wanna feel special like I know I'm not,
I wanna fall in love with the lie of my life,
I wanna feel like that time I almost died,
I wanna feel your heart beat in mine,
I wanna lay with you like I always craved for,
I wanna walk away like I never knew ya,
I wanna fall in love with the lie,
I wanna kiss you under the stars,
I wanna swallow the smoke you blow in my eyes,
I wanna feel, touch, kiss, ****, sleep under a blanket of stars,
I wanna feel high, be alive just this ONE time
Oct 2024 · 35
SHY
ScaR SavagE Oct 2024
SHY
You said you're really good in bed,
And I might have to put you to the test,
You said you made love like a God,
But I gave you a taste and lemme tell you it wasn't ****,
All I did was lay there like the dead,

1,2,3 pumps you were all fluff just like a loaf of bread,
You couldn't tickle me if the joke was funny,

I got up and I left that bedroom running,
You were such a hack in bed!
You were such a lousy **** Wish I was dead,

Maybe your shy,
Maybe your not,
Maybe I make men nervous, And your talk looks more like Child's Play,

I'll give you one more chance to change my mind,
I'll give you one more chance to make it up to me,
You know me now,
So you can stop being shy,

Oh no, oh God it was terrible AGAIN!
1 pump..
1 1/2...
A minute man,
I guess I won't be seeing you again,

Your bed game ***** and your attitude stinks more than my regret,
I changed my mind,
I rather go blind,
I rather ******* than to let you make it "up" or down to me again.
A poem of a lousy fxxk
Oct 2024 · 51
AMMONIA DRENCHED FLOWERS
ScaR SavagE Oct 2024
"AMMONIA DRENCHED FLOWERS"

They say if you like a flower let it grow,
Do not pick it before it grows,
I saw pretty flowers grow..
Amongst the silver and the gold,
A silhouette against a reddening sun,
Under my boots the clatter of crumbling rocks,
Trying to find relief why keeping modesty,
A sea of yellow sour flowers fold upon the fields,
As I water them up against the wall,
I ****** upon the flowers,
As pretty as they were,
They fill the air with the pungent scent of ammonia,
A visit from every vagabond, misplaced person, or ghosts in living in shells,
That walked the yellow brick road before I died
Oct 2024 · 36
FREEDOM
ScaR SavagE Oct 2024
We are not free when we're always fighting,
What are we fighting for?

We fight for peace,
we fight at wars,
we fight in the name of the lord but whose god is the most?

The reasons for which we fight for has been lost in translation lost for reasons unknown,

Freedom is not free,
Freedom is not yours,
Nor is it mines at all,

We fight for equality,
Fight for a government that fills its own pockets with the blood and the sweat of the poor,

Fat cats get larger,
Cash turned to plastic,
Poverty stricken our hungry souls,
We starve in our own home country while we feed the ones throwing stones,

Freedom is not free,
Freedom is not yours,
Nor is it mine at all,

We fight for identity but yet still have an identity crisis,
And no one knows who they are anymore,

We're controlled by pandemics,
Killed off by a virus,
We vote but our voice still isn't our own.
Apr 2023 · 146
"THE EXPLODING HEART"
ScaR SavagE Apr 2023
Sometimes, I can't hold it together,
My silence isn't really strength,
Sometimes, it's an emotional shock,
So my silence is to keep me from falling apart,
Sometimes, I just need a solid a hug,
To keep all my broken pieces from falling apart,
But sometimes, it's just too much to ask,
Because everyone assumes I'm in no need for human affection,
Most times, I just hold my breath,
I feel my exploding heart in my neck,
Sometimes, I just need a hug,
Something genuine where people aren't trying to take advantage to feel me up.
Jul 2022 · 286
WHEN THE SIREN SCREAMS
ScaR SavagE Jul 2022
Have you ever seen a banshee cry?
Or heard a siren scream?
Have you ever seen such beauty in her tragedies?

Have you ever questioned why the banshee stays screaming?
Maybe her screaming is actually weeping,
Have you ever wondered WHY the Siren serenades?
Maybe her song is a lullaby of death,

Her beautiful song sings a melody of disdain,
And the banshee's unpleasant exterior is a reflection of her everlasting ache,

And maybe just maybe I can relate..
To two different types of creatures from land and sea with feelings astray,

Pretty on the outside,
Putrid on the inside,
Singing, screaming songs of pains and woes,
Masking the aches through alluring songs and enchanted smiles,

But you KNOW that when the Siren SCREAMS instead of sings they took something so dear to validate her painful tune of decay
Apr 2022 · 155
SHE SMELLS LIKE
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
She's like Hypnotic Poison,
A bittersweet juicy fruit,
But fallen far from the rotten tree,
Her kiss like belladonna,
The beautiful flower also known as Deadly nightshade,
It all depends on how you approach her,
A sour patch kid,
she can be sweet but then she's sour,
She throws hands like an older brother,
But she can be loving like a mother,
Her love is like a gamble,
It all depends on the deck you handle,
To those fortunate enough to know her...  She's a bubbly comforting ray of sunshine on the gloomiest of days,
Although she's stained with pain,
It's beautiful to see,
It makes you feel like your not stained by life and misery,
Sometimes you'll miss her sorrow,
It lets you know SHES REAL,
She wears the stain of life so well,
As if parading the latest trend,
She makes a mockery of all her pain,
like she never felt the sting of it,
He says she smells like a smoke machine,
I guess the compliment is fitting,
She clouds the mind then dissapates,
As easily as she came,
She's open yet her walls are high,
Puts the wall of china to shame,
She only brings her walls down,
If you stop trying to climb them,
She's sickly sweet like ******,
Addicting, she feels good but you know you can't control her,
She swallows your soul whole,
she draws out your darkest secrets,
Romanticizing all of it,
She smells like a Halloween smoke machine,
Smoke and mirrors,
A tantalizing scene,
She drinks like she's about to swallow an entire ocean,
Inhales cigarettes and *** like it gives her air to breath,
She covers up the smell of disdain,
But she's still a smoke machine,
And everyone calls her Savage but her name is PRIMA JEAN
Inspired by a boy who said I smell like a smoke machine
Apr 2022 · 117
THE BROKEN HALF PRINCESS
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
There once was a broken half princess,
That needed a well matching half,
She one day pulled out her heart,
Then kept it safe in a jar,
It floated in her tears for months and months,
A year or 2 later shook that old jar,
And saw it has been long enough,
With fear in her mind and hope in her heart,
She finally opened that jar,
Along came a prince in her sight,
she thought was worthy enough,
So she trusted him with her broken heart,
He held it until it was warm,
Then heard it beat like a drum,
She said "FINALLY, put it back in its place",
The charming prince completed her broken half,
Months later she started to rot,
With the stench of deceit and a wandering eye,
She thought she was more than enough.... For him to crown her #1,
Sometime later he decided she wasn't enough,
Now Dethroned to take second place,
When she asked why he lied in her face,
With his guitar played her a melody of decay,
Quickly draining her of a beautiful soul,
Her body riddled with pain,
As his body was stained with someone else's skin,
Like it was some kinda of twisted parade,
The broken princess said "I've had enough!",
So she pulled out her bleeding heart and tore it in half,
Saddened with his selfishness,
She locked herself up in that tower again,
This prince kissed her cheek that poisoned her skin,
Then she said: "sorry I wasn't enough...."  And never dared to love again
       -Dedicated to: Hector G.
Apr 2022 · 107
YOU HAVENT SEEN ME SMILE
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
You haven't seen me smile..
For a long, long time now,
I bet you thought the light's out,
I bet you thought nobody's home,
Well, I haven't been around much...
But I guarantee you I was still here,
I was watching from a distance,
What you do in shadows thinking I'm not there,
You haven't seen her smile in a while,
I bet you thought you cut her lights out,
Your like a Double sided 2-faced coin,
Thought you could handle two guns and a fire,
You got your finger in the trigger...
But your trigger finger's MINE,
Shot yourself in one foot,
And tripped over the other,
I bet you saw her cry alot,
I bet you told your friends,
We haven't smiled for a while ...
But we'll see who's laughing at the END.
#betrayal
Apr 2022 · 104
-BABYGIRL-
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
The day I gave you life,
Heard your first gasp was the scariest day of my life,
It was wholesome, it was AWESOME,
It was THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE,
The day you took your first steps you bumped your head and didn't even make a sound,
I swooped you up, carried you in my arms & off to the Doctor we went,
But everything was ok,
The day you were ***** trained, you picked up so fast,
And by surprise learned something we have never taught you,
The day your father died,
YOU'RE ALL I HAD & a piece of me also died with dad,
And you were such a big girl... You watched me slowly decay in bed,
I never cried, but I died for days on END,

You told me:
"Mommy, everything is going to be ok, I love you.. YOU ARE THE BEST MOMMY EVER"

And those were the best words I ever heard in my existence,
It's always been just you and me, and now the distance it's killing me again,
But I know I'm working on myself today,
It aches in my soul EVERYDAY...
But babygirl... it's ALL FOR YOU,
And we will be together again someday.
A poem to my Daughter
Apr 2022 · 116
DEAR REMI
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
All you have is my silence,
Because you've heard me vent and talk all day,
And now I'm in your absence And i don't know what to say,
Now that I come home to nothing it's starting to feel like my gilded cage,
And now i ain't got nothing but the four walls and the static noise inside my head,
There's a million things I wish I could have done better,
But all in all I'm thankful for those days you stuck with me thru stormy weather,
And losing you means so much more than anyone could ever know,
Our silent bond was strong like carbide it radiated in volumes,
And now the silence seems so loud I have so many feelings that words can't muster...
But you will ALWAYS have ALL MY LOVE in this static silence and a special place within my cardboard heart
#demise#pet#rat
Apr 2022 · 100
SMILE FOR A WEEK
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
Your like a fake diamond ring,
Pretty to look at but can only make me smile for a week,
Before the vagueness of it's molecule turns your finger green,
Ya, I'm saying you are fake as ****,
You and your buddy are just sitting ducks,
*** I don't give a **** about a soul now,
I was on my way to turn into solid gold but how?
Now that you reminded me exactly why I only trust myself and **** everybody else!
I'm on a mission to destroy you,
Ya, you came in really strong shinning like a golden dollar,
But now with time you've lost all your luster,
It's too bad,
So sad,
You can never treat a woman right,
Now tell me who's the lonely one now?
Tell me what you really got?
Show me what I haven't got?
Tell this bitter melon again that her anger will keep her lonely until her dying day,
Who the hell is gonna keep you company?
No one!
*** no one likes a narcissistic liar,
No one trust a flaunter,
All the evidence of your destruction is making you sink faster!
I told you!
**** with me,
I'll ******* twice,
I will destroy your entire life,
Everything you held so dear that you cherish will be mine,
I will strip you like a freshly waxed floor of your ego, your ***** appointments coming to a sudden halt, that job that makes you all that money imma take that too,
You made a grave mistake in thinking that I was too weak to get away,
My pain isn't a weakness it's my energy,
I'm small but blow up in your hand like a hand grande ,
I locked my sights onto you I'm coming in silent like a ******,
Shoot to ****,
Trust me I got an Ill will,
Your fake as ****,
Could only make me smile for about a week,
then after that you turn the soul to green,
but not me!
I don't even have a soul to sell,
I pawned that **** so long ago,
I am something that you won't forget until your dead,
Run that sorry line by me again,
Prove to me your a "Real Man",
I'll pull your sheets as your on your knees kissing my hands,
I can assure you I am something you will definitely regret!
Apr 2022 · 83
BLACK HORSE
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
I was in a rush,
Rush that pushed too far,
Weekend warrior converted to a carrier for the monkey on her back,
She can handle the monkey on her back...
******* it's a gorilla now,
Holds her tightly in a chokehold,
Dispersing inner demons, rage and a pseudo sense of happiness,
Years now passed living thru her hollow shell,
She don't feel.. not anymore,
Not since she jumped back on that black horse,
It was time to retire this tired horse,
And her broken soul as well,
Too many years she saw her soul mixed in a silver spoon and needle,
She learned to tame an unrelenting horse,
For years with no triggers at all,
Then suddenly the silent killer crossed her path again....
Beckoned her BACK,
It's so alluring... Her mystery,
But it's just a trap,
And here I find myself again riding the black horse on an aluminum foil road,
Watching life disappear... as she's lost up in smoke.
#tar#relapse
Apr 2022 · 87
BY MY SKIN
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
I am judged by my skin ONLY,
Frowned upon on by my skin,
Minimized by my skin.

Opportunity and second chances are never given,
I'm taken for granted,
Treated like a dummy,
BY MY SKIN,

Not by race, sexuality, social status or my gender,
But by the way I chose to express myself,
By the way I turned my body into art,
A road map of collaborated stories,
Permanently imbedded in my skin,

I face prejudice and disapproving scrunched up glances on a DAILY,
As if I'm a walking sin,
Not because I'm black, white, red or yellow.... But because of the Ink tattooed upon my skin,

Because I chose to match the outside with what's on the inside,
Because I'm not ashamed to display who I really am,
I don't live by the approval of others,
I balance on the razors edge on a DAILY,

I cut my chances to come up by half,
When I chose to mark my skin,
Because being tattooed, a walking work of art, a circus sideshow freak show,
Is just like being black,

I'M JUDGED BY MY APPEARANCE ALONE,
In the ignorant public eyes I'm just an uneducated high school dropout, gangbanger, criminal or addict,
Even though IM NONE OF THOSE THINGS,
Never given the chance to know me,
Just dismiss me *** they think they KNOW ME,

People lock their doors when I walk by,
Hide their children, wallets, and belongings,
Despite my education, my experience and lengthy diverse resumes,
They won't hire me because they judge me BY MY SKIN.
Apr 2022 · 87
RECYCLED SOULS
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
I have come across many broken souls,
Angel's that fell from heaven and landed in blood,
We are the degenerate generation,
Victims of environment and circumstance,
Those who had no guidance stood no chance,
Some were thrown to snake pit and didn't last,
Some of us brushed off the dust and just danced,
Unscathed like water couldn't touch a flame,
Looked the devil in the face told him I was game,
I'm no lame and I'll step over all his flames,
Everyday I come across another story that reigned in blood and glory,
Gives enough of a spark to ignite a fire in me,
Everytime I feel weak I remember all the faces, and the stories every angel bathed in blood had told me,
Never lie down,  prove them all wrong and conquer thee,
Then only then will your soul truly be FREE.
Apr 2022 · 92
WE DON'T TALK
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
Today I had a really exciting day,
I couldn't wait to send you a txt but ..... Wait..
I forget, that was yesterday..
And today's another day I'm alone AGAIN,
But I couldn't wait to vent,
And I couldn't wait to laugh, I completely forgot that you aren't there & this is our last good bye,
And I have no one else to pass the time,
Dry my own tears every night,
Like it's just a piece of pie,
And I can't tell you how many times I wanna die,
But I keep it all inside,
*** I'm not yours,
And you were never mine,
I hold myself at night to keep all my pieces in place inside,
So I don't lose my whole self this time,
And I picked up the phone to tell you what's on my mind,
But we ain't cool like that,
You ****** up my whole mind,
Im screaming deep inside and no one pays me any mind,
I smiled when I saw your name pop up,
I wanted to make you laugh,
Picked up the phone then I  remembered... We are done,
And we don't talk like that anymore.
Apr 2022 · 236
IN THE DARK
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
Sometimes I miss the DARKNESS..
It's where I always feel safe,
Where shadows never follow... Because they are created by LIGHT,
I've NEVER been a child of God,
I frolick in the night,
Sometimes I even miss the PAIN,
It makes me feel ALIVE,
They say "Come to the Light"
But that's too close to DYING, like flirting with suicide,
Sometimes I miss the darkness...
It's cool, crisp kiss upon thy cheek,
Right here I can cry FREELY,
And no one See's a tear,
I'm married to the darkness,
His cold- hearted bride frozen in Suspended time,
Because everybody knows if you follow the light...
YOU ARE SOON TO DIE,
And no one escapes the REAPER... for you cannot DIE TWICE.
Apr 2022 · 77
HER LAST PARTING WORDS
ScaR SavagE Apr 2022
I knew this day was coming..
WE knew it all along,
We didn't know when or where,
Dreaded that fateful call,
It was a sunny summer July day,
A day that soon turned grey,
On the 7th day of the 7th month your body would start decay,
It's a day I'll NEVER forget,
I day I'll never miss,
But it's not that day that hurt me the most.... It was the day BEFORE,
In the parking lot at Jon's liquor store,
When out her mouth came out these words:
"DADDY, I LOVE YOU, I want things to go back the way they used to be... It hurts me to see you out here this way"

At 6 yrs old her last parting words, they stung to me the most,
A week before they both were born,
I took the biggest pill I ever swallowed,
Soon that sunny summer day faded into grey,
I didn't cry, I didn't scream,
I went silent and NUMB for about a week,
That day I heard my soul shatter like glass,
He took a piece of me with him..
But it was her last parting words that BROKE my heart that day.
ScaR SavagE Oct 2020
I love your insecurities,
The things you see,that I don't see,
I examine you like a specimen, a wonder, like a new invention,
You'll never catch me staring,
But I'll tell you that I do,
I may not use words to express all that I harbor....
But, I use the language of my body and the curves of my spine,
Quench your thirst with my lips,
Press the mass of you against my borders,
I'll use all the things I Despise about myself, like I see no fault in them,
I'll kiss every scar on your body and caress everything you hate about yourself,
I'll change the bad taste on your tongue with a kiss sweet as cherry wine,
And although I throw blows like the arms of a brother,
I am tender with the love of a mother,
And I don't fear to see what your afraid to reveal,
I crave to taste all of you...
the good, the bad, the ugly. ALL THE THINGS YOU HATE YOURSELF.
-Scar Savage
Oct 2020 · 98
THE VOID IN THE SKY
ScaR SavagE Oct 2020
If I wish upon a star will my dreams ever come true?
If I hold the moon in my hands will I absorb it's light?
And if I do will it be bright enough for you to see me?
In the dark?
If I cover myself with the milky Way will it feel just like your embrace?
Or will I only be a miniscule speck in the mass of all its majesty?
Will I ever be the Apple of your eye?
And the fire in your *****?
Will my love burn hotter than the scorching sun or will you let it turn to ashes?
Will a kiss on the lips and a touch of your soul make you believe...
I am worthy enough to be placed on the highest pedal stool in the kingdom of your torn up heart?
Can two broken people put all their broken pieces together and mend the damage of lover's past.
or are we just too broken a void in the sky.
-Scar Savage
Oct 2020 · 82
SANCTUARY
ScaR SavagE Oct 2020
He said he was suffocating under the thumb of her love,
But HE called her a breath of fresh air,
He said he felt trapped by the life they had built,
But HE called all her boobie traps home,
He said he was blinded by puppy love,
But HE called her blinding love light,
He said the fire was dying there's nothing left inside,
But HE saw a smoldering flame that just needed the oxygen to live,
He said he felt imprisoned by her unwavering love...
But the other man called her his SANCTUARY.
Oct 2020 · 70
GALAXY BOOM
ScaR SavagE Oct 2020
You and I have a pull that makes everyone gravitate toward you,
Like a magnet of an opposite gravitational pull,
But we are two different stars in the same milky Way,
I am sorrowful and melancholy,
You are charismatic and endearing,
Yet this opposite attraction makes for the best distraction,
Your strong presence makes flowers bow at your feet,
While my silent manipulation demands respect when I walk into the room,
I set wild fires with every step,
While you send rain to smoother flame,
You and I are not so different...
In fact were one in the same,
We both inhabit in outer space,
And one can't be the other without each other,
Your like a supernova burning bright, ignites the sky until it finally explodes,
And I am like the black hole left behind after a super sonic galaxy boom.
Apr 2019 · 142
Crack’d
ScaR SavagE Apr 2019
You didn’t break the girl
Just nearly cracked her
She spun around so fast
She’s out of sight now

You didn’t break the girl
Just barely scratched her
Covers the damage you have done
It’s all despite you

Got close enough that you could touch her
you ****** that up, but how?
She’s miles from you now

She fills the cracks,
same way you fill the pavement when it has a crack or two

Cosmetic fix,
****** mix,
It’s in her blood too,
Beneath the makeup there’s a scar or two,

You didn’t break the girl....
Just left her cracked against the sidewalk,
You can fix a broken mirror but....
You’ll ALWAYS see the crack in it,
It stares right at you,

And with two glass eyes she’ll stare you down too.
Apr 2019 · 178
“I'm Woman”
ScaR SavagE Apr 2019
We’re women.
Men have it easy....
Home is not the house you stand upon nor is it the land it’s sitting on,
It’s WOMEN,
We are the neck in which ever direction I turn, turns your head,
This house is a house of paper cards,
It crumbles in a fire,
It rots in water,
It’s WOMEN,
The backbone, the care & the shelter you call HOME,
Without ME...
you are just a man standing, children crying, lost and pouting,
I am a WOMAN,
Bringer of life,
Maker of Home & Love,
I am NEVER allowed to be seen crying,
To show emotion or have feelings,
We are “meant to look pretty” smile with grace thru the grit of my teeth,
I must remain a WOMAN.
Taker of all that’s impossible,
Splitting myself into so many others to...
Warm up your HOME, soften your heart when it’s too cold and rigid,
I am a WOMAN,
Always expected to be strong,
Full proof SMILE thru the ache and weakness,
So your house is not your HOME.
It is I WOMAN birthing of life,maker of husbands and home,
It is I WOMAN that rules the earth that makes your happy place
HOME.
Apr 2019 · 155
Sleeveless”
ScaR SavagE Apr 2019
I wear my ❤️ upon my sleeve
For all of you to SEE
Incase you thought I couldn’t feel...
But I feel EVERYTHING
Apr 2019 · 126
“Oh Well”
ScaR SavagE Apr 2019
I Press the cigarette against my skin until it bubbles and it pops,
Like water does when you over boil it,
I pick the scab until it bleeds
In the same way you left me,
I hurt myself to rid the pain,
But I don’t feel a thing,
I blur the lines between the versions of myself,
You call the monster within me, because the girl is nowhere to be seen,
I drown my sorrows by the sea,
I let you in but, you never saw me,
Then yet again...
I don’t know the reflection that stands before me,
I hoped with time the wound would heal, but that was just a myth,
I split myself into pieces so small you can’t ever collect,
They say I’ll go to heaven,
if only I repent,
But it’s too late.. I’ve become the serpent you regret,
I’ll wrap myself around you til your dying breath,
I’ll take you down below the ground to hell and you will never tell,
Scream and cry all that you want,
but no one will hear you now,
You thought that I was through with you,
Like you were through with me,
And all that I can really say is: “Oh well!"
With a side glance and a crooked smile.
Apr 2019 · 138
HOLE
ScaR SavagE Apr 2019
I've got a great big hole inside of me,
It’s eating up the rest of me,
I got a nasty case of the empty,
I stuff it with my vices but it never fills,
I don’t recognize the girl before me,
I let you take the rest of her,
I made my vow,
I’ll never love anyone again,
I’ll never open,
Never smile,
Never sing another song again,
I’ve got a great big hole inside of me,
Killing all that used to be,
I wear a shell,
You couldn’t tell?
I fake it very well,
**** it to hell,
I’ve worn this disguise since the day I fell.
Apr 2019 · 527
SUMMER-LOVE
ScaR SavagE Apr 2019
Don’t fall in love with me,
We know I’m not the one,
Don’t set your sights on me,
You know she’s just far gone,
Don’t try to buy my love,
Get clingy then I run,
I don’t believe in summer fun,
With summer love I’m DONE.
Apr 2019 · 120
SUMMER-DUMP
ScaR SavagE Apr 2019
I watch em frolick in the sun,
Reminiscing of a time...
A time when I was happy in the sun,
Now I stand here in the shade,
Cursing summer that I now hate,
I watch em holding hands,
Tied together with rubber bands,
They lean into each other share a kiss,
Something that I truly miss,
Was hoping love would last FOREVER....
But all I was a summer dump
Mar 2019 · 131
MOTHER NATURE
ScaR SavagE Mar 2019
You run thru my forests,
Set fires thru my grassy
Dry hair,
I warm your homes with firewood,
And feed your hunger with wildlife for it is in my nature,
You drink from my rivers,
I quench your thirst with my bodies of water,
You poison my oceans with the waste of your spills,
The curves of my body provide lands in which you foolishly ****, with your littering and machines you created,
I give you air to breathe so you may exist within my being,
My clouds cry acidic rain in despair of the abuse you may bring,
My lands & oceans make a blueprint that is my body...
I make life your very existstance,
But you've damaged my O-Zone layer,
Giving no care like a player,
Polluted my air with your venomous clouds,
And depleting my oxygen with every tree you've cut down,
You gamble in my deserts,
Sin in my cities, claim foreign lands,
But I can be alpha &/or Omega.. the beginning or the end of life,
I sing you faint lullaby's you can hear in the atmosphere,
You can feel the curves of my body in my forests, mountains, lakes and sea's,
You can ******* sorrow with every icy raindrop,
You can rejoice in the scent of the damp earth on a rainy day, the sweetness of a rose in a garden, or the bliss of a pine in a forest,
I am home to all that bleeds,
Mother to all that breathes,
I am the foundation of life,
I am mother to all... I am Mother Nature.
Feb 2019 · 154
Prima Jean
ScaR SavagE Feb 2019
I don't know who else to talk to...
I see a shrink but I can't even spill,
I got so many things to say but when it comes down to it the words and thoughts don't escape my lips,
The heaviness of the load is hard to carry,
The only time I can release is in the dark under the moonlight,
I walk outside, stare at the sky have lonely conversations with myself,
I feel so lost,
I have no will to even try to get myself out,
I look at myself now and I don't know who I am...
I don't like what I see,
I don't even recognize the reflection the stares upon me,
I can't even see the me before all of this,
I've gone so far that I can't even reach the old me,
The infinity of the nothingness I feel is quickly devouring me,
I contemplated suicide almost everyday,
The only reason that I stay is because I'm not that selfish,
I wanna die, I want to so bad but now I'm bound and I cannot go thru with it,
I cannot leave my baby with the emptiness Her father left me with after his death,
I grit my teeth and bare the weight,
My bones are slowly crushing,
But I can't leave my baby girl with the pain and hopelessness my passing will implant within
Feb 2019 · 129
FELLOW FRIEND
ScaR SavagE Feb 2019
Most times I stay silent,
My sight wandering off into space, into day, into the nothingness of life,
A billion of scrambled hopeless thoughts racing to crowd dark crevices of my mind,
Infecting the wellness of my psyche,
A cancer that makes you powerless in agonizing pain,
And I don't ask for much....
I don't wanna burden anyone with the weight I carry,
So I keep it,
Carry it.. til my arms are too heavy to hold up,
Til my legs give out and my knees bend with a struggle,
I don't expect much...
I don't want much,
I just needed ONE,
One person I can call a friend,
One person that can hold my hand....
One person I can say I can count on,
One person I can release all my anguish out to so that the weight don't wear we down,
Just one,
One person who cares,
Just one person whom I can count on BELIEVE KNOW that Everytime I'm in need they got me,
No hesitation, trade or game,
Just a true fellow friend
Feb 2019 · 123
"Daddy Didn't Call"
ScaR SavagE Feb 2019
Mommy, why Daddy didn't call?
She didn't know he'll never call again,
Not on this birthday or the next,
He left this Earth for a better place,
I couldn't bare to see her cry,
Not on this day,
This is HER day,
But the awful truth was eating me,
As I contemplated what words to say,
How to explain.. HE'S GONE.
She says:
"Mommy, can we look for Daddy?"
I held my breath,
We rode a train and then she said:
"He's not here.. I can't feel him.."
She knew the truth before it was ever said,
I knew that dreaded day would come,
When I'd have to tell her why,
Why he hasn't met up with her under the tree everyday for school,
Why he didn't call to say happy birthday to her that day,
So I put together a scrapbook,
Of all our memories with Dad,
One night as we swing side by side at the park,
I finally told her why....
I heard her heart cracking in half,
And this is why Daddy didn't call that day.
Feb 2019 · 151
The One
ScaR SavagE Feb 2019
Is she the one?
Truly, The ONE??
The one that eases stresses with just a sideways smile,
The one who's voice brings color to your world,
Tell me,
Did you find THE One?
The one that you were searching for,
The one talked and dreamed about both day and night,
Tell me... Is she the one?
The one that brings the sun to your grey days,
The one that kisses all your pains,
Is she the one you reach for at night?
When your body craves for warmth,
Is she the one that makes you feel invincible?
The one your heart skips beats for,
Tell me..
Have you found the one everyone speaks of?
The girl that compliments your dreams,
The girl that's equally your half?
Is she the one...?
The one that plants fluttering butterflies in your gut,
The one that completes your being?
Tell me.. is she the one to bear your children?
The most beautiful woman you ever seen?
Have you found the one who's scent is sweetness to you,
The one who's flaws you find perfection in,
Tell me have you found the girl who's touch you miss,
The one you never ever want to let go?
Tell me..
Have you found the one you want FOREVER,
The one that's home to you?
Tell me love, have you found the one you can be your true self with?
The one that wasn't me
Feb 2019 · 158
SHADOWS OF THE SEA
ScaR SavagE Feb 2019
She danced in circles by the Sea,
Barefoot, a hypnotic scene,
He gazed in awww, as her silhouette met with the sunset
A view like this has to be heaven sent,
she danced in circles as if carefree, drowning her sorrows by the Sea,
He watched her fondly... and for a minute buried all his woes,
under the sand where no one goes,
just for a moment in time the world rolls on,
We're stuck in a gaze,
We shared agony and love with such a Grace,
For one last time she danced in circles against a reddening sunset,
Eyes locked she got to see....
for one last time,
His smile,
His laughter and his humanity
This poem is about my late husband watching me hula hoop.  Just one of the few normal memories I have of him before his mental illness and demise.
Jan 2019 · 307
DAILY DOSE
ScaR SavagE Jan 2019
One pill for this,
One pill for that,
One pill to tilt,
One pill to numb,
One pill closer to dumb,
One pill to feel,
One pill to cry,
One pill to live,
One pill too close to die,
One pill to replace... and fill the hole you left behind.
Jan 2019 · 132
RAIN
ScaR SavagE Jan 2019
The rain keeps falling,
It's pooling at my feet,
It's also washing, **** it's clearing away all my dreams,
I'm left in disbelief of all the dreams that were piling at the gutter of my defective will,
I tell myself look just chill one day your will, will be done,
I sit here waiting look out the window watching raindrops fall,
Oh **** it's acid rain here to burn holes thru my brain,
I cannot cope my will it drains,
It's collecting in the rain,
My melancholic state reciprocates my gloom surrounding and the soul that's cracking deep within.
Jan 2019 · 150
LIFE-LINE
ScaR SavagE Jan 2019
I thought you were my life line,
But nah, you were my flat line,
The day that I was born you took my breath away,
And not in a good way,
I left myself and any good left in me that day...
The day you decided this should end,
I thought you were a direct line,
To my life ***,
But you were just a straight shot,
To a flat line,
My demise,
I thought you threw me a line,
To help me up,
Instead you were a death trap,
Painted in beautiful colors
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