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RMatheson Apr 15
The cold
shivered shoulder
of a girl
mocha-skinned
who promised you the world,
but when you couldn't keep up,
she gave up.

All the dreams
of this being true,
that you swore never would be,
are broken picture frames
in the mirror-mask of my heart.
47 · Oct 2024
Hold
RMatheson Oct 2024
If I could hold you a thousand times
it'd never be enough
If I could kiss you a thousand times
it'd never be enough
If I could love you a thousand times
it'd never be enough
But if you could hold me
just once
and never let me go
it just might be enough.
47 · Apr 15
And, Suddenly...
RMatheson Apr 15
your tears
don't affect me
anymore.
47 · Apr 14
It's Hard to Fix
RMatheson Apr 14
It's hard to fix,
when she's taking
strange *****.
RMatheson Apr 15
And let everyone you meet in the future
know that you deserve to be
#foreveralone
because if you pick someone in the future
and they fail in any way
you will be quick
to jump to a different
****.
RMatheson Apr 15
... save me.
"You're the one that I want. The only one that I want."
46 · Apr 15
To Think...
RMatheson Apr 15
To think
you'd hurt me
worse than the one
you healed me from.

I'm worse off than when
I met you. How
does that feel?
46 · Jan 18
Rush
RMatheson Jan 18
Your hair
tangles
hands
across hips
the color red
your familiar
alien scent
as stars dance
in your dilating eyes.
46 · Mar 21
Oh Spring
RMatheson Mar 21
What a cool waking to life again
edging towards the green
euphoria seeps in the mind
as the cold of Winter leaves.

From the dead
and from the gray
roots of love
find a way.
RMatheson Dec 2024
I've seen a sun rise
sense-shocking
but it is an empty gourd
next to the
light
I see in you.
46 · Dec 2024
Slickened
RMatheson Dec 2024
Silk
wrists-ties
still cut when
pulled tight enough.

Chest heaving
into your arched back
cheeks pulled wide
your *** shines red.
46 · Jan 20
Suck Me Dry
RMatheson Jan 20
Your body will never speak
the same language.

No one will ever be the tongue
of you at my root
drenching up
to the tip.

An act of supplication
and worship
that has left me
an atheist.
45 · May 12
Our Wedding Cake
RMatheson May 12
It has been
festering
for years.
45 · May 2011
Plum Flower
RMatheson May 2011
I wear a tie around my neck
and Testoni's over my socks
but underneath
my feet
are covered in pitch
throat is raspy
from too much ******
and cigarettes.

Walking into service
some splash water
from a golden bowl
onto their faces;
others snub
their cigarettes
out in it.

A monk teaches
that breathing
is the key to life;
he dies from
emphyzema
as Shaolin franchises
spring up across the globe
selling soap
at golf resorts.
RMatheson Jan 2
Your body becomes
flowing water beneath
my hands. I mold you,
clay. You are so
tight.

Stretching you, bare,
we search for lips,
meet, starving
worshipers who
sacrifice themselves
on the temple
of the other.

Hand on your ***
I've made a meal of you.
****** four ways
you pull your legs
as far apart as you can,
begging for breeding,
and my heavy load of seed,
explodes against your ******

And we are home.
44 · May 25
The Door
RMatheson May 25
Empty me out
blood,
to the floor.

Open my veins,
hung from the door.
RMatheson Apr 15
What the **** else do you
want me to say about it?
44 · Apr 8
Your Fears
RMatheson Apr 8
I want you to know that
your fears are warranted
but we will face them
together.

Suddenly death blooms
the old is gone
and we can be born
again.

All at once
life peels away
like safety scissors
through fresh
orange colored
construction paper.

Fully bloomed indigo billowing cloud
A silver-lining's touch of grey
RMatheson Mar 17
When the world
falls apart around you
remember breakfast
is the most important meal.
43 · Dec 2024
Cold Black Metal
RMatheson Dec 2024
The world crumbles
as my feet lose footing
as my eyes stare, crying
as my heart stops, dissolving
as my soul becomes emptiness
as my hardest attempts to
hold on
are met with
nothing.
RMatheson May 2011
My gutters leak blood
a menstruating pregnant woman.
Golden homicidal mothers
glance down from the entrance
of a Khmer city.

Typillian city we burn down every few decades
and build again.
Abandonded Anasazi
pueblos.
I can’t understand
you
I am a cryptologist failing to decipher
ancient Harappan.
43 · Apr 15
Keeping the Faith
RMatheson Apr 15
You pulled
so far away
but I
kept the faith.

Little did I know
you were commiting crimes
against my heart.

And now
the faith
isn't
so
easy.
43 · May 26
I'm Not Sorry to Say
RMatheson May 26
That
I hope
you're sad

that you get that special kit out

that you look puffy-eyed from crying

that this poem ****** you the *******.

I just don't have
time enough
to suffer love
that's been poisoned
for years.
43 · Oct 2024
How to Survive a Suicide
RMatheson Oct 2024
One: 24 hour denial
Two: Tears
Three: Try to stuff it down
Four: Fail
Five: Tears
Six: Completely breakdown
Seven: Go to hospital because you wish it were you
Eight: Destroy all semblance of normal
Nine: Tears, fear
Ten: She makes you realize the sky has fallen in
Eleven: You realize again, a star explodes, you hadn't seen the light
Twelve: Love
43 · May 26
Comedy
RMatheson May 26
It's funny how quickly
people disrespect you,  
when you start realizing
your worth.
43 · Apr 15
Who's Your Daddy?
RMatheson Apr 15
Seriously,
I want to know.
43 · Dec 2024
Estoy Lleno
RMatheson Dec 2024
Consumed consummation,
rotating indecision.
Feral and harrowed
and narrowed precision.

(You've seen this movie before)

My stomach is full
dessicated butterfly bodies,
drowned in the acid
of my stomach.

(It's always the same story)

I will gargle glistening aspic,
purge until I bleed out.
But the only way I'm leaving
is with you, beyond all doubt.

(...what if this time's different?)
42 · Nov 2024
Your Body is a Temple
RMatheson Nov 2024
Your body
is a temple
I'd crawl to,
****** knees.

Wash hands in the holy water
of your eyes
kneel at the altar
of your thighs
confess my sins
to your mouth.
42 · Nov 2024
Toolbox
RMatheson Nov 2024
I have a box of tools,
useless,
and debris.
Pistol-pin,
rifle-lock,
shorn and ****** knees.

I lay here only
motionless
in a flood.
Turn me over,
face to Sun,
mercurial soul of blood.
42 · Apr 14
Sometimes...
RMatheson Apr 14
Sometimes I want to die
and life can't change my mind.
RMatheson Oct 2024
1 Tbsp. disbelief
1 cup shredded heart
2 Tbsp. self hate
1 whole core life memory, shredded
2 minced cloves, bitter
2 teaspoons of copy-cat extract

Mix into a leather loop.

Put your neck in,
pantomime.
Almost wish
that clip
stuck.
42 · Oct 2024
So Afraid
RMatheson Oct 2024
How can I be loved
When it pushed all love away
How can I be good
When it pushed all goodness away
How can I be alive
When it pushed my life away?

Veins in leaves
Air on my face
My love for you
42 · Dec 2024
Tying Knots
RMatheson Dec 2024
My heart is turning in knots
and I never was
a Boy Scout
a knot master
and the thinnest ice
is crisp like
this year's
death.

Sun fades into the clock
as calendar days
are stricken off one by one.

And all my dreams are memories.
And all my hopes rewind.
And all the listless days she's had
begin to multiply.
RMatheson Apr 15
Just, endless
in my sleep.
Show me the way
to finally find peace.
"Things have never been so swell. I have never failed to fail. Pain..."
41 · May 31
Silhouette
RMatheson May 31
Like a stranger you appear
the places you left in
my construction paper-heart
now finding ways to divide schismically.

There are parts,
some better,
filling in your
silhouette.
41 · Apr 15
To Think (reprise)
RMatheson Apr 15
To think
I felt guilty
playing video games
while you were
*******
another man.
41 · May 25
Tears//Years
RMatheson May 25
A way to sing the praise
of rotting memories
without the tears
without the years
without the tears
without the years

...

you could come
if you choose.
41 · Jan 1
Time Machine
RMatheson Jan 1
You were
my time machine.
With you,
I could see a future.
41 · Apr 15
To Think...
RMatheson Apr 15
Even in all this difficulty
I still defended
a woman
who didn't exist.
41 · Apr 15
Right Now...?
40 · Apr 14
Ringless
RMatheson Apr 14
The ring
that you nearly
forced upon my finger

has now come off
for the first
and last
time.
40 · Dec 2024
Sueno Indigo
RMatheson Dec 2024
I dreamt us.
I am a lonely man
that thought he had eternity,
and woke,
to find an empty bed.
40 · Apr 15
Misogynist
RMatheson Apr 15
It's funny,
you know
that this relationship
that seemed about
teaching me to trust again,
has only turned me
into a Mysoginist.
RMatheson May 29
The hold music is especially poignant today
and my heart is hurting
as I wash the last dish you ever used,
feeling the last warm water that involves you,
with my fingers wrinkling up one last time
as I commit this morning ritual,
again,
with no one to celebrate it with.
39 · Apr 15
Atheist//Eden
RMatheson Apr 15
"It's funny how
a mid life crisis
will make you
start to believe
in God."

I would be seeking
some sort of forgiveness too,
if I were you.
39 · Jan 18
Therapy
RMatheson Jan 18
It's a cold and lonely world
when the only person
you can talk to
is paid to do so
once every ten days or so.

When no one wants details,
and friends respond only with emojis
the cold of Winter
snaps especially deep.
39 · Apr 15
If The World is Ending
RMatheson Apr 15
If the world
is ending
then why not
end it all?
39 · May 12
Ghost Messages
RMatheson May 12
The only thing
harder than my pain
is how I press the letters
writing messages
to you that
I will delete,
unsent.
38 · May 12
Just Like Heaven
RMatheson May 12
I see pictures of you
and recoil
in shock
at the sight
of the face
of the girl
you destroyed
(she wasn't real,
she drowned herself
inside of you).
37 · Apr 15
You Were Too Busy
RMatheson Apr 15
I got a haircut
had a great day
I was ready to share
with you,
my partner.

But you were too busy
telling me
you ******
someone else.
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