There is always a new man sitting next to me
This one is humming
The last one carried a crane and tried to speak while I was eating
I was rude but what they don't know any single one of these guys sitting next to me, different every time,
Is that I have an hour to eat and drink drink drink
Till I forget about the job and the house and the friends I've hurt
One hour with nothing to do but refuel

I think a person needs more than one hour but
Time is like the water
Tightening when it's cold and
Retracting when it's warmed with the breath of lovers

My lenses become the shade of
Cranberry lemonade
Food sits uneaten in front of me

these are the conditions i **** myself under

never wanted anyone to smell me from the inside
feel the rattle neath my skin
i never wanted my skull to be a keepsake

sometimes you get so mad you could break your own neck
you could key every car in the parking lot

don't cry
i've got two
two
one for me
and one for you

You can give yourself so foolishly and recklessly -
you can’t -
you can’t just abandon yourself at the side of the highway and take your shell of a body -
hitchhike into the backseat of a car and the car looks good from the outside just like you are on the inside -
it’s all right but that doesn’t mean you were meant to be
that doesn’t mean you should just dive in headfirst jump into the backseat it doesn’t mean that at all -
all that it means is -
you look good from the outside and you’re warm inside too, just a shell of the body even you misconstrued

I bet you just fall asleep
It is unrealistic and silly to me
Honestly.

(Find all the poems with “honestly,” make a song out of them.)

Or maybe I make you crazy enough to stay awake
Doesn’t make much of a difference to me
Till I drink and then I think
You mean something to me
Can’t trust yourself when there’s two of you

Flashing vision from the third eye
Don’t think about it
Honestly

See how quickly I lost you?
Like a ballon tied by a string
Chased by a kid out of reach
I float laughing merrily along

Do me this favor
Just for nowwon rof tsuJ
You don’t have to stick around
But just be by me through this
I’m fragile -not for much longer-
But for now

I wish you could see the words, silken like skin on muscle, on bone, on soul
So much more than what we know

Chew them like lunch
I’d like to take them out

I imagine a stairwell
Twisting sharp and cold
A song we don’t quite know
Downstairs you find
those who never say goodbye
Outside the dirt keeps drying

I want a boyfriend who’s going to read my poetry!
I don’t want him to be mean
At least he never is to me
But I’m happy he has thoughts
About my poetry
About the giant baby taking over my bed
About her dad who fights for the space in my head
About the job I barely have
It’s two jobs it’s two jobs I barely have

He’s 50/50

I don’t want him to be mean
At least he doesn’t seem so to me
I wish he’d read my poetry

I’m sorry if it misunderstood you
I’m sorry if it hurt you
It never meant to

I wish you would read my poetry

Just close it down
And shut your eyes darling
Boys will really break your heart blah blah blah
Don’t we ever get tired of the same narrative
I miss typing on keyboards and picking up speed
Holding down caps lock
I relinquish
all my *****
to you, breeze

These kids these days‘ve got nothing

I’m sad for them but ain’t it something
Our moms feel the same about us
Our moms feel the same about us
Like no matter how much they gave
It wasn’t enough
All they could do was teach us us teach us

This is how you get a sore tooth
If you’re gonna hold it
Might as well hold it till it wins

Your sweet fingertips shine
🎆🎇🎆
We watched the day go by at night
🌄
Caught stars and hung them inside
🌠🌠🌠🌠
And now
We’re on the other side of the peak
I’m in love with you so let’s take our time
🔮

Love, a desert sun
Unforgiving.
It’s starting to burn
I’m getting thirsty

I want a love like
Margaritas in the summer
Anticipated
Savored

Instead
We woke up in a pool of blood
My blood
“Our blood.”

On Valentine’s Day,
I wore crotchless lingerie
Because I’m tired of staining everything

Dinner is served
I didn’t make it
But I watched you do it
You like us in the kitchen
At least I think you do
You follow me here so now I’m following you
I want to say I’m sorry to be sad
You should only see sunshine
Leaves turning green and white flowers that grew overnight
Rolling thunder overhead but only for a moment
It passes but it shook us
I think if we practice our patience we can survive this
All we have to do is breathe through the spring

I’m a little bit scared of what’s after

I want you
And your abductors to
Choke me till
It’s tomorrow