This dream
Left my heart sore
Shook me to the core

As if I don't remember
Everything that makes you,
Exactly you

This ache
Over and over and over
Squeezing my heart till it breaks

Doomed to see
You vanish every time
Never set me free

My dreams the only way
To have you so close
Until the rise of day.

It's not you, it's me
As they say

You act as if someone died
They say
Someone did, in fact, die
But it's not you, it's me

Blood has turned cold in my veins
Brains without oxygen
Muscles already stiff
Fake smile glued to my face
Traces of decay almost invisible

One day, there'll be no more left
Just some teeth, some hair
On top of rotting flesh
The piercing smell of betrayal
With a hint of loneliness

Dirt like a blanket
Tucking me in
My skull still smiling
With hollow eyes
So long, my broken heart

I don't know how, I don't know why
I don't know where I've found this strength
What I do know, however
Is that I now understand

You were a child, too
You didn't mean to hurt me
With your own troubles and demons
Something I so long couldn't see

A story always has two sides
One can never tell what another is going through
Just know, with my heart and soul
I have finally forgiven you.

Going crazy without you
Not knowing where you are
Not knowing where you sleep at night
Going crazy without you
Wondering if you think of me
Wondering if I am, too, your light
Going crazy without you
My heart is full of thorns
No salvation is in sight
Going crazy without you
You took my sanity when you left
Nothing feels right
Going crazy without you
Living in a daze
Crying to survive the night
Going crazy without you
I live a web of lies
In the darkest of bright

Disconnected
Not belonging in any world
Alienated from what once was my life
A scam of who I used to be
Nothing lasts forever, right?

What if I will stay a ghost
An undiscovered kind of poisonous flower
With leaves made of brick
Touching me will make you sick

My words a cloud of teargas
My voice a stinging bee
My thoughts a sword to the heart
Venomous from the start

What is it that I hear
What is that language that you speak
I can't understand a word you say
Or don't say

Violent purple in a sea of green
Your gray eyes mirror the chaos inside
Unable to explain
The depth of your thoughts

Still trying to untangle your emotions
So rarely shown
Threatening sometimes
Sad, more or less

Your anger building up
Erupting from your insides
You unstoppable volcano
I better run and hide

I remember days I’ve never had
Up the Ferris wheel it was getting to my head
Nervous shaking, hand to hand
Side to side sitting, top of the world and over end
And the breeze blowing kisses, now we’re never going to land

At the peak the world turned over
You and me way up high got frozen
City lights, the crowd below, feathers of a bird
And our hearts unfold
A kaleidoscope of dizzying heights
Everything captured silent in wide open eyes

We rise and fall with the breaths held in our chests
Slowly coming down, feet to earth, hand in hand
Walking on feathers, barely there but very near
The sound of mutual heartbeats in our ears
Silently stripping away our fears

Tonight we’re higher than we’ve ever been
A touch of fire between our skins
A flare, a spark
A kiss in the dark
Before sunrise
Living entire lives
Wrapped together on a bench in the park

And when the morning comes
We find our hearts anew in the sun
And temporarily all is home
Knowing for a moment
We are not alone