They say the eyes are the souls reflection and she knew what she saw in my eyes. She stared at me deeply and lovingly but what she saw was no surprise. She said, “Mommy, please no more tears. No more sad words. No more bad thoughts.” Oh sweet child, you shouldn’t have to endure my pain. It hurt me more than I could ever imagine to know she could feel the angst I had inside. She felt my worries, she felt my grief, she felt the loneliness and the heartache. This misery we’ve been living that I couldn’t do anything about. She knew I was shattered, broken and completely torn apart. How can I be the strength, the matriarch, the role model when all I could do was cry. My tears filling an abyss of all I held inside. I told her, “Don’t you worry, everything is going to be okay. Mommy will be fine. All we need to do is pray.” So here I am, praying that my eyes don’t reflect my souls reflection. Praying time will heal the wounds. Praying my little girl will feel the comfort in my words and knowing our prayers will be answered soon.
Sometimes, all we can do is pray.