I love the
way her
smile kisses
the sun while
she speaks
Head tilted
back
gazing at its
beauty
She was
breathtaking

Some people's
mouths are
like syrupy
fountains
spewing cloy
dew drops
clotted up
by porcelain
love stories
Their honey suckle
flavored tears
drowing youthful
spirits

I have this
animalistic
hunger
for the taste
of your
earthy skin
The way
you lick
your lips
and press your
fingers into
my ribs
leaving me
like a gushing
spring
Like bitter
wine
I cant wait
to lick from
your heaving
chest
Eat me like
a cherry
And I'll make
you feel
fireworks
swell up your
thighs
traveling through me
hard and slow

Sometimes
when my wrists
burn
and my
heart
hums a little too
softly
I dream of
swimming
in my river
of light
Letting my soul
basks in its
milky waves
My heart
quenching its
thirst
And only then
will i drink
too

I want nothing
more
than my unhappiness
to dissolve
like sugar

I fear the
unknown
but it lures
me in
like an
Ill-mannered
feline
unwilling to
be tamed

i knew i would
lose her
to someone else
but it
still hurts

the pain
of not being
enough for her
tears me apart

and i am
empty

i wish that
one day
my words
will lay
crisply between
your index finger
and thumb
on pristine white
feather like
pages

loving someone
who fears
emotion
is a tragic
love story

if i were
to explain
the feeling
of her lips
on mine
it would be
as if the stars
were to melt
into a river
of light
birthing sweet
honey suckle
blossoms

i love the
way
snow kisses
the earth
ever so lightly
first subtly
then
passionately

i felt his
heavy hands
pin me down
and panic
spreads throughout
me like
wildfire
there is no
going back
to those burnt
remains

i felt uneasy
in the arms
of a heart consisting of
candle wax
and brittle
bones
where *** hungry
feinds break their
teeth

loving someone so
fragile
was like a
glass house
who threw stones for protection
always and forever
on gaurd
i'd tiptoe through
the halls
as if the floors
were ice
and i had no choice
but to cross
i couldn't leave
because then
how could i relive
memories in a
different home?

That stone filled
stomach feeling
Which leaves me aching
for days
Feels like glutony
for heartache
Tie me to a
cinder block and
push me off
your docks of
midnight madness
Then slowly but with
force
Swallow me whole
until i feel nothing
but falling
out of love

Everything that gives
me pain
echos
in waves
I find myself
staring at
the wall
wishing to be higher
than the stars
and sky
being away
from it all
Maybe then I can
dream
of smooth milky
kisses
and sunny
baths
that leave my skin
tingling

Right now
I feel cold
Bones that sing
like a decrepit
abandoned home
Greasy skin
and wild curls that
are blacker than
any sober 2 am
morning

I wish to be
higher than the clouds
to swim in their
cottony pillows
oh how sweet

I´ve dreamed once
of smokey chamomile
rooms
wine soaked
sheets
and bottled bleach
Yellow, oily ceilings
that droop down
while I sleep
The walls
crumble
while my
eyes turn
murky gray
all I see are
shades and
shapes
rough and rugged
textured pieces of
mud
drenched debree
everything turns to
ash
and I couldn´t breathe
Black demon like
clouds of charcoal
monsters
gnawing at my
lungs
drowning me

Most of the time
when i´m alone
or I space out
i have that heavy
feeling
where its a mix of
being disconnected to people
around me and
myself
I don´t feel like
¨myself¨
I haven´t felt like
I was me
since 10th grade
I feel washed out
and everything I do
day to day
is just me
going through the motions
Sometimes I feel like this
and its hard to
get over it
I´m not sure if there´s
such thing as
getting over it
Sometimes its hard for me
to even remember what makes me happy
No amount of painting or music can
motivate me
It usually does
So now all i can do
is sleep
Only then it feels like
I can shut out
that heavy feeling
I wrote this thinking it would help
they say it helps
but it didn´t

I sometimes
don't wanna
exist
because why bother
waking up
in screaming
darkness
that makes me afraid
of heading to school
to feel all of the penetrating
sounds fall silent
Crusted sidewalks
with broken bottles
and ripped up
letters of empty
promises from family
members who never
show up
Empty stomachs
stained clothes
and a school system
who cares a little less
each day
But then there's
that one who makes the
day go from
dragging to
floating on cottony
childlike dreams
Whether it be
a parent
Or that sweetie
that turns your
cheeks red
I look forward to
that person
everyday
Once my eyes
flutter open
and the sun
spills its honey
milk rays
I think of
my sunflower
warm sweet
and undying
in my eyes

There was once
a being
with swelling bones
and a glass blown
heart
Eyes that turned
into liquid
pools of sunlight
and gleaming caves
of glowing
silk beauties
Every bone in their body
Seemed to deteriorate
like the rotted wood
that held together
the stability
of their mental state
Where lines were drawn
messily onto
hard wood walls
And as they grew
so did the lines
Dinners were made
and beds too
There were times where they
cried
every night
because of the
inevitability
No more
waking up to a warm bed
and soft sweet kisses
from the distant
sun
No more
streaky paintings
painful runs
and random mishaps
at the small market
that sold their favorite
salty snacks
Until one day
they met that person
that made everything
a little more
bearable
That electric pulse
that swam through their veins
when they simply
nudged knuckles
and battered sneakers
That one they thought of
right when their brain
flickered on
and all they could think of
was how the other
played with their hair
and bit their lip
as they read
That need for answers
of why bad things happened
vanished because
how would you enjoy
something so
pure like them
if everything else seemed
to shine just as bright
as them

I wish to inspire
the world
the way a mother
inspires her
child

There will be times
you will wake up
and realize that
sadness is
inevitable
That one person
you thought
could no longer hurt
your midday dreams
now aches
and swells
like an oil
burn from
early morning
soggy cakes
and black toast
That sadness
so deep
it feels like a
cold
empty well
that dreams to
hear the melodious
echos
of a young girl
And at times
tears will fall
watering the
withering lilies
of sleepless
nights
You'll fall madly
in love
It will consume
your soul
and leave butterfly
kisses on your
mended heart
No matter how well
you are doing
You will feel
that old pain
that sings softly
in the distance
And that's okay
because those bitter
sweet
droplets of
cloudy memories
made you
who you are
today

He reminds me
of warm
summer rain
that beats down
on rusted
paint can
lids
That endless
drumming that
swells my lungs
with honey melon
sweet nectar
He reminds me
of warm
clay
that melts
like butter
in saccharine
batches
of short lived
molded memories
now blossoming
like fresh tulips
in dark
earthy mounds
He is my
rain man
Like a strong storm
that dies down
just to kiss
the lakes that
bleed into
minty puddles
Fierce
and undying
he survived
all the
ash filled
chocolate boxes
and
empty
phone calls
from home
He is the
rain man

In a chaotic
world of
media hungry
oil dumping
maniacs
We all seem to
build a
liquidized
bubble of opinions
that form
around our
bulbous heads
as infants
spewing knowledge
like an uncontrollable
spring

Our ideas
chopped down
Like oak trees
in a sparse
forest
No longer holding
that nostalgic
dream of
fighting dragons

Now only holding
what seems to
be a building
of self crippling
worthless merchandise
and rotting wood

I like the way
some words
crunch
between my teeth
and slide off
my tongue
like butter

that creamy
frothy bite
which tingles your
your lips

A language
so beautiful
leaves me starving
for more

Almost as if it
were an unquenchable
thirst for sticky
lines
that swells your
heart strings
when those words
are spoken

Poetry is a banquet
for hungry souls

everyday it feels
as if i hunt
for more
to digest

plunging in whole
heartidly
In a wordy abyss

That gut wrenching
throat tightening
excitement
that i can’t seem
To grasp onto

That is what i crave for

She stood on the edge of
the cliff,
admiring the flourescent
lights of doddling parties,
held for glutinous beings
who craved attention.
Powedered up in canceruous pink
and frilled garments.
They danced along with a
buzz that foreshadowed
a crash of glass and metal.
Bright green hair,
held back tight with soft blue
bows
She hopped down rock by rock
Letting her seaweed like locks
Swim through the wind
The music becomes louder and
faster
People drink until their stomachs
fill with sparkling poison

There was a time
where she smiled
for no reason

When dandelions
tickled her silly
and clouds
reminded her of marshmallow
fluff

When rain would drip down
in a waterfall of color
And she would itch
to taste
Its bitterness
To feel its depth of
icy kisses
To see it
fall like sullen
tears
and hear it sing sweet lullabies

All of her senses
seemed to melt
like candle wax

And when home became
a featherless memory
she would dream of
crisp ironed sheets,
creaky floorboards
and baked ******
bread

She was once jovial
Free
to roam
the invisible world
that thrived in forests
and oceans

That saccharine
saltiness
that rolled off her tongue
to whisper
now decomposed
wishes of
tomorrow

There was a time in my life
where i loved God so much
that i prayed desperatley
in the night
The moon washing
over me softly like silk
with tiny hands clasped together
i prayed for things to get better

Along with yellow stained walls
and a clatter of beer cans
off into the distant
I prayed

I thanked god
For giving me my mom
and grandmother
I thanked god for the food
That mom prepared for us
I thanked him for the roof
over my head
and for the waves of happiness
that the church brought to me
I prayed for my dad
I wanted him to care

The day i started to lose faith was like
the breaking of glass
I stood before a deacon
soaked from the rain
curls dripping down
my worn young face

I begged to be blessed again
I needed that feeling one last time
The overwhelming feeling of sunshine
warmth, and honey
I needed to feel God’s hand in
my life

To know he still existed
That he didn’t leave me alone
with my alcoholic dad
and shattered mom

That he was there ready
to give me strength

Days passed
weeks grew into months
and i was forgotten by the church

I began highschool
With empty hope that soon
withered away like an unwatered
flower

I hunger for words
I cant seem to compile
in my endlessly spiraling
brain

At the blooming age of 18    
I knew what i wanted
Face up to wrinkled canopy and
smoky waves crashing down on me
I inhaled smooth
Blueberry clouds
releasing thick waves
Softly through
My lips

I thought about her that day
I closed my eyes
picturing
aquamarine eyes
that could drown
city after city
Consuming everything in its path
however cool
and calm
Like a  river

Laying there with the hot sun
on my face
I recollected that day
slow and sweet
kisses that left sparks
that caught fire
burning everything around us
until it all melted into a
brilliant river of light

Her velvet touch
Honey milk kisses
and a voice that dripped
like wet paint

She reminds me of blue
like a bright
sky
One that made you close
your eyes to feel
the sun bath you
with sweat trickling down
the soft edges of
your jawline

She reminds me
of sunflower fields
that swayed lightly
in the cool afternoon of summer
A hint of dew
That seemed to melt
off their petals

She was beautiful
her mind, body and soul

She saw the world
as it was
Like delicately blown glass
filled with dandelion fuzz
and saw dust

She was art so greatly defined
made by satiny
clay
and as years
flew by
she became more defined
with age

and her soul
was a jewel
undescribable

Amidst the thicket of people
stood, lanky and broad
a girl of color
Fine, smooth skin
That tasted of mint and
Charred woods
And with the crowd
she swayed like the waves
on a beach
Endlessly pushing the bank
with deep blues and moss green
Softly, her lips drawn
and eyes fixated on the swirling
lights that encased the room
Men and women
Of all shapes and colors
pirouette in an endless haze
that she couldn’t seem to grasp
Onward she looks
her hair flawlessly blankets
her diamond face
Fuzzy and smudged from
Cosnuming everything that left a lifelong sense
Of tingles and laughter
A man in the form of red
finds his way to her
They twirl, caper and sway
to the music that drowned out
their sense of mind
And with a sip
Of bitter juices that seemed
to melt her body like butter
She fell in his arms
Finally the moon sleeps
and the sun rises with happiness and glory
basking the earth in its light
awakes the girl with flawless hair
and midnight skin
Sheets stained with cranberry and
Steel
She soon realizes
She didn’t ask for this
the long smothering kisses
and ripping of fabric
She didn’t ask for the endless glasses
of tasteless drinks
and bruised skin
She didn’t ask for it

Is as deep as anger
that burns beneath the cuts
on your lips
its a shiver of betrayal
and uncertainty
Red
Is the scream you let
burst out in a gust of wind
and ruins cities
destroys every little
quaint home that overlfowed
with purples and pinks
Red
Is the color that
beats beneath your ribs
and tingles your fingertips
Red
Is the color
that i never want to see
leave your skin
or flood the rivers in which
we swim
Red
is love
hate
and betrayal
Red
Is what fades into
the sea of orange
Yellows and greens
Red
Is what lightly kisses
the sky at dawn
It’s what makes others
love passionately
It’s what ends the life of some
Brings light to others
Red
Is what makes a night
of drinking and messy kisses
a blur of excitement
and dread
Red
Is what i fear

Is the only thing I think about now
Being tired is the only thing that consumes me
The obsessiveness to sleep eats me whole
And I just…

want
to
sleep

Everything seems like its swirling around me like a tornado
but to you it's a draft in a vacant house
Sleep, it's so simple
but it's the hardest thing I could ever obtain
the thought of never waking up again
is a craving i cannot feed
the cold fingers of anxiety grip me
and it's what leaves burn marks during steaming hot showers
it's the feeling of drowning in heavy piles of words made of dirt
mud, grease and sweat
every word has a taste, texture and smell that makes you
Lust for more. Ache for the words that will quench your thirst
Those words….they are the ones that keep you up at night

Those words are the ones that keep you waiting till 1 am but
they never seem to show
they are the ones you can't seem to grasp
The unspoken ones
The ones that make you studder
The ones that make you so frustrated that you can't think straight
They are the ones that make your lip quiver and heart ache
And that feeling for me will never go away

I was walkin down the street
Saw a pretty girl with black hair
And ***** feet
She had no money
Her father spent it all on ****
Lonely and afraid she sat on corners
Wishin for a bite to eat

I told my teacher what i saw
And she said
If i had money to pay for meals
If i had it to pay these bills
If i stopped these wars that ****
I would do it but life ain’t fair
I teach these kids but they still fail
I work three jobs but i can’t bail
Life is hard. Life is rough.
Just go home kid and **** it up

I saw a man, working hard
He served his country
Now has no job
He’s pushin carts and collecting cans
Tossed aside from society
He has no plans

I told the mailman what i saw
And he said
If i had money to pay for meals
If i had it to pay these bills
If i stopped these wars that ****
I would do it but life ain’t fair
I do my job, i do it right
I return hot and tired each night
I have no family, i live alone
Life just ain’t fair kid
So just move along

Rushing waves of euphoria and kilig left a bitter sweet taste. Busted lips and bruised knuckles were just remnants of what had happened that day. Addicted to the rush, you came everyday to play the same game.

The yelling,
the screaming,
the fighting,

it filled you up. You were no longer starving. Her touch was sweet, you loved the way she looked at you. Her enticing green eyes begged you stay. To not hurt her again. The way they pooled up and burst like a raging waterfall when you threatened to leave. The longing kisses, the tight hugs and whispering of lies. It’s what you dreamed of. You loved the romance but you were starving for so much more. And that’s why you kept coming back. You wanted to be hurt. Your broken heart screamed for it. But she had nothing but love to give.