Some days I am invisible
Some days I am seen
Some days my friends don’t notice me
And some days they are mean

Some days people look at me
When I say something weird
Some days they don’t listen
And some days they don’t hear

Some days people judge me
On everything I wear
Some days they don’t look
Because they don’t even care

Some days people say
That I need mental help
But I bet that they won’t stress
After I’ve killed myself

I got scars on my wrists
Cause there are scars on my heart
Held together by seams
That are falling apart

I see the crimson pain
Fall on the floor
There is still no feeling gained
And there’s a knock at the door

I wipe it away
I pretend and I play
To be just fine
Just so I can hide

My friends aren’t what they seam
Because they’re letting go
My heart starts to go numb
And my death is feeling slow

You say your heart is numb
Because there’s no desire
But mine is not the same
Because it’s filled with fire

I feel every little spark
When you poke and **** my heart
When I am faced with hate
My mind is set ablaze

Your rivers are frozen and dry
But mine are flowing through my windows
It doesn’t mean you don’t cry
But I have soaked my pillows

Your empty desert eyes
Are different from this ocean of mine
But neither one matters
Because we both wave bye from inside

Goodnight lover
Goodnight mother
Goodnight father
Goodnight brother
Goodnight goodnight
Goodnight friends
This may be the end
Goodnight it’s time to sever
All of our ties
Goodnight maybe forever
Goodnight
And Goodbye

Sometimes when I look at the ocean
I can see my reflection
The deep blue illuminated
By the pale moon

I look and see myself
But something is different
I can’t tell if there are ripples in the water
Or if my facade can not be mirrored

First I look at  my eyes
As normal as can be
What most see as sparkling
I see as empty

Then I gaze my lips
Pretty plump and round
Everyone sees a smile
But all I see is a frown

At last I try to study my heart
Everyone thinks it’s a diamond
But I know that’s not true
Because it’s actually just coal
Waiting to be burned
And turned into ash

I hug my shoulders tight
While I’m standing  with no light
My hair flies in the freezing air
While I’m screaming at nobody there
I’m paralyzed in the cold of depression
My happy smile has made a recession

I’m slowly disappearing
Into a stone cold stare
I  see all the things I’m fearing
I see my monsters everywhere

Im hearing laughs but they aren’t mine
And slowly I start to cry
My heart is breaking I don’t know why
Stuck in the dungeon of my mind
I think I might die

Cause they pull on the chains
That are pulling me apart
Frozen to the touch
They’re wrapped around my arms
Holding me tight
Cause no one else will
Lost the urge to fight
So my body stands still

I cry, tears fall and I cry
They fall and I cry
Everyday I cry
But I don’t know why

I don’t know what the problem is
I just know it’s something I can’t fix
I don’t know why I’m feeling this
Just that me and happy don’t mix

I always feel sad and alone
So I sit by myself at home
Looking at everyone’s happy lives
And thinking, I want to die

I think of everything
Everyone
Every moment
That has made me sad
Everything that made me feel bad
My hearts beating like a drum
Ba dum
Can’t live like this
Ba dum
Can’t live like this
Ba dum
Can’t live like this
Ba dum
Can’t live

Extra
You are so freaking extra
Extra doesn’t even sum it up
You are extravagant

For everyone but me of course
It’s your friends birthday
So you decorate their locker
Give them a present
And tell them how much they mean to you

Well I guess I should stop looking
In the dictionary for my name
Because to you it means nothing
So I get nothing

You invite all your friends to hang out
And I’m just looking at my phone
Waiting for you to answer that text
From last week

I look on your social media
At all the fun you’re having
How pretty you are
And how I’m not in a single photo
How I’m not in a single memory