My ears are desperate,
Please tell me,
How much you love me,
I don't know, you never say,
Salvation is what I need,
I can not contrast my hunger with despair,
Save me, divulge me.

A mental note📒,
We
SURVIVE
to
"LIVE".
In the process of surviving,
I don't want to forget living.

Why do you worry so much?
You are so young,
Well, that's my biggest worry
being young.

Cherish when you can,
Or
You will be shattered
When it's gone....

My mind says Give up! Give Up! Give Up!
And I say Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up!

Do you get that feeling,

You are loved by everyone,
Yet you are no one's favourite,

The slots are always taken,
They were never empty,
And you are always left behind.

आप लोगों के अलावा,
कोई दूसरे के बारे में,
हम सोचना बि नहीं चाहते है।
मगर ये अपने ही हैं,
जो हमें समझ नहीं पाते हैं।

How wonderful Moms are,
Whenever she scolds,
I keep quiet,
Looking at her red eyes,
Act like scared,
And then she stops,
Am I the smart one to know her weakness
Or
Is it her who's wonderful enough,
To know all my tricks and still get tricked.

Why does Day by day it's getting harder,
When it's Nothing new but a replay,
It's okay till others ignored it,
But what if you too are ignoring your feelings?

I have a heartbeat but my heart is so passionless,
My body doesn't feel right as my soul has abandoned it,
Sometimes I think Am I even living?
Now I'm wondering
What is it like to live?

Luck may get partial sometimes,
But at some point ain't I lucky too,
As I'm still alive, breathing and writing.

No matter what I'm,
Who I am.
Changes will certainly be there,
But only for me and
Only if I want.

You know if I don't like to be with someone,
Then I just don't like to be,
But it doesn't mean they're unlikable,
It's just that a cup of masala chai,
And a dessert doesn't go well together,


The same goes for me, when someone
Don't like me,
It's not my fault either.

I might anger someone,
But
I always find it funny,
how my family appreciate someone for their mere speaking,
It's good that I know the true face of that stupid babbling,
The moment you leave will resume their true chattering,
What satisfaction do they get from this process of fooling?
So dear people don't get into their talking,
Let me give a perfect instance to your understanding,
If somebody is deemed to be outstanding,
Based on their homily, and vows,
Giant words, a face where immense confidence shows,
Certainly, look like wonderful folks,
Regardless
Surmise it's true even for a while,
Wouldn't Politicians be the most believed meanwhile,
So people is your assumption worthwhile?

Shapeshifters
Exist
In me
My thoughts
My emotions
But not in
My behaviour
Now they are
Squealing  altogether
It's so noisy and stifling
And yet I'm staying calm.
Because
Someone has to be.
Right.

My sad times are always accompanied
by my poems...
Then why don't my good times

I wanted to be kind,
I became a coward.

Be real,
But not so much that you lose yourself,
You don't have to express your every thought and every desire,
You cannot wish for the one who isn't you to appreciate every dream you aspire,
It's not you who's at fault,
The world simply doesn't conspire.

As splendid as a,
Intense brown Caramel Sunset Beach view,
A realisation could be,
Or as extreme as a tsunami.

pain Is inevitable,
Sometimes if we want things to get better,
We need to embrace the pain.

I'm tied,
Tied with the heaviest and strongest ropes,
Ropes of imaginary picture-perfect me,
Imagination is which doesn't exist,
And what I am is how I don't want to exist.

I'm chasing a good career,
I'm striving for promising work,
I'm desiring for an ideal life,
I'm dying for a perfect body,
I'm struggling to achieve luxury,
I'm working on building my brand,
I'd want to be loved so much
I've many things in life that
I might die achieving,
I want each one of them, but
I wouldn't be shattered without them,
I'd still make a living, as
In MY LIFE,
My emotions, my People, their feelings
Are the only things that matter the most,
In the end
I just want to get better as a person, daughter, sibling, and citizen.

In a few issues, in fact in a lot of issues
" Ignoring what others may think is good
But aren't people making a little too rude?"

Oh dear,
My imagination and fantasies,
Of you,
Will destroy me someday.

Though it has become voluntary now,
The moment passed without your thought
Feels most unnatural,

The celebration of you in my mind,
Is designing my shrine,
I keep you near in my heart,
Reality gave me a heart attack.

Actuality and illusion,
I'm in between life and death,
Still, I'm hoping for a slight life in death,
Though I'm aware of Destruction,
I choose to be buried in you,
Not the real you but Mostly how I see you.

After a long time,
I took a selfie
Today.

Haal kya hai janab ka?
Jawab kya hoga,
Iss sawal ka?
Zara sa mann duniya mein, Zara sa mann kaagaz ke panno mein,
Hum to kud gumshuda hai,
Humare in khayalon mein।

There's nothing:oh- so very startling,
If one day we're told that
We live in illusions,
I understand worry is the most futile work,
Any human can perform,
In any sense of life,
So instead let me take a peek,
Of Your illusion, and gain some experience,
To bring out the nicest and most beautiful delicacy,
Out of my psyche fallacy.

She was my best friend,
The best I could ever have,
I mourned for months when her family moved out,
I would tell everyone about the friendship we had,
I was so happy when I was meeting you again,
But that turned out to be very very sad,
You behaved as if you don't even know me,
First time in my life I felt my heart broken,
Instead of embarrassment, I felt lament,
I wish we had never met again,
I would have lived in our good memories,
You were my first heartbreak, the beginning, there were many after you,
The problem is within me,
If I'm into something I do it like a devotee,
I'm afraid that if this is how  friendship could affect me,
What would love do to me?

What is it papa?
Oh That my princess, it's an aeroplane,

Papa, I want one aeroplane, please.
Ooh, do you? Tomorrow you will have one I promise,

Papa, look plane plane, flying flying.
Yes now turn around, look there,
Wow papa, it's a plane plane, is it real,
Yes I just grabbed it from sky for you,
How papa are you a super hero?
Hahaha yes my little doll as long as you believe so,
Woooh, Papa let's fly,
Yess let's fly hohoooo,

Papa this is not real plane,
Yes beta it wasn't,
Why did you lie,I really thought you could fly,
Sorry beta, I wanted to be your superhero at least for some time.

No papa, you are wrong,
I know,
No superhero can be my dad. Now come let's play.

Dear sister,
Time spent with you is so beautiful,
Maybe that is why, it's flying hastily,
I perhaps can't slow down the time,
However, I would do anything to prevent this thought,
"When did we drift apart?"

No matter what you choose,
Regrets would never leave you, would they?
So I'm weighing my regrets

Mustered up all the courage,
I've unlocked the door,
I don't know what's behind that,
Even if I open it,
Would I be able to step outside the door?
Or the concern of this unknown new world and self-doubt,
End up killing my curiosity?
What's making me scared, will it turn out real or is it just an illusion?
I've opposed many to get here,
Will I be able to answer them?
Many questions are making my heart sore,
Would I  be able to step outside the door?

You don't need a big breakdown,
To become stronger,
There are many small invisible,
Pieces of glass,
Which rip your skin apart,
Without leaving a scar,
But the pain you survive,
Makes your WILL stronger...

"Uttam", " excellence"
How do I reach you,
Can I ever?
I'm pretty average in everything,
So is the feeling,
But
Will someone like me ever change,
Can I ever be Uttam,
I want to taste how it feels.
How excellence feels.

The place where,
You don't willingly go,
End up reluctant to return from,
Is called shower🚿

I'm craving books,
Please give me as many best names as you wish!

There are some things,
No one except our mom can understand.

By Freedom,
I never meant,
I'd drink, smoke
or have random ***.

I have very different views on freedom,
By Freedom I mean,
To carve my path, to design my next steps,
By freedom, I mean, to speak what I think
Or to figure out how I think,
By Freedom, I mean doing what I wish at this moment without caring about the impressions I make,
By Freedom, I mean figuring out what I want to wish for without fear,
By Freedom, I mean running on empty roads for once, to get a glimpse of the night-view world,
By freedom, I mean expressing myself precisely, even if  my hands tremble,
By freedom I mean I'm accountable for my life and I don't want anybody's control over it,
By Freedom, I mean creating a new state of my mind, being revolutionary against improper.
By freedom, I mean let me throw myself out and explore.
By freedom, I mean both internal and external.

Are we seeking advise or,
getting influenced...
Are letting our own thoughts to be formed
or, are they buried under the views of someone superior.

wanting to offend,
but ends up nodding.

I gave you my heart,
You said you gave me yours,
Now this, which hurts the most,
Ripping me apart,
I wonder if this thing is mine or yours.

Have you ever felt
Like you are absorbing the calmness,
Just like a sponge absorbs water,
Entering through each pore,
My inner voices are silenced,
It's so good, I'm rejoicing it,
So this is how peace feels like.

You know honey,
That's not it,
Maybe You can go for bread or oats,
But have one path,
Coz You cannot survive,
With your feet on two boats,

Hey, hey don't risk it,
Do you think you'll ever make it,
By putting all your eggs in one basket.

Sweetie, life could get bitter
If you'd lie,
But do remember,
It's good, to be honest, and
dumb to be too honest.

Uh-uh,
Gimme a second,
HONEST is honest,
There's nothing like being too honest,
All I ever wished was to grow,
What are you exactly telling me to do bro!!!

You are coffee,
And I am milk,
We may go fine alone,
There are others, I can get along,
But only our fusion can create,
LATTE ART❤

This path is my routine,
Traffic lights glint to green,
I feel plastered to the ground,
In the middle with vehicles moving around,
Blurred vision, numbing mind,
I could still hear the honking behind.
At this moment, at this point,
I don't want to move, I want to realize,
Something which I have wondered for a while,
Not being a daughter,
Nor a sister,
Not a citizen,
Nor a student,
Not a devotee,
Not a friend,
Nor an enemy,
Without any tie,
In this world What am I?
Not the pretend,
Nor the true,
Not the nice, taking the bait,
Not the constant struggle to sustain,
Not the one I want to be,
Not the one the world wants to see,
Behind the sweet smile,
Behind the scars,
Behind the masks,
Buried so deep,
Not the eyes,
Nor the body,
Not the one which everyone sees,
When I face the mirror,
I always wonder I don't know why,
Behind the curtains,
Who am I?

Forced sentiments,
Faked smiles,
There are many black coal mines,
Don't cry dear,
That's not brave ones choice.
Lurk those scars,
For the false pride.
Raspy barks,
The world is dark,
Save your wings,
Don't fly,
Make your choices,
Accordingly,
Maybe that right,
Is wrong for society.
The whole teen's gone,
In this perilous cry,
Leaving these taught's behind,
I don't want my whole life to be a LIE.

Dawdling to the memories
Which were old and constrain.
Those flashbacks, in the nights,
Costs my energy and sleep to drain.
Everyone thinks it's matter of one's heart,
But the one who's to blame is the brain

Why is he asking for my number?

Can I trust them and go to that place?

Can I accept his ride?

Aunty says I'm growing up, so I should start wearing a scarf, to protect myself.

Here I was thinking scarfs are winter clothes,

Aunty says I should stop wearing sleeveless,
I should protect myself from bad eyes,

I'm covering myself, I've hidden my body well,
But from whom and from whom not,

Who can be trusted and who can not be?

Should I be hidden or should I not be?

I heard some boy say, night bike rides are the best,

I'm sure I'll never witness a night like that,

My friend thinks once she's married, she'll be free, she will have a protector by her side,

How can she not realise, right now we are tangled by invisible chains,

Marriage is an act where you are knotted,
Publically.

I don't know what freedom is, I don't think what I thought was freedom.

Aunties say it's always me who has the control of safety, a little mistake, and I'll get myself rapped or harassed,

Periods are painful and extremely uncomfortable,
But I should make sure not to talk about it, it's gross or impure I guess.

I don't know how women conceive a child,
It's so scary,
But Aunty says it's a privilege,
She says there are many banj(defective women who are unfit to conceive.) Out there, so I shouldn't think like that.


I wish I could ask people on social media,
If given a choice how many of them would like to be a
WOMEN☕

My chest feels so insecure,
So do my back,
Though it's a huge discomfort,
I tend to go to the Battlefield,
Matching the shoulders which aren't so tough,
Bearing those strange looks and gazes here and there,
At those times I don't understand,
What could solve my problem, should I fully cover myself or just roam uncovered.
The real battle begins, when my voice starts to raise,
I knew what will happen, I didn't expect any praise,
"Who are we to talk, when nature itself says"
when this question is asked why can't I utter a phrase.
I think I made a mistake,
And yes I admit it, being a girl is a mistake.

You are not sorted,
Are not perfect.
Neither am I,
Nor the world is.

You never know,
if things are really scary,
Or
Is it our imagination that freaks us out?