Manifest me
But what does that look like
Broken apart peice by peice
Entangled in what I was and what i want to be now
Enticed in an illusion of what I should be
Confused be the illustrations of my life those far
Colored in the lines for so long
Outside the box was insecure
Now the picture I want to paint is no work of art
Impressions of the life I once had
It's so shaded so unclear
When I could no longer out run the past
I tried to stay in the colors of simplicity
But where did that get me
Here and now alone in the decisions I made
Caught between the childhood that never was
And the adulthood of evil realities
These concepts of what could be
Were erased by time but still there in some shape or form
An abstract into the complexity of a man
There was no soul purpose no heart to his game
Integrity non existent
It was almost like a blur in time
A fracture in my own conception
It took everything away from me
I never stood there and fought
I gave up on what I could have been
Now here at 48 I try to reason with myself
Chase the demons away with self gratification
I am what is wrong with so many in this generation
I keep it all hidden
Soulless eyes is what you all saw
I have beat myself up over and over again
I am not the one for you
I am not your shining star
I feel more like the space junk that has no direction when it crashes to the surface
I have ignored all the advice all the knowledge you gave for what to be unprepared for the inevitable.
It's a vicious cycle
A two timing cheat on myself
When I know I can write all my wrongs
But I just get in my own way over and over
I am the catastrophe of my own intuition
I sit here and write tonight  bearing my soul to you
But in essence it's to my own self
You see way more in me then I do in myself
So tonight I am taking a step forward into the haunted house I call my emotion
I would like you all to see that We all have these demons but why should we let them get to us.
We can't let them win
We can't turn the control over to them
We have to be our true incarnation of our own reality
We must move forward and grow
Step outside the norm and become the absolute best Version of us we can be because in the end who is the only one who has to live with us. It's me......