I'm not scared to die.

I'm not scared of pain.

I'm not scared of what can be used against me.

I'm not scared of you.

I am greater.

I am better.

I am more powerful.

I have nothing left to lose.

I sit in my perfect elysium,
A beautiful world, full of happy faces.

I dream of my perfect life here in paradise,
I look around at the happy faces,
Of people drinking tea and children laughing.

I look around and see them in this life of pandemonium.
I see the red puddles on the floor, the uneaten food, the scavenging vultures and the families.

And I smile,
At least they're happy. At least they are with their families.

With their slashed open faces to create leering twisted smirks of the living undead. With piles of rotten corpses and tortured survivors.

With the cries and cruel laughter of the children of my underworld.
Standing with shadows and blunt blades,
Awaiting the chance to shed blood.

It looks like they fell down the wrong rabbit hole.

One does wonder how they are still falling,
Visiting the beautiful Alice, with her chest ripped apart and flesh hanging from her wounds.

But then again,

Wonderland has never been so pretty has it my dear Alice

The warmth of the sun on my neck as I leant in...
The breeze, blowing a strand of hair across her face...
Her blush as I slowly caress her cheek and brush the amazing hair away from her perfect eyes...

The way that she licked her beautiful red lips...
Birds chirping and the crashwaves rolling in...
Her, nervously chewing her bottom lip as she looks up at me...

The taste of her lips, as I press them against my own, the sun burning on the back of my neck.
Her hair blowing in the breeze, blowing everywhere,
But neither of us stopping as we're lost in that moment.

My hands rest on her cheeks, hers around my shoulders...
The sand beneath our feet, and the dunes behind us, picture it...

Is it when everytime your heart beats you feel a stabbing sensation and like you'll surely die?
Is it when every breath sends a slicing pain through your chest?
Is it when you've not slept for an entire week because they left you for your best mate?

Is it when you will still be there for her and walk through the pain, run to her, crawl to her if you have to, just so long as you reach you to make sure she's safe if she needs you?

Is it when you've not slept for an entire week, and your heart is ripping apart inside your chest and you're falling apart and you still smile and remember every little detail about her?

Is it when you want nothing more than for her to be happy with her new boyfriend, but at the same time you want to wake up and it all be a nightmare and she's still with you, is that love?

I'm a mess,
My heads not straight and I can barely think,
I'm barely alive just going through the motions.

I see you,
And you're gorgeous,
But shy,
Thick lidded eyes, Thick dark brown hair, dark enough to be black,
Heavily shaded eyes making you look dangerous,

It scares me,
I don't know how to feel,
Before you go,
I beg
"Can you whisper sweet nothings to me like no one has before"

You took my number.
You smiled.
I smiled.
I was scared.
I didn't get your number.

You called.
It wasn't your phone....

When I get your number, will you call?