I can't look at his face without wanting to cry
I pass you by in the house
intentionally not looking at him for that reason
i can't so looking passed you it will be
I can't keep the pain from rushing back up
like a title wave punching me in the gut
my throat closes
and the pain is intense
but I won't allow it to show
especially to someone who cares nothing for me
you aren't the kind of person to ever show remorse
never appalogies
always correct
thinks he can do no wrong
incapable of saying a simple thank you
the total opposite of the kind of person I am
for that I can't
and I wont give you the pleasure of seeing me suffer
for now I will still be me
no anger
show politeness and smile behind my pain.
I'll release in the privacy of the car, shower
anywhere but in front of you
till we part I can't and I won't.

I will love you like a fool
No.
I loved you like a fool
and your fool no longer shall be
no longer will I fool myself
No longer will I say
I didn't love hard enough
because I did
No longer will I wait to hear I love you
You made sure to stop doing so a long time ago
You no longer held me and called me like a man in love
no longe called me prince butter cup
while looking at me so intensely it would embarrass me
as you use to do
you no longer told me I was beautiful
I should of known then you had fallen out of love
no longer will I ignored the signs
kisses are no longer sweet
no longer will I ignore my worth
No longer will I foolishly
body, soul and spirit
give love and expect it back
without consequence
I let you free from the bonds of my heart
yes I will cry along the way
I will pick up my own shattered pieces

I ask myself everyday
How can I show you
How can I show you how you move me
Rather it be dancing in the kitchen
To you simply kissing my cheek
Your small gestures say it all
I’m safe in your arms
I don’t feel like I may fall
And even if I do
I know you’ll catch me
As I would you
You let me discover me
Because let’s just face it
I was never allowed to do so
You make me want to be a better woman
For myself, child and you my love
You make me excited again
I lay down my past
I look forward to our future
Something I never fathomed before
A concept so foreign
Your eyes show me the future I desire
Your words give me courage
Courage I never had been given your arms give me peace I desire
Yet still in your arms
I feel free
Freedom that I once haven’t had
I have nothing to give
But will spend the rest of my life showing you with every breath, touch and offering I can possibly possess and gather.

Mon cœur, mon esprit, mon corps et mon âme sont agités.  Ils ne me laisseront pas me reposer avant que ma tête ne repose sur votre poitrine.  La tête contre la poitrine, le son de vos battements de cœur me réconforte.  Tes bras sont étroitement enroulés autour de moi. Je sais que j’ai retrouvé ma personne.


My heart, mind, body and soul are restless. They won’t let me rest until my head is rested on to your chest. Head to chest the sound of your heart beat comforts me. Your arms tightly wrapped around me I know I’ve found my person.

This constant cycle of asking of how I am certain.

For once you be so certain about yourself and not question my love and certainty.

For once know I’ve been hurt and in pain as you have. else you and I wouldn’t be face to face at this particular moment

For once make love to me like you did the first time. for I still make love to you with as much want, need and intensity.

I’m exhausted but need your touch  

It’s constant.

must have your finger tips against my skin.

It’s constant.

lust over your lips pressed against mine.

It’s constant.

Sweating, releasing, breathing, exhaling in lost. Indeed it’s constant.

My constant is obvious. I leave the past to the past. The moment is first and my certainty of you is constant my love

How are you pulling me close?
I still feel your touch
Your kiss
Your arms wrapped around me so tight
I’d be okay in that position
Even if the world was coming to an end
At that very moment
Your arms always feel like home
I wish they didn’t

I’m afraid with one call
I would come running
I’m afraid nothing and no one
would be able to stop me
from getting to you
How do you do it?
How you have such a pull over me?

Your voice
The way you look at me
The thought of your breath against my forehead as we sleep intertwined

How?
How do you make me so weak
I’ve made it up in my mine
It’s over since I was your second choice
But I can still feel you pulling me
Deep down in my soul

There’s a crack in the walls
I’ve put back up
And I can’t find it.
I pray to find it so I may seal it back up

I miss the way you’d make me smile
Laughter till I couldn’t
I wish I had known our last kiss was goodbye

The way you grabbed me and turned me around to kiss me so passionately
It should of been a sign

The way you made love to me
That night is stuck with me and I can’t shake it.

When we said we are friends
I was fine
Until you said you missed me
And know I’m here in a puddle of tears
Trying not to run to you.
Don’t pull me in please
not when I know you maybe sitting next to her right now.

You keep pulling me in.

He treated her beautifully
They where madly in love
they talked for hours
Starring what felt like each others soul
They had a special bond that couldn’t be expressed
Made love for hours
Even days at times
Passionate
Explosive
She looked at him adoringly
Wondering how did she get so lucky
She loved how he looked at her
Touched her kissed her.
Both passionate about everything they did
Art, music, movies, their kids, family etc so on and so forth
She..
she...
She....
I
:-(
Little did I know I was the rebound
It was all an illusion
How was I to know?
I’ve never been in that position before to recognize it.
Picking up the shattered pieces of my heart at the moment
Wondering if I even really want to
Or should
What’s the point?