Your not the first...
Stay and let me explain
It took 16 year to find you
When October came I knew you cared
3 month go by with out a word
Come back everything shattered
They say I need to change
I try
Text by text everything goes wrong
Lost one
Then two
I never knew it would take a second to loss someone
As time goes by wonder what I could have done
Wrote a note
Tell her you love her
Your where happy for once because you finally told someone that
4 year ago I told that to someone who died
And I never said it again
But I said it to you
But I guess everyone you love
leave you
Your not the first

-RLC

He said he cared
He wanted to help
I opened up ...
he said I'm here for you
I tell him everything
how I hate myself
how no one wants me
how I tried to **** my self
as I look back I thought he truly cared
but that what all they all say  
until they don't want anything to do with me
as I sit there in the bed
thinking what did I do wrong
I thought he cared
I feel empty
so I go take a shower
I stand there the water so cold
I'm try not to cry
but it just starts
I scream
What the ****
I keep screaming
I fall to the ground I sit there
numb
I felt so hopeless
its like no one ever will help
I try over and over again to get help
but it destroys me more and more
as the cold water on my back falls to the ground
I tell myself I'm done
I'm done try
I'm done asking for help
I'm done opening up
no one really wants to help
I get out of the shower
and go to the cabinet
get the pills on the left side
and count them
one by one
and it feels good
not to feel a thing

RLC

I feel this hole in my stomach
It like I’m not hungry
I feel gross
The food is on the table
I feel like I should eat it
But I’m not hungry
If I eat ...
I start felling like
I can’t breath
I want to eat
But I’m not hungry
I try some snacks
But I play with it instead
When I can’t breath
I panicked
And It gets harder and harder to breath
I run to the bathroom
I start losing weight
5 pounds a week
I couldn’t tell
Because all my life I was fat
No one like the fat girl
I still feel this hole in my stomach
I don’t know what it is
I’m not hungry

RLC

It was like a gasp of air when I was born
My sister wanted a sister
but when she saw me she didn’t want that baby
Days turned in to month into years
My sister never wanted to play
I tried to make friend
I thought I had some
I guess she was one of my best friend
It was her birthday
I worked ******* a card
She said she wasn’t have a birthday party
But if you look on Instagram
She did
By 6th grade they all had changed
I moved schools
I thought I was going to get a chance to start over
But the kid they didn’t lie the told me the truth
The truth about how I look
The truth about how annoying I am
They torn my apart
By texted message
I would be the one who got in trouble
When they would tell me
if you where skinny and had long hair I would like you
Write notes about me
And laughs
For 4 year I had to deal with that
I work hard to get back to the school where everyone lied  
I thought it was going to be sun shine and rainbows
But when I go back
I thought they would change like I did
But no… no..no
They where worst
Everyday I would come in with a smile
Do my work
But when I talked
One girl said thank God I’m out of it so I don’t need to listen to her
When I went to lunch I would try and try to make a friend
But they would walk away or start saying rude stuff
Or shoving water bottle up they throat and make noise till I left
I would talk to someone one about this he was one of the guys at the lunch table
He said I’m sorry
He said people cared
He said people love you
3 Month go by with out a word from me
I stared text him again
He says sorry I can’t do this anymore
You can’t just do this to me
I have no one
He says his sorry
But I was stupid
So I open up about everything
I shouldn’t have
But I did…
He said ill meet you before class
I was happy for ones
But when I was going to class
One of the teacher grab me
And said let go
I was confuse
But know I now what happened
He told someone something
I started to text
And I see
That he was done with me
He bloke me
I was gasping for air
It was like I was drowning
I couldn’t breath
He was the only friend I had
At the stupid school
My life was ruined by people at school
Everyday I perseverate
Over and over about school
And what I could have done
So I wasn’t the girl called annoying girl
Or the one who lost everything because of her
And that me.

RLC