For days I lay in bed,
diving into the sheets we calmly swam within
trying to cling on to what has been
alas each time I wash these sheets
I lose a piece of you with them.
Now comes the time when I count down the days
from now, till then
in which we'll go for a swim again.
Until then, my love
I'll memorize each moment
until then, my dear
and pray for longer ones to come

Month after month
Faking normal states of mind
complying to the every need
of those around me, frantically trying
to please them so they don't see
and once I'm fine,
I grab a beer and dance all night
in strange men's basements
a smile never leaving my plastered face
and I let them sort their own **** for once

I've unknowingly made my peers
fall in love with my own worst enemy
and hate the real me

Somewhere way back when
I took a wrong turn down the wrong track
and now it seems there is no way back;
They tell me I've come so far
they say there's no point in turning 'round
yes somewhere along the way
better things will come
or another path will open
just keep on going
and going
till you find
your better times

but

what happens when they never come

Maybe I'm just ****** in the head
that's why I'm never happy,
I give, they take, I get nothing in return
but a fake safety net if it all crumbles
"but I gave you that" "remember that one time.."
sure I've done a lot for them
but the scales are never balanced
once someone calls it quits

Have fun?
What is fun without you
the ringmaster who leads them all to me
the conductor of my social life
without you, I'd have nothing that stays for me
even my best of friends
are performing what's laid out by their puppeteer
outings and events
invitations only sent because you're going
and what is left when you aren't there?
Simply nothing
And who have I to turn to when you're gone?
Simply no one
And what have I to give to them?
Is there anything I can give to them?

My insides have been taken out
no need for Jack's strong heart
or Jill's wandering mind
I've carved it out with a dollar bill
rolled up tight

Please tell me you love me one last time before i go
Hush the demons inside me for a little while more
The longer I'm left waiting to hear that you haven't gained a clue
(As to the torment i feel i put you through)
The louder my demons twist my thoughts to destroy my good faith in you.
So please, i know i ask too much but for now all i need from you
Is one last kiss and promise of love before i bid adieu