She sat down next to me and we opened up
As if we had been friends for years
She told me her life
As she came close to tears
Spilling into me
What had taken years
And I lent her words
And she lent her ears
And I talked and talked
And listened so close
Because the words exchanged
Felt so raw, so exposed
Feeling nearness
Feeling understood
Like life outside of me
Wasn’t misunderstood
And at the end
She asked me my name
Beauty in a stranger
I’ll never be the same
the world really
isn't such a lonely place

I dare you to call me beautiful again
I will punch you in the throat
so words will make choke
I dare you

Creativity leaking from the tips of finger prints
Left behind, smooth surfaces
Of terracotta earthy dirt
Light dust hovering in the air
And I feel at home
Curvy shapely women
Who turns to tangled tree
Rising from the handful
Of earthy dirt
Singing about mother earth
Making something so sure
On purpose
Feels so monumental
And I feel at home
In the space I create
With just a fist full of dirt
I can change the world
Form it to the shape
That best fits what we need
And I know I am at home

I can't even write
I feel so alone
Just sad
And my fingers fail
To hit the key in a way
That sings
And sets me free
But I try try try
Because my life just doesn’t feel right
I can’t even write
All alone tonight
Wishing I had
A dimpled sweet smile
But nothing is here
Just me and my fears
Nothings coming out nice
Fight, stumble choke
Fingers glide, find and poke
Click click click
Don’t bother to read what I wrote

Can’t fight my freedom
Freedom is inside of me
And you run after trying to find in me
Something you have decided resides in me
Flies inside a lie
A truth you think you can make
But I am not everything
Stop sculpting what I say
To make me what you may
Want to be with
I don’t want a kiss
I don’t need a hug
Just a friend and that’s enough

Today I ripped up that inked paper
Crafted, inked sketched
To shorted the distance between our difference
Something that hasn’t happened yet
Negativity, is all it brings me
And it lays in pieces by my bed
Seeing what is there
Instead of what I made
Lays
Alone
In pieces
No one ever appreciated you
Not like me
Not like I do
In some ways
It was perfect
Celtics player
Patterns
Green sprayed across
A piece of paper that struggled
To say
It doesn’t have to be perfect
But I took it down
Because they never understood
What it stands for
Stood for
…. No shorter of a distance
Paper doesn’t make a bridge
to cross the gap
between the difference
of you and me.
today I ripped that paper

you seem more sure of what you think of me
then of who you are and want to be
long lonely days makes you feel
the warmth of my breath
feel real, realizing you have been hiding
from the pleasures of life
inside and out
you scream and shout
i don't want to be alone
clinging to me
like static to a balloon
hugging at every surface passing
promising me this is lasting
but it is to soon to say
if its started, or if its a haze
slow down my dear friend
we have a long way tell the end
and  no way to know
where we will go
and happy always changes
chin up butter cup
snoopy has a friend.

I just want to write because I want you to read
And all the old stuff is the older me
But my words are jamming
Underneath the keys
Running jumbled mess
That fails to expain my feelings
I don’t quite have the words to say
I love the way you stay
But don’t cage me in
The way you claim to like me
But haven’t quite dove in
How you talk and talk
Knowing that I’ll listen
And how you seem so sweet
So very genuine
Stay the same
Never change
Snoopy n his house
Simple loving life
Open hands
Open heart
Smile lifes to short.

Empty space

I dream up ways to fill that empty
When I dream at night you are next to me
Pressing, encapsulating, enthralling,
Calming, alarming
Make my heart race faster
Then fingers chase after
The outline of my face
Pacing your heartbeat
With mine
And time ceases to exist
Nothing does but that kiss
Hum. Buzzing with excited life
Hands clutch at my bareness
Gasp so slightly out of breath
Because you feel all of me
Dancing intertwine
With the mister I had in my mind.
Inside the empty left behind
Unloved but I am fine.

Soft skin that still
Has elastic in its silk
Freckles lightly kiss
An even spread mist
Over fair skin
That falls over
A face that smiles
Eyes bright and beautiful
Blue that captures you
Youth and all its promises
To get skin eventually
To stretch and sag
And grow week to lag
To experience
To live
And
whisper a story told inside your skin
Someday I want to find
Crow’s feet and smile lines
And darkened freckles
With silver grey and white
That sprouts out, only earned in time
To have a raspier laugh
That flouts longer in the shortened
Breath I have
To have time
To fully discover
Me
Myself
My lover
Life and happiness

I fall and weep
And tears stream
Heartbreak breaking inside
Terrified of myself
Of what I am without anybody else
And I think out loud


Who am I


And search inside
To realize
I am ******* beautiful…


And you who hurt me so
Should realize I cry tears of gold
I break and burst through the mold
That my emotions free me
I’m a sea of meaning
Strength has not escaped me
And I am fear and saintly
I trust, love and lust
Live and fly and cusp
On the self I am working to be
Changing myself
Changing humanity
And I break loose
Free as a bird
Singing songs
Not of how you hurt
I hurt
But how I love so sweet
And anyone not willing
Has met a
Sad cease
Ending at where
I am only beginning
I am nothing short of beautiful
So sad you haven’t seen it
I'm bright color
In shades you haven’t seen yet

Waiting to hear what you say
Not knowing why you like me
Why you touch me this way
Unclear what you think
Mascaraing your thoughts
Disguising   you words
I know I could hear you
If you care to be heard
Obvious difference
Clearly so
But I want to open the parts
I don’t really know
The parts you don’t show
Will I be granted a key?
Or just never know?

I keep looking back
Grey shades flashing by
Hear the songs fill the air
Bring me back in time
The past is staring me
Directly in my eyes
And yellow separates
Between the finest lines
Fumbling inside myself
Building me back up
Yesterday is fighting hard
Now it’s not locked up
Accelerate the space
Pace and time
Turn back around,
To see myself, I’m fine
In today’s reflections shine
I’m sewed and stitched
Trampled and battered blue
But my insides finally
Upheaved, and I’ve been born a new

I want to read the chapters
In the book you tuck away
To understand the habits
You found in different days
Sculpt the sweet smile
That’s painted across your face
Hide inside the arms
That seems to turn away
I don’t know if it is me
Or if it’s something else
But I would like to know
The warmness that I felt

Wild Fire Dancing

Wild fire dancing in electric red and orange
Softly making noise
Warmth that feels across a face
All consuming charm filling in my space
Exploding out so far
Reaching out my arms
Singing through the silence
Refuse to be beat
Holding down the violence
Past is passing, green grass is lasting
Hold my breath, fasting
Chasing after
Happy ever after
With happy in my hands
That’s my plan
I’m wild fire dancing

I am a thousand million words
Letters sung and silence
A hundred kinds of laughter
Breaking up the quiet
A trillion upset feeling
Grouping, giant riot
A kiss, a dare to try it
I refuse to hear a tone
Even as golden rich as yours
Say I am not worth it
When mine you haven’t heard
You haven't tried it
You haven’t pressed your fingers
Along old withered words
Pages un-flipped, not turned
Haven’t inhaled the smell
Of  pretty printed page
Haven looked past the cover
To see what i have to say
Do not tell me i'm not worth it
You haven't read the words yet
I'm the best thing you don't know yet

Your gaze warms me up
Something happens when we touch
Melting me from my frosted life
Chilling truth is,I liked to hide
The routine and everyday
I surround myself but never played
Twisted locks and taunting eyes
Light me up deep inside
And a smile came to say
Daring me to be this way
Listen laugh and goof around
I can’t believe what I've found
That smile I wrote about
And now I know the sound
Of low golden tones
that flipped my life around
laugh with me
continue to cast that smile
play for a while.
I dare you =)

I remember that dance your head would do
Staring at you as your sleepy eyes wandered
Your head looking too heavy for you neck to bare
As drugs took you for a ride to who knows ware
And you would always play
Smiles all the way, guiding me to happy
Sticky fingers running away
With the popsicle that you gave
Snarky grin as  you would beg
Please tickle me. Rub my legs
He got old, and worn through
But never stopped loving me
Loving you. Sometimes he would
Go out and buy, pecan pie
And he looked so happy with that treat
I still think of you
In the little things
In all kinds of food
Remember the way we played
And all the things we’d do
Grandpa you were the place
Ware evil met with good
The paradox that no one understood
You never showed your darkness
Whenever I was around
But you light me up
Picked me up
Ten feet up off the ground
But as I grew to understand
You were a mixed up man
But I knew you loved me.
I love you, and miss you too
Grandpa thanks for always shining

I just feel
Numbness in the breath
Like it neglects
To bring me to life
Inside of me
Echoing
Times that felt so right
Loneliness anchoring me
To the bottom of
What I was above
Swimming
Flailing
Abandonment
Ties me down
To my bed
Ill stay here.

I half-hazardously hold onto
The soft edges of my comforter
It lining me from the chill
Cold ridged fingers of loneliness
Gently caress my shoulders
Pulling me into an endless way of thinking
My warmth shrugging her off
How dare she lay her hands on me
And I flee to a new place of darkness
Ware I dream of warm hands
Sliding down my back
Pulling me in
She appears, sliding in-between us
Her coldness wakes me from my day dream
She always seems to find me
I mean us?
Alone
Cold
Alone…
Leave me alone in loneliness
her hands always finding me

Hesitation when I say hello

I step into your space
Hovering right above the place
I wish to put my lips
Sigh, leaning into kiss
Press my palm
On your chest
Your heart beat
Beats the best
Images of me wrestling
Smiles settling
As we roll around the floor
Just imagining
What could be happening,
In that moment of hesitation
Before I say hello

I can’t believe I’m here
You don’t see me
Not like I see you
Warmth and pout lips

You see skinny, cleaver me
You see friendly
Let’s be friends

I see you ******* in my head
Stupid me.
Lets pretend
You see me inside my beauty
And realize I’m here
Climb inside
Were we collide
In crazy Teias head

Afraid to be loved less
That my deepest fear lays right hear
Amongst us hear, it want to lay to rest
At night when I close my eyes
I know that people leave
When pressure tries to break you
And time out waits you
Sun beaming down with vehemence
It ends the same
Same old story
Whoever loves less
Walks away with glory
Without a chip
With no block
just carry on
with my key
That locks away
What I don’t say
I‘m afraid to love you more.

I am the thunder that shakes your world
The terror lusting in your eyes
Simple gesture of impending pleasures
Intamently scratching out your eyes
Your meanness puts me off
But attractions turns me on
I hate to say, I’d like you
If your cloths weren’t on
Constructing my own tower
To keep you far away
But my hips sway in just that way
And broad shoulders lean in closer
What a titillating game…
I promise not to play
To bad you’re such a jack ***
You only know how to grab ***
I’m a gental honest lover
With passion under covers
I bet you have never known
That silky golden tone
Of soft lips whispering
I love you
Too bad you’re such a jack ***

How do you write love?
LOVE
id say like that.
or perhaps its when a little brother grows older
and he still lets you call him little brother
as he stands, stature climbing over yours

or perhaps its in a little sisters
toothless grin,or dimpled chin
and silly giggles and sleepy eyes

of perhaps in a lovers promise
always and forever
kissing, hugging, snuggling
perhaps

maybe in a mothers arms
in her will, in her charm
found amoung her asperations
in place of a new found fasination
a babies cry
or maybe writing love, says it all
L-O-V-E
or maybe thats how you write love
mybe just letters with emplied meaning, or all the above

You are just a girl
Using text to rule the world
Acidic hurt, that you hurl
At all the other girls
Times have changed
Facebook aids
Using means to be mean
Knifes and swords’
Not enough
It’s a show, you seeming tuff
Hiding behind typed words
It’s just a bluff
Would you be so cruel?
If she were in your space
If you were next to her,
Face to face
Chang of pace
Say what you mean
Mean what you say
This is a game, I will not play
Don’t spread around your hurt
With a word, you change the world
Change it for the good.
You understand mis misunderstood.

Lucidity ivied my mind
Encapsulate my understandings
Replay my reasonable findings
Play it back to me
Where do I fit,
They call it spirituality
A group consciousness
Cosmic understanding
******* truth.

Raw emotions simmer to the top
Where are we, where do I belong?
I see glitter in the night
Reminding me of my tangible size
And they try to tell me
A humble voice that rumbles
From a man who sits in the sky
I feel far from that
They ask why?

I feel a part of something
But its not a part of man
Of an all knowing being
Who has almighty hands
That we named so simple
Dog with letters skewed
God was just a friend
That explained what we never knew
from what ends and began
Struggle to understand
What no one really knows
And so the story goes
Still no sign of where I go
But god is not the answer

The torn parts are now puckered and scared
Time healed in a sort, not in the same
Limping across memories, lame
Hurting is a curtain
Hiding my strength
I think
Ill wake
I think
Pain, resolve leaving me
Just like he did
Just like I did
Torn parts are now puckered and scared
Tracing the pain in my past, only bits of it last
Walking through time
It crosses my mind, I’m strength
I am strong
Pain only barley holds me
I think
I’m awake
I think

I am fine; the winter can only make me so cold
Only chill me to the bone, not the depths of soul
No need for warm exotic touch, steamy breath
Hearts lifting up, I have no place for a feel
That flies over me, like a seagull over sea
No room for tears on lonely years
Just a sigh, just me in a lonely season
Its no reason….
To miss the taste of love

I don’t like to wait on them
Don’t make them wait on me
Have no intention of breaking open
Breaking free, just wish the dating world
Made more since then, gee
A baby dear trying to devour me
I don’t want to sit there,
Eyelashes a bating
When I hear couples laughing
And I think he is cute
I don’t want to small talk
Or to run around a bush
Just to talk about something real
Why is it bad to say, hay
You are awfully charming.
I hate this game people play
Rejection can be alarming
I just need to say
What a stupid game
It is, that we as people play

Stand up on your soapbox
Say the words you think
Study what you believe in
Hear what’s being said
So maybe you’re opinionated
But no one cares what you post
You believe in something
Say it with a voice    
Get up early morning
Sacrifice the time
To protest or make a noise
In reality and time
Step outside a tweet to
Really speak your mind
To sing a song
All along together
Stand up on a soapbox
Really speak your mind.

I do not tiptoe
Just foot after foot
And I go
No need in denying,
No since in just hiding
Just keep on rowing my boat
Take life by the hand
Walk on with no plan
No one to tell me I can’t
One step at a time
I won’t fall behind
But I feel blind in a world of color

Stranger smiling.. at me?
Do you smile at everyone like that
Or am I lucky=D
Sweet stranger who's long hair and pierced lip
Seem to contradict a charming handsome...
That somehow fits, like you are wareing yourself
Kind eyes bring me to the edge
Teetering on the brink
Of hot red that boils underneath
The soft skin of my cheek
Transparent and misleading
I am not shy, I am not afraid
I would love to see whatever lies behind
Kind eyes, Surprise me
Be an adventure
503-551-
68**
Sincerely, the stranger who smiles back.

When you kiss me do you feel it
Is your hear mine, should I steel it
Do you feel the same
Supple kiss ever drain
Does your hear beat, beat the same
Will forever be okay
Can you promise me you will stay...
Can I even say the same
Can you leave me hear this way
Expecting me to complie
To say that cuttings not a lie?
One that breaths the words...
That you can love with hurt

You would never break my skin
Razors edge biting in
You would never set me free
Do you have the courage to cut me?
Hurt is feeling, so it's life
But what's the point of living if it is only strife
what's a hand to hold, if there is no reason
Sadness comes and goes like season
But bitter twisted truth
Rips my soul and feelings from heir roots
Your peeciouse blood can spill
Your sacred hands can hold
Bitting metal, mean and cold
Legs stained in red
you can cry in silence
Scream in dread
But not alone
Not again

If you choose me, then hold up our head
I can only do so much and promise little
But to love, you have to love your self
And if it isn't a crime to you, it is to somebosy else
Each evil thought that clouds your head
Every cut, or scar that remains unsaid
For every lie that's sliped your toung
My self is trampled, come undone
If you become my reason, my chosen path in life
You have to love your self, and have to love our life.

I’m not mad at you for falling out of love
Just for letting it hurt her in such a vicious way
Like your dad did to you before you got away
You almost felt wanted and then he gave up on you
If it hurt you so bad, then whys that what you do
What really is missed up is how you took advantage
I just can’t understand how you let that happened
I know the sound of your laugh, the tear streaked cheeks and red eyes
I knew the sounds you make when you really start to cry
Told me once, all your secrets, all your hurts and reasons why
Created a new safe place, you were my true best friend
I thought I knew you, thought you couldn't just blend
You truly cared about those you thought could love
You were my star that was sent from above
Transforming you began to change
You locked yourself away, began to forget my name
Put me down, and hide away
You never talked, or cried in front of me
I know life became hard, especially four you
I just thought it could never **** the fight inside of you
I am not mad at Collin because he is a nice guy
Just mad at you, for never thinking why
What really hurts to me, is I miss you every day
I miss my red head smile that always wants to play
The laughter that I use to know
The freckled happiness
I just can’t seem to find her
In the shades of grey and ****** mess

I don’t write for you
I ******* write for me
I don’t write except to fight the hell that’s dragging after me
To explore what’s under skin, that masks its whole.
Dwelling in my lakes of feeling
That no one knows the pull
Peeling back the lawyers,
Rip it open, hear it tear
I am angry, sad, and hurt
Scraped and fallen
I write to pick myself up off the dirt
And scream when no one knows I’m there
Where no one’s there to hear
The deathly hurtled scream of a lonely single part of a pair
I write to **** the demons that are pulling at my heart
To torture them and slowly pull them apart
I write to kiss the skin of a lover I use to know
To deal with the hurt of really letting go
To know he moved on before I understood
Keeping me sane when no one thought I could
Reminds of the irony, of what Christmas really gives
To open doors and close them
To let them in or show them
Recreating my reality
Or simply feeling the cool shade of a growing tree
I don’t write for you
I write for me
Because this rant is part of a process
That is setting me free
I bend at the bars
I let in a breeze
I feel a little happiness
And I remember I’m me

She walks by without a clue
Her bubbly personality and bright *** shoes
Laughter gush and spills, free and loose
Joyous even in the way she moves

She wears the world as hot as red lipstick
Explores herself and what’s not listed
Follows the rules but just has to break them
Sings in the night, when no one listens

The sun comes out when she’s ready to play
Curls bounce as she walks my way
She doesn't even know

Has never been touched with a lovers kiss
But she loves deeper than anyone I have met
Cares so deep, hugs so sure
Trusts so venerable, loyal for sure
She isn’t the rainbow
A color undiscovered
The flavor of happy, the taste of song
Flies like a bird, dancing in the lawn

Climbing trees, hanging in the park
Sharing her stories, girl likes to talk'
She doesn't even know that she is
My shining star, little piece of bliss
Showing the way when things get hard
Laughing when I cry
Cry when I laugh so hard
She doesn't even know
She’s my window in to happy
When it’s no ware else to be found
My excitement when my life is turned upside down
Noise that needs to happen
Hug I need to have
Person I know will be there
The smiles that’s for sure
Liesel you’re my happy pill
The one for sure cure.

She is so naive,
She is so very far
From anything I am or was
Or care to be a part.
Innocents I wasn’t blessed with
I learned what was hard
And niceness wasn’t a pleasantry,
Not when life gets hard.
Maybe I’m aggressive
I feel way too much.
My life was harder
And I say I don’t give a ****
What else can I say?
What cards can I play?

Pretending that I didn’t fight so hard
For our happiness
That you never gave a **** about
Happy-- ness
I couldn’t outwit the
Discontent, you so willingly would invent
And recreate sadness, with a madness you blamed
On a four people who were unnamed
I’m ashamed that I believed you believed in us
You put your faith no ware, I just wanted you to put it there
To fight for how much I cared
To go out and see, and feel what can’t be explained
That’s the truth, that’s our flame
That turned my stomach
Into this pit of hell
Where knots of hurt, feast
Come together. Well whatever
I still loved you.
She isn’t the same
We are different.

I loved you and you didn’t love yourself
I set you free and I hoped I’d be okay
Hope that the lost soul would find a happy place
Maze leading to a space
Were math problems weren’t the only way to make a mistake
Just to put your faith in something to really believe it’s true
Maybe that’s why we are broken…
Because you never believed in me an you
Because my honesty could never fix
The sickness you invent.
Your hiding from the sun, was to keep it out of sight
The fighting for happiness that you never felt was right
It makes since you would care less, you just don’t have the fight.
I fought for you so very hard, and I know that you cared
But I step back, breathjng so hard I can’t hear

She is so young
She can’t even see
You would put her there
Where I use to be
And you say it is the same
And now you don’t believe
What was I fighting for?
I just want to leave

I loved you and you didn’t love yourself
I set you free and I hoped I’d be okay
Hope that the lost soul would find a happy place
Maze leading to a space
Were math problems weren’t the only way to make a mistake
Just to put your faith in something to really believe it’s true
Maybe that’s why we are broken…
Because you never believed in me an you
Because my honesty could never fix
The sickness you invent.
Your hiding from the sun, was to keep it out of sight
The fighting for happiness that you never felt was right
It makes since you would care less, you just don’t have the fight.
I fought for you so very hard, and I know that you cared
But I step back, breath so hard I can’t hear
She is so young
She can’t even see
You would put her there
Where I use to be
And you say it is the same
And now you don’t believe
What was I fighting for?
I just want to leave

I stood there with my hands out begging for forgiveness
She gave it but I wilted, until the sun help me to stand
And together we grew on common ground
Understanding fueling my defeat of grief
Leafs budding from rooted truth
We healed with what we both knew
Time passed by, I loved her still
Her freckled face, her sheer will
She was the brightest flower I had seen
But her brilliance became less green
She would take the nurturance we once had shared
She started pulling at my petals
Telling me I wasn’t bright
Saying things to make her light shine
And sneaking all the sun
I let it be, I let her have her fun
I took it every time
Knowing she had once took mine
Thorns took place of soft vulnerabilities
And she stung instead of happy memories
What happened to that flower?
What happened to her power?
What happened to the beauty?
When did you get so *****?

Only To Test The water
Static, still unmovable
Freezing up and slowing
World tilting and growning
I am owning up and coming up
Through the cracks of expectation
They all lay wait in a crazed fascination
Like I am suppose to come alive in a new safe haven
Like I am the same way, before they left me
A new home and place is suppose to lay a foundation
lay the ground work for a new creation
A stronger me, and new me, one that knows how to smile
They think I fight it, but it just was put away
Frosty water laps at my past, I’m too slow to move so fast
The world is warm and moves with haste
I sit so still as the ice crystals form around my face
And it aches and it burns and my heart twist and it turns
Salty water drips sown my cheeks and the sun begins to leave
Who is anyone to limit me and what that means
I mean to explore and to understand, not to undermined
To switch the malevolent movement of the water
I never sought to make them mad, to hurt with sand
Only to test the water.

We held our hands and the world tried to break us
We held our gaze because hate couldn’t shake us
We felt alright because we were there through the night
We watched the world smudge with fear
Violence in innocents tears
I could handle it all, because most of all
I knew you would be there
I knew we would be there
We listened and learned
We would both take our turn
Big sister I’m sorry I missed you
And now you forgot, but I still have not
I’m so sorry I missed you

We held hands because the world tried to break us
We held our gaze because hate couldn’t shake us
We felt alright because we were there through the night
And through fear and neglect
Through insanity and confusion
And roughhouses bruising
I’m sorry I missed you my friend
I’m so sorry I missed you
I would just kiss you
And now you don’t need me
Now you can’t see me
And now I’m just missing my friend

I am just as bright, but hidden inside.
Behind the doors of this home
Inside the walls of my skin
Behind windows and eyelids

I am just as beautiful as I was then
In the reflection, in what’s with in
In the soft of my skin and light personality
In the way that I think, in what’s reality

I am just as loveable, but alone
In the dead of the night, when I dream so dreary
When I am metaphorically seeking, weeping
When I’m in an embrace, with a lover’s charade

I am still me, just no one can see
I am just as bright, beautiful and loveable
Just alone
Until he arrives, and I know that I show

Silence
Says the world around me
I spend so much time looking for my friends and my family
But the world it shushes, and it hushes me
Lulls me, sings me a melody
Of possibility, but doesn’t tell the truth
Silence
Says the world around me
I reach out so desperately, to have the closeness I once had
But the harder I try, the more that I strive, leads to ……
Nothing, but I need something, I scream
I need to speak out, but no one’s around
Silence
Says the people around me
A crowd of remembered faces, all faded
( why do the shush me, and hush me?)
I had known them to love me
Is nothing above me, below me
Can’t anyone hear me, a wine or a whistle?
Silence
Silence
Silence
I am still hear.

Afraid of Fire and Frigid Bite.

sanity colliding with urging action
at first alone and forgotten
stricken with a fierce confusion
tired of the fight against allusion

I only hoped to let you know,
how I felt so alone..
but you held out a safety rope
drowning, gag and choke
I grabbed it and began to float
confused and afraid of hurt
I hold on but still afraid to lurk
lurk closer to knowing you
the pain can sting and so can you


but a beauties their, deep and clear
its glowing light draws me near
afraid of fire.. but not of warmth
I fight the frost on the earth
a fire blisters or a frigid bite
the day to far from fear of night
so I walk a razor edge
I tiptoe a dotted line
with only you on my mind

superhero holding friendship

I admire, I spectate , I watch and learn and notes I take
On a thunderous beauty, on this breath taking sight
Quivering breath at a mountains height
Those close around I fear they might drown
Terrified of what’s making change
Terror stricken, I flip through pages
that would never be re-written, never changed

I’m waiting for struggle, for flailing arm
for loneliness , peoples pulling up guards
Fences that we build and view as our shields
Just a horrible thing ,that wont let me in
Misunderstanding transforming
Now it’s a black mask of confusion, dooming

I panic at thought spinning around
Head is to full ,I feel for the ground
Darkness threatening my light life
I gasp for friendship and understanding
Then you flew in with a quiet landing
Tiptoeing around you lift me off the damp dirt
Wiping the darkness of my clean world

A new view of refuge, I need and needed you
Just a boy with good intention
Transformed into a superhero holding friendship.
Together walking side by side
we sort through what’s wrong and right
We plan a way to save the drowning
Climb fences and break through walls
Tear down others guards
I walk a walk , no longer alone in the dark.
I have you.thank all that is good
We stand were I stood
I love you

Set me on fire


Insanity is what ran through me
Intensity plunging into me
Breathing is not wheezing but coming easily
Tingling reawakening
Space vacating me
I’m a vortex of for ever waiting
Playing on words, hoping to be heard
Spinning on this earth that is worth…
Nothing? Something? Maybe
Say to me the words that send guilt
Through sensations I have yet to word
Liking is a fighting, loving is despising
Wanting to be curious, how could I not with the words of his
Blister me with sincerity
Sending burning regret through every vain
Every way, in each new light
I fight and twist new perspective
To yell at me, to say to me everything is all right
And believe its true.
That me and you collided for some kind of real
Reeling going wild
My heart beats with the laughter of a child
Happiness is your contagious energy
I take it in and let it live in me
Your sweet scenic imagery
Watercolor paintings reflecting back at me
Beauty is something new and founding
Whirl pool of commonalities
Blasphemies of morals and value
But I cant help how my happiness swells
How you a smile into me
Chilling water not nearly as refreshing
Retesting, rethinking my boundaries
Seeing new towers, higher mountains and walls
Longer tunnels and halls
To walk, climb and crawl
How far the journey to a wanting place
To a unsure space in any case I hope your happy
That my presence is half as enchanting
Because your words they leave me panting
How can I not, with no words forgot?
Blister me with guilt’s hot iron
Set me on fire.
Or should we not?
I forgot the binding power of
A forever real friend ship
Set my ship on fire
And drown all hopes and desires

Chains and shackles

Chains and shackles weigh me down
Ties to strong to break, helpless struggle
Unheard screams, guards surround me
Your around me, and you run blindly
So I sit quietly, with silent thought
Not knowing can be easer, so I remain unheard
I falter under pressure so squeamishly
Why slow you down?
You would try to carry me

Chains and shackles hold me down
My echoed heart beat is the only sound
A thudding heart could be heard
Tare it out from my very breast
It stop the twisted breath in my empty chest
A tortured heart freed from the rest
My body now a cesspool
A wasteland of festered stress
I will **** my hopes and dreams if it means
Honesty, equality, fairness to my loved

Chains and shackles ground me down
I could fly when your around
But I will squash anything
I wont dare let my bleeding heart sing
So let the guards hold me down
I challenge the people to there bliss
Tragic is no way for loves first kiss

Prize fight ,love and war

War torn love, a constant battle
Plans to make a moment stand for something
Trying to show this is real
But no skin can touch until we heal
Wild eyes meet and gaze
How to touch is what’s on their brains
The hurt and guilt can not faze
Endless though, his mind a maze
Guilt grenades explode so fierce
Echoed crying Is all we hear
And even when they close their eyes
Guns still fire and friends still lie
Trauma strikes them deep,
in hopes to knock them from their feet
Blood still rains from passions sky
Birds all fall instead of dive
Barbed wire catches though of hope
Silent night steals smiles
And even when this war starts to slow
People shake in fear of more
All who are left to stand
Look around ,blood dripping from their hands
Terror shaking their core
Breathing starts to sore
But no sound brakes this new found state
Warriors turn to spectate
A new force begins to take its form
Wars scary presence hold them in their place
They know something new may await
The two lovers eyes well up
A prize fight has taken place
Have they won what feels so great?
Or is this a break..
War still leaves a bitter taste,
But they stand still afraid of haste
Silence fills the dark
The only light is their shared spark
Angry love twisted in fear
Has proven how they both feel
War still plagues, but hope is felt
And two hands reach out
And they haven’t fell