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Saffron Mar 2020
I'm addicted.
Addicted to sloth and starvation,
it's taken it's toll on me, total taxation.

I'm addicted.
Injecting negativity with a needle,
it's becoming crippling, I'm feeble.

I'm addicted.
Hallucinogens consumed as late as midnight,
and yet, despite the previously stated,
this is what makes you say,
"Who'd want to be with an addict", right?
Saffron Mar 2020
Please, beat me more with that
love of yours.
Spiked baseball bat of attachment
to start the score.

Blades of warmth and compassion
cut me 'till I bleed.
I lose all sense of meaning
and let my feelings take the lead.

Yet now, these injuries I have to hide,
they must be contained.
For the docile and painless estrangement,
is what left me in the most pain.
Saffron Mar 2020
While you may find it excessive,
my wardrobe's full to the brim with pretty pink dresses,
and further to the back,
are the skeletons hanging on frail racks.
Leave them be,
you don't need to see.
Saffron Mar 2020
Last night a had a dream,
Sweet flavors,
Blueberry and vanilla ice cream.

You were there, I could see;
we smiled.
But I woke up,
Just like in real life,
It wasn't meant to be.
Saffron Mar 2020
"I'm fine!"
A lie, but yet again you read between the lines.
Yet, you're angry, and we argue;
Our relationship now askew.
Saffron Mar 2020
Everyday, spitting out hollow words.
Empty laughs and void smiles.
Meaningless such as I,
unknown as to how to make myself whole.
Saffron Mar 2020
Lock it away, these old feelings.
Left with no other choice, concealing
those thoughts, once bright and cherry red,
now paled and fickle.
Come, listen,
I'll choke out an elegy, to my love now dead.
Saffron Mar 2020
Just put me out of my misery.
Strangle my feelings,
until they croak.
And **** my heart,
until it stops hurting.
Saffron Mar 2020
An awful case of morning sickness.
It seems yet again I'm afflicted.
Involuntary bouts of vomiting,
all the empty words I've been bottling.
Saffron Mar 2020
The muscles in my cheeks ache,
from holding this pointless smile.
My eyes are darkened and empty,
yet I'm grinning all the while!
Saffron Mar 2020
As spring approaches, flowers blossom.
The sweet, pink colors are a joy,
when I come across some.

The best thing about spring to me, if I must be honest,
is that this is the time,
when the branches are the strongest.

Yes, I love how the crisp air makes the bright green leaves saturate,
and the fact the oak tree branches,
won't snap under my weight.
Saffron Mar 2020
It's been fading over time,
but I'm sure if I keep it up
everything will be fine.

Don't stop, keep those feelings disconnected,
maybe then
this love will be requited.
Saffron Mar 2020
It turned out just like I thought,
I should have seen it coming that night.
Not being able to stop it, I cry,
I hate when I'm right.
Saffron Mar 2020
"I'm fine", the words crawl out of my throat.
Gross and slimy, I spit them out.
Telling such blatant lies,
I'm starting to feel sick.
Saffron Mar 2020
You inspire me.
I wish I could be as oblivious
to my own pain
as you are to it.
Saffron Mar 2020
It's awful that it had to end like this,
nothing left to do now but reminisce.
My heartbeat slowly comes to a halt,
I realize it's all my fault.
Saffron Mar 2020
I know you can see it,
I know we both can,
but I'm begging you not to ask,
what's behind the crack in my mask.
Saffron Mar 2020
I'm wretched, I utter.
My only purpose is to clutter
your life while I suffer
this self-imposed inferiority complex;
my heart's nothing but an object
to you.

I'm horrible, I say.
Your face, a pale grey,
We're both in dismay,
I'm not horrible, you proclaim.
How do I say,
It's you who makes me feel this way?

— The End —