ScaR SavagE

ScaR SavagE Feb 2019

Mommy, why Daddy didn't call?
She didn't know he'll never call again,
Not on this birthday or the next,
He left this Earth for a better place,
I couldn't bare to see her cry,
Not on this day,
This is HER day,
But the awful truth was eating me,
As I contemplated what words to say,
How to explain.. HE'S GONE.
She says:
"Mommy, can we look for Daddy?"
I held my breath,
We rode a train and then she said:
"He's not here.. I can't feel him.."
She knew the truth before it was ever said,
I knew that dreaded day would come,
When I'd have to tell her why,
Why he hasn't met up with her under the tree everyday for school,
Why he didn't call to say happy birthday to you,
So I put together a scrapbook,
Of all our memories with Dad,
One night as we swing side by side at the park,
I finally told her why....
I heard her heart cracking in half,
And this is why Daddy didn't call that day.

ScaR SavagE Feb 2019

The One

Is she the one?
Truly, The ONE??
The one that eases stresses with just a sideways smile,
The one who's voice brings color to your world,
Tell me,
Did you find THE One?
The one that you were searching for,
The one talked and dreamed about both day and night,
Tell me... Is she the one?
The one that brings the sun to your grey days,
The one that kisses all your pains,
Is she the one you reach for at night?
When your body craves for warmth,
Is she the one that makes you feel invincible?
The one your heart skips beats for,
Tell me..
Have you found the one everyone speaks of?
The girl that compliments your dreams,
The girl that's equally your half?
Is she the one...?
The one that plants fluttering butterflies in your gut,
The one that completes your being?
Tell me.. is she the one to bear your children?
The most beautiful woman you ever seen?
Have you found the one who's scent is sweetness to you,
The one who's flaws you find perfection in,
Tell me have you found the girl who's touch you miss,
The one you never ever want to let go?
Tell me..
Have you found the one you want FOREVER,
The one that's home to you?
Tell me love, have you found the one you can be your true self with?
The one that wasn't me

ScaR SavagE Feb 2019

SHADOWS OF THE SEA

She danced in circles by the Sea,
Barefoot, a hypnotic scene,
He gazed in awww, as her silhouette met with the sunset
A view like this has to be heaven sent,
she danced in circles as if carefree, drowning her sorrows by the Sea,
He watched her fondly... and for a minute buried all his woes,
under the sand where no one goes,
just for a moment in time the world rolls on,
We're stuck in a gaze,
We shared agony and love with such a Grace,
For one last time she danced in circles against a reddening sunset,
Eyes locked she got to see....
for one last time,
His smile,
His laughter and his humanity

This poem is about my late husband watching me hula hoop. Just one of the few normal memories I have of him before his mental illness and demise.

ScaR SavagE Jan 2019

DAILY DOSE

One pill for this,
One pill for that,
One pill to tilt,
One pill to numb,
One pill closer to dumb,
One pill to feel,
One pill to cry,
One pill to live,
One pill too close to die,
One pill to replace... and fill the hole you left behind.

ScaR SavagE Jan 2019

RAIN

The rain keeps falling,
It's pooling at my feet,
It's also washing, **** it's clearing away all my dreams,
I'm left in disbelief of all the dreams that were piling at the gutter of my defective will,
I tell myself look just chill one day your will, will be done,
I sit here waiting look out the window watching raindrops fall,
Oh **** it's acid rain here to burn holes thru my brain,
I cannot cope my will it drains,
It's collecting in the rain,
My melancholic state reciprocates my gloom surrounding and the soul that's cracking deep within.

ScaR SavagE Jan 2019

LIFE-LINE

I thought you were my life line,
But nah, you were my flat line,
The day that I was born you took my breath away,
And not in a good way,
I left myself and any good left in me that day...
The day you decided this should end,
I thought you were a direct line,
To my life ***,
But you were just a straight shot,
To a flat line,
My demise,
I thought you threw me a line,
To help me up,
Instead you were a death trap,
Painted in beautiful colors

ScaR SavagE Jan 2019

CLOSETS TO THE HEART

I wouldn't be so lost...
If you would have just stayed with me..
I lost my place,
I lost my head,
I'm running in circles with no end,
I keep you to my left,
Left is closest to the heart,
I loved you more than I could ever love myself,
I wasted time..
I wasted my peace of mind,
on YOU,
****, I wasted a lifetime when I erased your mistakes,
Your not my lover not even my friend,
Your now just a stranger that got lost in my head.