I will not serve this
weak heart.

You appear like a ghost
haunting my mind
infecting my heart.
Are you even here,
or am I imagining your presence
like a husband pining
for a dead wife?

Were you ever here, really?
Did I have a life with you
or is that just a dream
I am remembering?

Clots of blood surface
saying we have nothing in common
but I know, really,
that they are only imagined
in a reality I could see past
but you couldn't.

So who are you?
Who am I without you?
I've been finally catching up
but you are long gone
and I never had a chance.

But I'm glad you
eased your concerns
by invading my
thoughts, presence, dreams...

At least you
got satisfaction.

A bright beacon of hope,
A window to eternity,
A pride-inducing hope,
A lustful desire.

The
pavement
cracks like
memories.

How dare you
take it away.

And we are pouring away
like the words
that won't
stop coming.

And we choke down
like the pain
that won't
stop coming.

Who am I?

Like the generations before
and those loved
and those remembered
I'm joining the club.

I'm not calling to ancestors
I'm joining them
I'm becoming an empty ghost
in an empty tomb
which all of her light
has left.

And I can stare right into that black
it's there anywhere I look around
and just like the song, I'm thinking maybe
six feet ain't so far down.

I've always unfurled myself to you
like a map that guided you
to where you currently stand
and wondered when
you'd roll me back up
and put me away.

Well at least
we answered
that debate,
didn't we?

A circle goes 'round
still after these years
you pained that sweet
little girl
and pained that sweet
little girl
and pained that sweet
little girl
and pained that sweet
little girl.

And are you not surprised?
She is numb to you, now.

In peace you sleep
next to me
every breath
an acrostic
spelling my name.

Your skin, a
magnet
to my
hands.

We may step
out of time
but in these moments,
we are finding
our new song.

I'm curating a list
one final time
Play it through
it'll feel like a crime.

I said I could never be mad at you
but you pushed
until you made
me a liar.

I must be quiet
quiet, still
but doing so
will only show
shadows on the fourth wall.

I'm chewing gristle
gnashing my teeth on bone
yet somehow it
is like honeycomb
and in it,
sweetness.

Splinters of bone between
my teeth like
macabre toothpicks,
quills of a porcupine,
fangs of a spider.

We were meant:
From open handed
unrestrained
open-palmed
strikes to your face as
I penetrate you,
to the way you lean
into my hand
squeezing your throat
until you nearly
lose consciousness,
let go last moment
hard-******* in for air
your body more alive
then ever
woke again
from another slap
and your eyes gasp wide open
looking for Daddy
and finding my gaze,
and being at peace
with the weight
of me
on you.

This vicious circle
once again
spins so fast
the friction
sets my hands on fire.

It's so quiet.
The kind of
quiet
that
kills.

Not a familiar heart
for hundreds of miles.

And my heart
runs up and down
the aisles of you

searching...
searching...

out on the lost highways
of our path
into the unknown.

I rise each morning
on thoughts of you,
eager, ernest, wanton...

And it carries me up out of bed
Into my day
Until we meet again

Your love is what takes me there
floating in bliss,
lighter than air.

I love you far beyond the stars
This universe is so small compared
The churning, spinning infinity
Is nothing next to the love for you in me.
My little girl
My only one
Who, if life stabbed with time,
heartbreak, confusion, and fear,
I would hold you up
I would never let go
even long after
this Universe
is cold.

Maybe you'll be alone
for the rest of your life
empty connections
and no future.

What am I to think
when talking to me
is harder
than the **** that ****** you?

And to think
I've felt GUILTY
looking at ****
since our issues started,
the whole time
you were ACTUALLY
******* someone else.

Conquistador
claiming you
night after night.

In those hot and
cool May and June nights.

How much could mean
nothing?

In memoria,
our ashes sing
songs of sadness.

You ****** someone else.

"Don't say that, you're berating me!"

So I can't talk frankly about
what you've done? What
the **** am I supposed to say?

"Call it 'an affair'!"

But you let some other guy
*******
(more than once).
I can't talk frankly about it?
About how you let another man
enter you?

"*******!"

And the door slams.

And the car drives away.

And I feel a weight lift off of me.

She lit his darkened heart with light
the most beautiful he'd ever seen.
She dragged him in like a magnet
pulling black holes from the sky.
She made it impossible to escape
her grasp and be drawn into her.

Then, "one day she stiffened"
and pushed him away
and he fell into that big
black hole.

Stretched into an oblivion of time;
nothing but memories
of a light that once
burned.

Kind words
Pure love
Tender care
Open hearts

We used to lay out like cartwheels singing songs
as the world spun around us, uncaring
we danced around it until madness stole
our innocence.

And I've never been more convinced
that ruin, like the horrors of leftover war,
can be overgrown again
and green.

There were hidden love notes left
and I've taken them all down
so you don't have to fear
running into my love.

Straw-colored veil
falls naturally into itself.

She smiles,
not knowing its power.

Little bones etch the flesh
and quickly clouds are parting,
laying out their symphony
of rain upon this tightened roof.

In her fragility
she shines,
so strong.

Then prove it.

I love you
I say a thousand times
Would say
has said
wrapping my arms
around you
I will protect you
I will fight any battle for you
I will be the warm water
pouring into your empty cup
Filling you up,
pulling you to shore,
mouth to mouth,
you gasp...
you're back.

My heights are like you've never seen,
I succeed where Icarus failed
and I touch the sky.

My beauty is
alluring,
but deadly.

I am higher than Everest,
and despite the many attempts,
none have survived.

When I was sitting at home, considering suicide,
you were ******* someone else.
When I was too nervous to even go outside,
you were ******* someone else.
When I was staring down the barrel,
you were ******* someone else.
When I was needing love and protection,
you were ******* someone else.

And when I needed my
wife,
soul-mate,
friend,
lover,
more than ever,
guess what you were doing?

And she's doing cartwheels
inside my heart.

I'm talking to my computer
because if I talk to you
I'll uncover
all my rage for you.

You'll cry,
"I can't take this beating."

But you sure took that beating
his **** gave you,
didn't you.

That's right.
It's a statement,
not a question.

And to think
of all the pain
and broken feathers
I spent trying to
save you.

Yeah,
that's what Rex said.

You're in good company,
I guess.

I look to you
but there's no one
there.

And this non-silence
cuts through skin
leaving only nerves
unwound like noodles.

I can quiet this vessel
with lies and straw
like the effigy
lit to us.

I wish I was heart-broken
Sad, let-down, hurt.

But what you've done
is grind this heart of mine
to a fine black powder,
and dust
doesn't pump.

And I'm sick
So sick
I'm vomiting up
black powder
and soon, hopefully,
this stupid aching heart,
will die.

If there is a ghost of you
these are the edges
the cheek-turn,
the second-guesses,
the body-lean
the back I face
as I only cry this blood
wishing for your grace.

Our purity
such golden value,
and you can say I'm worthy
but I am,
in your eyes,
absolutely
worth less.

I turn,
the trap tray,
in my hand,
other
on the light switch.

Deep sigh

...

thesoundofmyownbreath

...

an empty place

...

move on with your night

comfort shows
itself
in
comfort shows
on Hulu.

I will never
trust
a woman
again.

My brown-skinned dream
Coalesce my fever screams
Take the holy remedy
Bring me to my knees

All that is, once was, will be
And she can sing me
Sweet to sleep
Into finally-peaceful dreams

Seriously,
don't come to close
to me.

The sap dries not so hard,  
sticky to the sweetness
of your maidenhead.

Stroked away like
paint peeling, yellow in its curls.

Your face never wanted
what it said to give.

And I was left
spinning spinning spinning
into what could have been,
but luckily,
is not.

...comes from Reddit.

Despite your
repulsive
stench.

How could it not be
that this branch
I've clambered out onto
would hold me,
but instead it lured me
false pretense
to climb further out
until it has now snapped
dumping me
into the carnivorous jungle
below.

And let everyone you meet in the future
know that you deserve to be
#foreveralone
because if you pick someone in the future
and they fail in any way
you will be quick
to jump to a different
****.

The cold
shivered shoulder
of a girl
mocha-skinned
who promised you the world,
but when you couldn't keep up,
she gave up.

All the dreams
of this being true,
that you swore never would be,
are broken picture frames
in the mirror-mask of my heart.

your tears
don't affect me
anymore.