At least one of us is happy.
At least one of use made it pass the broken bridge.
Well, I saw your picture today.
You gave her a back hug with your wide and bulky arms
Those arms that were once my dwelling place
Your eyes sparkled as you looked at the lens of the camera
It seemed like you had the world in your embrace
Then came reminiscence from those loveliest days
I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling
Was it jealousy?
Was it merely pain?
Was it regret?
Was it longing?
My mind wasn’t sure.
No, maybe it was my heart that is quite confused
Because even if I try to refuse
Even if I hide behind the blinds of my ego
The scars appeared from the memories of letting you go.

It's 3am and I found myself staring at my bedroom's ceiling
with my blank thoughts
just listening to the lullaby of the night.
Without my consent, a tear escaped from my left eye.
I was hoping that it was just because of the long staring game I had with the ceiling
and not because of the loneliness that engulfed me this time of the night
nor because of a glimpse of your face paving it's way to the pool of vague musings in my head.
That was supposed to be like a shooting star just quickly passing by
but it lingers there and now
it travels to the depth of my heart trying to unlock more the vault that locks a whole world with all the images of you.
I did try to resist but then the more I tried to hold it longer
the more visible the pain becomes.
So I gave up and ended up drowning with the thoughts of you
of us
It's 3am and I found myself missing you.
I miss you

Tahimik at tila nawalan na ng ganang huminga ang mundo
Nakasarado ang mga labing to pero alam kong punong puno
ng mga sigaw
ng mga hagulgol
ng mga mura
na pinipilit na hindi makawala
Dahil alam ko na kahit ang boses ay maubos
hanggang sa tuluyan nang mapaos
Hindi mo pa rin pakikinggan
Dinadaan nalang ang mga sakit na naipon
sa pagsulat sa basang pahinang pinipilit mang pagtagpiin
ay tuluyan nang napupunit
Gawa ng mga luhang kumakawala sa mga matang bulag
Marahang pinapahid dahil sa namamagang pisngi
Katulad ng pag-iibigan natin
Sa pahinang ito
Tuluyan nang nawasak at paunti unti nang naglalaho
Nabura na ang tinta at naging malabo na
ang mga salitang Mahal na mahal kita
Ipipikit nalang ang mga mata para tumigil na
Kasabay ang paghaplos sa nanlalamig na espasyo
Sa bandang kaliwa ng ating kama
Dito dating nakahimlay ang isang nilalang na nagbigay halaga sa kalawakan
Ang nagparamdam ng tunay na kahulugan ng buhay at pagmamahal
Pinapaniwalang ang pag-iibigan ay tunay at magtatagal
Pero mahal
Bakit ang mga halik ay napalitan ng mga mura
Ang mga yakap ay napalitan ng mga sampal
At ang mga matamis na ngiti ay napalitan na ng matalim na mata
Nasaan na ang pinangakong walang hanggan?
Alam ko kung gaano kasakit ang mawalan
Alam ko kung paano mawasak ang mundo ng isang iniwan
Pero alam mo ba kung ano yung pinakamasakit?
Magkatabi tayo at magkadikit ang mga balikat
Walang matitirang espasyo sa gitna dahil sa liit ng higaan
Pero hindi ko maramdaman na nariyan ka
Mali..
Alam kong andiyan ka pero alam ko rin na ang pagmamahal mo ay naglaho na
Sabi nila masakit makita ang mahal **** may kasamang iba
o hanggang kaibigan lang ang tingin niya
o wala na siyang ibang nabanggit kundi ang isang taong ayaw sa kanya
Putang ina
Hindi nila alam na mas masakit ang nararamdaman ng isang tangang katulad ko
Na pinipilit pinapaniwala ang sariling mahal mo pa ako
Mas masakit yun
Mahal hindi mo ba nakikita ang mga mapuputlang labi na minsan mo nang nahagkan?
Hindi mo ba naririnig ang mga hikbi na pinipilit kong itago pero hinihila pa rin palabas ng pighati?
Hindi mo ba nararamdaman kung gaano kita kamahal, kung gaano ako kahangal?
Gusto ko lang naman pakinggan mo ako
Gusto kong malaman mo na ayoko na
Na kahit ayoko na ay ayoko pa
Ayoko pang bumitaw
Dahil natatakot akong maligaw
Sa paniniwalang ang iyong palad ang gabay sa mundo kong minsan nang naging bughaw
Ayoko pang mawalay sayo
Ayoko pang ako’y iwan mo
Tawagin mo na akong tanga, gaga, boba
Pero Mahal kita
Pero Ayoko na
Ayoko na sana
Sana pigilan mo ako sa pagtangka kong pagbitaw
Pigilan mo sa pagsulat muli sa mga basang pahina dahil huli na to
Halikan ang mga nakasaradong labi nang mapalitan ang mga mura ng mahal
Mahal kita
Oo na hanggang sa huli
Kahit matagal nang sinasabi ng mga mata, labi at puso ko
At nakasulat sa huling basang pahina na ito
Na Ayoko pa, mahal ayoko na.

Amidst the angst and weeps
The heavy chains may be ripping off my heart
I see the sunshine just by looking at your eyes
Just by then, all is well
My soul may be succumbed by darkness
And I cry in endless vain
You make the longing pause
Just by pulling out that smile of yours
And it kills me
but it's the one that keeps me feel alive.

I couldn't exactly remember how everything started
All I knew was how everything ended
how the concept of 'us' ended
The memories may be vague but the feelings of regret
felt just like a fresh open wound
I knew that it was in the four corners of this room
where I first saw a bit much of you
but it was also in the same four corners
where I had my last memory of you
You left without even giving me my goodbye kiss
just like what you used to do
You left without even saying how much you'll miss me
just like what you used to say
You left the four corners of this room
but in my heart you never did
I wanted you to stay just a bit longer
I wanted to tell you
that I still want to see you again
that you left your scent in my sheets
that you forgot to kiss me one last time
that you forgot to say you love me back
that I wish you'd still come back
that I would still want you back
I couldn't exactly remember what I did after that
but the echoes of my silent cries would not let me forget
I could only remember you and me
I wanted to remember just you and me
even though I have to forget you
just you and me and how we were happy once
in the four corners of this room.

I wanted to wander off the coast of melancholy
I wanted to make another step back from the calling
But as soon as my feet try to turn away from the sea of despair
I am pulled back by my memories of you
of you and me
of us
of "what ifs"
of what we could've been
of what we should've been
It's as if the waves came rushing but instead of pushing me back to the shore, it engulfs me more
Little did I know, I lost again
I lost the only battle I prepared for
I lost you
just as how the sea easily erases our carved names in the shore
just as how the sun disappears in the horizon
just as how the wind pushed me, I felt it's coldness until it's gone
I lost you
I am lost
I am lost in you
I am lost in the sea of my weeping for our parting
and now I want my love for you take me away
Let my soul be carried by the current
until I drown and feel no pain anymore
Let me be one with you
Let me be one with the sea
wishing someday I will wake up
In the land of pure bliss
with you and us

I LOVE YOU
When was the last time you heard someone telling you these 3 beautiful words?
Isn’t it heart melting to hear this from someone you’ve always loved?
How you wished to hear this
From your family or friends
From the people you love
As for me, Oh I hear it every day
I LOVE YOU
Every moment of silence
Every time the world pauses
Every single day without fail
Every time the cosmos gives me all the serenity that it could offer,
I hear this
But not from you who have given me the love that I never deserved
Not from you who never failed to show me how demons learn to love
Not from you who took away all the sadness and despair
Not from you, no not anymore
But from my memories of you
I could still hear your voice that once spoke these 3 beautiful words
It lingers even to the deepest part of my soul
Every time my mind makes another recall of you saying this,
My lips would draw that pleased smile
But that smile will always be followed by a teardrop
A droplet of rain that must’ve been lost by the sky
just found its way to my gloomy eye
Your eyes even defined the love that I’ve always wished I still have
I have you
I had you
I LOVED YOU
I still do
You still once loved me too
More than anything or anyone
More than I do
But I pushed you away
I told you not to stay
I thought it would still be okay but no
These beautiful words that once gave color to my day
Turned my whole world gray
All with the word regret
All I hear are the echoes of my mistakes
Every moment of silence
Every time the world pauses
Every single day without fail
Every time the cosmos gives me all the serenity that it could offer
Why did I let you go?
Why did I say no?
Why did I let you and us fade away?
Why was I not able to reply when you told me these 3 beautiful words?
I LOVE YOU
All I needed was to say I love you too
To look at you in the eyes saying how happy I am for being loved by you
To kiss you and feel your warmth as you constantly say my name with these words
Oh I love you
I love you
I will never stop saying this to you
I regret every moment that I took these words for granted
For taking you for granted
For not saying it back
I love you
I really do
I always love you
I will shout this to the world for everyone to hear
I will whisper it to every ear
I will tell every soul
Yes love, I love you
Believe me I’ve always loved you
I LOVE YOU
I don’t know when I’ll be able to hear these three beautiful words again
It may never give me the same bliss that I felt before
I may hear it again but not from your lips anymore
I don’t know how to cover my sadness with another lie
With another fake smile
To try to remember these three beautiful words, I love you even if the last word that you said was
the three-letter word, BYE.