"Hey it's just me again...
you just haven't been...
answering you're phone,
I'm starting to feel all alone.
I love you..."

I say when I call you feeling blue
I know you wont pick up,
you've got better things to do.
So I'll fill my empty cup,
fill it to the brim!
I'll light another smoke
and though it seems rather grim
I hope to god I choke.

"Ummm, way to not answer me
you should text me when you're free
or just ******* call me!"

I scream into the phone ,
there's a pain in my head,
so I hang up with a groan,
since I cant get to bed,
I toss and I turn,
and I cry out my eyes,
because my heart burns,
since I know you're not "out with the guys."

"Baby please come back,"
I cough and I hack
"I'm sorry, I've been smoking,
drinking, and choking..."

I hang up before I say more,
Nothing will help, I'm afraid,
he's probably already sore,
and my apologies are never an aid,
He'll come home sometime,
tonight or maybe tomorrow,
without a single dime,
regret or any sorrow.

I suppose those feelings are just mine...

There once was a little girl
umber curls let lose to unfurl
while she walked in the flowers
through all the day-lit hours.
Once she found a little sparrow
struck dead by loves golden arrow
she plucked him up from the ground
and to her joy and shock she found
the little bird had fought his fight
and once again took flight to her delight

My best friend he had a name
My best friend he played a game
He got in close enough to touch
And when he finally knew too much
He took my fears he took my hurt
And his good bye was rather curt.

My Best friend now has a new name
it's gained him quite a bit of fame
His name is enemy, the betraying snake
It seems his love was rather fake
He just couldn't handle my happiness
with someone else but I digress.

I loved him once I loved him twice
That love now puts me in a vice
So is he friend or is he foe?
Well, my dear, I just don't know.
You tell me when you find out
But if you say friend it's your sanity I'll doubt.

I once heard of a wise little fish,
An old and experienced swimmer
who avoided becoming a dish
in any Man or Woman's dinner
by showing how lovely he is
and telling how old he had grown.

He told them of old business,
of now mighty trees whose seeds he'd sown.
He showed them his tricks
how wonderfully his scales shown
when he leaped to do flips.
Then they made the little old fish their own.

They loved the little old fish
like their only young son
Who thought it could grant his wish.
He wanted only for fun
and never to toil.
He grabbed it's head
but, too feverish for spoil,
he knocked the old fish dead.

His mother and father came
they saw what he'd done
they begged and prayed in vain
then punished the son,

"You sought not to toil
but death you brought
to one old as the soil.
So search until you've been taught
to love all the world's pain
as much as it's joy
and shoulder the blame
for this death boy."

He searched and he bled
But in life he never did get
knowledge through his thick head
or learn to regret
The deeds that he'd done.
So he lived with scratch and burn
but never with fun
exactly what his greed did earn.

I think I'd like a koi.
A sweet, lovely, little fish
not a silly idle toy.
If I had one wish
I'd get one today
and maybe a friend
so they could play
until their sweet end.

But maybe one day
The koi will leave
and swim out of the bay.
Perhaps on the eve
they will swim up to me
let by gone be by gone
and under the tree
tell me they dream to be a dragon.

I feel it drowning me
I am suffocating silently
beneath the covers
of all my lovers.
I check the phone,
but I am all alone
left in darkness
the artificial light is amiss.
Slowly I raise sword
That I can not afford
hold it to my throat
While I denote
my loyalty
to a boy at tea
who caught my eye
as I deny
who I am.
"It's me you ****!"
I shout at he
who sighs and sips his tea.
He sits and smiles
tapping fingers on old manila files,
I turn the sword on him
to make the end of this endeavor rather grim
but the sword, it falls
to many shining silver *****
that tumble to a rest at his feet
none too indiscreet.

He shakes his head
as he is walking to the bed,
but never a word between us is spoken.
I wonder if perhaps I have finally awoken
or if all of this is just a bad a dream.
He reaches out to stroke my face, smiling as I scream
His touch burns so bad!
I feel as if I have been had
and that ignites my rage
releases my inner demon from her cage
to have her fun with the boy
who will become nothing but her toy.

The night is over when blood is spilled
the boy's body has been stilled
and my devil rages no more
she found his final struggles to be a bore.
She retreats inside me for the day
to torture me another way,
In silence deep inside my blood stained soul.

"I hate you" I scream
in my mind and in my eyes
it's not what it may seem
If I could I'd cut my ties
I would in an instant
and never look back .
You may think me flippant
you may hate this track
but if you walked in my shoes
if you knew the pain I feel
you would feel the bruise
that is never left to heal.

"I hate you" I whisper
barely there and distant
voice not getting any crisper
nothing any different
I miss the past
I miss my friend
I knew this couldn't last
and now it comes to an end.
I didn't know this was the start
of an all out war between us
we know it isn't smart
but we throw each other under the bus.

"I hate you" I scream
out loud and crying
it's not a dream
and I'm not really lying.
I hate you for what you've done
how wrong things got
when this had all begun.
My feelings can't be sold or bought
traded or dismantled
only dealt with
or incorrectly handled
since you're a word smith
you chose the latter,
so I ask you, what's the matter?