Solemnly sitting there in silence wonder why she’s hurting
Never crossing his mind of the paths she has been forced to take as a young one
In this unjust world
He has heard the stories
But never being through the trauma he can’t recall nor recite her tales
Leaving her lips to his ears
Defiled by people who were sworn to protect her
She has been beaten in relationships
With meaningless words
Countless actions
She has been cheated, lied,
Betrayed by her betroth, partner…her person
Still knowing all he knew of her story past
With all that knowledge
She has entrusted him with.
He carelessly let tears stream down her cheek
That he once made smile.
Alone in pitch darkness
As quietly as she possibly could keep the sound
Of her heart breaking.
She wonders and excepts.
Was it for good measure? Does her pain feel good enough for him yet?
Sadly, it must.
He once gazed into her eyes passionately.
Filled with hope and promise.
Some time ago, in her eyes
He was love, kindness.
Her impossible dream come true.
Finally able to breathe
He was her trust in its entirety
His kisses where falsely forever more
Where once he made her finally
See beauty in her own self
Only to turn
Seeing but fault through the same eyes
Actions
Words that she’ll never be left unsaid
Nor forgotten
An endless cycle showing her
her place in the world.
Nowhere

I run around
My day full of distraction
Just to forget
I get home  
Reach my bedroom chamber
Please just forget
Felling a bit triggered
“Come on try harder”
I tell myself
To forget
Finish my rituals
Shower, brush teeth, clean face…
Hoping that my body has forgotten
I lye in bed
Close my eye
Tight with intent
To forget
As I squeeze my pillow tighter
I can’t Forget
The wanting
To be engulfed by an embrace
Please forget
The need to be held
Let it be faint
Away from my memory
My body won’t let me forget
Like a ghost that Haunts I can feel
The hair texture
On your body
Can’t equate the number zero
The empty space beside me
Breath in
Out
Repeat to one self
Forget

We parted ways
And said our goodbyes
Seven months ago
On the 39th celebration of my birth
Of all days
I now see
It was actually a gift
And I thank you
Only in less the a month
You had..have
Another in your bed
Yet on what was supposed to be
Our 3rd year anniversary
After our depart
You persecute me
I waited six whole months
To finally let someone touch me
To finally let someone kiss me
To let somebody so kind and gentle
Show the desire within me
Of wanting to feel alive again
You persecute me
You expressed your pain
In my decision to feel desired once more
You persecute me
And refuse to see the pain you’ve ones cost me
Over and over again
You persecute me
And refuse to acknowledge your own wrongdoings
You persecute me
refuse to see
the times that I have forgiven you
And still do so
Never once showing remorse
Never once asking for forgiveness
Never once giving forgiveness
I overlooked all the ugly in you
Always reflecting light in the beauty
You persecute me
But don’t know how to truly love
Love isn’t  Boastful
Love is kind
Love is forgiveness
Love is pure
Love is messy
Love is unconditional
Yet you persecute me
For being wanted
The way a woman needs to be wanted
Persecution
is the only sentence you desire to give

No I’m not in love
I just love your touch
Rather it be an embrace
Rather it be A slight Graze
My back, my arm
Neck and face
You do ever so gently
And with such grace
I love your kiss
Lasting for a moment
It feels everlasting
Faith restored
In the power of
Something so simplistic
Such as this
No
I’m not in love
It’s definitely not that
It’s the power you gave back to me
You make me feel desirable
I love the chemistry
Manipulating my brain
In the most positive way
A perfidious lover
You most definitely
Are not
Generous Is the atmosphere
You create
To make me safe enough
To know that I’m not in love
And yet…
I am loved

Bodies facing each other as we slept
Chest to chest
My breath against your collar
Your breath against the top of my head
Feeling the movement of their sway with each breath you let out
Your  arms and legs engulfing my small frame
My cheek slowly pressed harder against you
As you grasp tighten
Drawing my ear closer to your chest
The soothing sound of your heart beat
Accelerates
A kiss to the forehead
And the slow movement of your hand going down my back
Moving down my waist
You give a firm squeeze
You somehow manage to pull my body closer
As if it wasn’t already close enough
I lift my head to meet your lips
Lifting my leg up as well so that my inner thigh meets your hip.
I suddenly feel you at attention
Strong as a rock
My heart beat can’t help but to quicken
From my side you lay me back down
Your chest rises from me
But? But? I think with my eyes
As I gaze upon him
I let out of my lips with a slight confusion
Chéri…
Sssshhh.. not yet
He whispers to me
Kisses go down my neck
Tongue gently grazing my ******
Kisses continue down my stomach
your wet tongue
Lick me on the Crease between my hip and thigh
Trying to find a little control and solace as i tightly grip the pillow
The suspense of your
warm wet tongue has me in a spin
Again you say
not yet
Holding on is both agonizing and thrilling
This time not only my heart beat but my breath quickens
Lifting while spending my legs
Your head and tongue reach your next destination
Holding the pillow tight for dear life
I can no longer stay in silent pleasure
My voice about to reach a second Pitch
Right when my body is about to explode
Not yet.
You grip my thighs and drag me down hip to hip
Thigh to thigh
Face to face
Both ready to receive each other with uncontrollable passion and pure
Ecstasy