Oh, raise your hand up child
Hold it up to the light
Those sparks in your eyes
Don't let them dim tonight

I know your eyes see fear
When lost they look around
Can't hope for too much dear
Your heart remains unfound

And cold
Is what wraps around you
To hold
Those wolves that hound you
Hear them howl
See what it amounts to
I know that scowl
I've worn that mask too

Gathered here, miles from home
Aching feet through the dirt
Dragging hearts around like stone
Notes of pain written on your bones

So raise your hand
So that I might find you
Not all roads should be walked alone
Sometimes the company we keep
Is what we end up calling home

Longing to tell you everything
All that's hiding in my mind
All the spiders in my brain
And all the songs that are left to sing

My words so meant for you to hear
Explaining why my heart is so pitch black
At the same time, glowing with this deep red love
I just desperately want you near

Thinking of your loud sweet voice
And your scarred heart, broken so many times
In so much need of healing
I don't think I have a choice

But to lay awake
Worrying about your troubled mind
Feeling all your pain inside
Both our hearts and lives at stake.

Hated you a thousand times
Called you a million names
Now hating you into a rhyme
With every word it takes

I hate the way you tell your jokes
Hate even more that I smile
Can't stand the way you roll your smokes
And how you never walk the line

I don't even like your golden hair
And how it never looks the same
Despise the way you live so free
How you know no shame

I hate the way this poem makes me feel
My anger fades away
I know and knew this long before,
I could never hate you a day

I loved you a thousand times
Whispered a million sweet little names
While hating you into a rhyme
With every tear it takes.

There you are,
Long-awaited gentleman
Black figure in the shadows
I know you
Know what you do
While you wait there in the black
You do not scare me
No grief
Part of me is you
You will always be there
Always exist
Without you, no me
Dark and yet familiar
But I'm not making a mistake
I'm not going with you.

Time
Unease
All the lights went out as one
Before blasting back on again
Flashing a thousand times per second
And everyone of them I count
And it counts me out

Feeling
Like sixteen again
Take a bottle
Forget a pill
Look inside
See its filthy still

Shadow holding me
It comes inside
Like filthy things in the night
So I close my eyes
Sew shut my mouth
Trace my words with barbed wire

I feel them carving against my insides
Hooking flesh and trailing blood
Carving words I'll never speak and always feel
Right into my bones

These things will never leave their home
Sleeping sickly between these bones
Spoken from a rotten tongue
To keep inside
To say to no one
Cause I am no one

I'll keep on sleeping
In this body pretending to be awake
I'll keep on feeling
In this body pretending to be okay

And maybe
Just a maybe
One day
I might just be okay

Thats the lie I will believe in
To make it through the day

Distant eyes
Watery, just not yet
A hidden waterfall waiting to flow
Let it go
Let it stream
So you can breath again
Even for just a tiny minute

I feel you
Standing near
Though I can't see you
I know you're coming here

To unsettle my gut
And put my mind in unease
Never knowing where you're coming from
Only that you're coming for me

Bad omens in bones and I can't read the stones
But its burning to tell me I'll always be alone

To cast you out is to try and tame the weather
You just can't do it
So I'll wait
Sometimes burying my head
Because to look up is to feel fear

It wears me down
Waiting for the punch to hit the line
And make its mark on this life of mine