I am a master at lying
It is an art
I’ve become so good at it
That when I say
I am fine
I almost believe myself

Sometimes I feel
Like I am a background character
In my own story

I sit and watch my friends’ lives unravel
Like a movie
Taking everything in all at once
I observe
And think of what I could say right about now
But when I go to say what is on my mind
I suddenly get a feeling of shyness

It’s easier to be the background character
It’s easier to forget the plot of your own life
When everything is revolving around everyone else
And it’s nice to see everyone’s smile
When I remember their favorite things
Or their birthdays
Because I spent more time observing them
Than speaking my opinion

I love you
But still I find that
You are annoying
And you make my life hell
You say mean things
And you tell me I am ugly
You get mad when I ask you to be nicer
Sometimes you make my life unbearable
Being your little sister is hard

I don’t understand you foolish friends of mine
You all say he is a god
A legend
An idol
But I don’t see it
I think you love my brother more than I do
Only because you see his better side

While I see the brother drawn in by Assassin's Creed
You see the kid who danced with strong motion
And sang with a beautiful voice
Something he technically hated

While I see the brother punching holes in the walls
You see the kid who was a child-like goof
And played like life was a game
Something that he only did for show

While I see the brother who barely has time to talk anymore
You see the kid who would chat for hours on end
And give you all the attention in the world
Something he’d never do for me

You all don’t see him anymore
He moved away from you
But you foolish friends of mine
Still look up to him
Thinking he is the god of show choir

But I see him every now and then
If at all
And I think he’s awful
And I don’t look up to him
...not anymore...
Because in all honesty
He’s always shined for you, never for his little sister
Who just wanted to be like him

And now you’re all disappointed,
Because I can’t live up to his show choir god-like persona

If I were to tell a story
Would any of you listen
About a little girl
Three years old
Who was once
Felt as free as a bird
But grew up to be a tied down tornado
Ten year old
Not so little girl
And furthermore
Grew to be an angsty teen
Fourteen years old
Older little girl
And as the days pass
She grows a little older
And life chips away at the brick
That is her life
Until she just becomes a pile of dusty cement
Catching a ride in the wind
Would any of you listen
If I were to tell a story

Sometimes
It’s hard to think of that other paths
You’d be on if you went a different way
When you came to that fork in the road
But you can’t go back
Only forward
And you have to figure out a way
To make do with the path you’re on
And make it the best **** journey you’ll ever take

There’s not a lot that I can remember from Before,
But the happy memories
Still stored in my brain
All have a glimpse of you.
Back then, I was clueless,
Falling into your lies that you called love.
But, at the same time, I think I could see the things you did,
I just chose to ignore them.

The empty boxes with a picture of a camel on the front,
In your car, sock drawers, and under the couch.
By day you were an amazing watch
But when I wasn’t in your view
The truth came out

Sometimes
You couldn’t keep your lies straight
And I got confused
But I guess that’s what I get
For being so naïve

I wish I could go back to Before
When all that mattered was
‘My dad cares about me’
And not ‘why is he lying to me’
Because now that’s all I think
When I see you through the window
Smoking on the porch
Thinking you’re so **** discrete

You’re not
You could fit buses
Through the holes in your lies
And, honestly,
I think you’ve always cared more about
Finding time to smoke a cig
Rather than
Finding the time to pay attention to me