In a haze...
Saddened, bored, in isolation.
Dealing with all the pain, loss and hurt in the silence. Dealing with Bordem and hidden feelings coming to the surface of me.

20 breakdowns, and still managing to smile.

Tired, brain dead

My persona may show differently , but I'm private and hiding in my curtains

When will I see the light of day?

Intense, emotional, transparent
An Awakening through the darkness.

Forced to deal with the feelings I kept myself detached from for so long 🙃

Sleeping all day all night 🌙

Depression hit me again
Feelings and depth has been risen and evoked

I haven't been depressed or felt it this bad in years

It'***** like a storm
Healing trauma and letting go of what doesn't serve me and cutting bad people and energy out

I've been hiding and keeping a lot inside of me
Working tiressly and staying positive

The darkness and exhausted hit me like a train
My eyes can't stop watering
I feel 😪
Pressure is high
Tryna keep stable but my inability and insatiability is thought consuming

I masturbated 20 times, I'm wet and ripped, I need it in me.
I'm high, I'm eating **** edibles to cope with the pain and anxiety.

My *** drive is its highest, constantly ***** but needing to keep self control.
What will happen if I let go?
If I feel what I lost?
I want to be loved, touched and held, and cared for.

I want passion and cuddles and everything 😩

But life is unpredictable
KENJI KING AND ALISHA ARE IN CONSTANT CONFLICT

**** I crave you!

My thoughts and desires every ****** seconds and hour.

I wasn't expecting this. To feel this strongly towards you. More than physical, I hear you and see you everywhere intuitively.

A twinflame union?
Perhaps, I've been seeing signs of it everywhere,
I bare, standing six feet deep in strong tensions I feel.
I hold a deep personification to my heart.

A soul ******* love making strong passionate sensual sounds inside of me.

*** dripping off me ...
The smell lingers from your heat

Bite me

I wanna live in a isolated place and write poetry and paint and eat

That's all, forever

That's all I want

They ask what I dream of when I already have it all

Privacy, isolation and space
Living in a beach house
That's all

I want my old self back

Where is she?
I feel like I've metamorphed to a cyber super god

Trapped in this human body
I miss my space and privacy

I want it back

I want to write poetry again and just live a normal life away from this world

The pressure, the intensity and the stress

NO BREAKS

NOTHING LEFT

I am seriously hiding way deep inside
I have moved to new stages and levels of life.
I'm not managing

I want my introversion and privacy back

I HATE HUMANS, I HATE PEOPLE, I HATE THIS WORLD

But fame happened, and here I am

No time on my own
All these rapid contradictions, I've lost myself

Sure, I love the arts, but now I am this boss I never thought I'd be

Artist and performer;
The fans and haters
The friends and the insanity

The popularity and attention

But not getting what I deserve and being so ****** angry about that

Why don't agents see it ? My talent and potential

Why am I still doing background extra work? Sure I like it, but I am so much more than that.

I AM THE STAR

WHERES MY ROLE??

Wanting to voice this out, but I can't

The show must go on, it's show business

What can I say...
I reflect, and inconsequentally disturbed.
Disturbed by alterations that I cannot control.
I let it be...
But it keeps coming back for more.

I wish I know, but wishing is all I can do.
Fire in my eyes, burning with desire.
A stone in my chest.
A yearning for rest.

Passion evoked but I'm running for more.

With speed I burn out and die alive.
**** me, love me

TAKE ME,
NO CONTROL

But I breathe dark gore