Dear middle class friend
You have to know that I love you and know we come from difference
I am thank full for your existence and teaching me how to blend in
Find myself inside the lines of a different class
you take the time to teach me how I should act
You come from power I come from poverty
But I can mask, just change my cloths and vocabulary
Im educated and observant
Subservient to what you say
Speaking of your problems
How you hate the rain
How you over booked yourself
Should you go to the yurt or to the football game?
Not trying to undermine
To lessen your distress
Or infer you have a mistress
That money isn’t happiness
Just remember when you talk to me
You are forgetting who I am
Because of how I dress
Disguise myself to well I guess
Remember
I just found a place to live
Food is hard to find
My parents split
My siblings flail
Cancers killing someone else…
And you forget
That money isn’t mine
And I am short on time
My problems are different
I just can’t relate
I have never seen a yurt
Or seen a football game
Or been on stage
I don’t know what to say
Dear middle class companion
Thanks for offering to stand in
When I want to complain
But don’t feel bad
And take my hand
I try to feed me again.
I don’t need fixing, or sad eyes
Just try to sympathize
I know you don’t understand
We come from difference
I hope for acceptance
Maybe understaning
But I don’t know how to say
Ill never care as much as you
About such silly things.

when a frail skinny girl hold out her secrets. Just a note that reads" I just don't know why I am not beautiful, the thought of not being skinny or pretty enough is eating me alive"...  sends an echo of heartbreak and a calling. A calling that is answered from a deep place in me,  answering you are beautiful! In the loudest most assertive, complete, confident, life altering voice I scream from every cell in my body, you are a lovely creature! How awe struck this world must be that your feet have felt its existence. And that same voice now answers your calling, is assuring you that I love you. You want to know the depth, you want to know how I know. Its easy to answer because its a voice that rings, that is an alarm in every cell of my body, that goes off as the right question is met with an obvious right answer. Can you not hear it? I love you.

Letter to the boy who never writes inked words that spell out   I   love   you. But still his ink bleeds in ways I have never seen and it captivates the art inside me. The words them self may not be saying what I wish to hear but the portrait drawn in each letter is creating a beautiful big picture. I am glad you let a lovely spirit bring you to rainbows found in music that spills from your room. You see beauty everywhere and always point it out
I standing right beside you and  I can’t help but feel left out
So I see the fall and all you awes and then I look inside of me
Look hard
Alone and
Scrutinize myself
So here are something s
For between… just you and me

1)When I blush it may not be the subtle pastel you would choose,
But it blossoms on my cheek the color lovely. Crimson colored glasses show all my venerability, making me something authentic. And I like it most days. You can choose to hide your face, to look away but I love the way I am burning.You can't choose my pink or pick it.It is the color it is… well its authentic

2) I care about others to the point of it being a sickness. I have numb hands because anxiety acts in quickness, just like my reactions I am real, emotional and passionate. I see my beauty now and think you can’t have it. Even if I agree about all the other beauties you refuse to see me, and I am lovely, bright, I fit my hands just right, my legs are long and strong and remind me that my feet are my wind, a feather taking me to every place I have ever been and will be.


3) When you talk your words form poetry, but you can give up any time to get to know me, and I’m a piece of art. My colors are what words were made for. My beauty bending the conceptual understanding of language and a word itself. My eyes at any point in time saying more than your fingers ever could, slowly typing out word that beat out simple meaning. Tears fall from me heavy as bricks falling from a height, weighed down with the sorrow picked up through my life.

4) Im not bitter because you didn’t think I was hot. Because shallow boys make me their toy and they all want to play. And that makes me bitter and fules me with hate.  It was nice to find someone who cared a little more, who knew there were four letters to my name. who talked and shared interests. Only bitter now because you like my inside colors, but you didn’t think I was pretty enough to paint. And the deeper pool really was just vain. Tipping at the edge I am just pulled down the drain.

5) Is a secret. I use to hate my smile; my teeth are far from perfect. People were mean, you can say anything about it and I can say I have heard it. Red lipstick is my purple hard. Showing I made it through something mean and mad, perhaps I wish I hadntnt but I had and this is my prize. This is the honorable reminded I wear it with pride. Beaming, my red lips framing what had held me back from smiling for years. And I smile from ear to ear its beautiful.

6) A confession, I hate that you don’t see me, but I love what I see myself. I wish your hand writing wasn’t more appealing than the empty echo of what they tell.
So here is a letter to a boy, who writes in lovely scroll. Who couldn’t love me, if he knew me all. Simply said, I hope you find someone right, not me ever, not me tonight. Bitter without the sweet. To the boy who only writes but doesn't read, who expresses but just cant see, to the other lovely soul confused by all the color... I just needed to write you one last letter.

tingling. my fingers warn me
that anxiety is nibbling
that my heart is transforming
it beats then tweets
a bird locked in a rib cage
That is rapidly shrinking
feathers fall as wings beat fast
a cage that grips the bird at last
I gasp for air and feel the choke
my hands cover my mouth
I know that I will faint if i
let air in again
faster
faster
faster
until I feel the bird passing
my rib cage loosens grip
my hearbeat take
a sweet doves place
a little sad
and more worn then before
and I am forced to take this
Scared, torn and beaten *****
as a token that says life
can just be living sometimes

I look inside a mirror and see
frigid ice crystalize around an iris
Reflecting this coldness
chilling my spine and reminding me of loneliness
even when its taciturn pools
of tears sent ripples
laughter fled and long missed giggles
my eyes see winter
where they once saw
wildfire dancing
and doves sing songs

I look into the my hands
each fold of skin hiding secrets
every etched out finger print
like a deciphered  map
trying to take me to a place I haven’t been yet
perhaps 3D puzzle
that fingers haven’t fit yet
every short torn nail
every cuticle
looking for a space to fill
is as sad as the heart and eyes before them
I beat. I look. I feel
its all so hard right now
to be a living declaration
given word to life’s just living

I remember crying during lunch my senior year of high school
My math teacher’s eyebrows colliding turning one plane into a fractal image
He had sat there every day for nearly four years
Helping me struggle through an unreal number of numbers
Literaly and figuratively
And again and again the numbers on my math test said
You are less than average
You
Are
Stupid.

But behind the eyes of a determined math teacher
Never read, what my insecurities where screaming
Refusing to believe the numbers, I sought one thing
Some unspoken meaning
I almost found it the day of my graduation
I almost found it between my teacher’s eyebrows
Wearing it like a point of pride
I was the first of my family to hold
Such a light thing as a diploma
Instead of a heavy head
Weighed down by ******
It nodding under all the pressure
The first to feel the lightness of feather
Instead of a sixpack
A lame back, from manual labor
I was flying
College was my next undefeated feat
Again I let an institution tell me what I was
Test scores tell me what I should meet
Intelligent measured by something
That couldn’t understand its diversity
Trying to tell me I was less than average
When I was just an individual
Above a point of comparison
Excelling in conceptual understanding
Debating and good energy

I could construct social interaction
Like gold, I learn to read people
The power in my phone
I learned that it wasn’t the diploma that I should be proud of
Not the thing I sought after
Not what I would show my little sisters and brothers
To show them how to live better, how to be stronger
Burn brighter. Burn longer.
So here I am
Red faced and scared
spoken word
was hiding, but always there
in between my math teachers scrunched brow
Was the answer
I could have cheated if I had known how
If I knew what question that needed answered
Had realized it was never in his book
I should have listened to what I saw
Not to the math test I took
I
Am
Not
Stupid
I haven’t failed by choosing something outside of school
That I am not defined by the score
By numbers or lines
By this institutional rules
Test scores or even rhymes
I am not less than average
I just don’t average out
That power isn’t really in a piece of paper
Power is found in your words
And chosen behavior
That silence and insecurity
Means nothing really
The answer wasn’t in his book
It was in his look
And his persistence to prove
I
Am
Not
Stupid
He just wasn’t good enough with words to prove it.

You cant tell that behind my red lipstick
And matching clothes I wear a secret
I live out of a bag, but not out of regrets
My life is a story that no one had the time to read yet
Its deep, long but filled to the brim in secrets
Someone sees me and wouldn’t believe me
When I say
I am
homeless
Life happens and that’s okay
I took a chance and it didn't go my way
And I walk through a autumn day and see homeless people
Just
Like
me

I walk through the wit past the deer head painting on the bridge
A homeless man who always sits says
Good morning
I give him a grin and I can tell it made his day
Some kinda sad bearing down, as it begins to rain

I remember when I was moving out into the world
Boxes packed,rain fell in sheets
I gave out boxes of coats, and hope for warm feet
And someone said it was nice of me
Something
died
in me

Would you not do the same for me?
What happened to humanity?
I wonder what would happen
if my friends were different
if a couch wasn't an option
I'll move on then
I see myself in an old mans crazed eyes
As he sits at the bus station voided and deprived
And something inside of me dies a little
When everyone sees
With cast away eyes
Difference in a little
lipstick
Age
Time
A little more life
That didn’t go right
Without this break I wouldn’t have got
The full time job
My way back on top

And they key to his heart
Is as simple as socks
You should look away
Feel some kind of shame
You can at least say good morning
Remember his name
or at least see him as human
I wonder what would happen
If I didn’t have red lipstick
Life had chewed me up a little longer
Would you walk past me
In your Cold steel armor?
homeless
or hopeless
you pick the title

Sometimes I wish I had something different
Every piece of art is made with deliberates but from intuition
Just like my life
Every decision is thought out but in reality
Its timing and final say is on the way I feel that day
And so many and so much sway
My mood pulling it like the sea to moon
It’s never free, I’m always high tide in emotion
Sometimes I wish I had something different
That mathematical precision that some people just have
But intuition just feels right
I can’t shake something that is so much part of me
I wonder if mathematical precision could explain
High tide that that never turns

The only thing people do together in loneliness is feel it.
Its once connection or love happens that it’s stolen
But loneliness has a pull in
Like water to a drain
All the molecules the same
But lost, forgot and replaced
Loneliness is a universal thing
But I feel alone in it
Together we hold the solution
But reality is what we perceive
Not what’s actually happening
One of the only things humanity collectively does
Is feel loneliness
Alone
All
Together
The irony

I am a collector of hurt souls and sour people
Taking them through themselves
Answering confused looks
Nudging toward harsh truths
Laying out my ***** laundry

Everyone has something
Venerability equaling authenticity
In meeting people who are worth meeting
Showing yourself
hurt to heal,
a trade of sorts
Making deals
But you would not bargen
In the mist of all these people
I fell…
Fell
In
Love
In love with
Making others feel understood
Standing alone, I stood with everyone
They all felt they knew me
Truth is they don’t understand
But you do and we meet each other where I am
You walk me through myself and you through you
Not standing in a sea alone
But standing next to you

Silky red lips sip on
Intelligents, and intuition
Blue watery eyes
Perfectly disguise
Intricately weaving words
That are shaped, then escape
Change the landscape
Of relationships and connection
Gravitating truth to unexplained urges
Feelings all colliding, leading to one thing
She is absolutely unique in herself
Bring fourth an Absolute beauty
As well as drawing a connection for me
One again providing a bridge
This time completely unaware
Of the truth she has delivered

She is no reflection
Only 94% same genetic makeup
But our likeness has never helped me see myself
Not like it did today
I saw her physically
but more importantly
Emotionally
She helped me remember
What I bring to the table
Expression and a suave reading
Of people and their meaning
Helping them see pieces of them self
My gift of self-awareness
Gifted to me
As I sought to see
Its more than red lips
Blue eyes
That are a bit alike.

Green morphing into amber
Brown dark texture
Underfoot layer after layer
Deep complexities found
Underneath earthy ground
Change is in a chilled air
Autumn smiles
Sweeps back her hair
She doesn’t know it
It isn’t planed
Life just takes her by the hand
See myself inside these trees
Leafs burn bright
Fade and leave.
My name is autumn
Life is fast
Change just happens
Nothing lasts
But its so beautiful
Full with color
Wind it shakes me
He is my  lover
But I know nothings
Sure to last
So I embrace this fire
With every breath
Let go of all my leaves
Let life and wind just set me free

Never know why some words stick to people
Living in a world thrumming with life
Words gluing us together
But so many just hum
Pass by
in one ear and into the atmosphere
What dictates what sticks?
Does it come from the person
Whatever makes them tick
If I found the key
Could I use it to
Make my words just stick to you?
As they pass right through you
Others pick them up
Aww struck
Cant believe their luck
Why try, give a ****
When words won’t stick
But maybe if I pick more carefully
But others stair at me
So strange, you see
My words should stick.

I sit here trying over and over again
To make my pin bleed, to hear the words sing
But nothing, my thoughts just tumble over themselves
Like laundry that will never quite be clean
Sunday night I will come back to what I left
My old life, old friends
Different now than I was then
I don’t want a disconnect for who I am and where I have been
I found brilliance and light inside myself
I hope you see it, but I doubt it
I look the same, it’s a deep place I found it.
I wonder what eyes will see
What a brilliant glow might bring.

So funny how words spill between us
A poetic conversation flooding
Understandings and questioning
Everything
One moment lights up like hope upon butterflies wings
The next unveiling a garish harsh truth of reality, perched alongside loneness
Words coloring inside lines
Fuzzy gray trying to hide
Nothing is really quite
Balck and white
Every relationship really knows no bounds
Only defined by the individuals its wrapped around
Unique as life, its complexity
Just like your eyes seeing into me
You couldn’t say we are average here
Your words are what bring color to my life
And beauty to a blade of grass and autumn leaf
To a blue jay, to the passion I seek
An icon image into what life is supposed to mean.

I feel as if 'im being held up above those I love
inside a glass ball
encapsulated but able to see it all
rolling along palms of hands I love to hold
inside I let creativity unfold
As I paint and spend my time up hear
the glass is not longer clear
creativity hiding me
in the strangest way
as paint stroks block the view
of older different days
as creativity hides me
my friends can hardly find me
so i paint a mural of them smiling
i still feel them holding me up here.

Cryptic like the dark world’s all  
You’re ever going to know
Septic thoughts they
flow
she said she’d  never
send it,
never lend it
never let it
Go ,
Enigmatic static cling to a letter never sent
Slender fingers run along letters formed
But will fly away
To better days
She said shed never
Send it
Never lend it
Never let it
go

Endlessly fascinating
Glossy morality, hands hold in finality
Sleepy bliss as you find time in me
Why do you stand out to me
Like a light inside night to me
But this isn’t about me
Only what is happening
I have been told I am easy to know
But I feel I am hard to understand
Morality leading me
Blue eyes seeing outside of me
Big dreams conquering
Nightmares seep out freeing me
One person understanding
…. Far from me.
At least he finds time in me
So bright in me
I find him inside of me
Maybe that’s what’s so strange
Fascinating, captivating
Easy to know, harder to understand
In leaving freeing me
I miss you

I think I love you
I have been told
I write confessional poems
That I can not argue
I would never say
What I have today
If you were beside me
Poems, they just free me
Words escape, with meaning
Meaning, I think
I love you
Even when you do not
Though it hurts a little
Well a lot
But you are so strong willed
So brave at heart, it gives me chills
Fearless in your way
That you seek happiness and play
And I could see me
Finding beauty inside you
For as long as words can be used
Forever tell my face turns blue
And winded air, fills the space
Between me fingers
And the buttons spaced
On my keyboard.
Confession.
<3

Mom
I look inside your eyes a realize you are human
Inside that part of life, fleeting time
Misty eyes, you are lost
I forgot
You are human

Remember how I thought of you
Like superhuman, superman but you were super women plus ten
Always thoughtful, always true
Stuborn in what made you, you

Mother I have cried, lost in struggle
Lose my stride
but re found and got up
Always knowing you were right
By my side, held up high

Now I step aside, and watch
The ever knowing has finally stopped
do my eyes lie
or had i just forgot
we are all just human
we all get lost
fall down and get back up
mom hold my hand
we both can jump

What dream are you dreaming?
What are you missing, seams tearing
Bearing the weight, hungry children haven’t ate
Picket fence, just a gate
Locking you in, a stagnate state
American dream, American dream
Seams tearing, weight bearing
Tick tock alarm clock blaring
Swearing up and down
That you will be more
more than what you are around
But equality is only ideology
Reality is brutality
Suburbia only exists
On top of working class fists, stress
Test, testing schools underfunded
Mothers gone, and fathers drunk loving
Lies, corruption
Deceived by our own government
Monsanto’s sits on the top of the hill
Selling people food, that only kills
Pharmaceutical companies with overpriced pills
Poverty at a rate
That is sending chills
What dream are we dreaming?

Her loud voice echos inside my head
Tears pool spilling off my bed
And her hams can, and laughter fled
As life goes on, shes still dead
Just a rewind video I replay
Before sad sleepy eyes go to bed
Weeping, sleeping,dreaming seeming
Try to find the right words to describe
She was the only one I could find
To stay up and create, art, color, life
A garden to a picture drawn in crown
She was the only one around
Who found what I found
Art is the heart of family
Love and life
She found me, in the darkest nights
She helped me understand
The human struggle, to experience
Complexity, she was her inevitably
Embarrassingly, intoxication in both
***** and personality, fatality being
She never took care, her loud voice
Tinny in her last moments here
Her brave soul
Trembling in fear
Grandma don’t be scared
I'm here
Just like you were
Im here for better or for worse
Her heart beat beat beating
Tell its run its ran its course  
and when its done ill run some more
Grandma my heart beats for you
that's for sure

Something is bitter sweet
That you will never read
What I write
Words that explore
Inside your eyes
Between the lines
What surface hides
How sweet you are
Tender, kind
Awaiting the moment
To see something
Less… but all I find is honest
Is more, is blessed
The only flaw I see
Is how clear I can be
Because you see right through me
But you didn’t
So even that
Has fell flat
Brighter and burning through
I just wish to touch you
But my dreams are calling me
And you have no desire for me
So tell tomorrow tell you call on me
Either way, tomorrows brave
Tomorrows bright
Tip toe reaching for the sky
Tell I take flight
wave and smile
say goodbye
tear fogged vision
streaky cheeks
sun light mission
passion peeks
new journey to wherever it leads
heart will stay heavy
until i hear you speak
silence is the only grey
In my rainbow life I chase today.

Validation is what I needed
A hint of support, and I hit the road
Flying high, flying by
Dreams and fingertips
Meet my words, find my grip
Hands on tight
Squint my eyes
How time flies bye
Bye, did I say bye
To my old life
Old friends, changing
My eyes blazing
Passion in my tool box
Art and self reflection
In place of my complexion
only one moment of hesitation
And its when I say goodbye
To you, I sigh.
Open up my arms
And fly

We are not all broken.
Just because I have struggled
Doesn’t mean I am unlovable
Just because she said…
Most women are broken
Means nothing
I am just as much complete
Will and hard work once meet
Sculpted who I seek to be
Belittled by something so week
Flee from me
Negativity, seems to find me
It’s so whiny
I’m to shiny
Sulk, self-pity, loathing
You’re too boring
Over worn
Over used
I’m good enough
I’m full
Put together
More mature

Her little yellow face
Her week voice it shakes
Frail thin waste
Wasting, fear lit
Eyes find
She is lovely
Sweet, divine
But time runs
Her eyes closing
Curtains fall
But she is still posing
Laughter’s fled
Smiles wear
Eyes tear up
Im far from here.
I love you
Heart ache

I use to hate the color pink
They would put it on me and start to think
It had a label, told them things
Such a girly girl, who wears pink

In my struggle to be set free
I forgot to really see
See the vibrant smiling thing
Until it draped itself
On olive skin
No amount of sparkle
Overwhelming pink
Could start to hide
His masculine side
Broad shoulders merely framed

Smile lines and chocolate eyes
All seem to make me weak
He is inside
Wrapped up tight
In the most brilliant color
pink

We lay under a tented plush
Skin so warm
A boiling blush
Your smooth voice
Lower to a honey hush
You whispered
Childs play in your eyes
As do I
You lean in, I push up
Electricity, we light up
Even in the darkest night
We shine brighter
Then the stars we sight
You are burning livelier
I draw you in
And listen
To the sound that beckons
The grown you make
heart quickens
My favorite sounds to listen
Miro I fancy you.
I really do
I just want your whisper

Not knowing is part of the human condition
The words
I
Do
Not
Know
Are the wisest of them all.
Because admitting to not knowing
Is unlocking your mind
And allowing yourself
To explore possibilities
That before were unfathomable
*Free yourself, that’s the key

Humid summer air drags as my lungs
Force it to move, it tastes almost stale
Like stagnate water
I feel the life around me
Pulsating, vibrating wriggling
Buzzing and I am acutely aware of my surroundings
A regular group of people
Pooling together
In a social pond, everyone’s fishing
I’m not.
I see you
And every move you make
Every time your cheeks pull back
And your lovely smiles shine through
The cloud of normal life
Every time you reach down to embrace
To say hi
You slow down the pace of my day
Of my life, as I take in, slowly
Such a fleeting thing.

82 inches of smile
Kind domineer
Complete full love for life
Like a tree my eyes
Gauging you, scuttling up
The six foot ten stature
Packed admiration
What a beautiful thing
All those cells working
To create this magnificent
Human being
Part of human-kind
And he is both
Human
Kind
And he is a seed that is planted
Inside my head, he continues to grow
A tree inside the forever forest of thoughts
As tired eyes, drift off

Bus full of people breathing inside a small space
Face to face, eyes cast down and explore
A small girl that hides behind bangs
Long thin legs
Tightly fit close
That are shear and expose
Insecurities
And people whisper
People point
But I remember what Teresa told me

A small man gets fired up
But can’t fight, he wobbles drunk
He wants to prove he is big and bad
That the girl who left him
Didn’t have his heart in hand
That he doesn’t bleed
He doesn’t hurt
He punches the next guy he sees
He makes him blue
Makes him bleed
And I remember what Teresa said
Two lovers hold each other tight
Teary eyes on a star lit night
Warm bodies fight the chill
Each wondering if they will
Be able to hold hands like this
Forever or if
Fingers fold into fists
As bitterness steals a kiss
Because the two girls don’t know why
People say they should die
They have always only loved each other
And I remember what Teresa told me

Stinging.
I build myself up higher
Not even your fire can burn me down
Stone
Cold
Alone
But  alright
Fighting you
Fighting light
No fun while I’m young
Because I am a flower
I have to be picked
Picked because you admire
My sweet smell, color, desire
Nothing to eat
Process and excrete
Nothing to use
Then leave
******* and your kind
You make the world hard
Scared, battered and bruised
Lips like these will never please,
A stupid degenerate like you.

*Sad thing is I have never let boys like that in, but they still break my heart. They let something turn them into a monster, tear them apart. You are worth being loved, but you feel its to far.

You ***** a little girl.
And I saw you as a good dad
And my familys ****** up
I feel so crazy as I look up
To the sky, and through applications
I have to find a place for her
To live, as cancer steels her life
Her big personality, as finalizing choke out of me
What I am suppose to say
And as people I care come crawling out from
Dark, I park myself in the one ray of light
Fighting to stay the person that I am
Uncle you are a tweeker, But I love you
But you steel from my dyeing grandmother
I WILL ******* KICK YOU
Right in the teeth so you wont smile at me anymore
I will die
When they burn down that old house
I will die
When she lets cancer take away everything
I will die
When I don’t know what to say and its to late ill die
Frustration  overtakes me, someone save me
Im failing. No one will help an old lady out for real?
Whats the deal. What kind of world do I live in
And rewind. He touched a little girl
My grandmas is soon to be homeless
Because they will take
What made my childhood
And my uncle finds everything
He can take and runs away
And I stand alone
Trying to find her a home
And fathers day is on the way
But I don’t know what to give him
Maybe a letter that says
Thanks for growing up
Once I didn’t need a dad
And at the end
I'm still mad
Happy please find me
Please find me
*so lost, I cant even find the right buttons, right words... ****** poem, ****** home.

how do you say ******* to the world without admitting you are giving up. **** **** fuckity. I know I am classy. Lady like. So put together, but ironically I know who I am and this will un- cluster **** itself eventually. I am okay, but seriously universe what are you trying to prove? So again i ask, how so you say ******* world without admitting you gave something up? A little bit of hope, of innocence, of faith in something. But I have given something up. so I suppose I should able to express my loss however makes me feel better.
*you dont say ******* to the world without admitting you have given up on something.

why cant i say i need someone to care about me right now
i need someone to want me
to talk to me
to kiss, and long after
what is this disaster i have fallen
into a cycle that is
i admire and see,and feel the beauty of the world
and no one seems to admire, see the fire
to feel or seek me
and that is fine
but thats a lie
i feel so lonely
long for longing
touching a shadow
wishing it could feel me
chase after dreams
that seem to be reality
want hands to hold my face
to draw me in
and share my space
and time after time
i reach my dreams
but i sleep alone
no one is home
but me

I burn red. Literally blushing to the point of heat exhaustion
I am fire, fiery full of passion for a better world, for better, greatness
I redefine successes, and I push myself for the best
Gazing inside the lines society claims as norm, abnormal
People are the things I fixate on, because I care and can’t move on
And I am livid that you, you like all those I watch
Have forgot… you don’t see. It kills me.

That laughter rolls from under you
Light pooling inside your eyes
And like a moth I’m drawn to you
You pull me in, and I am powerless
Blood just below a boil
Ready to surface red, at any moment
Just say a word and see
How transparent I can be
Heartbeat, beat beating
Your voice like honey
Slowly moving over me
Sweet temptation
Just one taste and..
I draw near just to feel the burn

*I am not a ******* moth

Lightly wind cradles me and pushes
Exhaling as air laps at my cheeks
Light as a feather I feel myself
Coming down to earth
Where you don’t exist
Because you only see me
When I dream of you
In reality
You have failed to see my light
So I walk toward the sun and try
To remind myself
I am fine.
I'm on fire
Light
Light as a feather
Bright as fire

I just want someone to touch
To feel hands hold
My tired withered soul
Have them slide down my thigh
Until they find a sigh
Supple lips, and twinkled eyes
Exploring me with delight
Someone I can hide in
To trace my face and lift my chin
Pull inside warmth
Breath out words
I love…._

Heavy lids blanket over lenses I see
The world through
Captured light and movement
Moving me through the soothing day
Laugh and play
Climbing hiking and woodsy earthy smell
Distracting from the hell
That is
Your sickness
Even through pure bliss
I can’t miss
The tortured sad feeling I get
When I come to see you
exhausted , tired eyes begin to cry
Sleep finally takes me

I laugh
Just because I blush
Doesn’t mean I don’t bite
Although I am particular
Doesn’t mean I don’t like
Hot thrilling moment
That touches me just right
Waiting on the moments that bring out that sigh
I only make when I…
Replying what I’m playing
Remember what I am saying
I know we are relating
We all like to play
Rewind in our mind,
before time carries us away
Too bad, I’m alone tonight
I just want to play*
Different kind of sigh.
Just left rewinding,to a time
Id sigh

I worked 12 hrs straight today, and my feet don't hurt half as much as my heart does. And my body turn, run like wheels, only a fraction that my mind did. Trying to figure out how to un-notice, un-like and un-love. It has never been a Strength of mine to forget, only a weakness when I need to remember.But my feet do hurt, my mind is over worked and I feel, just feel my heart , and I hurt. To bad you don't know I am beautiful.

I don’t pick someone and wish to be a part of them
Not like I am right now with him
I don’t usually find someone who stands out in such a
Overwhelming way, in a way I feel so sure about.
But he makes me love me, and love who he is
But I found out what I thought I was prepared for
And the worst was a little bit
Satisfying in the strangest way
She is one of my very closest friends
She is bubby, beautiful and bright
And I love to be in the light she cast upon the world
She glides, hides from nothing and is fearless
And he likes her.
If I were a boy I would too
Just like I like you
But I’m transparent in a way
You see right through me
And although it makes me sad you don’t see
A light in me
You see the same light I see in her
And if you are so blind or you feel my light isn’t right
Maybe I should step back from yours
What is funny is we are so similar
How could I love and appreciate you
Without loving parts of myself?
But I understand
She is great
Love to love, love to hate
Life is such a funny thing

Summers smiles shed and fade
Happiness dissolves to gray
Relationships twist and fray
And I promise them I'm here to stay

Summers heat simmers out
People distance with doubt
His touch cooling down
I step back to look around
Frozen there, in fear and terror
Alone in a crowed, a single smile in a sea of frown

Summer breeze starts to stale
Remind myself to inhale
And force movement where it is still
I force against gravity and will
And smile
I will

Step, I take a breath
Turn around, who is left?
Anger pass, guilt is gone
I ran so fast, and now I’m strong
I pant no more, but breathing soars
I look, search
Try to see
Past thick masks, tall, tall trees
I turn over rocks, I avoid the bees
Slight sting, in the back of memoirs
Where are the people, where can they be
I look for their faces, why can’t I see?
Few stand where many had
Their faces glow, and I’m not mad
Those few have shown me love
But I still search for the ones who have gone
The rocks began to shake, the earth it quake
I stop looking, and I will wait.

Her voice swallowed me
Taking in all of me
Encapsulated , over taken
Shocked
Her voice had always rang true when she talked
She sung, and it rang, rung, round her truth
That I found, she was beautiful
Carrying her sweet song, like she carried everybody else
Full-heartedly, companionably
Completely, she can see me
And I laugh because she clearly can’t hear herself
See her…. self, because she likes
That I don’t hide, that I’m blind to delicate
Say it like it is
And that is why
I don’t lie
She is beautiful.

You fail to realize that my misty eyes come from pity
That I reflect on your life and see why
You act out
Shout, scream
Lash out at me
See me as an intellectual
Leaves you feeling vulnerable
I see right through the way
You say my name
And get so frustrated
But you made me cry today
This game you play is shaded
You are so afraid of hurt
That you just let words burst
Like bullets they pierce in
And are lost inside the tissue
Of my heart
You
Make
Me
Cry.
But today was different and it marked
The beginning
Of change.

I am a warrior of sort
Art in ceramic, paint, clay,even tape
Whatever I can shape, words
I try to recreate a world
That stigmatizes creativity
And I laugh because they will need me
We live in a place full of hate
Corporate hands that are heavy
And a mother that is sick
From the evils we invent
Earth evolving, at an alarming rate
To soon emanate the overshoot
Of our population, that has overtaken her health
And wealth is still only measured by paper
Intelligence by our ability to be intellectual
I create, and soon enough they will see
They need me.
And I will be part of a powerful force
That has been overlooked
A warrior, single soldiers
Marching along with all the other creators
And problem solvers of the world
Now stand there and stigmatize
Hide behind a degree
Tell me my dreams mean nothing
I am an artist, why is that so funny?
Will it still be when we are all running?
From the re-precautions of out today
Will what I do still seem like play
Or will we see it a different way
Creations and good ideas embraced
And when creators try to save the world
When they are finally heard
Will things stay the same?
Art be the bottom
Of the shoes successful people walk on
The socks of corporate stature
Will they still overlook the power of creation?
Power
Don’t forget about the people
We do more than math
We can heal, just like we have harmed
Time to be alarmed, time to listen
New generation, faced with this new condition
Said the artist
As no one listened

You see life with eyes wide
And fear seems to find
A way around you
Because it never stops itself
In your path
And you laugh, like life isn’t so serious
Looking for positives
Looking at the people
And the wheel in your head spins
Because you want to fix
The evil that exists
You want to hold the hands
Of all the tired people
Lost, sad and dead
But you hold up your head
And I feel
Like
You
Will
Change
The world
Just by being yourself
You should be proud
That you are not anyone else
You are remarkable
Absolutely breathtaking
kind
my heart wishes to hold you
wishes you could find
something inside of me
that rings right with you
but either way
glad to say
I have known you

soul searching
Lost inside what I cant find
The words to say exactly what I need to
They flee from me. Far from you.
You were someone who always said you loved me
And I knew it was true, even with the bitter beer
Even when you couldn't hear
Reality ringing in your ear
I always knew you loved me
Funny how I remember you
Like two people, fit snug
In one
You said horrid ****** things
Followed with the a laughter
Always following so much faster
Humor was your shield
It would rain but their was a sun inside you
You hide it, fought it
Drown it with hams
But it surfaced and id see
All the thing I loved in you
Truth is, i'm sad
Sad to see that life is leaving you
That you let it take
What even alcohol couldn’t break
Your spirit
Your love
Will to live
Chills me,spins disorients
Because you are the biggest presence, personality
The loudest voice, largest part
Of the start of my life
….
…
…
You were a lot of things
and you are just giving up.
Cancer is taking you away
And I hate it. I almost hate you
Ironic because you are finally sober
Just a reminder you don’t always want what you think you do
because whats taking you
was never what I thought it would be
and u have just got to know me
I love you